Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,188 members, 7,818,614 topics. Date: Sunday, 05 May 2024 at 07:48 PM

Mdmelijah's Posts

Nairaland Forum / Mdmelijah's Profile / Mdmelijah's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (of 17 pages)

Career / Re: Please HELP, My Boss Slashed My Salary Unjustly by Mdmelijah: 1:14pm On May 20, 2020
just pray it's a one time thing.

that's how people jump from thing to another be it work or relationship without asking for God's direction.

Just bear with it, and let God direct you.

meanwhile check my signature. WhatsApp group teaching on relationship. 08120136979

2 Likes

Romance / Re: Take Test: Find Out If It's True Love by Mdmelijah: 7:30am On May 20, 2020
Thiwalade:
Good, you can move this to religious section, it may hit front page on Sunday
Thanks
Religion / Re: Avoid Heart Breaks And Broken Homes by Mdmelijah: 8:28pm On May 19, 2020
Good evening
Religion / Re: God's Way To A Lasting Relationship II by Mdmelijah: 8:28pm On May 19, 2020
Good evening
Politics / Re: Nasarawa Lifts Ban On Worship Centres For Two Weeks by Mdmelijah: 6:34pm On May 19, 2020
Well thank God
Meanwhile join a WhatsApp group for christians desiring godly relationships
Romance / Take Test: Find Out If It's True Love by Mdmelijah: 6:27pm On May 19, 2020
I will be revealing twelve legitimate tests that can help you discern if you're really in love or not and if what your partner feels for you who is genuine love or just infatuation.

Each of these tests is designed to help you discern and distinguish between love and infatuation.

If your relationship is over 51 percent love by the standard of the test, write an "L" in the margin; if it's 51 percent or more on the infatuation side, put an "I." This isn't a test that you can fail. This is a tool to help you learn and grow in your understanding of the most important part of life, loving another human being.

1. The Test Of Time
Love benefits and grows through time; infatuation ebbs and diminishes with time. Love develops out of relationship and caring and core personal character traits, not our instant impression or perception of another person. Infatuation can explode at any moment, but real love takes time.

So the question:
How long did it take for love to be declared, by you or your partner?

2. The Test of Knowledge
Love grows out of an appraisal of all the known characteristics of the other person.

How much do you know about this person?

I'm amazed how often couples who are well into their relationships display a lack of basic knowledge about each other. Unfortunately, most couples seldom have shared goals, shared vision, or shared purposes for where they expect to go together in their relationship or marriage.

Infatuation is happy to know very little. Love longs to know well.
Love wants to study the other person's needs, desires, dreams, and hopes because it wants to do everything to make them a reality. Love is interested, not in what it can get, but in what it can give.

The development of a relationship ought to be like an undergraduate degree in which the other person becomes a multifaceted and fascinating study. Marriage, then, becomes a lifelong pursuit of a Ph.D. in knowing and understanding your spouse.

Do you lack a desire to get to know this person? Does this person lack an interest in getting to know you? Are you even interested in this person getting to know you?
Are you simply satisfied with a person just telling you they love you?
If you are in a relationship how much of your partner's personality and purpose do you know and how much of yours do they know?

Have you decided how you can best help him or her achieve that goal or dream?
After answering the questions in this test can you really say you both love each other or is it just infatuation?

Infatuation quickly decides it knows everything it needs to know. Genuine love creates an atmosphere of such interest that the other person opens like a flower.

3. The Test Of Focus
Genuine love is other-person centered. Infatuation is self centered. You know what infatuated people are all caught up with? Themselves.


In your most important relationships, to what degree is your attention focused on what you are receiving from them and to what degree is your attention focused on meeting the other's needs?

I have met people whose bosses at work, ministers at their church, even their parents, siblings, relatives and friends who say at some point they love them but instead focus their attention on what they will receive or get from these people. This has affected these people's understanding of love.

Next personal evaluation: Do you think about how you're going to look and feel in the relationship,
or about what you can do to make that person look and feel great?



4. The Test Of Singularity
Genuine love is focused on only one person. An infatuated individual may be "in love" with two or more persons simultaneously.

Do you find your self feeling the same way towards others or is your partner distracted by others?

