hustla:

Lol, no I don’t have

Gloriouscrown:
Hello Mamas, please can you recommend thick tights for my 4+ daug. Her teacher said she struggles to pull up the tights I wear for her. She usually wears 2 because I want her to be warm enough, so after pulling up the first one she leaves the second at her ankle. I need suggestions for thick tights that would give her sufficient warmth without me having to double it. Thanks.
Cc mamatukwas, mimylyrics, LagosismyHome et Al.

Yup use one. Mark’s & Spencer do good quality and have thermal ones. Check them out.

babythug:
I watched the film blue story yesterday! It really resonated with me because I have teenage sons. Thankfully we don’t live in the ghettoish part of the Uk. However I’m keen to learn tips to avoid them being influenced by peers to learn bad behaviour etc. for now i just threaten them lol . Any body with tips?

Haven’t seen the movie but I’m keen to hear what those with older kids are doing as well.

For now what we’ve done is stay away from places with any bad influence. Our home environment is sane, their school is very sane and we instill our home values as much as possible.

My kids are all below 10 though. I hear as they grow older it’s a different ball game.

isialo:
Im' widowed and coming to the UK hopefully by Sept. with my 2 kids ages 6 and 10.
Do I require sole custody order or my late Husband's death cert can suffice. Secondly, how easy is it for a parent with kids without the other partner to school and work in UK.

Your candid opinion is highly solicited please.

To add to what @mumzt said. Your kids will be in school full day. You should be reasonably okay with schooling. But as you’re not legally allowed to do more than 20hours during term time, I’ll advice you come with as much cash as possible for when you can’t work.

Plus start early to gain skills and position yourself for remote work. That way you can manage.

Akorkor:
My people, please make una help me too. I have not even spent one month in the UK, and I was advised to call the police.

I moved to this house recently, and since I came in, I noticed an influx of people besides my flats. Some guys are there selling drugs, but it's not my concern. A council lady came and dropped her card. She requested I call her, which I did, and she asked if I had noticed any strange activities in the house, but I answered NO that what I saw was the untidiness around the stairs. Because I feel she may even be working with them.
So last week, I bought a camera always to see the people dropping my packages and ensure we are at least secure. I didn't face the camera towards the step but just opposite my door. This evening I came back from work, lo and beheld the camera was expunged. I quickly called the agent, and she told me the Council is actually on the matter of that house that I should calm down, and she will get back to me. She call me back that I should inform the police. Now my question is, I am scared to start calling the police—something I have never done in my life, even when in Nigeria. I am scared. What do you think I should do? Call the police or hold on?

If I remember correctly you have kids or are expecting them to come join you abi? Doesn’t sound like an environment that is family friendly. Call the police and start looking for new accommodation ASAP!

CowbellY:


I heard turkey has "quality" things. Then I came here, went to a supposed shoe store in a "big" mall and they had fake Nikes.

Did the ‘shoe store’ have Nike on the front?

zeb04:


Thank you for replying me. It is the same job but they didn’t go ahead to officially give me an offer letter. However this year, actually this night i got the job offer with 28k salary.

I am am married so me, my husband and my daughter(3+ years old. She will be 4 by December)


My husband and child will remain in Nigeria until i sort myself out as regards accommodation, school for my daughter and the rest. So within 3 months they would be joining me.

[b]Breakfast schoo[/b]l?…… got it. I will check that out.

Breakfast Club*. Congratulations.

Vicas2000:


I currently do this with my Son and he understands yoruba fluently and can speak in the correct accent decently for his age.

Here's what I did:

1. Only speak in Yoruba at home. The first 1-2 month will be hard for you, but you MUST make conscious effort.

2. For children who don't currently speak, you say things in English and then repeat it in Yoruba for every sentence. This is very important. You have to do this over and over and over again.

3. When it's raining, I sing "Ojo nro...sere ninu ile", when I am bathing him, I sing "we ki o mo, get ekana re". When driving in the car, I sing "Labe igi orombo" I make this constant practice etc.

4. Teach them body parts. e.g. Head, shoulder knees & Toes (then you proceed to teach other things). The other day, I saw a flower on our way back from school, I simply said to him...Ki leleyi? he goes...flower...I said...Ododo....and asked him to repeat it (note - I say this in yoruba to him).

5. I do a 30 minutes class for my son weekly. We have Alawiye (I got someone to buy it from Nigeria). I also bought some yoruba books on Amazon (e.g. "Iresi was nile" is a good one), and we read it 1 - 2 weekly. I would do more, but I am always very busy with work.

