₦airaland Forum

For the MAN OF THE MATCH goes to DANI ALVES while the flop goes to that idiot called Sanchez (the guy fall hands well, the same type of ball wey "world best" carry score)

Debroslink: MAMAGEE IS NOT A MADRID FAN. SHE'S JUST RONALDO'S C.OCK SUCKER. SHE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT FOOTBALL.

i thought as much. Her mates don resume thier night 'duties'

caukerzee: the only thing that saved zalatan from being the flop of the match was his goal.

you dey see road my man

caukerzee: You no lie. But even messi at his below best contributes to the game with a goal or an assist.

get a life fool, messi had an injury. And his goal was the best in that match.

Mama-gee grap a pic of ronaldo, finger yourself until you fall asleep. Leave this thread idd

Iykesmooth: Dont involve madrid into dis cos madrid trumps all, even d almighty barca is no match and someone thinks gala.......whatever stands a chance? I reserve my comments.

has madrid ever played barca 5-0? NO! But we have, even with the stupid ronaldo and mourinho

One more thing before this stupid individuals will start ranting.. Where is chelsea or man u? Will you people play tomorrow? NO!! SO YALL SHOULD SHUT THE EFF UP

Barca:: Super team.
Man U:: Super manager.
Madrid:: Super players.
Man city:: Super squad.
Chelsea:: Super owner.
PSG: super men
JUVENTUS: Super oLD MEN
QPR: super looser
.
.
.
.
.
.
Arsenal:: Super-market
.
Continue the fun, add yours.

mikuz: Lilcute vs Edwards . . . signal lemme set it up . . .

thanks homie

Admin please set up a thread for #Lljcute vs Edwards#. 5bars diss.

e-Iceberg:
c'mon. . .some dopeheads gotta be up fo battle, who is

am available

I ACCEPT 5BARS. I battle on facebook. RHYME AND PATTERN. Ask bout "Lljcute". Dont ask if am a newbie cos ah wont entertain that question.

Joke: AKPORS and White.
AKPORS and a white guy
were sitting in the park,
the
white man had a pet
monkey
and AKPORS is selling
bananas, AKPORS said
‘Mr. Can u look after my
bananas, i’m
goin to the
toilet”,” Yeah sure, go
ahead” said the white
man.
When AKPORS came he
found his bananas has
gone and
asked “where are my
bananas” the
white man
pointed to the monkey
and
said “ask ur
brother” :O,AKPORS
chilled and sat
down. Few minutes
later the
white man ask”can u
watch my
monkey I’m going to
the
toilet” ,”oh yeah sure!”
said
AKPORS. When the
white man came back
he
found his monkey dead
and
exclaim “what
happened here?”
AKPORS replied ”
don’t get involved pls ,
it’s a family matter”

Girl: Honey??
Akpors: Yes, sweety??
Girl: Honey, i like this
shoe a lot but i forgot
my wallet at home,
could you plz give me
N5,000 to buy it?
Akpors: There is no Atm
close here but take this
N100, go home and bring
your wallet.
.
.
Question:
Is akpors=
.
1)Economical.
2)Sharp minded.
3)Wicked.
4)Reasonable. 5)Stingy.
6)Genious
7)Selfish silly 9)Foolish
10.Wise ??

Akpors saw a notice
board in the
middle of a river, he
tried to read
it, but couldn't, so he
swam to the
board in the middle of
the river
and read "DANGER
CROCODILES
INSIDE, PLEASE DON'T
SWIM"..... *he's now saying hz last prayer*

Akpors Daughter
Returns
Home After 30 Years.
Akpors (Angry): “Where
The Hell Have You Been
All This Years?”
Daughter: “I Was
Working AsA Prostitute
In The
Vietnam”
Akpors: “What? Get Out
Of My House You LovePeddler,
I Don’t Want To See
Your Face Again”
Daughter (Crying):
“Before I Go
Dad, I Came To Give
You
A $5 Million Cheque, And
Here Is A $1million For
My Brother Rukewa . I
Had Built
A Big House For You In
The
Northern Surburbs With
Everything In It
Including A Ferarri And A
Bugatti. Bye Dad”
Akpors (Smiling): “What
Kind of Work You Said
You Where
Doing” Daughter
(Crying Out Loud):“A
Prostitute Dad”
Father: “Come And Give
Daddy A Big Hug, I
Thought You Said You
WhereA
”Prosecuter"
Describe Akpos In One
Word

Akpors had a dream
that he got Robbed and
murdered.. The next day
he closed his bank
account.. And his friend
Johnny asked why...
Akpors replied: The
Bank Slogan says
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
."We Make your Dreams
come true''
What is your advice to
Mr akpors?

Discussion b/w Akpos
and Ekaite on Phone this
morning around 8:03am.
.
Akpos who want Ekaite
to come around this
evening..
Here's their conversation
.
Akpos- Hello Honey!
Ekaite- Hello!
Akpos- How was your
night
Ekaite- Splendid
Akpos- Wow! Dats gud, I will like you to
come around this
evening
Ekaite- Hey honey... I am
preparing for My Friends
Traditional Marriage n am going bak 2 school
frm dia.
Akpos- Do u remeber
what i promised you...
Ekaite- Wat?
Akpos- I promised you
the new BlackBerry®
Z10™.. And I
have bought it for you...
Ekaite- Hey... Akposkey...
Dats y i Luv u... Dont
worry let me pack my
tins and come
over....hope u r at home
Akpos- Yes! But wat
about ur friends
traditional marriage...
Ekaite- Dont worry
(laughs) April fool...
.
.
.
After the "whole show" ekaite requests for the phone...
Akpos- Hahahahaha... D
BB na also April fool.....

