Techyking:
I'm here to seek advice and recommendations on what we could do better for a tourist visa interview.

Backgound:
My wife and I welcomed a baby last week and we are inviting my mum to visit for about 4 weeks. Her interview is coming up first week of September in Lagos, I don't want her to miss this opportunity. The problem is that she had gone with my Dad in March 2023 for a tourist visa and both were denied for lack of sufficient home ties.

Additionally, my inlaws went for US visa interview this August 2023 for a tourist visa to visit their new grandson and both were denied. My inlaws did everything right in my opinion, they both had very great jobs, landed property, and business and all their kids apart from my wife are in Nigeria and the VO denied them on the grounds of lack of sufficient home ties. I'm very confused regarding what the VO is seeking as evidence of home ties.

Due to the above experience from my parents and in-laws who were both denied tourist visas, I'm sharing the responses my Mum is preparing to provide the VO for your input.
Note: This time around my mum will be going for the interview alone, not with my dad as she previously did.


Answers she is preparing to provide
VO: May I have your passport
Mum: Passes her passport

VO: What do you want to go and do in the USA
Mum: I wantt to see my newly born grandson. My son and my daughter in law had a baby in August.

VO: How long do you intend to stay in the USA
Mum: I will be visiting for 4-weeks

VO: Where will you be staying is USA
Mum: I will be staying with my Son and his family in California

VO: What does he son do
Mum: He work in xxxx company as a Software Engieer

VO:
Mum:

VO: Who will be sponsoring your trip
Mum: My husband will be sponsoring imy trip. I also have some personal savings as well.

VO: What does your husband do
Mum: He is retired from Public service. He worked in our State Post Primary School Management Board as a Supervising Principal

VO: What do you do
Mum: I'm a retired secondary school principal and now work as a full-time Catechism teacher at our local parish, I am also a laity leader in the Carmelite missionary community

VO: Do you have other relatives in the US
Mum: Yes I have another son who also lives in California

VO: How many children do you have
Mum: I have x number of kids

VO: Where are all your kids
Mum: 2 in US, 1 in Canada, 1 in UK and rest in Naija

VO: What are you childred doing
Mum: Explains

VO: Why are you not travellin with your husband
Mum: He just had a surgery and was adviced not to travel now

Kindly review these proposed answers and let me know if we are missing something.

Not trying to be nosy or insinuate anything, but what is you and your spouses immigration status and how was it achieved? You don’t have to answer, just giving you something additional to consider that has come up in situations like this in the past.

Stormeverbright:


She have filed already, she just need me to come visit. Because it might take up to 2years before the filing process is complete. Thanks I will apply as for the visa, if necessary I will buy a closer appointment time.

Even though it’s possible to obtain a non immigrant visa while you have a pending immigration petition, I will advise that you think twice about it so as not to complicate your immigration process. The non immigration visa interview may possibly bring up some issues that can delay your immigration process. Why doesn’t she visit Nigeria to see you? You are in the highest priority preference for immigration so it should not take long. They may be telling you 2 years but in non Covid times, it shouldn’t take more than a year.

justwise:


Too little, that criminal deserves longer than that.

Many factors to consider aside from sentencing guidelines. It costs on average about $50,000 per annum to incarcerate a person in the US. He should go home and not cost taxpayers any further burden. He’s a good candidate for a prisoner swap… send him home to complete his sentence in exchange for a U.S. citizen in a Nigerian jail

Onefornaija24:
My primary school mate just got convicted in the USA for 36 months.

It had to do with money laundering, aza man issues about 200k USD.

He has a green card but not a citizen.

He has been in the USA since 2017.

He has 2 kids he gave birth to there with naija wife.


He impregnated an akata, akata oyibo woman gave birth while he was in prison because he was already in detention till the court conviction last week.


WILL HE BE DEPORTED after serving his jail terms?

Chai, his village people finally caught up with him. Conviction for fraud of $10,000 or more is an aggravated felony and grounds for removal for a non citizen. He can never become a citizen without a waiver and can’t even renew his green card. In fact he will most likely be removed as soon as he completes his sentence. As to paying restitution, he will likely do penal labor to start paying back immediately which he cannot possibly pay all before his sentence runs out as prisoners are paid like 15 cents per hour depending on the state.

JustwanJapa:
I appreciate your tip. Thank you!