6. I never ever speak English (except when I am angry with what the they do, and my "Englishness" switches in). It's always Yoruba. Even to the toddler who can't speak yet, I say everything to him in Yoruba. At 1, he understands "was gba" (come and take).

7. Sign up to "cultureTree" on Youtube, they have some decent songs in Yoruba (if you are Yoruba). There are some great Igbo youtube channels too.

8. I am a sucker for King Sunny Ade, Ebenezer Obey (and even have some old Vinyl records owned by my dad and inherited by me), so I play them on my Turntable and I sing it. My son (4 years) sings "asiko mi tito" by Ebenezer Obey (not very fluently, but he understands it and dance to it.

9. Teach them Yoruba alphabets. Let them know how different it is from the English Alphabets.

10. Watch Yoruba movies with them. No, I don't mean "Yorubawood" Those ones are trash. Look for deep-rooted amazing Yoruba films e.g. Any Tunde Kelani or Kunle Afolayan based yoruba movies should be ideal.

11. Patience: You must be patient. You must be resilient. You must keep at it, when you do, after one year, it will pay off.


My goal is to ensure my kids can speak very fluently with a proper Yoruba accent (without Britishness) and be able to read and write it without any issues. I don't even bother teaching them English. They will learn that without stress in school.

Love it so much!!! Well done. You’ve given me ginger to try harder.

LagosismyHome:


I don't know about relate but they handled my affairs when I was doing limited company. Very good and efficient. I send you their info

Thank you Mama. Received.

mex551:
Ancestors,

I have a question. I don't seem to understand healthcare in the UK. Maybe cos of where we are coming from. I got across to my GP since last Monday complaining of acute waist pain and pain In my left knee, spoke with the Dr following day and he said he was recommending xray. On Wednesday. no show, I called again requesting to book to see dr. For a different reason, did that the following day and reminded them that I am yet to see any report or request for xray, he told me that he has forwarded the request to University hospital and that I should. E patient.

My question is, if I no fit waka again nko? Plus the excruciating pains, will I wait for ages before them attend to me? Is that how they operate here?

If na naija, at least you walk into any hospital and you are attended to.

Please what do I do? Is there any pain reliever apart from Paracetamol which I brought from Naija that I can buy easily from a shop ?

Just to add, I have been taking vitamin D and c since I relocated as recommended here sometime ago

Cocodemol. You can get in boots. Sorry about the pain. If it becomes unbearable consider going to Emergency.

Good morning ya’ll.

Does anyone have a plug for a good accountant please? I haven’t been lucky with finding one so far. If you know a good person that can relate with me at my beginner level please forward details my way.

Thank you.

Bluetherapy:

Like which places?

Turkey isn't far and there js eVisa for BERP holders.

General market go to Istanbul. Even Istanbul get level tbh

For higher end clothing Ankara is better.

However you should be able to find 95% of what you need in Istanbul unless you have exacting taste.

ameryzzy:


Okay.... so can I apply for visit visa for my sister while applying for my student visa?

You can but it might be better to get yours first then apply for her especially if you’re the one sponsoring. If she can apply on her own for a visiting visa then both applications can go on simultaneously.

LagosismyHome:


I have some friends who did this. One was even on 10 years path , and they didn't do at all for their 3 kids..... can you blame them . The home office fee is too much and when they got to ILR , it was absolutely fine to get the children citizenship... as long as the child is born in the UK

Any child born in the UK potentially have legal status worse case when the child is 7yrs for ilr or 10yrs for citizenship so on that basis home office is fine with it.. They might not have an official visa per say but they are allowed legally .... It just that if there a wedding in naija or a holiday trip. You can't take them out of the country ...

Wawu. I never knew this. You learn everyday.

dupyshoo:
People used to do it if they don't plan to take the child outside the UK. A child that has never left UK is not here illegally. Only people that entered the UK can be here illegally.

I see….

omopapa:
Someone that lives in Nigeria told me UK clothes are of better quality than the US. How true?

To the question, maybe the tax differences

US is a mixed market. You get the very good and the terrible. In the UK standards are stricter. To get terrible you most likely have to go on ali express or wish etc. So when people back home really want quality the perception is that you’re better off sticking to the UK to be safe.

hustla:



I think turkey too is cheap especially for cotton clothes

Made some research about it

Turkey is great. If you know where to go you can get some really really fantastic clothes for less than UK prices.

fatima04:


It doesn't influence ILR ir citizenship especially for Tier 2 visa holders
. [b]The major advantage to not adding her to your visa [/b]is saving Tier 2 visa fees, biometric fees, ILR and reduced citizenship cost. Adding this up for the child could be almost £4000 or more depending on how long you have got before you are due for ILR.

