₦airaland Forum

ImaIma1:
The truth is that the case was none of the mother's business and she was not directly provoked by her DIL. Something that is not major.

What if she witnessed her son and DIL fighting and she insulted him? She would have cut cane and flogged her.

Seriously people should know their boundaries... young or old.

I have been married for a few years. I just don't give my in-laws the allowance to insult me.

True words. Mama should have excused herself and left, or kept silent, even if the son did not ensure she left first. It was none of her business. Mama should never have slapped her daughter in law. It was extremely disrespectful. An assault on the wife is an assault on the entire family. So he sent away the wife that was giving him transport money to go to work? I'm guessing his Mum gives him pocket money now huh?
The man is inexperienced. His extended family is too much involved in his immediate family affairs. That is a recipe for disaster.

eventsmallchops:
by the grace of God my children will not go through this please.

FWIW, Then do what is necessary to ensure their future is secure. God has already freely given his grace to all. It is up to you and others to ensure it is not wasted. However, Faith without works is useless.I wish you the best in your job search.

ImaIma1:
Lol... nobody should be slapping anybody. Everyone keep your hands to yourself. It is domestic violence

This is absolutely true. But I blame the man and his lack of wisdom and foresight for allowing this to happen. If I were in his shoes, I would have allowed my Mum to depart first, then invite the irate woman in to make her case. What good could have come out of a stranger flinging accusations at your wife in front of your mother who already bears a grudge on the matter at hand? I guess you haven't been married for long huh? An experienced man can smell trouble coming a mile off and change course to avoid it.

eventsmallchops:
I'm not interested in politics, source of survival for my family is all I want, I can move anywhere to work as long as I will get a space to sleep at night , ask me any question please and I will answer if you want to help with a job to take care of my family.

This right here is a teachable moment! You claim to be disinterested in one of the most important things within your power that can start to rectify the deplorable situation that you and many other families find themselves in. Please do not underestimate the power of your vote. This opportunity comes but once in 4 years. Send a message to the awful politicians both in power and seeking for power!
I know this is not your immediate concern, but think long term. If you do not do something now, your children may suffer the same fate to which you are subject today.

Angela777:
when you talk about very expensive investment or lots of money for Americans to move to live abroad, you sound like a poor fellow, sorry. The income of $2,500 is a very low income in US and anybody can earn that.
Another thing I mentioned is a FREELANCER visa, means you can work online or for an American company living abroad and it is LEGAL. Illegal is to accept the employment without work permit. Freelance visa is for independent workers, if you have your blog or job online, you are authorized to do see and you get a self independent Freelancer visa which doesn't need the job sponsor. If you show you make $800-2.500 USD (depends of the country) working online or painting art, making crafts, writing books, etc., you qualify for a Freelancer visa as you don't take jobs from local people and you earn to support yourself being independent. I lived in so many countries and visited even more, so I am speaking from my own experience as well yet publishing some links as to show it works.

BTW I wasn't speaking about YOU as a person, it was a figure of speach saying to all who thinks it's impossible for Americans to go to live in so many countries. It wasn't anything personal, anything about YOU.

The income of $2,500 you speak about is mostly tied to soc sec earnings for retirees. And BTW, freelancer permits, like applies in Dubai are meant for residents who are already there legally. I may sound like a poor fellow to you when I speak of investments. But since you are speaking in generalities, I'm sure you know that the average American cannot afford the types of investments that qualify for visa status. $250k, $500k. The average American cannot even afford to miss one pay check, case in point what's going on with the govt shut down.

Nothing to gain by continuing this back and forth. Neither is oblidged to accept the others point of view. But you do talk a big game, mostly generic. I've been around long enough to recognize a Texan!

Beautyaddy:
Huh, the Canada of five years ago is no longer the case now.

The current Prime minister existing now is changing all that restrictions with immigration and development that the past prime minister subjected Canada to in the past.

I know a number of people even with their US citizenship made the move to Canada.

