₦airaland Forum

Monogamy:
This people should stop tarnishing Nigeria image with this drug of a thing..

Tueh!

which one is Ekwelarat ?

Wow! See Godwin at Greenage o. Very calm and gentle. When he left for UK, I knew he would go places. He did well as student in our faculty in UNN. I wish him all the best

C

coolcharm:
Very nonsense post.

Spare the rod an spoil the child.

Proverbs 13:24

Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

don’t mind them. They think I will leave my children to grow as gays

Dannyset:
Positive discipline for better mental and physical health and a happy childhood.

There are no bad children, only bad behaviour.




How to discipline your child the smart and healthy way.

There comes a time when every parent struggles with how best to discipline their child. Whether dealing with a screaming toddler or an angry teen, it can be hard to control your temper. No parent wants to find themselves in such a situation and the bottom line is that shouting and physical violence never help.
Thankfully, there are other, more effective ways and one of them is positive discipline. We consulted Lucie Cluver, Oxford University professor of Child and Family Social Work and mother of two young boys, to explore how the approach can help parents build positive relationships with their children and teach skills like responsibility, cooperation and self-discipline.


Why positive discipline?

“Parents don't want to shout or hit their kids. We do it because we're stressed and don't see another way,” says Professor Cluver.
The evidence is clear: shouting and hitting simply do not work and can do more harm than good in the long run. Repeated shouting and hitting can even adversely impact a child’s entire life. The continued “toxic stress” it creates can lead to a host of negative outcomes like higher chances of school dropout, depression, drug use, suicide and heart disease.
“It’s like saying: here's this medicine, it's not going to help you and it's going to make you sick,” says Professor Cluver. “When we know something doesn't work, that's a pretty good reason to look for a different approach.”

Rather than punishment and what not to do, the positive discipline approach puts an emphasis on developing a healthy relationship with your child and setting expectations around behaviour. The good news for every parent is it works and here’s how you can start putting it into practice:

1. Plan 1-on-1 time

One-on-one time is important for building any good relationship and even more so with your children. “It can be 20 minutes a day. Or even 5 minutes. You can combine it with something like washing dishes together while you sing a song or chatting while you're hanging out the washing,” says Professor Cluver. “What's really important is that you focus on your child. So, you turn your TV off, you turn your phone off, you get to their level and it's you and them.”


2. Praise the positives

As parents we often focus on our children’s bad behaviour and call it out. Children may read this as a way to get your attention, perpetuating poor conduct rather than putting a stop to it.
Children thrive on praise. It makes them feel loved and special. “Watch out for when they're doing something good and praise them, even if that thing is just playing for five minutes with their sibling,” recommends Professor Cluver. “This can encourage good behaviour and reduce the need for discipline.”


3. Set clear expectations

“Telling your child exactly what you want them to do is much more effective than telling them what not to do,” says Professor Cluver. “When you ask a child to not make a mess, or to be good, they don't necessarily understand what they're required to do.” Clear instructions like “Please pick up all of your toys and put them in the box” set a clear expectation and increase the likelihood that they'll do what you’re asking.
“But it's important to set realistic expectations. Asking them to stay quiet for a whole day may not be as manageable as asking for 10 minutes of quiet time while you have a phone call,” says Professor Cluver. “You know what your child is capable of. But if you ask for the impossible, they are going to fail.”

4. Distract creatively

When your child is being difficult, distracting them with a more positive activity can be a useful strategy says Professor Cluver. “When you distract them towards something else – by changing the topic, introducing a game, leading them into another room, or going for a walk, you can successfully divert their energy towards positive behaviour.”

Timing is also crucial. Distraction is also about spotting when things are about to go wrong and taking action. Being mindful of when your child is starting to become fidgety, irritable or annoyed, or when two siblings are eyeing the same toy, can help diffuse a potential situation before it becomes one.


5. Use calm consequences

Part of growing up is learning that if you do something, something can happen as a result. Defining this for your child is a simple process that encourages better behaviour while teaching them about responsibility.

Give your child a chance to do the right thing by explaining the consequences of their bad behaviour. As an example, if you want your child to stop scribbling on the walls, you can tell them to stop or else you will end their play time. This provides them with a warning and an opportunity to change their behaviour.