You're welcome. To put your mind at ease, just know that there is no higher immigration category than spouse/legal children. This normally should be a slam dunk, all things being equal. Being what it is now, it will just take time, but should eventually be successful if you know exactly what to do and do it. Your husband being the petitioner is who they owe a responsibility to so he needs to drive the process.

My 2 cents. For this not to get anymore complicated than it currently is, you should not make any assumptions as to what the problem is. Your husband, who I'm assuming is in the US, should consult an immigration attorney in the US. They know how to get to the root cause of whatever the issues are and what to do to fix it. Even if you've been deemed inadmissible, there are processes/filings to fix this as the spouse of a US citizen. They have told you as much that your husband should fix it in the US. The process can be slow, convoluted and frustrating without an attorney. Tell him to get one to save himself the wahala. One thing he can do on his own is to contact his Senator to help him get more information.

Hardtotrust:


Mr. Mancala, I just logged in now to see people arguing over the matter. The main intention of the thread wasn't to collect money from anybody. I only wanted advice which I got enough and I have since overlooked the matter and moved on. That person, Imattertoo chatted me up and we had a WhatsApp conversation till a point I sent to him that my brother's medical report. That medical report is the only thing to prove to you here. If that cannot convince you enough, please no need to stretch further. Keep your money. Thank you.

Well, I’m glad you got all the advice you need, both good and bad and also glad to have been in a position to offer mine. The thread is here for posterity and many others will potentially benefit from it in the future, including these concluding conversations. I wish you the best outcomes in your future endeavors.

Hardtotrust:
Thank you dear nairalanders for your contributions. I still believe my anger wasn't out of place. Anyone in my shoe knowing the pains would have done or intended to do the same or even worse.

Having read very useful and meaningful comments here, I HEREBY CANCELLED THE THOUGHT OF ARRESTING MY FATHER OR TAKING ANY ACTION AGAINST HIM OR ANY OTHER PERSON.

I believe God who gave me the grace will still give me to do more for myself and for others including those I am not related to by blood.

I have already spoken with my father on phone and there's peace among us. I have apologized to him for whatever wrong thing I did.

Once again, thank you all for your concern. I really appreciate. If not for this thread, only God knows what would have happened next, but it's ok. I have forgiven and I have moved on.

Lastly, if you wish to support my struggle, that will go a long way for me especially at this period.

172 6061560, Access Bank, Abam Ettah

God bless you all.

@budaatum, boldsleek, fabbby, oblongata, michlins, namdeenero, TinubuDCrook, Oloyevill, ghoxt, greggng,
Viceddy95, Kobicove, Nosike3, idonhammer, livingsage, Gajagojo, earthquakes, ipobarecriminals, chypoteni, frizz001, honourablejoe, Zumbigbo, topcruise, bfly, porksupplyib, Lathrowinger, Mancala and so many others. I'm tagging you all so to know the decision I have taken concerning the matter.

Well, Good for you sir! You have taken the uneasy road less travelled. It's not easy to be an honorable man but you are an example that its possible. I am inclined to help you a little bit if someone can validate authenticity as I'm not really in a position to do so.

OP, this is an unfortunate situation, a huge betrayal of trust. My advice is that you forgive and move on. Talk to your Dad about how you feel, that you feel betrayed that he did this behind your back. In fact, this is stealing, but because you are family, you will let it go but you will never put yourself in a situation to be taken advantage of by him again. When I say forgive, I mean let go of any consequences he deserves like getting him arrested etc. But that doesn't mean you should put him in a position of trust again. Make this clear and move on. It is painful to feel betrayed by you own Dad, but put yourself in his shoes. Your brother needed urgent surgery and he saw a way out. He should have called and asked you first. Move on sir. Some folks have said they will potentially send you some financial compensation. I feel for you and may do so too.

bentenny:

The IREV was one of the most important features that encouraged voters about the readiness of INEC to finally put things right by ensuring transparency and accountability in our electoral process!

The IREV was probably the reason why the electoral law was amended to give powers to INEC to choose a mode of transmission which they said boldly was through electronic means and the rules and guidelines of INEC which is as powerful as the electoral law was given!

Once IREV either encountered a glitch or error during an election,the process could have been halted as any other alteration of the chosen mode of transmission would be unconstitutional and unacceptable to all and sundry!

As much as I agree that the aggreived parties should be able to rely on agents election documents for proof,this totally makes a mockery of the entire electronic transmission process where humongous funds from taxpayers were allocated and takes us back to the reliance on manual transmission!

