₦airaland Forum

i. Just smiled and ans
red fried rice... lwkmdho nifeseun u no go kill me abeg

lordmario:
Mine was the first day I cooked jollof rice which turned out to be jonnof nice....
Back then I just started catering work(with a frnd who is a pro) and I wanted to show my peeps at home that I can cook jollof rice very well. Well I sha pack all d ingredient as I see my padi do am for party, na so I pour pepper full am sha in short.... And the good part was the groundnut oil that settled at d base of the pot is enough to fry one cow... But am glad I did sha cos my grandma later taught me how to cook it very well

hahahahahahahajahahahahajahshshshah

Lwkmd this one sha.......
me and my uncle came back late one day, you know as abuja dey be na..... na so we enter kitchen to prepare noodles, my uncle just dey download pepper to the server, I was like , UNC its too mush na, but en just bone...... well, na when en come dish the thing for tray, funny enough it was only two of us..... chai!!!!!! that day I ate the pepper for that whole year in one day, as we dey chop for air condition, na so SWEAT dey come out for my uncle head cos he use to have those kinda stone cold i-hate-hairs-on-my-head laugh no gree me that day, if you take one spoon , you go drink one glass of water.... funny enough we no later finish the thing na him still give me money I go buy all those whitish chalk-like medicine...... na so we shun prescription EN DRINK HALF OF THE BOTTLE, I FINISH THE OTHER....na for midnight we come dey visit the toilet one after the other.
#that night wasn't funny sha until now lwkmd

ademega:
I remember trying out coconut rice for my friends back then on school just because we saw free coconut . I cooked the coconut water ,the chaft ,the water with the rice . at the end of the day we Were going to the toilet every five minutes before the school clinic came to our rescure . that was the end of ordinary coconut eating for my friends let alone with rice .
But I later leant it and I cook it for my family now every Sunday

lol my bro did same ooooo that guy can't cook faaaa damn I wonder how he cooks at school? well pikkin no fine en mama say na world best....... but come to think of it, the coconut rice make sense with the chaft ooooo

kpofkpof:
In 1994 to be precise, my cousin and I were asked to prepare Rice n Beans combo for the whole house.

To cut the long story short, the beans was highly undercooked and strong that you would think u were eating rice and stone

When we realised this, we were now tasked with secretly separating the beans from the rice for every plate we dished

Everyone ate 'jollof rice' while my cousin and I tried eating d beans but couldn't and we went to bed hungry!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lwkmd I can only imagine the separation of goats from sheeps hahahaha. I dey enter kitchen wella joor, even tho my female folks still doubt it but within me I no say girl or my wife no go carry cooking do shakara for me

another one......


lol
e get one crack village girl... I mean VILL to the AGE (i no go talk the side sha lol). she come town o, she never cook noodle before , me I no know oooo. she cook the thing without the seasoning oooo, the thing was tasteless na so the girl go buy Maggi FOUR put inside..... who does that ?

lwkmd see comments na



my guy own was that he said he was so hungry that night that he didn't know when he poured detergent in place of salt inside the rice because he had them in the same type of container without labelling it....... come see as foam dey commot for the chow na..... funny part of it was that the guy talk say en later manage the rice chop joor cos it was already late in the night and per say na en last card en carry coordinate the chow LMAO

front page

DuchessLily:
Nice! This list sure makes sense , even though its meant for guys

OP hope I can share off Nland

sure

2. Never never rape a woman. You are a man not
a beast. Rape comes with grave consequences.
Real men don’t rape.
3. Do not take advantage of the little girls on
your street who call you brother. Real men
respect themselves! this one is so so important....... never rape and NEVER take advantage of all those small small girls wey dey come buy something for u, wey dey run other errands, wey dey tell u brother goodevening...... odikwa very risky

Dnarvaez:
Pls lets stop fooling ourselves
Boko harams are just like a plague to us. We will always have them here unless those our bad-egged leaders sponsoring them are put in their right place where they belong

you've got a point there

[quote author=SagePerv post=31776163][color=maroon]I don't have time for lice[/color]
and the ones in your hair?

lamako:
sure?

didn't you see the link?.... or are you allergic to things written in blue?

blessedvisky:
lol. who is gonna be our moses??

