Liljboy's Posts
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 Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:57pm On Feb 04, 2013 |
Akpors in Court. Judge: You are been charged for having an affair with another man's wife, how do you plead? Akpors: Not Guilty, My lord Judge: But here are video and picture evidence with me, how come you're not guilty? . . . . . . . . . . . Akpors: Because Love is not a crime my Lord. |
| Jokes Etc › Valentine Trade By Barter - All The Guys Must See This by liljboy(op): 2:51pm On Feb 04, 2013 |
How can a girl send you boxers & expect a BB? - A tie & expect Brazilian hair? - Singlet & expect iPad 2? - Cufflinks & expect BB Porsche of 450k? Or nothing at all & expect an expensive dinner at KFC or Chicken Republic? Well, The Nigerian Association of Boyfriends (NAB) says it should be trade by barter this Val Oooh. - Boxers should be exchanged with a G-string. - Singlet should be exchanged with a Bra. -If she gives you roll-on, buy her "Miss Paris". -She gives you cufflinks, give her rubber band to tie her natural hair. -If she shows up at your door empty- handed, tune your Tv to NTA or STV for her to watch. Don't let her watch your subscribed cable (no free thing). -If she asks for an expensive dinner, take her to an expensive night vigil. MFM or CAC to be precise. -She gives you a flower, you sef give her igneous rock from Olumo(all na nature), Happy Val in advance. 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:51pm On Feb 04, 2013 |
Akpos who was an aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilot's cockpit and saw a book entitled, “How to fly an aeroplane for beginners, Vol. 1 ". He opened the first page which said; "To start the engine, press the red button". He did so and the airplane engine started! He was pleased and opened the next page, "To set airplane moving, press blue button". He did so and the plane started moving at an amazing speed! He wanted to fly, he opened the 3rd page which said; "To let airplane fly, please press the green button". He did so and the plane started flying!!! He was so happy After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land. He opened to the 4th page. The 4th page said, "To learn how to land a plane, please watch out for Volume 2." !!! 2 Likes |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:55pm On Feb 01, 2013 |
Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of Good Akpors: Bad Interviewer: Come Akpors: Go Interviewer: Ugly Akpors: Fine Interviewer: You are wrong! Akpors: you are right! Interviewer: Shut up! Akpors: Keep talking! Interviewer: Ok,now stop all that. Akpors: Ok,now carry on all that. Interviewer: Get out! Akpors: Come in! Interviewer: Oh,my God! Akpors: Oh,my Devil! Interviewer: You are Rejected! Akpors: I’m selected! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:48pm On Feb 01, 2013 |
Little Akpors was in his math's class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $20," the teacher began,"And you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?" "An orgy," Akpors answered. |
| Jokes Etc › Church Wahala In 9ja by liljboy(op): 12:36pm On Jan 22, 2013 |
I went to WARRI recently if u see d name of churches, Ha! My broda even Satan sef dey fear. Make i yarn una: u will see somtin like.. 1. Nak ur pako 4 Satan head Ministrial Church of Fire. 2. Satan ur own don kpafuka evangelical ministry. 3. Operation cary devil nack 4 ground Bible ministry. 5. The Atomic Bomb Bible Brigadial Barack Ministry. AKA shoot d devil make im eye clear. 6. Satan Watin we do u Evangelical church of God Aka Satan leave us jeje. 7. Operation No luk uche Face Biblical Church of Christ. Aka Slap satan face ministry. 8. Pay ur Tithe and offerin church of God. AKApay ur tithe and win generator gospeler. 9. SATAN If u try me u go hear ween Prayer ministry. 10. Satan chop make i chop Bible Assembly. Aka we no dey find Satan trouble ministry. I was shock beyond recognitn when i saw dis name. Hahahahaha just scrol down... . . . . . . . . , Boko Haram Prayer Ministry Aka Devil u go fear fear. Adon die!!!! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 12:35pm On Jan 22, 2013 |
AKPORS IS WICKED A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and killed everyone. Upon arrival in heaven, God says "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and says "I wish to be beautiful." God grants her wish. The next person can’t decide on what to wish for so ends up wishing for the same thing. At this point Akpors at the very back of the line starts to laugh. The next couple of people make their wish to become beautiful and Akpors at the end laughs even louder.One after another the people wish the same thing and the closer God gets to the end of the line, the harder Akpors laughs. When God finally reaches him, he asks "What is your wish my son?" Akpors says, "Make them all ugly again!" 3 Likes |
| Literature › Re: All About "JAMES HADLEY CHASE" Novels #ones You'v Read & Experiences by liljboy(op): 1:26am On Jan 21, 2013 |
Meklex: jboy. you for inform us say your papa na JHC, abeg I need, any ebook you have on those aforementioned novels and any other books you can recommend, my email, Alexmek92@yahoo.comi'll see what i can do for u bro |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Before Before by liljboy(op): 3:28pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
before before i miss seeing BINGBAGBO1 in d street. now hz at the zoo. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Before Before by liljboy(op): 3:26pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
BINGBAGBO1: before before : lil boy used to be a human being........lmao u no well |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:46pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