Two points you made here which I spoke to in a previous post. I cannot speak to the legality or otherwise of transmission of results outside of IREV. That is a process issue and left to the courts to decide and doesn’t speak to results being rigged or not. However, I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s unconstitutional as this is really not enshrined in our constitution but rather in laws passed by legislature.
Your second point about waste of taxpayers money is speaking to the “court of public opinion” and not really a legal issue before the courts in this legal process. But needless to say that iINECs reputation is already damaged and the Nigerian public has no confidence in the institution going back several electoral cycles into the past since the 90’s.
My pain point is that nobody is showing any evidence that proves that the results were rigged/changed and this in itself is very annoying because the courts will not rule on that rather on the legality or otherwise of non transmission through IREV. Whichever way that goes, INEC officially comes out smelling roses because even if the court rules it was an illegal process, that doesn’t prove the results were changed which is what the plaintiffs and a portion of the public claims and believes.

bentenny:
Relying on party agents instead of the IREV that humongous funds from taxpayers were budgeted for is like saying there was never any need for electronic transmission in the first place!
Like someone rightly said,Okoye will come out and say whatever he likes because he knows the country is already polarised due to ethnicity and religious lines and they see us as fools that can easily be deceived!

The overall point is not that the process should rely solely on party agents. They are just one leg of a balanced three legged stool.. IREV, the signed results sheets/BVAS and the paper ballots themselves. All should be saying the same thing. If IREV data is in dispute, we can validate with either the signed result sheets (party agents and INECs copies) or paper ballots. INEC did not declare results based on data in IREV. It was non existent at the time. They claimed to have manually compiled result sheets. That is where to start from and prove they are being dishonest. I saw “evidence” of lots of “manipulated sheets” shortly after the elections. Where is all that in this process? Frustrating for an average onlooker.
I can’t speak to whether or not INEC was legally required to upload, transmit and collate results in IREV before announcing a winner. That is left for the courts to decide. But I can definitely say that even if they did that and there is a dispute, the party agents have the evidence in their hands to prove INEC was deceptive if they were.

A party agent is present to keep the electoral umpire honest. If there is a dispute, all agents provide their original signed copies of the results and compare with INECs copy. Easy as pie to figure out who is being dishonest. This should be a slam dunk case! I smell a rat on both sides.

9jatriot:
The question is, from the result uploaded has there been any agent that said that the result he signed is different from the one that has been uploaded?

Speaking from the perspective of a far removed observer with no first hand evidence and absolutely no vested interest, and incidentally this is how the judicial system should view the matter, this is probably the most pointed remark that speaks to the heart of the dispute.
Both sides have conducted their cases in a very strange manner. First, the statement from INEC that there was a glitch that affected the presidential process, and neither of the other two processes that ran simultaneously is really suspect. In my mind perhaps untrue. However, how do you prove that he is lying? What he said is very unlikely but not improbable. And even if he is fibbing, that still doesn’t prove that the results were manipulated. There needs to be first hand evidence to that effect and the plaintiffs need to present and address this evidence in court. As to what constitutes first hand evidence, the superior courts have already hinted at that. Having said this, it is clear that INEC did not collate results from what was on IREV because the results weren’t there as at that time. The collation was a manual exercise. So why in heavens name have the plaintiffs not shown examples of results sheets in their possession from party agents, that are different from what they subpoenaed from INEC?? If LP doesn’t have it, what about PDP? I saw a lot of shady supposed manipulated results sheets online during the elections. Where are they today? I thought this case would be a slam dunk for the plaintiffs with all I saw previously but the focus has been on technicalities. What is going on here? Some of us were hoping to see direct evidence of rigging so that the courts can put an end to shenanigans in Nigeria’s electoral process by demonstrating that if you rig, you will be caught and removed. I am extremely disappointed in how both sides have conducted this inquiry thus far. Why the hell is this attorney speaking on an issue that is current being adjudicated?

rukyboy:
.


Lol. I guessed you missed her point.

Those estates are supplied by IPPs.

The tatrifs are super high.

No I didn't. I understand exactly the point she's trying to make and still insist it's false economy. Just don't need to belabour my assertions. Unless the laws of science have ceased to work in Nigeria, not unlike everything else, a modern fridge will use less electricity by staying on and keeping it closed versus switching it off and on intermittently.

pocohantas:


Lol. Are you driving a 2023 car or you just went there to watch other people drive these cars?