I agree that the OP should not consider Canada. There are lots more diverse opportunities in the U.S.
Jobs in certain fields tend to be concentrated in few locations in Canada and if and when there is a recession, it will be difficult to find another.
The only situation when I recommend anyone with a professional degree to migrate from the U.S. is when you are sent by an American company as an Expat worker.

Angela777:
Not true. What for you is a lot of money to invest, for us are peanuts. What for you is hard to find a job or to pay a lawyer to extend stay or to get a work permit, for an American is a common sense and not expensive. There are countries which ask for $800-2,500 USD monthly income for to show and get your visa long term or residence, any average American can show more than that and move and also work online or from home which many of us do. Any monthly income working from home or online covers this kind of income for to live in any other country. So easy to move abroad but many of us have family, kids studying in US, our property, house, car, all kind of comfort and a better job in US, so not everybody wants to move to another country.

The bolded portion of your response is indecorous considering that you know absolultely nothing about me. Why would you assume what I can or cannot afford and presume that an American would consider something common sense vs. a Nigerian citizen? Please desist from making this discourse personal. I will only discuss facts and figures and encourage you to do the same.

What makes you think that the average American can come up with $2,500 at the drop of a hat? Lots of stats out there that show that an average American is hard pressed to come up with even $400 for an emergency. Most will lean on their credit cards and that's a fact!
You keep glossing over the legality of what you have described. It is illegal to work in a foreign country without a work visa or permit. The purpose of proving you have a steady income of $2,500 is to ensure that you can survive without working. Income from working online will be illegal and does not qualify unless you are a permanent resident.

So far, I have spoken from my direct experience in similar situations not online articles written by travel agents. If you go back a few posts, you will see where I mentioned that I manage people in several countries and have experience moving them around, including to and from the U.S. And BTW, I am both an American and a Nigerian and know for a fact that your assertions are not entirely acccurate.

Angela777:
Now UAE, Dubai and Bahrain like to hire US citizens and pay much more than American companies pay back at home, also life there is very comfortable

You links are validating my points. You need a visa to stay long term beyond the terms of the VWP. For self sponsorship, you will need lots of cash to invest .... or retirement income. If you need to work to survive, you need a work visa which is sponsored by an employer.

Angela777:
It is easy, not only for retirees, work, business or visit first and extend your stay, some income, not too much for an American, many live in countries where is the good internet and work online or open a small business, Europe (UK, Germany, Spain on the easy side), Asian countries happy to have Americans living in their country, Latin America too, Canada etc. Please, research and you would be surprised how is it. The things is many of us not going because our salaries in America are bigger, that's why mostly retirees are moving.

I am interested to know under what visa category these Americans are living and working or running a small business? I maintain that it is not easy for an individual, except you are on an international transfer from a local American company that will get you a work visa or you are a retiree. I work for a global company with presence in 160 countries around the world. I manage people all around the world including folks who are transferred back and forth. There is no easy legal route. And note that you are only allowed to visit for a finite amount of time on the VWP. You will need an actual visa to stay and work. No job offer in the foreign country, no visa. And note that it is illegal for an individual to work online for renumeration while on the vwp except it is on a business visit tied to an American company. I know the games Americans play with extending their visit/stay in Thailand and oither Asian countries. It's still illegal to work. If you are caught, you will be deprted and forever inelligible for vwp in the future.

Angela777:
Why Nigeria? As an US citizen you can go to live in almost any country in the world, Europe many, Caribbean, Latin America, Asia. Thailand is cheap and relaxing, good food too or go to Spain, Italy. Better chose the country where is a good internet and power always on.

This is a misconception. American citizens cannot easily/legally go live in almost any country in the world. Visit, Yes! Live NO! You will need to get an appropriate visa to go live in any of those countries you mentioned. On a scale of low to high difficulty, the Asian and Caribbean countries are on the low end while Europe is more difficult. An easier way to do this is through a retirement visa which entails proving a certain level of income or investment, and you may need to be over 50 to qualify. In his situation, he will need to move by means of a work visa to earn income and support his family in any of those countries. Not a fairly easy task even for an American citizen.

