₦airaland Forum

I've dated a guy shorter than me, but he had a serious "Napoleon Complex".

but i disagree i should not post this on a nigerian forum because nigerians are aprt of black america the ones that live here

There's a very small minority of Nigerians living in America, and I think that most would be offended if you classify them as Black Americans when they are in fact, Nigerian Americans (that's if they have citizenship).

When looking at Nigerian demographics in America, African immigrants in general have the highest educational attainment of any immigrant group in the US; higher than Asian Americans.

Also, you must not forget that this is a Nigerian messageboard and many of the Nigerians here live in Nigeria, not America. So I feel the topic is uncalled for on a Naija messageboard.

I'm really tired of this topic, especially on a messageboard for Nigerians. But in all honesty, I think that AA's need to make education a priority. There's too many AA's trying to make it with JUST a high school diploma or GED.

Education is key.

I find they are very thin skin/sensitive people. you mekk a little joke wid them - and them ready to drop a bomb on you. so what do they do? - they jump under 5 to 6 false monikers and go coo-coo. Just their way to intimidate you. . , . .but i just brush my shoulder off like Jay-Z. Once you pick up their ways/culture/thinking - you'll be fine

ha ha ha -- this is very true

anyway I'm just going to let go

Good for you sweetie.  You are a beautiful girl and smart too, you don't have to settle for anyone.  If the water isn't flowing, turn the faucet off.  Someone out there wants to treat you well.  Give someone else a chance.

My nails are really thin and break easily. What do you do to grow your nails? I have been using "Hard as Nails" by Sally Hansen. But my nails still break.

people u are getting it wrong it wasnt just one random text, we do text each other but not often,  i text and he tex back i didnt reply and i got a e-mail from him today saying blah blah blah

He should be at your house.  I once had a guy who did me wrong, and wanted to get back with me.  After awhile, I would catch him driving past my house. 

This guy that you are talking about should be going crazy, and not just sending text messages and email if he is really sorry.   He should be trying to get your attention, but in a safe way -- no stalking.  I also have a friend who's boyfriend broke up with her a couple of years ago.  When he wanted her back, he bought her a nice piece of jewelry.  This guy cried, he begged.  He was really sorry.  Now they are married.

Sometimes guys just want to "hit it again", or see if they can hit it again.  You probably should just move on and get a decent guy.

lol -- maybe they are happy.

ha ha ha ha ha

I think you probably should move on.  If he was serious, you would know it.   You wouldn't have to ask on a messageboard.

I think you should date some decent guys.  He really should be literally BEGGING (laughing) if he wants you back.  Not sending text messages.  Don't make it easy for him to move foward with you.  Being cautious with him, is not a game.

It would be different if you hurt him.  But he hurt you.  Why should you allow someone to come and go as they please?  It's your life, you only have one to live.

There's a saying that:  "Men are like rubberbands and women are like waves"

This means that when men feel stressed, they will pull away like a rubberband.  The more a woman tries to get him to bounce back by talking things out, the more he will stretch his rubberband.

The best thing to do is to focus on yourself when he goes through his rubberband phase.  Do things that make you happy.  By focusing on yourself, this sends a signal that you do not depend on him for your happiness. He will appreciate the effort.

Men also tend to compartmentalize.  If he is in his business room, it will be difficult to get him to come in the romance room with you.  They tend to focus on one thing at a time.   Women, on the other hand, can focus on more than one thing at a time.  We are better at multi-tasking.

So just leave him be, he will come around.

mixture:
What is the best way or at least a recommendable way of meeting with a lifetime partner?
Do you just try to date anyone you come across and you are attracted to or do you watch out for some attributes and qualities?

The best way is to pray first. Ask God to send you a suitable healthy-minded mate.