How much do you earn on your Island?




They turn it off to conserve electricity units which works and is practical if there is guaranteed power supply round the clock.

False economy! My point is that you actually do not save more units doing that. If left on, the fridge cools down and reaches set temperature and the compressor shuts down and stays off for a long period if not opened. The compressor will only come on for a little time to maintain set temperature if opened or after being left for a while. If you shut it off, the fridge will warm up well below set temperature without compressor coming on such that when you turn it on, it takes a longer time to cool back down again thus consuming more electricity than if you left it on. The compressor is what consumes majority of the elecricity in a fridge. It sounds counter intuitive but thats the plain truth.

pocohantas:
@Wunmi590, a lot of places farther down the Island do not have light. Some have estate grids that supplies them 24hrs power at a high rate. I am not moved by the 24hrs light they chant because most times it is not from the national grid and you need balls of steel to put on your AC overnight or leave your refrigerator on for 24hrs. Anyway, you get to charge your devices. Not bad at all.

They should give everyone prepaid meter, so that a whole area wouldn't suffer because some do not pay electricity bills. Let the people that are willing to pay have light. Until we get to that level, people should look well before chooking themselves into some areas. Except you are ready to generate your own power.

"you need balls of steel to put on your AC overnight or leave your refrigerator on for 24hrs" If you have constant electricity, it may be false economy to switch off your refrigerator for short periods of time to save energy. It's better to leave it on and let it run per designed efficiency since it can take a fridge almost 12 hours to cool down to set temperature once it has warmed up. Curbing excessive opening of the fridge is a better energy saving strategy, but if you have kids in the house, may be almost impossible to achieve

nnamdi640:
Tell your state governor to revoke the land sold out by your people let watch how it will go. Don't just set up fire you can't control because it will surely burn the person that set it up.

My broda, it has happened before and still happening, heavens did not fall. Recently in Kano, the current governor revoked lands sold by the immediate past governor less than 3 days into his tenure. The people that bought the land just dey look. Governors can do and undo when it comes to land. The law is an ass, but still the law regardless.

nnamdi640:
Story, The power fg has on any land in Nigeria is stronger than the state government. If you like try to claim any land then federal constitution will now take the lead.

This is incorrect. The federal government signed the land use act of 1978 that gives the state government power over the sale and use of lands in their state. All land in Anambra state is under the state and the governor can revoke at any time and pay compensation deemed fit. Even the the type of compensation is spelled out in the law.

Jbleenk:


No land in Lagos or any part of Nigeria is outrightly sold in the real sense. The lands you think are sold are actually on lease for a period of 100years after which the state can allow you to renew if it so wish and remember gov of a state have the power backed by low to revoke title document of any land.

A vast majority of the people here do not understand this fundamental aspect of the laws governing land ownership in Nigeria, that land is sold under a leasehold agreement not a freehold agreement, similar to what obtains in some areas of London. The governor of a state holds all the cards and can legally revoke land C of O at any time. You cannot lease for longer than 99 years!
"The Nigerian Land Use Act 1978 is the principal legislation regulating land tenure in Nigeria. Section 1 of the Law states that “Subject to the provisions of this Act, all land comprised in the territory of each State in the Federation are hereby vested in the governor of that State and such land shall be held in trust and administered for the use and common benefit of all Nigerians in accordance with the provisions of this Act”.

"Landowners need to acquire a Certificate of Occupancy, generally known as C of O, which the State Governments of the land will issue as evidence of a right of occupancy. This right of occupancy is granted to individuals to occupy, develop and use the ground for a period not exceeding 99 years. "
This means all the rights you have for this land are a lease, which just means the government may take your land anytime.
Although the Land Use Act states that land use must not exceed 99 years, the Act does not specify if a Certificate of Occupancy granted can be renewed after the expiration of the 99-year leasehold, leaving the Governor with the option to continue or not.

MechanicMike:


Faceless? son.if u wanto se me its easy. I show up. I only juss left Nigeria on Friday & am back in June. I will take u to any restorant of yor choice if u can promise how to use fokk n knife beofre i arrrive. deal??