Reeses:
So sir,if I may ask what state within the country is currently best for my situation to relocate to?

I cannot ascribe any such wisdom to myself as to think I am in a position to correctly prescribe a city for you to move to. However, I can attempt to equip you with some knowledge to help you decide. First, you said you are married with a kid. You need to put on your husband and father hats and keep them on permanently going forward, even as you think through this. What does your wife think about Texas and what is her opinion about relocating again? Does she have a job in Texas? Will she need to find another job if you move? Will you have any family support where you move to and do you have any in Texas? She needs to be carried along in this decision for y'all to be happy.

How about your child. What grade is your child in? I will advice that you set this child's education as a high priority in the sense that you choose a place that has very good/ high performing public school districts. The flip side is to eliminate any options with poor schools. If you move to a place with poor public schools, you will end up sending your child to private school which will drain your funds.

For quality of life, look at options with a major airport. This makes traveling easier especially if you're missing Nigeria and need to visit there ocassionally. Avoid cities known for high traffic that don't have good public transportation options. Most major cities carry Nigerian foods at least in Asian markets so look out for that. I have known folks that were miserably after moving for a high paying job because they couldn't get Nigerian food.

You, haven't really mentioned why you are unhappy in Texas. Ask yourself if this could be a fleeting or temporary feeling. Could you possibly feel diffferent in a couple months? Six months? Since you moved there recently, I'd say give it some time. Like I said, Texas is a whole different country, it takes getting used to.

Reeses:
Hey I really appreciate taking your time to give me a whole lots of advice that will surely go a long way to help knock down few of the headache I'm currently having ..I recently move from PA to Texas though but might be looking to make a move again because I am not liking here that much.But thanks much will take a few of your advice up..

You're most welcome and I wish you the best as you determine next steps for your future in this great country.

I haven't met many Nigerians besides myself, and now you, who do not like Texas. I especially dislike Houston, it's a concrete Jungle with hardly any redeeming attributes. I like Dallas better but as a whole, Texas does not appeal to me. It's a an entirely different country

But I must ask you this. What makes you think you will like Nigeria if you are currently not liking Texas? One of my biggest reasons for not caring much for Texas, Houston especially is it's "Nigerian Factor". I'm curious if this is a a factor in your feelings.

Reeses:
I will need you guys honest answer to this my desperate questions. I am 32yo us citizen and married and I have a CS degree. I miss Nigeria so much and would like to know if it is advisable to move back from America to Nigeria because I am very tired of working and paying bills it's becoming a nightmare that might not end soon. Thanks

I sympathize with the way you feel about America. I have been in your positon in the past but quickly found a workaround/workable solution. At a point in time, I was longing for the carefree/lackadaisical nature of life I experience when I visit Nigeria and also missing seeing my people on a daily basis. Like you, I have a family here and felt stuck. First, perish the thought of moving back to Nigeria without a concrete plan. You will regret it. Visiting life is a lot different from permament living in Nigeria. Those foreigners you see getting on planes everyday are going to Nigeria to make money, in many cases to rape the economy. A vast majority of them are not going there to stay permanently. One thing that pissed me off about Nigeria is the opoportunities that were provided to foreigners that were not made available to Nigerians. For example, when I worked in the Nigerian Oil industry with a 5 year technical degree from a first rate university, my fellow managers who were white either had high school diplomas or two year technical school diplomas. They would hire masters degree holders with many years of experience to report to these folks who were there by virtue of being "Oyinbo". What I'm trying to tell you is that white priviledge does exists in Nija. Don't think you will easily get the effortless pickings/fat juicy opportunies with low risk that these guys get.

