₦airaland Forum

HBD to you!

I'm wishing you HBD coz together with Andres Iniesta and Thibaut Courtois,we are birthday mates!!

bjcool100:
. Yea thanks I just got that problem fixed.I made a mistake with my reg no.Plz,what do I do about the bedspace oo.I haven't gotten one o

Unfortunately,nothing @ the moment. But when you resume,you can go complain @ DSA.

uumm:
thanks for sharing...

btw, what about primitive people like me that do not have whatsapp?

You know the type of student that is always the first to know an exam date,the type to be the first to lay their hands on new materials,the type that their note are always complete. Well,another way of being well informed is to befriend or be close to somebody like that.

Timmytimmy:
Bro, i'll need your help when we resume oh. You'll surely be seeing me. What time will you be on campus?

No P bro .
I'll be arriving on campus on either Sunday or Monday

They are not mother and daughter!. Probably colleagues. The highest age the difference that can be between both of them is 15.

9blast:
thanks for the tips bro,been thinking about the registration stuff u pointed out too
Btw,why must u pick on just me? And for ur information,I went to church...na even first service sef even tho my spirit was far away from their sha

Not after boasting to sister Faith that you're supposed to be in school by this time last wk .

bjcool100:
And what is this BS on eportal for God's sake

You probably did something wrong. Maybe you applied for bedspace in the Final year category.
Anyways,you'd have to go to school (computer room),before it can be rectified. In case they keep on posting you,get a lecturer to go along with you.

Leitner Pro-tips:::

1 wk to resumption. As we are resuming,here are random tips I thought I should share-

1) Registration is always stressful. Exceptions are faculties with low number of students {dentistry,clinical sciences,Pharmacy,Law,Basic medical}; the remaining faculties have high number of students.
If you are in one of the faculties with many student,the trick is- just be a little bit patient. Don't rush to do your reg immediately you resume as people are always much;therefore making the process stressful. During my time,after stressfully waiting 7:00 - 4:00 for like 4 days without any success with my reg,in anger,I decided not to go again. I eventually completed my reg later when lecture has started,in less than 15 mins of waiting.

2) Academics- one thing you should make sure of in your academic life is that- your notes should always be complete. Make sure your notes are complete,and if you are the lazy type like me,you can always photocopy{Find and make friends with someone who attends class regularly}. Reading only textbooks will never make you ace exams. For part 1 students, most of your exams and tests will be set from your notes. And most lecturers only mark answers correct when you put them word for word as it is in the note. Textbooks are good for supplementary,but your notes are the MAIN THING!.

Another one{this is for those live in hostels apart from Moz and Angola}- The main advantage of being a Fresher in Ang and Moz is that you easily get the latest information,also on time and it is vice versa for those that don't stay in Ang and Moz.
That's why I will advice you guyz to always keep contacts with your course mates; it's very necessary. Make sure you have the class rep's number. There is also always a departmental group on whatsapp,make sure you join that too or you might just miss the practical that has been re-fixed to an earlier date. The whatsapp group might be annoying @ first due to barrage of notifications you will be receiving and the nonsense chats going on there. But believe me,it will definitely come in handy Later.

Lastly on academics- it's a cliche but here it is:: make sure you start reading as early as possible. Time flies so fast that before you know it,notes are already becoming bulky,test has already started and small time again,you are already preparing for exams. So,unless you are einstein or like crash-reading,which is a gamble,I will implore you to start reading couple weeks into resumption and before your notes start getting bulky and voluminous.

3) A bonus! - Ok here it is- don't be scared of anyone in OAU!. Fighting is not allowed; so don't be afraid to air your views. If anybody tells you CR7 is better than Messi,don't hesitate to tell him he is suffering from acute Orubebeism .

But be careful,you just might meet the guy you abused on campus,in a lonely street in Ibadan .



HAPPY SUNDAY to Y'ALL!!!!!! . I know say 9blast no go attend church today .

chimoskyg:
Wetin him dey use bleep dem

He used a prothestic JT.

The two kids{A & B }(100kg) will go first.

Then,Kid A (50kg) of them will go back with the canoe to meet their mum on the other end. The mum(100kg) alone will cross to the other side to meet the kid B

Kid B(50kg) will then cross the river to go to meet his brother. And both of them(100kg) will the successfully cross to the other side to go meet their mum AND EVERYBODY IS HAPPY!! .