If you don't intend travelling out of the UK with her anytime soon. You can chill and if you see a need then simply apply.

The baby would not be denied care or schooling for any reason as she was born here.

I didn’t even know it was possible to birth a child and not list them as your dependent. What then is the basis of their legal stay in the Uk? What visa will they be on?

Ticha:


Ah boarding in 9ja ke? No my sis. It'll be better to spend all summer holidays back home. It might feel like just 6 weeks but it is a good length of time. Especially if you have close family members you can send them to.

Gaskiya we no plenty abroad at all. I know 2 in the UK both from Niger State. Something funny happened to me a few months after we came to New Zealand. The driving here is bonkers. A 9ja level bonkers. People drive like serious agberos. One afternoon, I was heading out and someone drove very dangerously (by my standards of course ) almost crashing into me. I swerved, shouted ubanka and did waka at him. Na so, the guy swerved and started tail gating me. In my head, I said, 'I don buy market o. Person go beat me today!'

I found parking, got my phone out and had 11 open ready to dial. The guy parked behind me and this black guy jumped out, left his door open and shouted, 'Yarwa!' He gave me the biggest hug. Na so we blow Hausa for ages! He's from Kano and said he'd not met another Northerner since being in NZ. He's been here 17 years now! Married to a Kiwi woman with 5 children and we've become quite close.

Awww, that’s a sweet story. The guy was too excited to be vexed

MabraO:


Children raised here without shouting are worst then their Counterpart in Nigeria.
You must be a good parent and teach your kids discipline that’s is what is lacking in uk all kids lack discipline and common sense is very far from them.

That is a very general statement to make. I’ve seen very well brought up and well behaved caucasian children, ditto Nigerian children raised here.

By all means discipline your child. All kids need it. But the truth is, that discipline must not come via shouting or hitting. There are other ways to discipline children.

Keep an open mind and remain teachable.

Ticha:



Few things I do:

1. Everyone calls them by their traditional names. They also call themselves by those names as well. At school, they use their first names which are English names but everyone - in-laws, friends, neighbours. They will correct people who pronounce their names wrongly as well which I love.
I enforce the Nigerian respect with a few allowances. So they can't call any adult by name. Some very close friends (very few) are Aunty and Uncle. Everyone else is Mr, Mrs or Miss. They must without fail greet anyone that walks into our home and respond when greeted. I encourage them to refuse body contact as they wish ie hugs, hand shakes.

2. Our night time reading includes books from home. We're currently reading Passport of Mallam Illiya. I talk about the north (which is where I am from), we locate the different places on the map and as I speak Hausa very fluently - I teach them some words in Hausa as well.

3. We have a library full of books from home and other African and African American writers. Their hands down favourite books are the Binti Series by Nnedi Okoroafor and she writes comics too which my husband loves.

4. We eat a wide variety of food and I always link it back to similar foods back home with the proper names and pronunciation.

5. All my work clothes - without exception are made from Ankara and so are their clothes. Luckily they don't wear uniform at their school either.

6. We schedule a 2 weekly video call with my siblings. It lasts for several hours and no, we just don't sit and talk. We do our normal household things as well. It means they have some sort of glimpse into life at home, see their cousins in their own home and space. This weekend's call, my sister was having a small get together so we participated virtually. There was all the greeting, singing, shouting - you know what our gatherings are like

7. I try to find suitable movies to watch - this is bit trickier as majority are not kid friendly at all. So we watch SA movies too.

8. I have very close Nigerians and African friends that share similar values. Luckily for me, I can speak a few Nigerian languages so will often speak Yoruba (by far the largest number of Nigerians I've met abroad), Hausa, Idoma (very rare to find them), Igala with friends we visit.

Little steps - it's not quite enough but we'll get there. We do have plans to go live in 9ja for about 2 years in the future. Of course that totally depends on employment opportunities as I can't imagine living at home and blowing through our savings for 2 whole years!

This was very good @Ticha thanks! Saving for later.

