₦airaland Forum

Its not a matter of jumping up and down from one side of the stage to another like grasshopper weh deh do gymnastic, deh shout Oshe! Oshe! if you bi big boy, show your Logo, God bless my Igbo brothers Kiss

CrazyMan: This ESUTH again, last time NYSC rejected three of their graduates because they couldn't express themselves in plain english...now this.

That school needs God's devine intervention.

So Ekiti State University and Enugu State University are the same thing ehn? U dey Craze tru tru lol

[quote author=ndu_chucks]May I also inform LASG that the lack of maintenance of many state roads killed 1,107 people in one year? mumus[/quote]Pls tell them!

acidtalk: I laugh in Otueke!!!
Let's see who eventually will be put to shame.
It isn't yet 31st of December is it? Moreover go through that thread again and see if at least about 3 of the predictions haven't come to past.

I won't say much here! We will get to know d loser soon!

Kayusfity: Thank God for the 1st time I'm first to comment. So glad

Clap for yourself!

berem: So she went for a tummy tuck just to look good on her birthday? This surely looks like Stella Obasanjo's case.Stella Obasanjo went for a tummy tuck too to look good on her 60th birthday.unfortunately she didn't make it.
Are you thinking what am thinking?

acidtalk: Hell no!!!
No one thinks what an imbe*cile like you is thinking.

Haba! Acidatlk, This is uncalled for. Are we not entitled to our own opinions?

[quote author=madame_bebe]Ooooo I see! Mummy needs to do something about her sons weight the boy weighs more than his dad [/quote]At that age GEJ's son already has a potbelly! Na wa ohh

acidtalk: For those of you who still called Acidtalk a false prophet, I think you need to go through those very same predictions made in the thread below.

https://www.nairaland.com/1066757/predictions-last-quarter-year


A word is enough

Acidtalk! U have just been put to shame with your false prophecies... Keep Dreaming

Very Good

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]How can my toto excite or not excite you when I have never met you

[size=44pt] Busted![/size] [/quote]Hahahahahah isim oHhh

[quote author=D-Explorer]No 1. For this thread to have been created, it tells me how low you think.
No 2. It will be an abuse to common sense for me to exchange posts with you (on something pathetic).
No 3. I can see i mean so much to you. Never knew you've been stalking.
No 4. Your post tells everything about you and why would i tour your path.
No 5. I corrected you (though abit harsh) because you were not and still not making sense to logical minds.

Now you get the points? Don't bother quoting me because i won't reply you anymore. You and your likes sure have a place on this section because even in larger communities, we still have mad people living among the sane ones. I personally can endure and forgive you. Again, you need not to quote me.[/quote]#HITS HAMMER ON THE DESK# CASE CLOSED

oluface: Mr Man if you can answer my question just keep ur steew peed mouth shut. Id!ot. You always talk as if you are the most sensible member on nairaland. Ode alainilakaye. Oponu ayira. O ya damilohun. Olorikori bi eja ice. Koshi joor.

Jisos!!!!!

Its a BIG LIE! JOHN CENA was present at Monday Night Raw event. Check ling http://news.lalate.com/2012/09/19/john-cena-not-dead-fake-death-story-strikes-wrestler-despite-surgery/

dridowu: WHO IS JIM IYKE ?

The Bingo that lives next door.

Wetin kum concern us for this kind thing? We dey there when d thing dey sweet u?

Jenams: OMG! wat r u doin online u dis psychiatric patient in my clinic? what r u doin in the city u mor.on? are u nt fit for d same agricultural sector? how u take beta pass those wey dey village wit dis kind brain wey u carry? asnwer me! SHOUTS ANGRILY, answer me now b4 i giv u injection wey go kill u!

Abeg Kill Am!

My Heart Became Heavy After Reading This. Don't worry bro, d GOOD LORD will always watch over you andr son.

Omg, Guinea pigs are rising up on people! Send the Marines!

Q- when a white baby dies where does he go?
A- he goes to heaven
Q- what does he get
A- wings
Q- what do they call them
A- angels

Q- when a black baby dies where does he go?
A- he goes to heaven
Q- what does he get
A- he gets wings
Q- what do they call them
A- a BAT

Three blokes enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs, and the third has no body, just a head.They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool.The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom.Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him.He pick up the head, swims back up to the surface and places it at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering. Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts:"Three long years I've spent learning to swim with my ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some prick puts a swimming cap on me !!"

This man walks into a gun shop and asks to buy a gun. The gun
shop owner asks, "What for?" He says, "To shoot some cans." So
he walks away with the gun.

He comes back the next day and asks for a bigger gun claiming he
still has more cans to shoot. He walks away with the bigger gun.

Again he comes back the next day demanding a bigger gun. Now the
gun shop owner is curious and asks, "What cans are you shooting
sir?" He replies, "AmeriCANS, JaimaCANS, AfriCANS..."

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

3 hunters walk in the woods one falls unconscious, one of the hunters calls 911 and says "O MY GOSH O MY GOSH I THINK MY FRIEND IS DEAD"

The nine one one operator says, "calm down did you make sure he was dead"

Long silence

*Gunshot*

The hunter comes back on the line "ok, now what"

A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly.....
She in the upper bunk and he in the lower.
At 1:00 AM , the woman leaned down and gently woke the man saying, 'Sir, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' he replied. 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'
'Ooooh, ok!' she exclaimed.
'Good,' he replied. 'Get your own D*mn blanket.'

shadrach77: Igbos again! They will do anything for money

Anu Gombe di ka gi.. E go soon set 4urhead!

For her mind sha...mstcheww

As for me, I don't think prayer is supposed to be about "feeling" anything. It's an act of communication with God, and God's presence in your heart or in the room or anywhere you're praying in, isn't contingent on any feelings. I feel relaxed and peaceful. My head clears even if I am confused or stressed out. It's quality time with God and it's awesome. I feel like He always listens to me, even if I don't always get the answers that I want.

ItsModella: Nah...that's just a bunch of theories. All individuals are different.

Okay. What's your zodiac sign?

eduson55: nawa oo.
at your age.
https://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma4unxYMw11rbk3fgo1_250.gif

Hahahahahaha! This got me cracking

Also share your opinions ^.^

Never believe in 3 people:

Aries
Sagittarius
Pisces
They are the most selfish and mean.

________

Never lose 3 people:

Taurus
Cancer
Capricorn
They are the most sincere and true lovers.

________

Never leave 3 people:

Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
They can keep secrets, friendship and they can see your tears.

________

Never reject 3 people:

Leo
Gemini
Aquarius
They are true, honest friends & lovable.

Callotti: "To jam my "apple" from" behind and squeeze my 'bre-asts' abi?
Tell me how you sleep first.

Hahahahaha Calloti, ur mind is very dirty ohhh..