Its easy to get overwhelmed with the routine and monotony of life in the U.S. especially if you live in one of the cold weather states where a typical Nija man is stuck indoors for the better part of winter. The solution is to travel. One benefit of being a U.S. citizen is that most of the world is open to you for travel without the hassels of getting a visa. Start by travelling within the U.S. You can arrange travel around your kids school schedule. Lots of "quick trip" opportunities within the school year for long 3-5 day weekend trips within the U.S. Spring Break is usually a week to 10 day break. Christmas break.....Thanks giving etc. Travel renews the mind and body and gives you a new perspective on life.

One more piece of advice I can give you from experience is this. The secret to living a successful working class life in America is to work hard when you're young and start building your wealth early. I'm assuming you're in a corporate job and have a 401k or IRA account with a company match? Max out your contributions and take advantage of the match. As you rise within the organization, you will get stocks and bonuses. Save and invest. Before you hit 50, you will potenially be a millionaire multiple times over. You can take an early retirement and go check out Nigeria relatively risk free at that point in time. I have a friend who did that with a $6 million portfolio (starting with modest Apple/tech stock holdings) that earns approx 180-200k per annum that he uses to finance his Nigeria/rest of the world travels in an early retirement while waiting on SS of at least $2,100 per month when he hits 62+. He built a house in Nigeria but always stays in hotels. Go figure!

One more thing, if you don't like where you live and work in America, now is the time to move someplace else within the country. Unemployment is low, wages are rising. But like always, you will find that affordale/better quality of life and long term career opportunities are more prevalent in those blasted cold weather states

Goldenboy007:
Yeah you right .. winter ain't great here but we had heavy snow last year so I am hoping this year would be light. Although it's so cold right now. Midway Ah that's far from me .. I live close to O'Hare, Des Plaines to be precise.. Well my invitation. Is still opened. Des Plaines is in North West suburb - I doubt if they have any exciting night life.

Yes, Midway unfortunately. Slim chance of Ohare when flying collectively corporate as its way too busy to accommodate us. I'm a creature of the suburbs my self. Exciting nightlife, like life in the city is many many years behind me.

Goldenboy007:
Generic email from Lufthansa.. but I know they would reach out. The least I would get an apology and hopefully they change some process.

Thanks for doing this. All of us could benefit from any potential positive change that comes out of it. However, I'm a bit of a skeptic cause I know how these things work, been in the corporate game too long. This is exactly what they want aggrieved customers to do so that they can deal with you one on one in secret and appease you at minimal cost with no real change happening. You know what works .......and what they don't want you to do? Put it out on social media with compelling proof like a video or audio ... I'm beginning to sound like a broken record on this. If you do this, they are not only dealing with you, they are dealing with their entire customer base and must make visible tangible amends in public. Twitter, Facebook, Google and YouTube were disallowed in countries like China because the govt knows these are the modern tools of change. One doesn't need to carry a gun or organize on the streets to hold up a govt or corporate organization anymore. Twitter is just as effective, perhaps even more. I wonder what our orange faced leader has put out on twitter this fine Sunday morning

cue64:
sorry to come under ur mention but Lufthansa is too far come home and see how these Indians and Chinese treat Africa even in our own Africa and understand the point he is. Trying to make.. if I work for a Chinese man and he treats me badly then I decide to leave cos I want to keep my respect is it guaranteed that i’ll Get another job in my country? If I have an issue with the India national whom I work with and the police or military in Nigeria is invited, will they ask and find out who was truly wrong before Dey pounce on me? Why do the foreigners in Africa skip queues and jump ahead at any point and our people still attend to them first before we that has been on that queue before them Once again sorry for being on ur mention but Africa in general doesn’t deserve that respect until they earn it.

Hey, no need to apologize. Participation in the discourse is highly encouraged, the more the merrier . Let's talk about the Chinese and Indians. No offense intended to any nationality, but neither of them subscribes to the philosophies I described. Have you seen how they treat their own people? Not much better than how they treat Nigerians in our country. They are only behaving the way they know how to. I am not making excuses for their behavior in Nigeria. Our authorities should enforce the laws, but we all know what's up with that. The only option open to Nigerians is self help. If workers organize and all refuse to work for these companies, maybe change will come.