Safe travels as you waka upandan sir! But I have no desire to eat sandwiches with a fork and knife, with a stranger, in a Peckham restaurant. BTW, it's easy to know those that are bluffing vs. those that are for real when they talk about classifications in the British school system. I attended a public school. Go look up the difference
"did u go to publick schoool or private schoool sir coz in private schoools like the one i went"

MechanicMike:



Really?
I drive 2020 Range rover, Metallick black limited edition & I own 2 rent out propertys here in pekam & u say school fail me? Wow. Brother, we went to a hall party on Saturday at Pekam estate & I sprayed £4000 cash..it's on video. Technically this usually mean I can take Yor woman anyday. Bow down. (TRUE STORY)

"I drive 2020 Range rover, I sprayed £4000 cash, I own 2 rent out propertys here in pekam" .......Good for you sir! Na you be oga. It's a faceless forum and I choose to remain so. But Peckham is, was and still is a village, and na your oyinbo hosts name am so

MechanicMike:



really?
can u compare Pekam to your so called Lagos island or can you compare Pekam to yor so called banana Island?that rubbbish place full of council flat? We have expencive restorants up here full of white people and most of our restorants are booking only...they dont play fuji music in our restorant up here unlike in that Lagos place.....tecnically..son, therrrris no comparsim!!!(no oofeinsce)

Oga Londoner, no be member measuring contest
Na fact I tell you so. The literal meaning of the name Peckham is "Village of the River Peck". Your "private school" education has failed you sir

Peckham na village
Peckham = the village of the River Peck

Na wa for people blindly following traditions as if they are sacrosanct and ordained from heaven. Traditions are practices started by human beings based on their knowledge, beliefs and experiences at the times they lived. Some of these date back hundreds, even thousands of years ago when some things that exist today would have been seen as sorcery, devilry and unnatural! Twins were considered evil and killed in some cultures based on their traditions. We no longer do that because we know better today. Knowledge has increased, wisdom has progressed. My 2 cents. Ask about the history behind whatever tradition is being foistered upon you. Why do they do what they do? If it doesn’t make sense to you or you don’t feel comfortable doing it, and it’s not codified in the laws of Nigeria, start your own practice! In a few years into the future, your own established practice will become tradition within your established space of influence.

OP, don’t waste much time with the police. They will write a report and inform you that this is a civil case. Go and file suit at a small claims court. Keep all the written communications and all the receipts for expenses you incurred moving your stuff from her premises to your new place. You will need this as evidence in court. Keep all the text messages between y’all on your phone. Do not delete anything. They like to see the message on your phone rather than print outs. You should be able to get all your money back and prove intent to defraud that could get you punitive damages.

"I’ll take with me the sound equipment and lighting I donated"
What is the deal with this sketchy view in Nigeria that you can take back properties donated/gifted to an institution or individual after the fact? There is absolutely no legal basis for this. Once gifted (and not under false pretense), the property legally cease to be yours. And why is a Church (a tax exempt organization) getting involved in politics? Aren't they required to not be involved in politics to retain their non profit/tax exempt status? If anybody should obey the laws of the land it should be the Church.

Nemesis0147:
my dear,,you see food stuffs ba,leave it for us!
The only thing he needs to buy if he wants to cook is fish or meat…every other things are gotten in bulk….moreover to get 30k then easy pass than now oh
There school shuttle is 2h per day but we use to Trek during our own time

It was fun sef trekking with friends

I am interested in this topic because I am also trying to figure something similar out. My advice is this. Sit down with him and do a proper budget. How does he currently spend the 100k he gets vs what are your expectations on how he should be spending it? Everybody is different. Some people can manage 2k a week while 50k will not be enough for some. No be everybody get same head. You know your brother better than anybody here, how he was raised as the youngest child … pampered?. For example, you can’t expect someone who was chauffeured to secondary school daily to start jumping bus or okada in university without an adjustment process and making the expectations clear. In addition, most teenagers need some tutoring in financial management. Sit down with him and do a realistic budget and tell him to adjust accordingly to what you guys can afford. Giving him his allowance monthly vs for the full semester is also a good idea. This will serve as training for real life. Finally, don’t be annoyed that he calls his Mother for help. No be him mama born am? She is responsible for him not you O. You are just helping out. As for providing foodstuff, I can tell you that when I was in uni, foodstuff did not help me most of the time. It was not always convenient for me to cook and most times, I was mostly away from the hostel the entire day and needed to spend money to feed somehow. In addition, that foodstuff na wahala. Your friends no go allow how you rest with borrow borrow. Even when you cook self, food that should last one week go finish in one day.

