₦airaland Forum

joseph1832:
Ma? Hmm. Ever heard of anagram poem before?

Hehe. You still ink around in these your weird styles.

joseph1832:
Fortunately, I still do. What else is there to do aside flirting?...

It's killing me. It's very ironical - I remember telling someone that a schedule can't take the pen from one if they love poetry well enough. Lol

My brothers, na Lagos hustle. Cc: donifez e383 muhdg

God! Joseph, you still write.

Wow! Yuzjet, jigsawkillah and donifez, this is awesome.

Nubian113:
I went undercover,
In a hope to be left undiscovered,
I was so shocked to discover,
My soul under these covers.
Who is this intruder,
Unwelcome intruder

Let me try to analyze the plot of this poem stanza by stanza if I can get it right. Lol. You ran from the world in a bid not to be hurt but you were shocked when you realized how far you had run. While you were lost in gloom over what you just discovered, a stranger appears.

Are ye lost I ask,
TI have a task it replies.[/quotes]

The stranger didn't appear by accident; he was seeking you.


[quote]You must be a man, a question with a question,
You must be a man.
I have no strength, I have no voice, I have no mind, Must I be a man?
A woman I announce,
I am fearless in the face of fear,
I laugh at my own tears,
I hide when daddy's near,
Yes I must be a woman

.

The stranger ignorantly assumes you to be a man (he met you in a dark room and where he couldn't see your natural features and wore ear protectors too). You prove him wrong by informing him of your weaknesses. You inform him of how you lack a voice and a mind and announce that you are a woman.

No!

You ignorantly assume him to be a man and he informs you of some his features and you assume him to be a woman. Then he let's you know more, laughs in your face and sarcastically says he's a woman, truly.

A child? I shiver,
I speak but the truth,
In my silence I scream,
Of your blood I survive,
Yes I must be a child.

You're back on your guessing spree and you're scared now, probably from his laughs and you call him a child. But he let's you know more about him and tells you things too evil to be birthed from the hands of children.

You mock me I say,
Be gone you fool,
A tool you seek,
To scream ye yearn,
I Have your grief,
if Ye dare to leave!!

You're frustrated and angry at him already. You tell him to leave. (The second part of this stanza is unclear yet.)
Oh? He's held you captive?

Waaaaat! I swear by HE who's hand I lay my soul,
I will call on my ancestors and call all my clan's men,
I'll signal to our tribe's men and...

You try to scare him.

Hahahaha I laugh at your ignorance.

But he laughs it off.

Hear me young man,
Young girl, and ol woman,

Silence my child,
I have but lessons to teach, reach out your hand, or turn around and leave.

He asks you to be quiet. He asks for a pledge to allow him teach you some lessons and asks you to leave if won't give him that pledge.

You've written a beautiful poem, but, did you give it to him?

joseph1832:
Read the analysis my good friend, and ask that question again. Lol.

WTF!

Why would someone want to give 500 Dallas to a random moniker?

joseph1832:

What has that noble man done to deserve that beautiful ode?

merit12:
Were do we start from
I want to learn poetry from you

Hehe. Learn poetry from Shakespeare instead.

merit12:
Thanks for all the corrections

Adesso sono capito tutti
Lui non e Nero
Lui e Blanco
Pero solo amici
Lui e pazzo
Fidami

Tell me, Merit. What new language are you learning? Is this Spanish?

merit12:
Are you passionate he ask
Are you romantic he fired at me once more
smiles filled my face as I remember how crazy he was the first time we chatted....

Hi Merit. 'Ask in the first line should be 'asked' since you're narrating a story from the past. And why did you decide not to put his words in quotation marks even though you wrote in direct speech? 'Filled' and 'remember' should agree. If you remembered in the past, then your face definitely filled in the past. If you're remembering in the present then your face is filling in the present too. You get that?

Marry me he wrote to me
Like a mad man woken up from a sweet dream
Like a speed of air in raylight
Like hottest of the Sun in summer

I like the way you used your similes in the last three lines. A mad man woken up from a sweet dream should be angry and probably try to chase one - with speed. Is that because you felt he was too fast to propose? Your third line seems to indicate that. In your fourth line, there should be the word 'the' before 'hottest'. It would have been more correct that way.

