₦airaland Forum

Truckpusher:

timpaker:
Hellooooo!!! That watch isn't up to 70k. It just take a dial printer to crest the name. The Hublot Big bang Classic isn't as expensive as bn portrayed by this bloggers and reporters. Not as if the hour marks are made of diamond sef. Please tell another story abeg. I have that exact watch and it didn't cost up to 50k to get in Dubai.

Truckpusher:
I have warned you to take a spelling lesson last year

shiffynaani:
You people can't just blame the guy like that na. U don't even know what that girl was wearing at the time.
At times the fault comes from the female folks

FriedPlantain:
[b]hahaha, you flatter be bro.
You can check out this new thread of mine

https://www.nairaland.com/2379183/new-crazy-jokes-spice-up

I've got new ad funny jokes there.

Here is one for you to enjoy.

There was a businessman in Lagos who was getting ready to go on a long business trip in Abuja. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he’d try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her screwing someone else.
So he went to a store that sold intimacy gadgets and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation, the old man. “Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick.
We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except …” said the old man, and then he stopped.
“Except what?” asked the businessman.
“Nothing, nothing,” said the old man.
“C’mon, tell me! I need something!” protested the businessman.
“Well, sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is the ‘voodoo dick,’” the old man said.
“So what’s up with this voodoo dick?” the businessman asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking Love Machine.

The businessman laughed, and said, “Big _fucking deal. It looks like every other Love Machine in this shop!”
The old man said, “But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet.” He pointed to a door and said “Voodoo dick, the door.” The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said, “Voodoo dick, get back in your box!” The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent once more.
The businessman said, “I’ll take it!” The old man resisted and said it wasn’t for sale, but he finally surrendered to N200,000 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special Love Machine and that to use it, all she had to do was say, “Voodoo dick, my pusssy.”

He left for his trip satisfied things would be fine while he was gone. After he’d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably Hot. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick.
She got it out, and said “Voodoo dick, my pusssy!” The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she’d ever experienced before.

After three _orgasms, she decided she’d had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the Love Machine.
On the way, another _orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn’t been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her pusssy, and wouldn’t stop screwing.
The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, “Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my _ass!”


[/b]

sexyexcalibur:
una sabi misquote bible eh