eyinjuege:


What has the boy's mother done wrong in this case though?
She raised this boy with the help of her family till he was old enough not to be maltreated or at least old enough to speak up if he is being maltreated.
He treated those who raised him up appallingly.
Being rude to his grandparents who raised you all your life, not caring if your mother lived or died while in hospital are hurtful actions that his 'victims' will take time to recover from.
I'm sure they will forgive him with time, but the mother needs some time alone at this moment . Time to get over the hurt, time to process how he made her feel she was not worth even a phonecall on her sickbed, to process her son won't even notice if she died.
She needs that time alone for now.
She probably even processed her relocation to get away from his action towards her, so no sense in bringing him without first getting over the hurt she feels
He's safe with his father, and that's good enough for now.

I agree with your assertions. However, if she feels that bad about what her son did to her, she will not want to visit the same treatment on him and endeavor to teach him to be a better person in future. But you're right in that she needs time to process and heal because she's hurting right now. She is the adult in this situation and he is a child. She needs to communicate with him in due course and tell him straight up that she can't bring him to the UK now due to his actions and that actions have consequences. This is part of parenting. I have a lot of respect and praise for her parents who in the Nigerian context, did not "disown" her when she showed up pregnant in her early years under their roof.

Jennifer89:
The boy is a wicked, foolish, unreasonable and an ungrateful son. Imagine what his own mother went through for him all these years.

Let him stay with his father and bear whatever is thrown at him! Don't bother talking to his mother because that boy is not worth it at all.

"The boy is a wicked, foolish, unreasonable and an ungrateful son." You may be right, but remember that we are talking about a 16/17 yo, an immature minor who has limited life experience and still reasons like a child. At that age and stage in life, we expect kids to be irrational and make mistakes, however, how we handle the situation can make or break the child. I agree that there should be consequences, but not necessarily extreme in nature to the extent of permanently disowning the boy. There needs to be a middle ground, a way to teach the boy to become a better person and grow up into a responsible man, rather than emotionally breaking him like he did to his mother. An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. My suggestion is that the Mother should talk to him (maybe after a few months) and tell him in clear terms how he has erred/wronged the family and that due to this, she nor her immediate family no longer trust him and she cannot risk bringing him to the UK at this point in time. Is that not the plain truth of the matter? And that is one of the consequences for his actions. She can then offer him an incentive that if he does well in school and completes his secondary and university education, she will be willing to help bring him to the UK for his Masters degree. And remember, there is no difference between a deadbeat Dad and a deadbeat Mum. You can't just up and disown your minor child. You are still legally responsible for that child until he/she becomes an adult. She shouldn't act like the the supposed Dad did.

ObamaMessi:
I finally arrived in America.

Can't believe Victor Divine is in yankee.

I live in Willowbrook, Houston, Texas.

It has always been a dream since I was 10, now 19 and my dream is reality.

I will soon work my way to NY to recide in Alabama.

My dream of becoming Governor of New York, U.S Secretary of State and subsequently becoming U.S President (after we amend the constitution to make naturalized citizens eligible to run for the Presidency) is materializing.

Just a week plus here, I know the difference between a first world country and a third world shithole.

I implore all of you to work your ass off to the U.S and live that shithole to your selfish politicians.

#GodBlessAmerica!!!

Congratulations sir on achieving your dream. But It is one thing for a none citizen to call our country a derogatory term. It’s is an entire different thing for a citizen to do so.
In the tongue lies the power of life and death, especially from those that have authority over an entity. Words can either speak life, or your words can speak death. By calling your country that term, you are also speaking negativity to into your existence.

Bethanybethel:


I concur, there is no peace for the wicked he should die and rots in hell

When someone you care about, or you think should care about you hurts you, you can hold on to anger and resentment or embrace forgiveness and move forward. You are not doing it for the person, you are doing it for yourself. You are absolutely correct that you don't owe him anything, but the benefits of forgiveness will all accrue to you. Anger/resentment surreptitiously eats a person up from the inside and does lots of emotional damage. You are obviously still very angry with him and that's natural, but believe me, its better to forgive and move on, but never put yourself in a position for him to hurt you again.

MasterJayJay:
Why do some women choose not to sit astride on a bike?

It is actually illegal for a woman to sit astride in some countries like Indonesia. A woman can be sentenced to 6 months for doing this