₦airaland Forum

No, it is the male who determines the sex of a baby.

I'm hot for Mc Cain -- there's just something about geriatric dudes. Incontinence and false teeth; what more could a gal ask for.

Virtually kiss our ass!

Well said, now carry on everyone.

Another reason why 70% of black women are single is because men are a bit intimidated by black women, even the "chickenheads" intimidate some black men because these young girls are often holding their own; as loud or as ghetto as they maybe. 

We watched Fantasia's life story tonight.  In the community, before her success, she is what some would consider an "in the hood girl".  But even in the movie, she was responsible enough to care for her child.  That's why I respect alot of "hook chicks" because alot of them sometimes have 2-4 children, yet they attend school or work several jobs to maintain.  Every woman wants help, but when a man isn't around to help, a woman must do what she must.

Here is what Judge Mathis had to say about it:

Commentary: Time to Step It Up, Brothers – We’ve Got to Do More to Keep Up with Our Sisters

Black women are doing great things: they’re graduating from colleges and graduate schools in record numbers, running their own businesses, buying their own homes. All over this country, sistas are doing it for themselves. And they deserve all the success they get.

Black women have overcome countless obstacles, battling racism and sexism, both overt and subtle, to get their just due. But, for every black woman that wins, there are numerous black men that don’t even get the chance to play in the game. This isn’t meant to compare the two. It is meant, however, to get brothas to realize that, while the system may not always be in their favor, they owe it to themselves, their communities and their women to step up and work it the best way they can.

Statistics suggest that black women currently own more companies than black men. Data recently released by the Small Business Administration shows that businesses owned by black women increased by 75 percent since the last census, compared to only a 29 percent growth in businesses owned by black men. The disparities don’t end there: Black women currently receive about two-thirds of all college degrees awarded, nearly 70 percent of all master’s degrees and close to 60 percent of all doctorates. Sistas also outnumber black men in the country’s medical, dental and law schools.
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The fact that black women are outdistancing black men in so many areas is a cause for concern. As our women succeed, they are positioned to become tomorrow’s business leaders and decision makers. The black male voice will become more and more obsolete. Our families, too, will suffer. Education and income disparities make it increasingly harder for black men and women to relate to each other, causing rifts in relationships, breaking up families. Over time, our young men will suffer as they’ll have fewer male role models to look up to,
---
Judge Greg Mathis is national vice president of Rainbow PUSH and a national board member of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.

I love Israelites

Yeah Israeli men are sexy.  

Middle eastern men are hot.  My uncle and wife lives in Qwait.  When they came to visit, my male cousin brought a male friend with.  I was so distracted.   He was really tall.

@ Just Good

That dumbness started from the Head of your family and it is reflected in your fatness.

you keep chasing Nigerian men all over the world and you think you should advise Nigerian girls to be going after white people.

*Yawn*  I know that you're gynophobic. 

That's why you've bashed a few women on the board. I don't see how "fat" ole me could be such a threat to you.

Once again, women can date who they what to date. And for the record, I've never had to chase a Nigerian man.

@Na2day

wow, did u see the commodities those black dudes were selling? and u are wondering why BW want to stick with their BM?      but it is kind of sick to see these folks use sex as a trade, made my stomach turn

Yeah, I saw that one guy.  But didn't he seem a bit "faggish" to you?  (laughing)  Throwing his locks back like a chick. (laughing)  When I think about it, it's not that black men have larger privates.   Like the women said in the video "it's the wildness of it all."   But a man's d*ck is not enough to keep a woman happy.

@JustGood

You absolutely do not understand my point.  There's a large number of quality black women who are searching through a pool of dwindling black men.  You seem to place these black men on a pedestal.  I do not because I know that there's quality men in every race. 

JustGood, I'm not stupid.  Nigerian women can be just as Americanized as women in the west.  What I think about SOME Nigerian female/male relationships I will keep to myself.  I won't offend others on the board.  But alot of Naija women suffer in silence.  I read Naija blogs by Nigerian women.  Do a search for yourself and really read about how some of these women feel oppressed.  There's even a Naijaland thread entitled "Nigerian Men Do Not Know How to Treat Their Women."  This particular thread isn't about Nigerian women, I knew that from the start.  My message is for black american women.  But if some Nigerian woman understands the message, than so be it.  Women can date and marry whom ever they want. 

