₦airaland Forum

Mine was when I was still a freshman, there was this guy who was getting roasted in a "yabbing" contest. Dude literarily cried and left, told us he will be back. He came back the next day with one skinny dude in baggy clothes and told us, with gleeful eyes, that this dude would skin us alive with his yabs.

Now Keycan(not his real name) was our serial 'yabbist' and has been itching for a worthy competitor for sometime. Immediately he saw the skinny dude, he didnt even wait for an introduction and launched his attack with the most hilarious yab I ever heard: "Who be this guy? See as you be like skeleton wey person just throw skin on top like bedspread". That was it, show was over!


Update: I have had a laugh remembering good ol days, found this thread as well: https://www.nairaland.com/1556745/yab-yab-yab-childhood-yabbing. It cracks me up everytime

mansakhalifa:
That thing on that tripod does not look like a camera to me. If you ask me,it looks like some sort of surveying equipment-a theodolite or something? Dunno.

Its called a transit. Used for measuring horizontal and vertical angles, its very similar to a theodolite.
https://www.surveyantiques.com/comp_images/gurley/book/color/c-38.jpg

ChieduJoshua081:
com what is ur problem? Why did u say that? Dont u support it? eh? How many times has Drake come to Nigeria to do his music here? How many times has sam smith, Ed sheran, Adele, Beyonce left their country to come and do their business in Nigeria? Cant u see that some Nigerians are senseless?

It doesnt have to be Nigeria, but most of them shoot videos abroad (outside US) here are some examples of videos shot by American artists in brazil:

Michael Jackson - They dont care about us
[img]https:///media/6-20-2015/RDT6oN.gif[/img]

Beyonce - Hold onto me Blue ivy
https://31.media.tumblr.com/dc81aa14cdfaef3f7657740387bd525c/tumblr_n6z0j3bY6o1tqakyso1_500.gif

Snoop and Pharrel - Beautiful
[img]https://thamightymix.files./2016/06/beautiful.gif?w=448&h=336[/img]

I'm sure you have seen this music video of Nicki Minaj - No Frauds... that bridge behind her is located in 'You know where'
https://68.media.tumblr.com/6632c990475b804791c6eee2b955bccc/tumblr_oova8uvICx1ua01u0o1_500.gif

ss

This is becoming interesting

Typical of Nigerian customer service, ignoring the complaint made and attacking flimsy issues all in a bid to find an excuse for their incompetence.

You expect Mikel to post pics of his family on instagram so Evan's fans and apprentices could stay employed? Wasn't it you lot that kidnapped his father a couple of years ago? Nigeria isn't safe so he keeps his family off social media to protect them.

bigfrancis21:
Obianuju Nwosu should be held responsible.

Obianuju is one of the dead

Wow All CHELSEA FC LEGENDS ARE GONE.
Saw this on youtube recently. Lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkXEOUgjzb0&list=PLkuBhFp3PkDDTeuUwED24DbY477VCtfEn&index=1

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkuBhFp3PkDDTeuUwED24DbY477VCtfEn

Just last week someone complained about the state of the Warri central hospital in this thread: https://www.nairaland.com/3876672/terrible-state-central-hospital-warri

www.nairaland.com/attachments/5535412_1_jpeg83b5009e040969ee7b60362ad7426573

www.nairaland.com/attachments/5535413_2_jpegea571676ce9b75b0730a5d56350ae93e

www.nairaland.com/attachments/5535414_3_jpeg182845aceb39c9e413e28fd549058cf8

OP women are primodially Hypergamous in nature. See my thread: https://www.nairaland.com/3110907/hypergamy-briffaults-law-women-primodially

Now about this topic, you gotta focus on two things:
1. Women love to be entertained. (The person who designed Barbie fantasy world for girls probably saw this too)
2. Women don't care how you are able to provide entertainment, they just want to be entertained. (Call it living in a fantasy world)

You may feel you have all the girls at your beck and call even though you are broke, but first off, you have to realise what being broke truly means. Being temporary out of funds isn't the same thing as broke. Let's say Andy gets paid every month but at some point he used up all his money to change his wardrobe. Andy would get more attention from women than Barry who wears one shirt everyday cos he is saving his money for a house and perhaps a comfortable vacation for his future family when he gets married.