Akpors sat in a bar and was very moody.?Soni goes over and asks; Akpors, wetin happen? A very sad looking Akpors replied: I borrow musa N2million to do facial surgery, and now I no fit recognize am to collect my money back. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:42pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
PHONE RINGS!! Chichi : hello Akpos :my love how are you doing? Chichi: am fine. Akpos :will you be less bzy by weekend to come to my house? Chichi :am sorry love I can't make it because I will be attending my aunty's wedding and the next day is de thanks giving in church,am so occupied. Akpos :i wanted to take you out for shopping to surprise you with blackberrytorch and the brazilianhair u've been askin for. Chichi :i will be coming and i may even spend a weekend if u want my love. Akpos :what about the wedding? Chichi :which wedding? I was just joking. Akpos :me too love! How Many Like For Akpos  8 Likes |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:41pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
The Hot Girl next to AKPOS in class fell asleep.. AKPOS immediately fell asleep too so he can tell his friends he slept with her |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:39pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
Teacher: Akpors, recite A-Z and what each alphabet stand for.. Akpors: A for-Adobe B for-bluetooth C for-chat D for-download E for-email F for-facebook G for-google H for-hotmail I for-iphone J for-Java K for-kingston L for-laptop M for-messenger N for-NOKIA O for-outlook P for-print Q for-QuickTime R for-RAM S for-Server T for-Touch Screen U for-U S B V for-Version W for-wifi1 X for-xbox360 Y for-YouTube Help akpors with `Z'.. ok ZINOX 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:36pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
Akpors and his three friends where talking about their wives, The first guy said "when my wife was pregnant she read, the novel: the 2 cities and gave birth 2 twins". The second guy said, his wife read the 3 musketeers and gave birth 2 triplet. Akpors stood up shouting like a mad man and started running heading home when asked why? he then said "my wife is pregnant and she's reading alibaba and the 40 thieves wen i left home!" 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:35pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
Akpors and musa were caught in an Northern Country, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer. They were arrested and taken to the Sheik's palace for questioning and judgment. Akpors lied that musa smuggled and forced him to drink the beer!! Both were initially given a death sentence but, as it was a national holiday, the sheik decided they should be released after some lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheik said, "It's my first wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you 2 wishes before your whipping, but you cannot wish not to be whipped!" Akpors thought for a second then said: "Please tie two pillows to my back before whipping." And my second wish is that you flog me only 20 strokes of the whip. He was whipped, and luckily for him, the pillows helped to make the pain of the whip lesser. musa saw this; thought for a second, then said: "Thank you, most royal and merciful highness for the wishes. My first wish is to receive 100 lashes with the strongest, toughest whip available." "If you so desire," Akpors laughed and thought musa was a fool... The sheik replied with a puzzled look on his face..., " and your second wish?" musa replies: "Tie Akpors to my back...." Akpors fainted. 4 Likes |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:33pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
musa a literature teacher was in a class teaching, wen he finish with the subject he was teaching, he asked: can anyone in d class tell us a very touchin story? Immediately musa d teacher completed his words, akpors stood up and said: i sir! D teacher said go on akpors Akpors: one day, a boyfriend and his girlfrnd where 2geda, d boy touch his gf and d grl touch her bf. D boy touch d grl again and d grl touch d boy again and they started touching each oda until dey were tired. Isn't dat a touchin story? Akpors asked. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:30pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
Akpors goes off to Unilag. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He call his father at home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Unilag that will teach our dog, monkey-boy how to talk!" "That's amazing," his Dad says . "How do I get Monkey-boy into the program?" Akpors smiling said... "Just send him down here with N10,000" Young Akpors says. "I'll get him in the course dad." So, his father sends the dog and N10,000. About two weeks to end the semester, the money again runs out. Akpors calls home again. "So how's Monkey-boy(the dog name is monkey- boy) doing son?" his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!" "Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get monkey-boy in that program?" Akpors smiling said "Just send N20,000, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But our hero (Akpors) has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's monkey-boy? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, monkey-boy was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Punch Newspaper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead Ekaette who lives in town?" The father exclaimed,"I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!" |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:26pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