The only way to tell if a woman is for you, is to date as many as possible until you meet the right one. The main qualities that you want to look out for is

Confidence: You want a woman who feels good about herself and is kind to others.
Good Cook: A woman who can cook and LOVES to do so.
Outer appearance: You want a woman who cares about her appearance. Smells good, clean nails and hair.
Intelligence: You want a woman who can hold a conversation, make you laugh. She should also have book knowledge and adequate schooling.
Sex: You want a woman who enjoys sex. No prudes


And this is just the basic stuff that you should look for. After praying for the perfect mate, try to be patient.

When you are in his company, pick your nose and then eat it.

A well brought up girl finding it difficult to meet her right man, she is beautiful and has good intention for a long term relationship.

a 25yrs old 3rd year student happens to meet with several guys via internet dating, it wasn't even her mind to accept to go on the internet research thing.

Ever since she involved herself all the guys she has chated with seem to be very nice on net but when they come around they want nothing but ONLY sex.

She is not that lose type that could just meet a man for the first time and sleep with him when she is not sure of the man.

she has complained to me that she is geeting feld up with men if this is how all men behave.

I can understand her feelings but i don't know how to advice her on this issue, i didn't do internet date to get married so it's hard for me now she has decided to stay away from men but she needs to be a wife and a mother one day.

What are your advice for her please, ?

My advice is that she should first pray and ask God to send her a suitable mate - a man with a healthy mind.  

She should also make a list of characteristics she looks for in a husband.  Most times as people, we attract like minds, or people who mirror back to us personal qualities that we need to work on.  What she can also start doing, is treating herself very well.  She should write herself a love poem and buy herself flowers.  She should eat well, and get alot of rest.  

After praying for her husband, she should do all things that align with what she wants.  She should learn how to cook, if she doesn't know how.  She could start reading books on how to rear children.  She should act as though God has answered her prayer. Most importantly, she must keep her heart open and stay away from unhealthy minded men.  Once she meets a new guy, she should keep her legs closed for AWHILE until he gets to really know her. 

Alot of men only think with one head.  She could be wearing a button down suit, and a man will still think of sex.  So it's important to stall the sexual act for as long as possible.  This gives a man a chance to take his time and get to know the woman.  If he doesn't want to stick around in an effort to "know her", then that's great for her.  She should move on with the quickness.

Deep down, every man really wants a woman to control the situation when sex becomes an issue.  She should be in control always. She should also STOP meeting guys from the internet. Maybe someone can introduce her to a decent guy. A friend or family member? I do not trust men from the internet.

It depends on what his handicap is.

Is this technique still valid? What happened to intelligent men?

I agree. I don't know what kind of woman would fall for his lame line.

This is funny, because my guy has a video that he couldn't wait to show me.   After the movie he went on to explain that in certain parts of Nigeria some women are fattened before marriage and that certain dances are best done by heavier women.   He was also excited to see positive portrayals of African men in the movie.

But I think this practice is dying.  More women in Nigerian; from what I've read, prefer to be "fit instead of fat".

I know, Chicago downtown is unbelievable! I actually work right across from the millennium park So, I see the bean every day.

Hey

Yeah, that bean is cool.

Tyra has more style. Naomi is a bully.

Nope, I don't think I would. Luckily the women in my family age gracefully.

@poster  Try this website.  I grew my hair an extra 8 inches this year and my moms hair grew an extra 4 inches in just two months.  http://www.growafrohairlong.com/index.html.  She has videos and everything.

The way to grow your hair longer is to:

1.  First have someone clip your ends.

2.  The next think you need to do is purchase a satin head scarf.  You are to always sleep in this head scarf because sleeping with your hair unprotected causes split ends.  Pillowcase fabric can also cause your hair to dry out and split.

3.  You need to keep all hot irons and blow dryers out of your hair.  Use hot irons and blow dryers sparingly.  Maybe once or twice a month.

4.  If you plan to keep your hair braided, STAY AWAY FROM MICROBRAIDS.  They tend to weaken the strand.

5.  The kind of braids that you should get are the larger ones about the size of a pencil.   Whoever braids your hair should also soak the chemicals out of the nylon synthetic hair that she will be using to extend the lenght of your braids.  You can also soak away the chemicals by doing it yourself at home in your kitchen sink and then allowing the hair to dry before your appointment. 