But the Irony is, women would find Andy more desirable even though he is broke, because he externally appears to have his life on check while Barry doesn't seem to. But when it comes to marriage, women would pick Barry over Andy any day. The only issue women have is that most of them are not proactive enough to investigate the men they get married to.

Most women associate wealth with what men show them not what the men really have. That's why the divorce rate these days seem widespread, because in marriage they get to find out that the 'hushpuppi doppel ganger' husband they married used all his cash to impress girls with a fancy wardrobe designed by gucci and versace, but really he has a bank account reading in negative and can't even afford every day family needs.

this man is no soldier

Victornezzar:
Just look at wat ur saying
dat prison isn't good 4 his white skin......it's we blacks dat love prison na
let him face d wrath of wat he did....but if it's our citizens dat commit d crime....ur type would be d 1st 2 say let em be jailed
y do we keep worshipping d whites

Lol, she called the criminal sweetheart!

.

Holly Molly! Would you look at that? The number of pink f's that appear in the 'viewing-this-topic' section is like the follow list of the average male nairalander.

belindar:
This is not a big news to people that leaves in western world. You buy your ticket and you attend and take foto as you like. So what a Bleep? I have been to many events similar to these even football matches, Bolton v Chelsea when okocha was there, Chelsea v Man U, Barca v Chelsea and many more. WWW world championships at MEN AREANA.
I have even stayed in the same hotel with many dignitaries during my trips but never make noise.

You call it noise. They call it sharing their happiness. You chose to keep your experiences private. What's it to you what they choose to do with their experiences?

livinus009:
This is the first I've seen in Nigeria. The state or FG Should probably invest in it.

I have thought about setting something like this up in Nigeria last year but I don't live in Nigeria, It's a good move by the op.

highchief3:
The lady flagging off the race.... .. the ones I see on TV look different Sha!

That was a lady? Uh sh*t. You are right, I just had to go take a look at the picture again. Well it's a rally not Fast and Furious, lol. I guess anything goes. You and I would probably be amazed to find out that Lady may have fantasized about being a Flag girl when she was younger and this is a dream come true.

Cornerstone001:
Interesting but it's nothing to compare with formular 1

I think they did just fine. Rally racing is in a different class of its own not to be compared with F1. It's meant to be held in rugged terrain(dirt track) not clean tarred roads.

This is innovative. I want to see more of these sorts of tournaments in Nigeria.

That Fiona looks Kenyan btw

Stay off gluten and sugar for 4 weeks and post your results the week after.

Wheat, Bread or anything made with flour should be forbidden in your diet.

Eat more fruits and exercise often.

I had expected by now the Eastern chiefs would have made declarations to those living in the East to open their homes and resources to accept the Eastern returnees from the North and help them integrate into the eastern society once more. What are they waiting for?

What Mr Bob here is doing is commendable, but they need to do more. Volunteers should be enlisted into an evacuation, relocation and integration service, to help eastern descendants stranded in the north make the big move back to the east. I am yet to see any tangible move made in light of the looming crisis.

This move is to ensure, returnees don't face exploitation from unscrupulous elements if/when they arrive at their homeland.

I think 99% of the people in Africa need to be taught how to deal with crisis.

I remember being told by someone they were asked to contribute N500 each towards a Government led NYSC foundation when they served the nation in 2010. I do not know if the foundation collected this amount from previous batches.

Approximately 2000 corpers serve in each state per batch.

2000 x 36 = 72,000 corpers per batch.

Approximately 3 batches a year as at 2010, reveals

72,000 x 3 = 216,000 per year

If they have kept this up till now, that's 7 years

216,000 x 7 years = 1,512,000 cummulative corpers served in the last 7 years.

Now if each of them donated N500, you have
1,512,000 x 500 = N756,000,000 (Roughly 700 million after tax and additional expenses).

The government decides to give corpers in 2017 only 1/7 of it.

Someone explain what is happening? I might be wrong but the NYSC foundation should be richer than what they are offering.