A well known Pastor
Tebogo and a pretty
sister were enjoying
themselves under the
tree.
They were doing it not
knowing that Akpors
was on the tree hiding
and smoking,after the
act the sister asked the
Pastor that did he use
any protection or what
The pastor said No and
asked why
The girl said that she
was assuming she
might get pregnant and
who is gonna take care
of the baby
The pastor replied:Lets
leave it to the one
above.
Suddenly Akpors
jumped down and
shouted.
Are you crazy?leave it
to who?me?

Akpos JAMB
EXAMINATION....
Fill in the gap Akpos
JAMB examination
questions:
1.Inside Jackie Chan &
jet Li who go beat?.........
2.Inside indomie &
macaroni,which 1 sweet
pass?.........
3.Inside girls &
boys,who do amebo
pass?.......
4.Inside Mama & Papa
style & 4rm back,which
1 sweet pass?.......
5.Inside fowl &
goat,who get voice
pass?.......
6.Inside Ogboni &
Illuminati,which 1 sweet
to join pass?......
7.No difference btw
agbero & police because d
both of them they
collect money 4 bus
stop & they wear
uniform.......True or
false?
8.Everybody don thief
b4......True or false?
9.Inside Politician &
yahoo boyz,who girls
follow pass?.......
10.Finally,Inside me wey
write dis thing & U wey
dey read am,who no get
work?......

Two ladies were
standing at the
club. One was ugly and
the other
was beautiful.
While they were
standing, there came
akpors and said to the ugly
girl, " Hello "
ugly Girl: Hi
akpors: Do you
wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excitedly)
akpors: Go dance I want to
speak to
your friend

Teacher : Who is the
President of Iraq ?
Akpors : I don't know
Miss
Teacher : You need to
focus more on
your studies.
Akpors : Please Miss, can
I ask a question ?
Teacher : Yes.
Akpors : Do U know
Angela ?
Teacher : No?
Akpors: do u know
grace, princess and
sandra
Teacher: No, why?
Akpors: You need to
focus more on
your husband!
hit like if u get it

A TEACHER ONCE ASKED
AKPOS....
TEACHER: Don't steal,
don't lie, don't cheat,
don't sell drugs. Can
someone tell us why
we shouldn't do these
things?
AKPOS: Because the
government hates
competition!
TRUE OR FALSE

General Sam has been
monitorin d movement
of his
only daughter recently. In
fact, he first picks
her calls to confirm d identity
of d caller
before handin over d phone
to her after
thorough screening. But on
one faithful day,
her
boyfriend akpors called and
General picked d
call as usual. Watch
out !
General: Hello! May i know
you? Caller
(akkpors): sorri i want to
speak wit Joy sir.
General: i said who r u nd
wht for?
caller (akpors hmmm (after
he understood d
situation @ hand),
Okay Sir, i am FRANK EDOHO
from WHO WANTS
TO BE A MILLIONAIRE. Joy's
friends is presently
on hot seat and needs
her help to answer a
question for 2Million
Naira. So the next
voice you hear after is hers,
the time starts
now.......
General: ooh am very sorry!!!
Joy! ,Joy!! Pls take ur phone
ur friend needs ur
help........... .
caller akpors: The question
is when are you
coming Tomorrow?
A. Morning,
B. Afternoon,
C.Evening,
D. Night.
Joy: D.Night.
caller (akpors Are you sure?
Final answer?....
Joy: yes am very sure!

At a Sunday School
Class one Sunday
morning,after an
interesting topic, the
teacher
asked,"Any Question?"
Akpos looking
puzzled,raised his hand..
Akpos: U said the
children of Israel
escaped
from Egypt?
Teacher: Yes
Akpos: U said the
children of Israel also
brought down the walls
of Jericho?
Teacher: Yes.
Akpos: U also said that
the children of Israel
also crossed the Red
Sea?
Teacher: Yes Akpos!
What exactly is your
question?
Akpos: When the
children of Israel were
doing all this, where
exactly were the adults
of
Israel?

With time, this is how our children may end up learning the alphabets:

A- Apple
B- Blakberry
C- Chatting
D- Download
E- E-mail
F- Facebook
G- Google
H- Hotmail
I- iTunes
J- Java
K- Kapersky
L- Laptop
M- Microsoft
N- Nintendo
O- Opera mini
P- Playstation
Q- Quicktime
R- Rocket talk
S- Skype
T- Twitter
U- Urban Social
V- Vconnect
W- Wikipedia
X- Xtra-time
Y- Yahoo
z- zuma

After reading very well for his exams, akpos ended up failing. When the techer confronted him, here is what ensued between them.
.
.
Techer: akpos why did you end up writing "two letter" words in all your scripts?
.
Akpos: madam it was not my fault, my parents said i should write "VERY WELL" if i wanted to pass.