Some journalist were interviewing children across the world on what they would like to become when they GROW up The first person was an Indian Boy. What will you like to become when you grow up , he answered - I wud like to be a software engineer second Boy from America - I wud like to be a Neurosurgeon Boy from china - I would like to become a Pilot .....the interview continue like that until they got to akpors from Nigeria. Interviewer: Akpors why ain't you talking, what would you like to become when you grow up, Akpors anwered -Person wey never chop dey GROW? give me food abeg!!! 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:21pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
ibro laughing behind Akpors at the ATM machine. I've seen ur Password. Akpors asked; what is it ? Ibro: its 4 star **** . Akpors: Hahahahhahhahahhahahah. You are such a fool. Well it is 3523 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Before Before by liljboy(op): 2:21pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
BEFORE BEFORE: I used to be a Jambite but am now a done deal. BEFORE BEFORE: wearing different colours of clothes and accessories were called colour riot, nowadays it's called colour blocking. Before Before: Church use to be Holy place nowadays na Swag zone. BEFORE BEFORE: We Took Girls Who Are Pregnant As Bad Kids, Forgotten That There's Abortion That Smart Bad Girls Do. BEFORE BEFORE: women respected themselves, Nowadays they will spread their legs far wide apart for anything that looks like blackberry. BEFORE BEFORE: Nigerians used to see terrorists in the news on CNN but nowadays BOKO HARAM terrorize the PEOPLE" BEFORE BEFORE: RuggedMan& 2shotz were very HOT on the MIC, Nowadays no one wants to even listen to what they gat to rap. BEFORE BEFORE: parents give their children to responsible person 4 marriage but now they just give them away to the highest bidder BEFORE BEFORE: Arsenal used to play d most attractive football, but now ehn, na hypertension o. ADD URS 1 Like |
| Music/Radio › Re: Share The Most Emotional Songs You Ever Heard by liljboy(op): 2:15pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
akon - ghetto, lonely joe - i believe in you dolly parton- i will always love you( the first n best, not all this copyrights around) j d souther- you are only lonely dr hook - sharing the night leo sayern- when i need you cyndy lauper- time after time psquare- senorita akon ft tpain - i cant wait |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:15pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
Akpors got a message from his girl friend on his birthday ''Message Reads ''HBD Boo....LLNP, LYSM TTYL'' Akpors provoked and called her phone ''Kate what is the meaning of HBD LLNP and Those rubbish.... Kate replied Haaa Akpors don't tell me you are this dumb.....and local Oh My Gooosh,you don't even know the meaning of HBD and all that Mtchwwwwww. Well, HBD means ''Happy Birthday'',LLNP means ''LongIife Nd prosperity'' LYSM means "Love You so much" and TTYL means "Talk to you later" dumbass. Akpors (angrily ends the call and sent her a text message 2mins later, Message reads,TFY Kate called immediately, Akpors what is the meaning of TFY? Akpors answered Oh u don't even know common TFY After much laugh Akpors replied TFY means: "Thunder fire you 2 Likes |
| Literature › Re: All About "JAMES HADLEY CHASE" Novels #ones You'v Read & Experiences by liljboy(op): 2:13pm On Jan 19, 2013*. Modified: 4:02pm On Jul 10, 2022 |
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| Jokes Etc › Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(op): 2:13pm On Jan 19, 2013 |
Teacher: If u have 10 doughnuts and someones asks for 2, how many do u have left? Akpors: 10 doughnuts. Teacher (understanding how naughty Akpors could be): Well what if the person forcefully takes 2 doughnuts, what do u have left. Akpors: 10 DOUGHNUTS AND 1 DEAD BODY! 2 Likes |
| Music/Radio › Re: Share The Most Emotional Songs You Ever Heard by liljboy(op): 2:54pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
Psquare- senorita |
| Music/Radio › Re: Share The Most Emotional Songs You Ever Heard by liljboy(op): 6:57pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
HumbledbYGrace: Guys have u realised that most songs, especially those that mostly brings us to tears or extremely happy have a story to go with?i so much agree with you. Try listenin to slaughter house ft fat joe- goodbye |
| Music/Radio › Re: Share The Most Emotional Songs You Ever Heard by liljboy(op): 11:33am On Jan 16, 2013 |
Whitney houston ft akon- like i never left michael bolton- lean on me don williams- we should be together dolly parton- heartbreaker sunny nneji- prisoner of love dolly parton julio eglesias- when u tell me that you love me madona ft timberlake- across the sky madona- frozen whitney houston- hold me in your arms tonight rihana- te amo 1 Like |
| Music/Radio › Re: Share The Most Emotional Songs You Ever Heard by liljboy(op): 4:34am On Jan 16, 2013 |
#Katy perry- the one that got away(got me in tears d day i 1st watched d video, if u have'nt, try n watch it) #everly brothers- take a message to mary(every body is mentioning this sonq bt listen to this track by them too) #everly brothers- DREAM(best sonq by the brothers) |
| Music/Radio › Re: Share The Most Emotional Songs You Ever Heard by liljboy(op): 2:10am On Jan 16, 2013 |
Nsonaso: Celine Dion songs |
| Music/Radio › Re: Share The Most Emotional Songs You Ever Heard by liljboy(op): 2:02am On Jan 16, 2013 |
toskaly: One Night, not long nightgo check out d lyrics men... I dont need to start dragging with you |
| Music/Radio › Re: Share The Most Emotional Songs You Ever Heard by liljboy(op): 1:59am On Jan 16, 2013 |
Abba.- one of us avril lavigne- i'm with you boys2men- water runs dry tony braxton- spanish guiter celine- tell him(for all this forming gals) cyndi lauper- loving you donell jones- this love emilia- big world(sweet) |
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