As for foreigners that skip queues in Nigeria, we should call them out and disgrace them when they do so. I have done so several times when in Nigeria and it works like a charm.

Goldenboy007:
Hey let me add ... If you are ever in Chicago . pm me .. free lunch on me in some of our best restaurants.

Coincidentally, I will be in Chicago next Tuesday on a business trip, but on a tight regimented schedule. Flying into Dupage or Midway for 9am and leaving by 4pm. I always dread Chicago in the winter. Y'all don't do well with snow. Flights are often cancelled and traffic that is hellacious on a normal day becomes actual hell. But Chicago nightlife can sweet die. Lots of stories to tell from my younger days when I used to go to St. Charles and will hangout with my Japanese, South American and European consulting buddies

Beautyaddy:
Very funny.

C[b]all the Nigerian police to do what? Even they need higher authorities to be called on them with the way some of them act like animals.
[/b]
Don't be surprised that even when you get hold of those Naija police men to ask for assistance some if not most of them might end up telling you to come and pick them up to the accident scene because they have no vehicle to get them there.

I weak for my country Nigerian O! This is one of the primary reasons why tourism is dead out there. Lack of proper policing and an impartial justice system. I have been to countries that are considered much more dangerous than Nigeria, but tourism is still booming. Major difference is that they don't joke with public safety of visitors. Police is indeed your friend in some of those countries.

Ugosample:
I see your point

Unfortunately, self help is the only option available to Nigerians. Our government is too busy sharing allocations and awarding ghost contracts.
Last June, I was in traffic in Lagos in a good friends brand new car when we got hit by another car. The driver of the car that hit us was very aggressive and wanted to get physical so I asked my friend to call the police. He laughed and dismissed my suggestion and even the other driver was amused at my statement. So my friend called his buddy who is an OPC commander in the neighborhood. The guy showed up with 4 "vigilantes". It was like we poured cold water on the erring driver. He started to beg and promised to pay up sharp sharp.
If God forbid, there is a natural disaster in Nigeria, foreign nations like the U.S. will evacuate all their citizens. Nigerian govt will be waiting on aid from developed nations to assist their own citizens. May God help us all!

Ugosample:
Nigerians are being killed on the steady in the gulf

do we need videos evidence to know this?

We need audio or video evidence to be well publicized to shame the "international moral police" into action. Case in point, Jamal Kashoggi's killing in the Saudi consulate was all but covered up until audio evidence was put out there. CIA evidence of Saudi complicity was even available to U.S. authorities but they tried to cover it up until someone leaked the reports to the press.

Imagine the damage it will do to gulf tourism if someone could document and publicize some of this evidence of abuse. International media will gobble it up and run with it. This is the kind of sensational news they thrive on. The press, now including social media are indeed the fourth estate.

Ugosample:
you are validating my point...



"They can get away with it"


now the question becomes....

WHY CAN THEY GET AWAY WITH SUCH?

The answer is the basis for why African monkeys deserve no respect

It's the same reason why Africans are killed like goats in the gulf, and the diplomats, foreign office and the govt s of these jokes Africans can't do $hit, instead they are non challant incompetent and heartless

Can they kill a Chinese citizen brazenly like that?

