₦airaland Forum

benzene00:
is that 5naira I'm seeing as stake, how can I pay 2k when you are not even sure of ur games

Nairaland can be extremely weird sometimes

if he was sure of the games he won't be charging 2k

Nice! Don't break the circle, man. F.uck up, we sack you, appoint a new coach and win a trophy.

N-agro.... Bleep ya theory

Chelsea's first trophy next season

Who is into forsage?... How does it work?

crystalboss:
Play and win
684 odds


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3pR9aAf44M

all the games are today?

Are your reports only on beauty queens?

tknyskny:
lol from a very good source

Afar? Mah drop id?

crackhaus:
Mtcheeeeeeeww...

Real mtcheeeeew!


The guy is delusional. He's the only one that needs therapy. Not his wife.

Bhus21:
Certain things have happened recently that supports what many of you are saying. Yes my wife is totally gone. I don't mind accepting that but due to my kids I have a hard time letting go.

There's no version of a divorce that doesn't hurt them and I can't stand that. I'm in a very difficult place I'm not sure how to move past it.

Our kids can only have one of us as the closer parent in a divorce and we're both very close to our kids. So serious wahala dey. Na only prayer fit solve this problem.

Kids kids kids kids..... There re kids from broken homes that re doing just fine, man.

symbuul:
38 Chelsea fans should post their bet details.

Cruise?

Officialetila:
If I win this 200k I go do giveaway for nairaland.chelsea please help me.

For real?

Chelsea abeg

mesmer:
Funding Time is here

First 10 monikers that quote this post gets #100 naira funding

Drop your Bookie i.d or number for Airtime

mesmer is the name

2026684 betking


Hopefully, I ain't late.

marveangel:
Can't relate....I was aloner back in primary and secondary school, only made a couple of friends in uni but after uni we went out separate ways....I really don't care much for company

Are you me?

Reading op's previous thread. Now I'm certain there's a 80% chance his kids ain't his.

Foodqueen:
Advising this op is a big waste of time.

He wouldn't listen now, cos he didn't listen before.

He has been here before, everyone advise him to leave, he was saying the woman is pleading to fulfill her destiny with him bla, bla , bla.....

It's not the first time she's seeing a therapist or going for counseling.its been on for years...

He wrote this last year...
https://www.nairaland.com/5650519/wife-still-cheating#86090707

I wanted to mind my business but......

jovialjune... Still think op is not a weakling?

How can we miss what we don't use?

JovialJune:
The earlier you guys stop deluding and consoling yourselves about this bad boy rubbish phrase y'all keep spilling about, the better for you.

It's just the truth ma'am.

Bhus21:
Ambivalent, non-committal, not remorseful. This was shocking to me to be honest. I thought to myself that it's all over. Was ok to go ahead with the divorce but the thought of ripping apart the world of my 3 small kids couldn't let me do it. I had to persist and encourage her to go to therapy for herself first and then counselling for us both afterwards to give it a shot. I said to her that when our kids are older, they're going to ask if we tried all we could to keep the family together. We need to be able to look them in the eye and say we did. So that's why I haven't packed my stuff and moved out yet. I was very close to doing it but it wouldn't have been the wisest thing to do. It might yet happen but I know I have to give it time and make decisions with a clear head.

Well, goodluck. Wouldn't want to be in your shoes, man. Reason why I'm never getting married. And please, do a DNA test on your kids. You can't be sure how long she's been cheating.

[quote author=Bhus21 post=102095652][/quote]ok. When you talked to her about fixing things what was her response?

Bhus21:
Well, Africans are even less likely to divorce and we know how much we all love sex whether premarital, marital or extra-marital. So not sure the point you're trying to make is well served by the comment you've made.

not when infidelity is involved.... African men can take a lot of shit but not infidelity.














One more question... How was your sex life?

AmazonTopaz:
Biko I like nice men.I don't like bad boys don't speak for all women.

Sorry, ma'am. Most women then.

Bhus21:
Yes it was clear disrespect and it's evident there's no love there anymore. Likelihood is also that she'll cheat again. Despite all this, the evidence suggests that it's worth trying to mend things via therapy.