Treasureoluwaseun:
Am askn a simpu questn, no 1 ans mi


Haydot(9blast)
Timmytimmy nd odas, dammytrager(ma guy) excluded. . . If to sey na 1 girl ask questn nau, una vein go dey rise to ans her bt i dey ask simpu questn nau none of u ans mi.

DAMMYTRAGER OOO, WHERE AT THOU, COME FORTH

Main blocks:: 6
Annex:: 6
Self-help:: 8
Attic:: not sure the number,but the place is terrible as they are always much


All numbers are for LEGAL occupants.

mamagee3:
[color=deeppink]Easy! Don't overhype him!

He's not the first player to score a double in the Champions league.[/color]

More like- he's the only player to score an INCREDIBLE brace and make an assist against a great bayern side,coached by a great coach: Guardiola.



Pls take note of the incredible-Na so so headed goals and tap in CR7 dey score

In Gary Lineker's voice- "Messi is undoubtedly the greatest player to ever don a pair of boot". Messi is a FUKK|NG GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!. When this guy dies,they should juts cut his left foot,preserve it and put it in a Maximum security museum till the second coming of Christ!!.

9blast:
gbam...knew it. case closed!!
as for that ya yeye viva barca ehn...mk I just shut up small,my own na to support the ball


Leitner,oya con start ur wakarization to fp o

Timmy has probably heard the riddle before,reason why he was able to decipher it; it's always kinda hard for first timers. Asked one guy like that,and dude said NEPA took light the first time .

This one wey you dey side bayern,you don go stake for merrybet again abi? . No worry,I go con laugh you later,make barca win the match first.

As for trekking,after match .

babysmart:
at all o

Eeyah,sorry ehn. Just keep trying.

A random and quite hard riddle I came across.



Once there was a bus conductor, who was
very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18
years,tried to board the
bus,
but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the
beautiful young girl came
under the bus and died on the spot.
Angry passengers took the conductor to the
police station, who in turn
took
him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him
and gave him capital
punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber.
There was a single chair in the center of the
room and a single banana
peel
at one corner of the room.
The conductor was strapped to the chair and
high voltage current was
given
to him! .
But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
The judge decided to set him free, and he
returned to his profession.



A couple of months later, an elderly
gentleman tried to board the bus.
This time the Bus conductor, remembering
his earlier experiences,
stopped
the bus.
Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped
and died due to his
injuries.

The conductor was taken to the police station
and then to the court, to
the
same judge.

Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but
considering his past record
the
judge decided to set an example and gave
him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the
same electrocution chamber
where
there was a single chair in the center of the
room and a single banana
peel
at one corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage
current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!



The question is why didn't he die on the first occasion, but died
instantly the second time??


Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather
interesting and answer is
perfectly logical.
If necessary read the puzzle once again.



If anybody gets this without any form of [i]magomago[i\] (haydot,you be suspect ) ,I promise to trek form Education section to frontpage


Off to watch Barca - Bayern .

Cc::: timmytimmy,deji01,babysmart,9blast,davidbanner,lyrically,godoforijin,dazzlemee,aeshaar,sleek4,uumm,dammytrager,queenabby, and ALL other aspirant.

Eeew.
He's not kissing her,he's sucking her face.

Western comedians to me,are drier than the harmattan wind!.

Nigerian comedians telling their joke in pidgin is obviously the reason they are not on the list.

Nna mehn,na wa for some people o. When no be say dem knack you charm; how pesin go just wake up one day,begin trek long distance like madman for a NIGERIAN POLITICIAN

DP

babysmart:
pls can I av ur contact?

Na wa o,so you were eventually not given a bedspace?

RapLawd:
hate? is that hate? she aired her opinion and now your after her pathetic!!!


for your information, they should be as divacious as goddesses, niggah like me ain't give poo!


and if any modafvcka among the elect(both the praido and vice)bleep off, we're gonna let hell loose and demons will roam their mind estate.... we voted them not their to be banged daughters...


and for that edeot Zahra of a fool, the daura queen daughter of our modern days presidential elect without proof for qualification... the divacious daughter of cerificateless president to be... the only asshole b!tch that justifies the office of the president to be of merit and right of her sick to die old illiterate father rather not by qualification as stated by the constitution!.


she should tell her dad to be ready to employ those niggah that ain't with certificate or any form of educational credential, after all, he the president is their role model and she the daughter has made it part of our constitution "that one can be a leader without proper education "


Bros na lie

Colonel save-a-sket; believe me,if you continue to try to impress ladies this way,you are never going to get laid

9! . Oya,where's my prize?

godofOrijin:
Mi guys, enjoy yourself jor. OAU cannor come an giv us HBP.