6.  If you plan to keep your hair braided, you must wash your hair once a week by gently using a sponge, water and shampoo solution.  You should also use a cholesterol conditioner and let the condition sit in your hair for 15 -20 minutes.  After rinsing the cholesterol conditioner from your hair, you need to moisturize the strand of your hair with a waterbased leave in conditioner like Infusium 23.

7.  If you plan to use a light oil moisturizer like "Doo Grow",  (which is what I use.  It works so well) use your light oil moisturizer LAST because oil seals in the water from your leave in conditioner. 

8.  Purchase a hair growth vitamin.  These vitamins usually run about $25 for 60 tablets.  Hair growth vitamins will help to extend the growth phase of your hair.  Black hair usually grows 1/2 inch every month, but with a hair vitamin you will be able to get more growth, for your money.  (ha ha) It's also important to eat fruits and veggies.

Everyday during the week before your wash day, you should be maintaining  by moisturizing your hair with a waterbased braid spray and then sealing the water with a light oil moisturizer (Doo Grow).  You maybe able to find a dual braid spray.

Another thing that you should keep out of your hair is anything made with the chemical protroleum jelly.  Protroleum jelly sits on top of the hair and really doesn't help with anything.  It's also very greasy. 



Good luck *grin*

I really like Proactive. Its the best product for my skin.

Yeah, but don't give in so easily.  Make him sweat a bit.  You have to show him that you will not be taken for granted.  You also have to show him that you have other options.  If you give in right away, he will think that you've been waiting all year for him to return.  He is not worried about you talking to his goofy friends.  But he would be more alert if he knows that you have real prospects and decent guys who want to date you.

Never give a guy the impression that you've been waiting for him, even if you stayed home all year crying over the lost of him, remain focused on your life. He really should be begging you back and going crazy at the thought of losing you.  If he's not at that point yet, then take things slow and meet other men.

Yeah, I agree with the poster above.  Stop texting.  Anyone can hide behind a text message.

What kind of video editing software will you be using? I can help.

Recently I was in a discussion with a few American women and the topic was "Marrying Nigerian Men". The women claimed that Nigerian men wee demanding, boring, had no romantic nature, and only thought of themselves when having sex. They said Nigerian men were very hard to please. They mentioned that their relaionships with the Nigerian men were fine until the men got citizenship. They claimed once the Nigerian men got USA Citizenship their personalities changed completely. I found this very hard to believe since I am married to a Naija man. I was yold 95% of the Nigerian men that marry American women want citizenship/green card status. I find this hard to believe since I am an American woman that marrried a Nigerian man. All men are hard to please if there is a lack of understanding.

Since visiting this messageboard, this is my first time hearing of this. I think it really depends on the kind of Nigerian man a woman marries. I also think it depends on how long a particular Nigerian man has been in the states. I suggest dating one who already has American citizenship or has been living in the states. That way you won't take a chance at being used for a greencard.

Very nice video

What are your thoughts?  I think that the Bush administration should be investigated for war crimes as well.


WASHINGTON – President-elect Obama's advisers are quietly crafting a proposal to ship dozens, if not hundreds, of imprisoned terrorism suspects to the United States to face criminal trials, a plan that would make good on his promise to close the Guantanamo Bay prison but could require creation of a controversial new system of justice.

During his campaign, Obama described Guantanamo as a "sad chapter in American history" and has said generally that the US. legal system is equipped to handle the detainees. But he has offered few details on what he planned to do once the facility is closed.

Under plans being put together in Obama's camp, some detainees would be released and many others would be prosecuted in US. criminal courts.

A third group of detainees — the ones whose cases are most entangled in highly classified information — might have to go before a new court designed especially to handle sensitive national security cases, according to advisers and Democrats involved in the talks. Advisers participating directly in the planning spoke on condition of anonymity because the plans aren't final.