If they don’t stop, follow through with the consequences calmly and without showing anger, “and give yourself credit for that – it’s not easy!” adds Professor Cluver.
If they do stop, give them lots of praise for it, recommends Professor Cluver. “What you are doing is creating a positive feedback loop for your child. Calm consequences have been shown to be effective for kids to learn about what happens when they behave badly.”

Being consistent is a key factor in positive parenting, which is why following through with the consequences is important. And so is making them realistic. “You can take a teenager's phone away for an hour but taking it away for a week might be difficult to follow through on.”


Engaging with younger children

One-on-one time can be fun – and it’s completely free! “You can copy their expressions, bang spoons against pots, or sing together,” adds Professor Cluver. “There’s amazing research showing that playing with your children boosts their brain development.”


Engaging with older children

Like younger children, teenagers seek praise and want to be thought of as good. One-on-one time is still important to them. “They love it if you dance around the room with them or engage in a conversation about their favourite singer,” says Professor Cluver. “They may not always show it, but they do. And, it's an effective way of building a relationship on their terms.”

While setting expectations, “ask them to help make some of the rules,” suggests Professor Cluver. “Sit them down and try to agree on the household dos and don'ts. They can also help decide what the consequences for unacceptable behaviour will be. Being involved in the process helps them know that you understand they're becoming their own independent beings.”


Advice for parents during the COVID-19 pandemic

The pandemic has brought about sudden and drastic changes in the lives of families with parents directly in the middle of it. Here are some tips that can help parents get through these and any other stressful times:


1. Pause

We all know the stress when we feel our child is being difficult. At moments like these, being present and stepping back is a simple and useful tactic. Hit the “pause button”, as Professor Cluver calls it. “Take five deep breaths, slowly and carefully and you'll notice you are able to respond in a calmer, more considered way. Parents across the world say that just taking that pause is enormously helpful.”


2. Step back

Parents often forget to care for themselves, says Professor Cluver. “Take some time for yourself, such as when the kids are asleep, to do something that makes you feel happy and calm. It's really hard to do all the things right as a parent, when you haven't given yourself a break.”


3. Praise yourself
It’s easy to forget the as tonishing job you do as a parent every day and you should give yourself the credit, advises Professor Cluver. “Each day, maybe while brushing your teeth, take a moment to ask: ‘What was one thing I did really well with my kids today?’ And, just know that you did something great.”

“We might be in and out of isolation, but you are absolutely not alone,” she says. “Millions of parents across the world are all trying and we're all failing sometimes. And then we're trying again. We’ll survive this together.”

https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/how-discipline-your-child-smart-and-healthy-way

and use cane if and when necessary

seunmsg:
Another fabrication from Sahara reporters.

you are blind or dumb abi ?

LilMissFavvy:
The last time I was curious enough to read about the causes of marriages collapsing, infidelity was the number reason, not submission, so this people can continue to spew whatever they wish, the only thing that bothers me is that they never preach LOVE/SUBMISSION hand in hand, as Bible recorded it. Yes, I believe in man loving his wife and wife submitting as Bible mentioned, but what these preachers preach is not complete, I see them as preachers who just want to garner the attention of men with reasons best known to them, my opinion anyway.

which school you go sef ? If you don’t submit, love dies and infidelity rules. If you like, keep deceiving yourself and group of zombies that would join you and scatter their homes and nicodemusly go to beg for reconciliation. Why is likes of Okonjo Iweala, late Dora Akunyili and other heavy women not feminists Only these young up comers, who chose YEYE HUSBANDS and BOYFRIENDS go about displaying their wicked witchcraft as feminisms

Correct beauty with brain

Owoda men

How many lawyers can the region muster to defend their own ? Several dozens of funny lawyers are set to defend Kyari and Efcc looks the other way, arresting the symptoms created by the disease called FG. No stream can be filtered down steam, it must be from up.if they like , they should arrest YAHOO itself. I DONT CARE !!!!! I say it again, I DONT CARE !!!!!

I DONT CARE !!!!!

NazareneMonk:
Some mumu nairalanders will be fighting tribal war over these idiots when in the real Sense they are all one and same. They do things together at night and fight during the day.

All I see today is the poor eating the poor

Racoon:
Buhari, Tinubu and El-Rufai all went to congregate in London seeking healthcare while many Nigerians can't afford such luxury? They can all continue to deceive themselves but Coronavirus will surely do the needful.

and some stupid rutherless fellows are here, clapping for them

Next news please

Firstorderwizard:
And nairaland mods took the joke to frontpage.
"And he looked up and said verily verily I say unto you; when you see threads like this on nairaland frontpage, know ye that nairaland has lost it"

then , find it. Oga Eureka

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar

Professor johnbull
Erudite professor .,...