There's more educated black women in America than black men.  These women sometimes wait years to meet ONE quality black man, when they could just open their dating pool by adding non-black men.  What's wrong with that?  Alot of black men are in jail, alot of them are absent fathers, the unemployment rate for black men is high.   While black men are absent, 70% of black children are fatherless.  What don't you understand about that?  What I'm telling decent black women to do, is to stop waiting around for black men and stop believing that non-black men aren't interested in them.  Move around.  Keep her dating options open.  I probably won't respond to any more of your messages, because you're rather dumb, close-minded and very anti-America.  You also like to degrade women.   I witnessed that on the other board.  Yet when I defended the Nigerian witch craft video (Nigerian male pastors) for it's bias media coverage, you were all ears.  Have you ever been to America?  Or do you only go by what you see on television?  Serious question to ask yourself.  In America women have the option to dress how they want to dress, and be who they want to be.  Yet you keep comparing Nigerian women to American women, thats really dumb.  We both know there's a cultural difference.  Some American women dress from head to toe, while other American women wear skimpy clothing.  American women marry all the time.  Get over it. 

But the problem for black women is largely because there's a lack of educated black men.  Lack of education=no job.  No educated, quality black woman wants to deal with a man who won't educate himself.

Exactly

Justgood, to name one. I think he's sexist.

@ Just Good

Whoever wrote that garbage for you is a desperate black woman trying to convince white american men to accept her.

All what was described above must have happened in dreamland
OR better still, in a club where guys go if they want to pick up black girls. there are such clubs in UK; just in case you don't know.

Here's the link Just Good,  See for yourself. 
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080819081827AAEON3z

By the way, Nigerian girls don't generally have this problem (if they are decent girls). It's mainly a Black American women problem. Methinks we need to distinguish properly.

And I already stated before that Nigerian women have their men on lock.  But alot of Nigerian men abroad date non-black women in the US and in Europe.  My guy dated a Russian woman before.

But Nigerian men in Nigeria tend to be more cultural and prefer Nigerian women. Nothing wrong with that.

Oh, over here *waving hand*

Well do you want her back now? Why did you two break up? There's several ways to approach this matter, depending on the breakup.

I think that you should step to her, before someone else does. Chop chop!

@Na2day

yup, especially the white women, they heard about the wonders of the BM and they want to find out first hand

Yeah this is true, I saw a video where white women pay Jamaican men to sleep with them in Jamaica (posted below).  I thought to myself, now you know some of those men haven't seen their kids in ages (laughing).  But they are having fun.  Guess that's all that matters.   

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why do u always have to reply with an epistle?        sotey e get part 2, haba! na nigerian film?

(laughing)  Apologies, I read alot and I talk alot.  I'm also visual, so that's why I post pictures and videos.

@ Uche2nna

The question is would they view those ladies as "gals they would bring home to mama". Just wondering if the Europeans that were hitting on black ladies in the clubs are just doing that to fulfil some fantasies

Well, I don't know. Maybe so, I wasn't at the club (laughing). But anything is possible. It was just interesting to me that the african american girls did not turn the british guys down. Black women are known for doing that in the name of "unecessary racial loyalty", when it's just a dance and some drinks.

@Karmamod

Were the men Italian? 

and the girl in the "letter" is suspicious with her constant "I'm not racist" gibberish. Guess she was hurt. Lol poor thing

Yeah, I noticed that too "I'm not racist" over and over.  Yet, she asks "What's Wrong with British Men?"  Like something is wrong with english guys who pursue black women.

Cont -- @Na2day Black women -- dating non-black men example

Shocked by British men's choice, what is WRONG WITH MEN IN EUROPE?
I'm a college student here in the US and this summer I did the "studying abroad" like most universities have. There were about 45 students this summer from the business school in my University.

I'm 23 years and I consider myself a good looking white girl because I take care of myself. I do not look down on others or races. I'm obvious white, 115 pounds, 5"5" tall, 36 bust. In college i have a lot of guys going after me and my friends.

STUDY ABROAD SUMMER:

This summer the study abroad was in london. We were so excited about being in london and meeting good looking british guys. To our surprise, we found that european men preferred to go after black women. This was shocking and such an eye opener to me and my white girl friends.

We went to pubs, clubs, restaurants. lounges and some other fancy places. It was the same. They bought drinks for them. Thats not to say that white men did not hit on white girls just that seemed to be on equal grounds. Which is good but surprising because this does not usually happen in america.