Ahhhhh I said this boy is mad
His openness was loud for me to see
His careful attention was like eagle searching for prey

In the first line, did you decide not to deliberately use an exclamation mark after 'Ahhhhh'? In the second line, I'm not exactly faulting your usage of 'loud' with 'openness', but I have a feeling that it would have been more appealing if you had decided to use with 'openness' an adjective that appeals to sight rather than hearing. Noticing openness is closer to the work of the eye than the ear - or so I think. In your last line, do you think it is correct to liken his careful attention to an eagle or to the attention of an eagle? I mean, don't you think it would sound better if you had written: "His careful attention was like an EAGLE'S (i.e was like that of an egale) searching for prey. You forgot the quotation marks in this stanza too.

Ahhh I said this boy is mad
I look at him the last time
Like a soaked wool in spirit
He stood with me like the visible angel guarding me
Then I change my mind and say this boy is my

I love your similes, sincerely! I think you should just have written Methylated Spirit in full to help you readers avoid confusions. 'Change' should have been 'changed' in your third line. Isn't it funny how you forgot to write your last word? Your what? With all that suspense? Are you too shy to tell us?

You've written a very beautiful poem for your beloved. Merit, Is the guy black?

merit12:
Were is llaykorn ?
I nor see am like m.i music intro called action film
Wondering why am searching for him?
Wondering why his name is with high and low?
Trust me I have no answer for that.

Were is llaykorn I ask again the second time
Can you throw golds away and pick steel?
Can you reject handshake from the president Obama
Can you leave your car at home and trekk to your village?

So as llaykorn the poet writting in the cave
Hiding in the lonely place watching the city of poetry in the night.
Saving innocent ones not to loose focus in writting
like the poet he is made to be
Making haters of poems becoming great writter.


Were is llaykorn I ask the third time
I can't find him here I seek him
Has anyone see him in valley,the cave in the threads?
There are invisible gift for him as a little reward
As the award of king .

Were is llaykorn for the last time
Questions for you my noble one
I guess I ask here and now my teacher
Abeg you fit look my poem and correct me bros?

Wow! Merit, you're back. This your ode is something else. Have you been to London? Are you still black?

Eureka123:
MAMA AFRICA
(c) 2015
Eureka123


You call us competition
You kill and torture both guilty and innocent
You say we are threats
The streets are purged with blood scents
Oh Mama Africa!

Apartheid was a terrible man
The segregation and injustice soared
A savior in a Southern African
Stood to fight for the rights of his people
Because you were oppressed and endlessly suffered
All because of Apartheid
How could you so soon, forget?
Oh Mama Africa!


Our tears have flown into rivulets
Nostalgia hits us
The kleptomaniac government may have failed you
Or your youths have grown too lazy
To become productive
Racism Racism Racism, you cry
How would she end when there lies "intra-racism"?
Oh Mama Africa!


So soon you have forgotten
How segregation and suffering feels
We are citizens of the earth
Your brothers are foreigners in our lands
Whatever happened to the hand of justice and abiding by the natural law?
Great Shaka of Zulu weeps
Mandela weeps
Africa mourns
All they ever stood for has dissipated
Their legacies being uprooted
Oh Mama Africa!


"Jungle justice" is evil
It is no justice at all
The innocent among us now come to harm
Let our children be
We have come out of love and because of globalization
For mutual benefits
We apologize if our brothers have committed crimes in your streets
They do not represent us well with such acts
We have held you in such high esteem
How quick esteem can crumble in a twinkle
Oh Mama Africa!


Xenophobia has an ugly head
It is the first son of hatred and dislike
He has come to disintegrate our mama Africa
Do not let him use you anymore
We are ambassadors of peace
Not ambassadors of bloodshed
Oh Mama Africa!


‪#‎SayNoToHomophobia‬ ‪#‎IfForeignersMustGoLetTheLawLead‬ ‪#‎OneAfrica‬ ‪#‎StopTheViolence‬

Beautiful piece of art. Keep this up!

Hi freshwaters. The address you provided for the konga link isn't working. Can I have a direct link to a site where I can get the hard copy without stress?