Safeob27:
Hi guys , I might be wrong o but based on research, there are a lot of catholic schools in the Uk and most times they have the best ofsted rating . Is it possible for a non-catholic child to be accepted ? Or its strictly for practicing catholic families

It might vary depending on where you live. In my council you need to present a catholic baptismal certificate to be given preference. Otherwise you ask for placement and you’ll be considered last after non-Catholics.

kaylov12:


What is written isn't exactly as it happens behind closed doors believe me.
When it's OFSTED INSPECTION TIME, the whole school run kitikiti and katakata. 100% of the times its not the case.

I feel you. I agree with a lot of what you’ve said. The ginger in state schools here is quite low. Teachers seem to be more interested in making sure no one feels ‘bad’ as opposed to challenging the students.

The koko as you’ve said already holds true: Parents should be very involved in their child’s learning activities and support as much as possible. If you can afford private, go for it.

fatima04:


Agreed at all you said. One [b]needs to do research [/b]and all properly when choosing schools. It may not be easy for new migrants moving in with older kids and just accepting what the council allocates. But ensure you don't restrict yourself.
it.

I 100% agree. I was obsessed with researching schools for my kids months before we arrived. When we moved here my husband couldn’t understand why I said no to many rentals till I found one in the right catchment. Research is key.

kaylov12:
So many topics to discuss on this thread but please can we discuss the PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM.

Most Naija parents feel they get quality education cheaply here which mostly is not the case.
I am a secondary school maths teacher and I weep for these children. Lack of motivation, apathy, to mention a few.

Asides creating a safe and enabling environment for students to learn, PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN UK AREN'T ANY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE IN NIGERIA.

Parents need to be more involved in their children's education.

Is this if you compare Public to Public or Public here to Private in Naija? Also are you in England or Scotland?

I agree with you oh, just need some clarity about the comparison.

LagosismyHome:


Taking the children... mentally its the same as jail term

Or worse.

isaacola57:
If someone beats his child what will happen.. Cuz I don't want spoilt children

Your child can go to school sad, be questioned in school = problem for you up to and not excluding incarceration.

Your child could be hurt and need medical attention = double wahala for you.

Your child’s confidence might be affected if you beat them constantly in this environment.

Not saying you can’t loose it and smack them on rare occasions but the target is to completely eliminate the need to use force.

babythug:
Glad for a thread like this. I have three boys and I’m worried lest they pick up the typical British waywardness..
I find many of us Nigerians myself inclusive don’t encourage our children to speak our local languages. The Asians and Indians/Pakistanis do that a lot. It may help the children remember that we are actually Africans and help in this training/raising our children that we are discussing

The language issue gives me headache I won’t lie. I’ve heard the way is to speak the language you want them to learn exclusively at home but it’s not easy. People that are doing it successfully should show us the way.

Something I Just Remembered:

If you’re just arriving the UK, please note that most things here take time and follow procedure. So for instance if you want to see a doctor or even sign your kids up for swimming, you’ll be amazed that there is a very long wait list especially since Covid.

Don’t do the normal naija thing and wait till the last minute to book your slot. Call and register interest for swimming, music, football, even your GP early (excluding emergencies of course), so that you can join the queue. This folks no dey hear abeg oh

Mamatukwas:
I’ve been trying to hold this to myself but I can’t any longer…. I really really want fresh naija ground nut Who can help me please? I’m happy to pay.

The groundnut here tastes like sadness & desperation. Sigh. Just signify and I’ll be in your dm quicker than flash. Or DM me. Thank you.

Here to announce that I just took delivery of super fresh gnuts from Naija. Lagos to Scotland transit time was approximately just < 2 weeks but they are still so fresh! I’m in Heaven

mumzt:


Yes, we all need to unlearn and relearn this shouting issue.

The noise in naija sef won't allow us talk normal. �

Nigeria is chaotic. When I first moved here, I kept wondering why everyone was whispering. Their tone is so soft and low. We can just be unnecessarily loud sha

cdieli:
We live in a three bed flat ohhhh. After the police finished questioning the kids, If Daddy and Mummy beat them. The police apologized that the mail they received is very malicious, that the children they are seeing are well behaved and taken care off

Personally, if you can afford it. Avoid flats if you have small kids. Neighbours can be nosy + kids can be very noisy. So if you get bad neighbors it will be a constant tug of war. Thank God you guys escaped without issue.

There’s a current case now trending in Sheffield where social workers have taken away a couples 2 kids and there’s the threat that her unborn child will be taken too! Have you guys heard about it? The story is too long but so sad.