It's the same reason why Foreign companies mistreat workers in their own country, and the useless govt can't do anything to protect its own people

I don't even want to start.....

let me just leave it at this

I understand your frustrations with the ineptitude of the Nigerian government overlords. Nigerians should use the advent of the internet and mobile phones to their advantage. Film these incidents. Post them on Instagram and you tube. That usually gets the attention of corporate and moves them to act. Many erring employees have been fired as a result of instagram posts. As one TV personality often says, cell phones are not only for taking and sending naked pictures. use it for something useful

Ugosample:
Africans in general do NOT deserve respect

This is me saying the COLD TRUTH

until we earn it, the world will continue to see us as jokers

But this is not the way they are trained, and neither is this the way they treat westerners when they are unruly and behave out of turn. These same airlines are the epitome of professionalism and decorum when they are faced with the same situations outside of Africa. They will continue to call their customers sir/ma'am, give them their dues and remain respectful. If they cannont do so, they will call in the authorities. There are definitely double standards in play. They do this because they can get away with it.

Goldenboy007:
I had the option of BA via London but it had 1 day stop over..I had only 12 days PTO, I didnt have 1 day to spare.

Why opt for a layover? I almost always fly direct from ATL or JFK on Delta except in the situations when I need to spend a few days at a layover city. I've found Delta flights on the A330 to be halfway decent, nothing spectacular for a 12-13 hour flight, but always works out well. I miss the good old days of UA direct flights from Houston on the 787. Those were pretty good too.

seyewest:
true

They will one day share this U.S. visa like gala, and Nigerians will say "wetin be dis? Who go comot go eat gala when Jollof rice and turkey dey house

TONYE001:
More?

It's a 20 year old German car! They are known for age related issues that could surface and/or be exacerbated by stressful long trips. For example, the rubber bushings in the suspension, wheel bearings, fuses, oil leakages etc. Taking along a mechanic is one thing, but better still, you should take along some critical spares. If I were you, I would replace the water pump if it has not been replaced in like 100k miles. I'm guessing its a carburetted engine being of that vintage so I would have that serviced. Check breaker points if it has that vs electronic ignition. Check readiator hoses and the radiator itself. Does it have a plastic neck vs. a metal fitting? Inspect and change air filter if needed. Take along a spare radiator hose, engine oil, power steering fluid, brake fluid, radiator coolant. Have a safe trip!

Beautyaddy:
Huh, even South African's needs US visa to travel to the US.

Yes but their B visa refusal rate at 6.4% compared to ours at almost 45% is relatively almost "guaranteed visa" status. Their refusal rate is half of that of first world countries like Italy and Australia and virtually matches Belgium and Austria. My point is that we would need to at least match SA's current status before we can be considered for visa waiver. I believe if we hit 6.4%, they will gandfather us in as per special status of our forefathers developed their land for free

seyewest:
Imagine if the visa on arrival is still applicable to Nigerians.... we no go remain for naija...

Actually, it will be the opposite. Nigerians will not be rushing to the U.S. or any other Western country if Visa on arrival/visa waiver is granted. This is because our country will be so darn good, nobody will want to leave . They will never give us until Nigeria is at least developed like South Africa.

Beautyaddy:
Huh?

That must have been almost 50 decades ago.

Not quite 50, but good guess. Even in the 80's, the British council in Ibadan was issuing visas to Ibadan residents. I recall a relative who travelled with my family geting his visa from there with relative ease.

seyewest:
Wetin concern National Assembly with U.S visa? ooohhh it has affected 1 or 2 of them.

Their resolution is completely misdirected, but at least they are showing interest in something that is a concern for some Nigerians.... perhaps because elections are coming up? I would like to believe that the motivating factor is complaints from their larger constituents and not just immediate family.

The solution is very easy and they should know it. There was a time when Nigerians could get a visa on arrival at JFK. I was a recipient of this benefit as a child many years ago. They should go and examine the difference in Nigeria's situation between those times and now. It is not rocket science. Make Nigeria great and we shall benefit from visa waiver

ibizgirl:
TEHN is functional here in nairaland. Search for them and See what they have done so far maybe you can partner with them.

Thank you. I found an official TEHN thread, last post was from August this year. I reached out on there so will see what develops from that.

sirBLUNT:
its a nigerian initiative ....
https://instagram.com/yales_initiative?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=1o9v8bseokcnn

Thank you. I will reserach the website tonight and go from there.