the MODs ...... FP

Soldiers from Niger and Chad have taken the
Nigerian town of Damasak from Boko Haram,
another victory in a regional campaign to
wrest back control of swaths of northeastern
Nigeria from the armed group.
Damasak, a few kilometres over the border
from Niger, was taken from Boko Haram's
control over the weekend, a spokesman for
Niger's army, Colonel Michel Ledru, said on
Wednesday.
In heavy fighting, 228 rebel fighters were
killed and one soldier from Niger died, Ledru
said. Vehicles and motor cycles riddled with
bullets littered the streets.
An Associated Press photographer in the
northeastern town said it was largely
deserted of civilians.
Four people, including an old man, came onto
the street to wave at a convoy among 2,000
troops from Niger and Chad in the town.
There were still signs of the town's
occupation by the rebels. Their writings were
scrawled on every wall and the groups' black
and white flag still flew above some buildings.
A group of Chadian troops transferred
weapons confiscated from Boko Haram into a
pick-up truck truck. They were then taken to
helicopters for transport to Niger.
The weapons included AK47 assault rifles and
50-calibre guns, rocket-propelled grenades
and mortar shells.
The Nigerian armed group seized Damasak
with little resistance on November 24, when
residents reported that the rebels drove in
flinging firebombs and improvised explosive
devices.
Boko Haram has been fighting a six-year
insurgency to create an Islamic state and had
taken control of large parts of Nigeria's
northeast during the past year.

http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2015/03/niger-chad-troops-nigeria-town-boko-haram-150319015134021.html

blessedvisky:
booked

that's if we make it to the promised land

1. The siren.
Sirens are those amazing and enticing people
who come into your business and completely
distract you. More than anyone else, these
people have a way of stealing your focus and
throwing your efforts off track.
A lot of promising futures have been
sacrificed to sirens. Some people have sold
their businesses for way less than they are
worth and others have given up on their
businesses to chase a get-rich-quick scheme
than some sirens pitched them. Don’t let this
happen to you. Don’t let an amazing person
make you forget that you and your business
have something amazing to offer the world,
too.
2. The goat.
Goats are those wildly charismatic, big-
talking and full-of-luck people who seem to
get away with everything. These people have
many strengths.
The problem is that they use their strengths
in devious ways. Goats have little ambition
beyond convincing others to make bad
decisions. If you find yourself constantly
making bad business decisions every time
you’re around someone in particular, it’s time
to cut that person out of your business.
3. The elephant.
An elephant never forgets. Elephants are
those people in your business who never let
you live down past mistakes. They never let
you live down who you used to be or how
many times you’ve messed up.
Don’t let an elephant pull you back into the
past. Everyone fails, especially entrepreneurs.
If you’ve failed, it means you’ve learned. So
stay on track and keep moving forward.
4. The hater.
Haters are people who want to be on top but
don’t want to work to get there. Instead, they
want to push everyone else around them down
so it will seem like they’re on top.
Haters are losers but they also can serve as a
source of motivation in a strange way. Don’t
let haters into your business but use them as
motivation to make your business as strong as
possible.
5. The narcissist.
Narcissists are talented people who are too
consumed with themselves to take action.
They’re especially bad at taking team-
oriented action.
A narcissist might even encourage you to put
the image of your business over its
reputation. This is always bad idea. When
starting a business, it’s best to be
transparent and authentic. Don’t try to make
things seem bigger than they are and avoid
trying to be something you’re not. Instead, be
real. Keep narcissists out of your startup and
stay focused on your reputation, not your
image.
6. The nemesis.
When you’re starting a business, sometimes
you’ll have to work with someone whom you
can’t stand and who can’t stand you. If you’re
not careful, this can become a major
distraction.
Try to realize that what you don’t like about
a nemesis is probably something you don’t like
about yourself or it’s something that you like
too much about yourself. Either way,
something is at odds with your identity and
the only way to fix it is to turn the mirror on
yourself, not the nemesis.
Your adversary can be your advisor in a way.
If you bring a nemesis into your startup, use
this person to learn about yourself. Once you
do this, he or she won’t be your nemesis
anymore.
7. The Ares.
Ares is the Greek god of war. Ares-type
people love conflict. They are addicted to
drama and winning at all costs, even if there’s
nothing to be won. Any time spent trying to
correct or even understand an Ares is a waste
of time. You are better off ignoring these
people and keeping them out of your business
altogether.
8. The Dionysus.
Dionysus is the Greek god of wine, parties
and pleasure. Dionysus sorts are pleasure
seekers who have very little patience for
anything other than instant gratification.
Be careful when letting these people into your
business because base pleasure of any kind is
both addictive and time-consuming. It’s
important to have friends and have fun, but
you should never sacrifice your startup to a
string of late nights.
9. The black cat.
Some people can walk into a business and
light it up. Others walk in and kill it. Black
cats are the latter. They are the people who
seem to have a dark cloud following them
everywhere they go.
These people are unlucky, negative and always
depressed. Don’t feel bad for these people.
Odds are, they like sitting in the pits. They
like the attention it gives them. So, let them
sit. Just make sure they’re sitting outside
your business.
10. The fat cat.
Fat cats are those people who will come into
your business, throw a bunch of money around
and offer you the world. Whether these
people are angel investors or venture
capitalists from top firms, don’t let their
flash or their cash distract you from the
fact that they want to control your company
and make money off you.
Be very careful with whom give your business
to. You didn’t work this hard to watch your
brand and reputation go down in flames at
the paws of some fat cat who is now calling
the shots.