Nightwolf1:
The threat was given to igbos no yorubas why wud he panick? water neva pass garri yet

The question is, how would they tell the difference? I assume igbos who even speak hausa could trick them better than a yoruba man who can speak neither igbo nor hausa.

Siscooh:
I didn't misunderstand. I got you 100%
You blamed Nigerians for always regretting and criticizing the choices they make but you used the opportunity to shade Buhari and Efe. I am French major but I understand that English

See my post at 10:46pm. Thanks.

Siscooh:
Your literature can't change this. Efe is a favoured child. Buhari is chosen. The future is pregnant. So don't be quick to see NOTHING in Efe and our President's reigns.Thank you

I think you grossly misunderstood the literature. you may want to see my last post on this thread for clarity before making the bolded assertion. Thanks for reading though.

Jaykolo10:
Guy just chill and check what you are saying they elected him to win the show not to come and be a fucking ambassador cause the show is just meant for fun not an endorsement for any thing...... Even we naija we gats wake up and see dat this country needs to be reborn.
.....
I STAND FOR THE REBIRTH OF NIGERIA.......

The show is over, dude has a life too. I understand your point but you need to understand how governance is run. Ambassadorial positions are usually given to people who have had major influence on the people they have been appointed to represent. Such influence is expected to be positive. However, in this case, the Nigerian government is just capitalizing on the popularity Efe enjoys with a majorly Nigerian youth populace, in the hopes he could use his personality (which the Nigerian youth claimed they loved about him on the show) to influence the youths positively with a more dignified outside house persona.

Ever wondered why beauty pageant winners are made ambassadors for culture and stuff? Typically beauty should have nothing to do with those sorts of positions but its how governance is run and ambassadorial appointments of this kind are made, on the ability to influence.

Notwithstanding, I do agree with you that there might be better options for that position, However, there isnt a huge support from Nigerian youths themselves for more enlightening programs in the country, too bad it took a show like Big Brother to grab their attention init? Trust me the reaction from government would have been same if over 10 million Nigerians who voted on Big Brother would also watch the Cowbell Maths Competition. Before we point hands at government the Nigerians also need to set their priorities straight. Tough luck you might say but yeah that's exactly the point we share: Nigeria needs to be schooled in a lot of things.

Nigerians seem to criticize everything and I wont blame them due to the ineptitude and gross incompetence of the leaders same Nigerians elected. Oh yeah? Well the blame is with y'all! Don't you guys see there is actually a problem with the majority of Nigerians?

When the Big Brother show was aired, you guys supported Efe like he was some mini-god and eventually he won, now you guys claim he isn't sophisticated enough to be your ambassador?

This is the same way you folks voted for Buhari and almost killed each other to ensure he won. Now you complain about the very same person you voted for?

Just like in Buhari's election case, I kept asking people what they saw in Efe while the voting was on and they didnt even know why they supported him. Some said he was real, but when asked to substantiate or define 'Real', they couldn't give an answer. I presume most of them just went with the crowd hype I guess.

Nigerians!!! What is wrong with you? What do you really want? When will you learn? Can't you see you are the architect's of your own misfortunes? I have studied the psyche of you lot and seen that what you guys practically do is raise someone to the very top and then hate them for being on top.

Change before its too late. Stop letting emotions becloud your sense of good judgement. Channel your support wisely.

Waspy:
This right here, is the undoing of the Black race
Only wish you can copyright this very piece..... If it's actually your intellectual property

Some of the churches in Nigeria need to be more accountable for the sermons they preach to our brethen. Most people in Nigeria live their lives believing they have a score to settle with the devil and everyone around them. So they take the slightest opportunity to put someone else down very seriously that they have coined nationally acclaimed phrases like : I pass my neighbour, My case is different, Borrow pose, Pepper dem gang, Who you epp and many others. This is insidious to say the least, as these people aren't fully aware of the impression they are leaving on the upcoming generation.

austinosita:

1. Don't tell the world:

2. Don't get involved in office politics:

3. Don't live extravagantly:

4. Save and Invest:

5. Don't show off or taunt people:

6. Pay your tithe and be charitable:

7. Finally, live a responsible life.

Well tbh, I don't exactly agree with half of your list. This is the sort of advice that would have worked in the 1960s for the Baby boomer generation. We are currently in generation Z and things are done differently around the world now.