OUR GROUP:

our group of girls had 3 white girls and 2 African American girls. I'm not racist. Even in school this is our usual circle of friends. We travelled together in Europe and every where else.

WHAT HAPPENED:

Every time we went out, the british white guys would mostly be after the African American girls. My African American girls are also pretty. It's just that it shocked us the white American girls. We thought, we would be the first pick. I guess we are used to the white American guys not appraoching black girls, I thought it would be the same there.

LEARNING EXPERIENCE:

I found that in europe a white girl is not the most wanted girl. I learned tthat white and black girls have equal chances when it comes to men there. We found that there are many white men and black women couples in the UK as there are black men and white women couples. Unlike in the US where there much more blcak men and white women couples compared to white men and black women couples

By the time we went out for the 4th times, we the white girls knew it was fair game for the men for both black and white girls.

I WAS HURT NOT because I'm white but because there were some guy there that i would have liked to have spent some time with but instead they chose to get to know an African America girl. I would have felt the same way had they chosen an other white girl over me

CONCLUSION:

Not all but from what we experienced we learned that european men view women of all races in the same way or view black women in better light than white american men. This happened when we went to France, Ireland, Scotland, Switerland, Italy and Germany.

Bare in mind that there are a lot black british people in the UK. I have lived with black people for as long as we have.

I had a good time though. I learned a lot about other people and culture.

MY QUESTION:

Why is it different here. In america, i'm a 100% certain that if I were to walk in a place with only white men and I walked in with some African American girls that a white man would appraoch a black woman at least not in public or in front of a white girl.

What makes a white american man different from a white european man?

@Na2Day

forget that, black women are single not bcuz they choose to be but they happen to be, i have talked to a zillion of them and they all want a man but the fact is, most of them don't even know the definition of a man or how to make their male companion the desired man they want. i have given alot of them advice before and that have led many of them to behave themselves and found peace in their relationship. a friend of mine in oklahoma once told me to open a consulting firm for relationship management bcuz she thinks i am gifted in it. this past wednesday in church, an AA girl told me she finally understands my point or the roles of males and females in a relationship. bottom line is, most black women that marry outside their race will also marry in the race and be very very successful bcuz they already understand thoroughly the act of compromise; they wont be loud mouthed and always trying to man their men look small for any kind of mistake just to score points with her peeps.

Once again, black women are single for various factors.  Right now, the current state of black women singleness is because BW are a bit hesitant to seek relationships with non-black men.  Some BW continue to hold on to black community programming when it comes to dating and finding marriagable mates.  I let go of this kind of programming and "unnecessary loyalty" along time ago. 

My message to my friends, is to find suitable mates by adding quality non-black men to their dating pool.  Black women do not have to remain loyal to a group of unloyal men (laughing),  It's obsurd.  And here you are giving advice to AA women who AT LEAST attend church services, but have you even bothered to look around?  Where are the black men in your church?  I bet you will find about 4 of them present (laughing).  I'm sure the black women at your church, outnumber black men drastically.   They do not need advice, they need to go where they can find quality men, even if they have to date outside of the AA community.  That should be your advice to these black women, if you really cared.

I do not meet men from the internet, though I do chat with alot of people.  I chat with more non-black men who desire BW woman, than I do african american men.  I even chat with a white guy who lurks the Nigerian threads here.  Some white men really desire BW and Continental African women, but do not know how to approach BW, because BW are so programmed to "keep the home fires burning".  Alot of BW are quick to tell a non-black man to f*ck off, when he's only trying to open lines of communication.  This has to change.

Because there is little to no media representation of black female beauty (besides those dreaded hip hop videos) black women also fear that non-black men will find them unattractive.  Black men also add to this stigma, when they go around the internet bashing black women as a scapegoat to date more white women.  Luckily, most people outside of America are able to "see through" the American media programming.  To think that every non-black man is interested in black women, is untrue.  BUT truth is, a large number of non-black men are very interested in black women.  One of the white guys I chat with most, often hits me up for advice on how to woo his black female interest.  He is very interested in her, but I can tell that she is starting to "back down" from what he has been telling me. 

Anywoo, I will post below an interesting letter I found on YahooAnswers.

Someone sent this video link to my email   --  Thanks, it's very interesting.  This guy really touches on some of the reasons why BW should start "dating out". Find relationships with quality men, no matter what race or ethnic background. 