The move would be a sharp deviation from the Bush administration, which established military tribunals to prosecute detainees at the Navy base in Cuba and strongly opposes bringing prisoners to the United States. Obama's Republican challenger, John McCain, had also pledged to close Guantanamo. But McCain opposed criminal trials, saying the Bush administration's tribunals should continue on US. soil.

The plan being developed by Obama's team has been championed by legal scholars from both political parties. But it is almost certain to face opposition from Republicans who oppose bringing terrorism suspects to the US. and from Democrats who oppose creating a new court system with fewer rights for detainees.

Laurence Tribe, a Harvard law professor and Obama legal adviser, said discussions about plans for Guantanamo had been "theoretical" before the election but would quickly become very focused because closing the prison is a top priority. Bringing the detainees to the United States will be controversial, he said, but could be accomplished.

"I think the answer is going to be, they can be as securely guarded on US. soil as anywhere else," Tribe said. "We can't put people in a dungeon forever without processing whether they deserve to be there."

The tougher challenge will be allaying fears by Democrats who believe the Bush administration's military commissions were a farce and dislike the idea of giving detainees anything less than the full constitutional rights normally enjoyed by everyone on US. soil.

"There would be concern about establishing a completely new system," said Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif., a member of the House Judiciary Committee and former federal prosecutor who is aware of the discussions in the Obama camp. "And in the sense that establishing a regimen of detention that includes American citizens and foreign nationals that takes place on US. soil and departs from the criminal justice system — trying to establish that would be very difficult."

Obama has said the civilian and military court-martial systems provide "a framework for dealing with the terrorists," and Tribe said the administration would look to those venues before creating a new legal system. But discussions of what a new system would look like have already started.

"It would have to be some sort of hybrid that involves military commissions that actually administer justice rather than just serve as kangaroo courts," Tribe said. "It will have to both be and appear to be fundamentally fair in light of the circumstances. I think people are going to give an Obama administration the benefit of the doubt in that regard."

Though a hybrid court may be unpopular, other advisers and Democrats involved in the Guantanamo Bay discussions say Obama has few other options.

Prosecuting all detainees in federal courts raises a host of problems. Evidence gathered through military interrogation or from intelligence sources might be thrown out. Defendants would have the right to confront witnesses, meaning undercover CIA officers or terrorist turncoats might have to take the stand, jeopardizing their cover and revealing classified intelligence tactics.

In theory, Obama could try to transplant the Bush administration's military commission system from Guantanamo Bay to a US. prison. But Tribe said, and other advisers agreed, that was "a nonstarter." With lax evidence rules and intense secrecy, the military commissions have been criticized by human rights groups, defense attorneys and even some military prosecutors who quit the process in protest.

"I don't think we need to completely reinvent the wheel, but we need a better tribunal process that is more transparent," Schiff said.

That means something different would need to be done if detainees couldn't be released or prosecuted in traditional courts. Exactly what that something would look like remains unclear.

According to three advisers participating in the process, Obama is expected to propose a new court system, appointing a committee to decide how such a court would operate. Some detainees likely would be returned to the countries where they were first captured for further detention or rehabilitation. The rest could probably be prosecuted in US. criminal courts, one adviser said. All spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss the ongoing talks, which have been private.

Whatever form it takes, Tribe said he expects Obama to move quickly.

"In reality and symbolically, the idea that we have people in legal black holes is an extremely serious black mark," Tribe said. "It has to be dealt with."

I'm not Igbo, but I think Igbo is the best!

I read that Calabar has the best women.  They know how to treat their men.  Any Calabar women care to share their secrets?

Inquiring minds would like to know.    Give details.


I read that Calabar women are said to be excellent in matters of sexuality and are sought after by men as wives, women-friends or mistresses. Due to their alleged expertise in relationships with men, they have been accused of promiscuity and using love potions on men and thereby dominating them.