MY RESPONSE TO YOUR POINTS

1. My response: TELL THE SMART WORLD. I say tell the world, but tell the smart world. Anyone who clearly isn't happy with your growth in life is not worthy to sit 10 meters from you. You don't intend to hide every detail of your life forever, it would limit your growth. How do you network and find bigger jobs in the future if you have to hide your career life? Don't be ashamed of your success, you have earned it. I have always told anyone who cares to listen, Anyone in your life who you constantly have to hide your successes from due to fear of their envy is not (and would never be) worthy to be your friend.

2. My response: GET INVOLVED IN OFFICE POLITICS. As a matter of fact in current day, you should get involved in Office Politics if you want to bond with the older workers. If you don't, they are most likely to see you as a potential snitch or a coward they can kick around. The advice you should have given again is, Move Smartly. Choose your sides wisely or maintain an air of co-operation, however be sharp enough to know when to pull away at the right time.

3. My response: LIVE SMARTLY. Asking people not to live an extravagant life is a bit vague as it is relative and can't really be substantiated what extravagance is really too much. It's like asking Davido not to live the way he does, living that way is part of his publicity for him to demand more money when he is called for shows, same goes for Floyd money mayweather, he charges really high for an advertorial. Therefore asking people to live below their means is mostly pessimistic advice as this would be asking people to live a lie. Even though (I believe) your intentions are good, the title doesn't do it any justice.What you should have written is 'Live smartly'. It doesn't matter how you live but how your living makes you act. As long as you remain nice to people, I dont think anyone would have a problem with your new life except of course envious people (see what you do to them in my response number 1). If you make 20 million a month and live in Ajegunle, you would have to constantly deal with touts, so if you move to an area that befits your current lifestyle, Ajegunle folks might accuse you of being a show off. However, the folks in the new location would not classify your move as a show off, if you don't move you may never overcome certain boundaries in life, you have to bear in mind that there would always be those who think you are a show off even when you are just living your normal life. It depends on the people you have relationships with and their backgrounds or mindsets. Tboss from BBN was thought to be a show off because she was in a house full of people who weren't used to her lifestyle, it doesn't make her a show off, she was only on the wrong show or environment. However, keep in mind, You will never grow in life if you hide your talents like a lamp under a bushel. If you must work for anyone, work only for or with people who are happy about your growth and happiness. Or be your own boss. Trust me, no matter how much you take home every month, you will never be happy or fulfilled if you have to cover up every happy moment in your life just so your boss and your friends could be pleased.


4. My response: INVEST IN YOURSELF. You gave good advice however, life isn't guaranteed. You know what they say: Life is short. I would say purchase utilities rather than spending on mundane stuff that doesnt improve you. So technically, I'm saying invest in yourself would be the way to go. Go to the gym, eat healthy(believe me life can do a number on ya if you are found lacking in this department), read more about your career, attend exhibitions and conferences that would build your personality. You want to be your own boss someday. Find out what resources are available in your company that you can use in developing yourself in preparation for that day when you have to leave and do your thing. So, bottom line, you can spend money anyway you want but spend it on things that make your job and life balance easier. If you go save all your money and not invest in developing yourself. You would end up at 60 with 10 plots of land but having to treat a life threatening ailment or missing out on a promotion or better position at another job elsewhere due to your lack of professional development over the years.



5. My response: LIVE YOUR LIFE AND CARE LESS ABOUT HATERS. I agree not to taunt people, but the point you made is not totally exclusive to having a job. Many people are ill-willed from birth, such people wouldn't necessarily change because they got a job. I don't exactly understand what you could possibly show off in this case that someone somewhere doesn't already have. See my response to number 3 above.

6. My response: BE CHARITABLE IN FINANCE BUT MORE IN INTELLECT SHARING. Good advice, be charitable to those who need help. Even if you dont have a sh*t load of money, advice from an experienced fellow is golden to a newbie. The world would be a better place if more actually successful people than scammers were out and about, giving free advice to our youth.

7. Finally, live a responsible life.
My response: Yes live responsibly and your chances of eventually dying responsibly is a possibility. Good advice.