The reality in life is that many marriages suffer from infidelity. 60% of men and 40% of women cheat in marriages apparently. This doesn't always spell the end of the marriage however as about 70% of marriages that go to counselling end up staying together. Also when you survey couples 5 years after they initially report feeling unhappy about their marriage, the vast majority of them later on report being happy in their marriage. On the other hand with divorce, up to 90% of divorcees report ongoing mental health problems. Kids from divorced homes also have a higher risk of every type of social and emotional poor outcome under the sun.

So while the knee jerk thing to do is to want to leave the marriage, the reality is that one is substituting one problem for another. So it's always worth a shot trying to salvage what's left of the marriage. So contrary to what many of you may think, the ballsy thing to do is to stay, be patient and try to work things out. If after a decent effort, things are still crappy then by all means it's time to leave. That work must first be done though.

With regards to being poisoned, this is not a Nollywood movie, people don't go around poisoning their betrayed spouse. If they did, there'd be way more dead spouses than we have now. There's clear research on the mindset of a cheater and affairs that explains all the behavior succintly. It's not right, but there is a psychology behind it and it is possible to move past it. Look up "limerence" for instance. There's lots of research and evidence on exactly what I'm facing. I've chosen to learn about it and it's clear that the best initial response it to take a shot to try to salvage the marriage.

My goal in starting this topic is to find a place to vent and release some of the emotional energy and potentially connect with others who've been through something similar and see how they managed.

Are you living in Nigeria?... Because all this your research and evidences only apply to western marriages, not African.

Bhus21:
Yes it was clear disrespect and it's evident there's no love there anymore. Likelihood is also that she'll cheat again. Despite all this, the evidence suggests that it's worth trying to mend things via therapy.

The reality in life is that many marriages suffer from infidelity. 60% of men and 40% of women cheat in marriages apparently. This doesn't always spell the end of the marriage however as about 70% of marriages that go to counselling end up staying together. Also when you survey couples 5 years after they initially report feeling unhappy about their marriage, the vast majority of them later on report being happy in their marriage. On the other hand with divorce, up to 90% of divorcees report ongoing mental health problems. Kids from divorced homes also have a higher risk of every type of social and emotional poor outcome under the sun.

So while the knee jerk thing to do is to want to leave the marriage, the reality is that one is substituting one problem for another. So it's always worth a shot trying to salvage what's left of the marriage. So contrary to what many of you may think, the ballsy thing to do is to stay, be patient and try to work things out. If after a decent effort, things are still crappy then by all means it's time to leave. That work must first be done though.

With regards to being poisoned, this is not a Nollywood movie, people don't go around poisoning their betrayed spouse. If they did, there'd be way more dead spouses than we have now. There's clear research on the mindset of a cheater and affairs that explains all the behavior succintly. It's not right, but there is a psychology behind it and it is possible to move past it. Look up "limerence" for instance. There's lots of research and evidence on exactly what I'm facing. I've chosen to learn about it and it's clear that the best initial response it to take a shot to try to salvage the marriage.

My goal in starting this topic is to find a place to vent and release some of the emotional energy and potentially connect with others who've been through something similar and see how they managed.

You re too nice. Probably why she cheated... Women don't really like nice guys... They prefer the bad boys. It's obvious no matter what advice you re given you'll still want to work things out. She already told you she wants out. Don't try to force it. Let her go. If she tries to work things out it's because of pity not because she wants to

Bhus21:
Some 3 weeks ago I confronted my wife about a man she'd been seeing. She unapologetically told me she had slept with him and wanted a divorce. This is my attempt to process this shock to my system and heal from the trauma.

Please, don't think of saving this marriage. I beg you. She doesn't love you no more and she'll definitely cheat again. Your kids will be just fine. You can have shared custody.



It's obvious she doesn't respect you. Pls grow some balls and divorce that woman.

Where justwiseass, chewbacca et al?

3K3CJBP.... How una see this game?.

Just follow due process shikenan

seanwilliam:
The first 5 people that quoted me with their ID/number have been funded .

Good luck

.fund me na

EmekaBlue:
B948WEQAQTCRQW-1305002

Congrats man.... E no easy

mesmer:
Funding Time is here

First 10 monikers that quote this post gets #100 naira funding

Drop your Bookie i.d or number for Airtime

mesmer is the name

3120919 b9ja