WEDDING TEST!!! –Adults Only-

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating 4 over a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective 21 year old sister-in-law, always wore very tight miniskirts, and often times was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me,and I always got more than a nice view.

One day her little sis called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived,and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I get married and commit my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, I’m going upstairs to my room, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me. I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go upstairs.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and headed straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Behold, my future family were standing outside, all clapping!.

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter Welcome to the family!”.({})

I smiled and heaved a sigh of relief because I was actually heading to my car to get my condoms …NA GOD SAVE ME O!..share with your friend don’t laugh alone

Nonsense!!.
Make one family try am with me,and see if I no o knack their daughter . How pesin go put delicious food for hungry man front,con expect say e no go chop am? .

TheGoodJoe:

At Manchester City, Aguero drops deep to create for his team mates. If you watch the Man City preseason games, Nacho did that too.

Playing Nacho as a striker will not kill his creative instincts. Look at Wayne Rooney when he leads the attack for Van Gaal.

Aguero drops deep to create for his Man city team-mates?. You are chatting puppycocks!. Aguero rarely drops to midfield like the messi,rooney type to offer any creativity. Aguero is a TARGET man kind of striker; he ever rarely drops deep!.

And Nacho is a silva,Iniesta,Ozil kinda player. He will never make it as a striker. These kind of players have good finish and composure but that does not make them a striker. To be a striker,you must possess either TREMENDOUS pace with explosive power or Physical strength if you don't have the previously mentioned and in some cases, you. Can have both. Nacho is average @best in all of the qualities mentioned.

Saying Nacho can play as a striker is the same as saying a player like Ozil will excel in the CF role. Just like Ozil,Iniesta,Silva,another position I see him being able to play is the Winger role.

I will just look @ the baby and start crying.

babysmart:
God will cast d spirit of madness in dem out IJN.

So you can pray like this? . See as OAU turn you to prayer warrior .

Well,I do not think OAU will postpone the resumption date again. It's only ASUU palava that I'm not sure of. But the fact that it's only on this thread that I heard the rumour makes me optimistic.

HBD XXX5,wa last bi perfume hausa .

In other news, 17 + X + Y days to go. Where X And Y are uncertainties which stand for Omole and Assu's propensity for another madness.

babysmart:
Lmao
e be like say u wan get implicated my dear brother


not sure yet o

Aiit nau. I @ first Thought you wanted to get maintenance. Just wanted to advice you that- maybe you should go to school early so that the bedspaces there won't exhaust before you eventually reach school and then start cursing Omole again .

XXX5:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Tomorrow I celebrate ME! The birth of Me! The person I have grown to be! The person I will become! The brother, son, friend, boyfriend, Student I am! and the Father I will be someday! I celebrate Me today! I am grateful to God for the gift of life, I am void without him. Also thankful to my earthly parents for nurturing me into the graceful, lovely, and great man I am today. Happy birthday to Me! I wish myself many more years of joy, love, laughter, health and prosperity. I wish myself strength and wisdom for days to come and success with everything I do today, and tomorrow! Here’s a drink to ME!

Happy 70th birthday in advance. Una don see wetin OAU dy cause?.

babysmart:
Lolz
I didn't mean to be absent na,
I heard d news since yesterday sef



squat with u *yee mo gbe o*

Have you heard of the quote :::Weather for two,pregnancy for one

Erm,since you're not applying for bedspace anymore,where are you then planning on staying?

Timmytimmy:
Lmao. This guy has to be one of the funniest people on the thread.

Lol. Na you and haydot get that crown o.

babysmart:
lwkm
na yesterday I curse...when dey no gimme bedspace
As for 'postponement' ..I was vexed at first but now seems it happened cos of me

I knew you were vexed or how else could one explain you going AWOL from the thread . All pained people refused to comment early on the thread E.G Haydot. Aka 9blast

So you didn't eventually get a bedspace,Eeyah,pele o. You can always come and squat with me o,if you don't mind
. I promise to behave like a deeper life brethren .

babysmart:
Really amused by people's reaction to d postponement



aal izz well sha

Babysmart. Babysmart How market?
Are you sure aal izz well?
Tell me,how many times have you cursed Omole since the latest development?