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@aciddrop

because them black bros are after them white ass shawty

Exactly, alot of BM are after non-black women and gay men.  Which I have no problem with.  To each his own.

But honestly, a majority of BM have no intention to marry black women in posession of this supposed "wifey material" that you speak of.  The average low quality BM, can't even define the phrase "wifey material". 

But once again, it's not really about what black men do at this point, it's about black women becoming self-advocates. It's about black women recognizing sexism in the black community.

@ sisterwoman

really how many of those single Black Women are really wify material?

"Wifey Material"  --  This is just another tactical phrase used by BM  to control BW.  Who are you, or anyone else to suggest that one BW woman is worthy of marriage while another BW woman is not?  Wifey Material -- Is a phrase that some BM use to dodge responsibilities in the black community.  BM also use this phrase to get easy sex.  Most of these BM have no idea what "Wifey Material" is. 

Example/Dodging Responsibility: 

BW:  "What happen in your last relationship?"  "Why didn't you marry your baby's momma, where's your baby?" 
BM:   "Oh, she wasn't Wifey Material, I don't even think the kid is mine."
BW:  "Well did you pursue DNA testing?"
BM:   "Nope"



Example/Easy Sex:

BM:  "Damn baby, you is Wifey Material."
BW:  "Foe real?  (legs spread like she's at the engagement finishline).  9 months later, she's pregnant and he's gone.


(laughing) BW REALLY need to wake up to these "black mammy" games and community "mammy" programming.   Some BM and some in the community condition BW to keep the home fires burning, while some BM remain unloyal to a race of women and a race of children.

@Sisterwoman  (been trying to post this all day - so busy today  lol)

really how many of those single Black Women are really wify material?

Lets be honest most of the ones still not married are that way because they are chickenheads and are not worthy of a ring.  And sometimes these hot in the pants girls get the eyes of our black men and lure them in with lots of tricks and cover shows to cover up their lack of essence but still I would never encourage anyone to give up on the brothas.

Sisterwoman, I do not have female friendships with "chickenheads" or "Little Kims".  But in defense,  even the most "chickenhead" woman cares for her child the best way she can.  Because of this, I deem the average "Maury Povich Chick aka Chickenhead"  to be more responsible than the average low quality BM.    (Low quality black men who abandon their children.  I'm not speaking of BM who handle their business - by the way).

I often observe black women in my residential complex.  Very hardworking, professional BW who are single and refuse to "date down."  I've lived here for a substantial amount of time, and year after year, the same BW are single.  I have a single girlfriend who is a math instructor.  Another who is executive coordinator of the city village hall.  One who manages the office services department at a patent and trademark law firm.  I have a single girlfriend who owns her own nail salon.  I have a single girlfriend (neighbor) who is a RN.  And another single girlfriend who owns her an antique consignment shop (which was rated the top consignment store in wisconsin).  All of these women are in their 30s.  They are black and have been single for awhile.

They have to date low quality BM (LQs).  Or BM who are separated from their wives.  This is called "dating down".  So, I'm not refering to the Little Kims.  I'm speaking of healthy-minded, ambitious, attractive and very single BW.  

Some black men have habitually been in and out of sour relationships with the little Kims of the world.  By the time these wounded BM meet serious minded BW, they are at a lost when it comes to building healthy relationships. They have nothing to bring to the table.  Many of them can't get over "Little Kim".  Many of them are "momma's boys."  Some of these BM have too many children.  A healthy minded BW does not have time to sort through a dwindling pool of BM. 

So what I gather by your response;  your message to these healthy-minded black women would be to wait for BM? Sisterwoman, puhlease (laughing).  These BW need to "date out" and find quality men, without race being a factor.  

others have given up on our brothas.  So many others have counted them down and out and not worthy of their attention and love, I just can't see myself doing that to them.

Sisterwoman, 70% of black children live in single parent homes.  Not 10% not 20% -- a WHOPPING 70%.  BM gave up on the black community a long time ago.  BM gave up on BW and black children.  (quality BM not included)  Why should perfectly eligible BW twiddle their thumbs waiting for BM to come back to the community?  
Seriously, answer this.

@ sisterwoman

For me to settle for a white man because the good brothas are hard to come by would be lazy and not true to who I am. BW are strong and are the fabric that hold our society together. For those that will date non-black men I say go do you. It just leaves more brothas for my daughter to choose from.