I dey tell you....and also sometimes in life we also need to package this life...
Package am to attract successful people towards you..even if you nor get....try package yourself
Just because say kanayo spray that money....na im make them dey ball together so

so so true

Carryover wey I carry like trailer,when I was in school , na ehin e go kill herself for? That is no where near the end of the world, my people

Rozcol:
She should also beat the husband as well,I don't know what right a wife has to go beat up a lady who's husband decides to date while letting the husband go scot free.Some sidechicks sef they will just stand like donkey and allow another woman mess them up because of their randy husband instead of fighting the Man's wife back and if possible beat her up for acting silly.Married women please leave your husband girlfriends alone and face your husband, they were on their own when your husband kept pestering them for a relationship and you should take up your anger on your husband and not his girlfriend.

so so true

Oluolad86:

Please pray for me that God should heal me from Pericarditis, I'm tired of swollen stomach and legs. Please pray for me, thanks

be healed in Jesus name

They are doing what in London?

NwaNimo1:
What Tribe was the hacker?

[img]https://media1./images/8449c89b2a5a67af4d98b99a8e403eee/tenor.gif?itemid=21379361[/img]

Quest

heykims:
Make I no lie, I no really understand the write up. Who's with me?

you are on your own

festacman:
Not good at all.

By the way, this Baba Dee post reminds of my late Uncle. While alive, he was active in every association he belonged and sometimes used his resources to do things. He was always the chief organizer in other people's events. He was home every weekend from Onitsha to attend burials and marriages. He was very popular and loved.

Then, he died. We as family members anticipated and planned burial/funeral based on his goodwill and popularity. On the appointed day, not many people turned up as expected. What we heard later was that my late uncle's wife was not a friendly type. And we were like, you are supposed to pay her husband's last respect and not her.

Many people are not just sincere with friendship. That's it.

atleast be there or a call

Pharmtj:
now I get u your point,thanks sir Blessings!!!

Best marriage, my brother

valentineuwakwe:
Source: https://dailypost.ng/2021/08/11/hushpuppi-31-northern-lawyers-set-to-defend-abba-kyari/

i love Kyari from time , I won’t deny it because he is in a mess. I have been of the opinion that any accused should have his day in court, access to fair trial , remain innocent until proven guilty. But this northern lawyers collaboration is just disgusting and annoying . Hope they won’t subvert justice. So Sunday Igboho should be extradited quickly, Nnamdi Kalu should have been quickly extradited before his kidnap and many others. Hope the world is seeing how we are aligning to their hypocrisy here. As long as we have double standard, injustice , there wont be peace . This is a clear case of my thief, your thief

FarahAideed:
Concessionaires are private business men working with bank loans ..they will not have time for emotions oooo, they will be after offsetting the loans they took and making a profit before the concession expires ...The ministry of Aviation will have to find a way to protect it's FAAN staff

Really ? Just knowing that it is concession . The name FEDERAL Airport Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) got me thinking that it is a full federal agency

FarahAideed:
So the govt should keep paying them for doing nothing? Don't deceive yourself only a few will absorbed by the concessionaire and the rest laid off ..that's how it works

tell me what the senator representing your zone has been doing. Have you sacked him ? Do you want me to ask you what mr presid…. has been doing or didn’t you even re-elect him ?

Rest in peace sir

ignis:
Why EFCC no arrest Abba Kyari all this while?

He is a sacred cow. Double standard

Wventuop:
Wahala

it is very bad . I am scared. Is this generation we will be leaving behind? Meanwhile, how can you display the faces of those you are still ALLEGING to have committed a crime?

Famocious:
He's fucking human like any other person.. He's entitled to get sick or require a surgery



Tinubu is free to aspire to get to any position he legitimately desires..

go and sit down, Oshodi apc card carrying member. Just for what you eat and what you have been eating from him. What stops you from aspiring or is your own head half? Let him aspire to be well , that is what matters now

NOC1:
Another subject of discussion.

It is hypocrisy for me to have Ibori or the Kalu’s as my leaders and abuse Tinubu

in mr macaroni’s voice , are you , are you, are you normal ? What has kalu and ibori to do with an aged sick man in London? Are they booked for surgery too ?