It's not really completely about black women running off to date non-black men. It's really time for black women to be self advocates. When I decided to let go of black community ideology as far as interracial relationships are concerned, I became a self advocate for myself as a black woman and individual. I refuse to be another "black mammy".

Sometimes you will find black women being taught the "black men only" ideology (just as you are doing on the board). Black women lured into this attitude might feel they are doing their bit for the race, they think that they are showing themselves strong and proud black women because these interpretations have been placed upon black-black dating and black women often do not question these set definitions seen as sacred.

Instead of more black women being "self advocates" They would rather look after the interest of others and the needs of undeserving black men, instead of looking after their own needs. One key reason is that black women have been conditioned by the community to be "black mammys". It is a learnt behavior. Some black women grow up watching their moms, their aunts and older sisters forget their personal needs and concerns. They push their own needs aside and this is perceived as being a "strong black woman". I think it's time for black women to be "smart black women" and a smart black woman, doesn't sit around waiting for a BM. A smart black woman realizes that she has needs, she wants children and a family and shouldn't have to wait until she's 41 years of age to enjoy married life. Star Jones; perfect example.

In the black community, honestly, the BW's traditional pool of BM men is dwindling. Don't you see the numbers?? 70% of black women are single, yet your message is for these black women to forget that they have needs? Forget that they deserve quality relationships with quality men, forget that they are women and individuals first? Continue to wait for BM? Strange.

Maybe your daugthers will INDEED be able to pick over the BM leftovers, because more BW will definately be "dating out" once they see these numbers. And I never specifically said that BW should date white men, but they can if they want to.

@na2day

Come on, seriously -- grow up. 70% of black women being single, has nothing to do with your private. (laughing) If you have a big one, good for you. Swing, sling do what you do best. But truth is, black women are single because they choose to be. They have been conditioned to be breeders for the black race and nothing else. What I call "the black man's mammy".

But I'm glad that many BW are finding happiness with quality men, no matter what race. That's my story, and I'm stickin to it.

@ Na2day

na2day?:
it is not that serious?  speak for yourself ooooo 

ovularia, mind yourself oooo, i am black in and out, if u spill my blood it is very black, a very authentic black african with highly endowed blessings from mother nature

Seriously,  It's just not true. That's a myth.  Maybe you are well endowed, but this isn't true for a large number of black men.  Some black men have been running through so many women, they can't even get it up anymore (lol)  I've seen this when I worked in urology and gastroenterology.  Here's a man who speaks the truth -- see the video below. 

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Another one, for extra measure -- pun intended.  lol

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@na2day

are u sure u have been with a black dude before? i am not talking about obama kind of black ooo, i am talking about black, especially the ones fresh from the motherland, ha, they are blessed my sister, leave that tori.

(laughing) Yes, I've dated black men before. I am now (nigerian). I've dated men of other ethnic groups as well. I am realistic about marriage and I know the kind of husband that I want. I will not tolerate b.s. just to have a black man on my arm or to have a black private. It's not that serious.

@Karmamod

It's all scare tactics for them to keep black women from branching out, while they go off dating whomever from wherever. Sad thing is black women fall for this pathetic garbage.

Exactly, it's all "scare tactics". 




@sisterwoman

sistawoman:
And since when have Black Women did something just because someone else is doing it?   And why is it ok to promote the diluting of our blood any further?  Since when have we allowed Black Men to set our standards for what we should be doing?

Sisterwoman, It's not about "monkey see money do" and it's not about black women JUST surviving.   It's about black women LIVING. BW deserve healthy-minded mates no matter what race.  It's not about black men, it's about black woman; 70% of them.  Some of these BW women have never been married, some haven't had a decent man in years (laughing).  So your argument is that you fear the race will be diluted?

My question is why should it be the black woman's sole responsibility to uphold a race that black men no longer care about?  70% of black children, are fatherless while black women maintain the homefront.  Alot of BW have 3-4 children and no fathers for these children.   Real talk now.  This is "black mammy" conditioning and it has to stop.   Black women have been conditioned to keeping the home fires burning (laughing).  They walk around in lingerie and light candles alone (laughing).  Why?  Because they need to get real. 

BW are hoping that black men will change, BM will not change.  BW just need to move around and venture out.  I stopped having "black man tunnel vision" a looooooong time ago.  I'm not blind,  70% is no joke and the numbers are even higher for BW in Europe.   It's really time for black women to let go and date quality men -- doesn't matter what race.