5. The Test Of Security
Genuine love requires and fosters a sense of security and feelings of trust.
Security grows and flows out of deep awareness of the other person's character, values, and track record. You know who he or she really is. And when you know who they really are, you trust them. You are not jealous because you know their heart is yours. Jealousy is often a sign of a lack of trust, and a lack of trust is a sign of infatuation in real life, especially excess unnecessary jealousy.

How insecure and jealous are you or your partner in that relationship?

6. The Test Of Work
An individual in love works for the other person, for his or her mutual benefit. By contrast, an infatuated person loses his or her ambition, appetite, and interests in everyday affairs. A woman in love may study to make her husband proud. A man in love may have his ambitions spurred on by planning and saving for the future together. Partners in genuine love may daydream about the potential of their relationship, but their daydreams are reasonably attained. People in infatuation often daydream of unrealistic objectives and ideals that neither they nor their partner could ever actually attain.

Infatuation lives off the relationship; love builds into the relationship.

Are you working for you both benefit as contrast to being self centered, or have you lost interest in your commitments and concentration in your daily life?

Is your love a distraction or a motivation?


7. The Test Of Problem Solving
A couple in love faces problems frankly and tries to solve them. Infatuated people tend to disregard or try to ignore problems. If there are barriers to getting married for a couple in love, those barriers are approached and removed. The barriers that cannot be removed may be circumvented with knowledge. They do not go into marriage blindly. They handle problems with clear, shared decisions.

While infatuation mixed with classic denial with an added pinch of insanity, is a such relationship that isn't based on communication, genuine knowledge, geography, core values, commitment, or spiritual vision, it therefore doesn't face prevent problems nor is prepared to face future challenges.

How good are you and your partner at seeing problems and working on them? Or do you avoid them and focus on the feel good feelings?


8. The Test Of Distance
Love knows the importance of distance. Infatuation imagines love to be intense closeness, 24/7, all the time.
If circumstances require you to be temporarily separated from the one you love, that will teach you a lot about the quality of your relationship. In terms of distance, if you're in a long-term relationship right now and you call each other three, four, or five times a day, or you just have to see each other every day, that's not a good sign. That means you're trying to keep the chemicals alive.

If there is not a sense of separateness, a distinct life, relationships with other people, and healthy balance, then the relationship is probably a lot more infatuation than it is love.
Because genuine love is not based just on emotions, some distance will often let you know what is really in your heart.

How does your love handle distance?
Do you tend to get anxious and frustrated when you can't be together all the time?



9. The Test Of Physical Attraction
Physical attraction is a relatively small part of genuine love, but it is the central focus of infatuation. Now don't read "small part" to mean "not a part" in what I just stated. If your heart doesn't skip a beat now and then and you don't feel real attraction for your mate or the person you plan to marry, I'd call that a problem.

Let's not make genuine love so spiritual that we deny reality and God's Word. Sexual attraction definitely has a part in love.

A lack of attraction brings a lack of attention which results to a lack of affection. When there’s not enough attraction, or the attraction isn't mutual, it is very easy for a lack of respect to show up; and obviously lack of respect will destroy a relationship.
It isn't just about how they look but how attracted you both are to each other because it is that attraction that will remain even when looks begin to fade.

Can you really handle a lack of attraction with your partner for the rest of your life? Apart from physical attraction, how would your mate say he or she knows that you love him or her? Does it feel like the attraction is not mutual but one sided?


10. The Test Of Affection
When affection flows out of deep understanding and growing friendship, it gains in meaning and value.
In your relationship, how is affection balanced out by friendship love and giving love?
or are you or your partner solely or mainly interested in the physical display of affection?



11. The Test Of Stability
Love tends to endure. Infatuation may change suddenly and unpredictably. Real love is stable. There is commitment.
The best way to test stability in a new relationship comes through knowing that person in the context of his or her other relationships.

How a male treats the females close to him, his sisters, mother, female friends matter just as it does for how females treat their brothers and father as well.

How is he or she in relation to parents, friends, and siblings?

Frankly, someone who has been married more than once ought to expect to be calmly and seriously tested when it comes to the
question of stability.

Perhaps one of the first and best questions to ask as you think about testing stability in your relationship is this:

How would I demonstrate to my partner that I have developed the characteristic of stability in my relationships?

What's your track record in relationships?
What is your partner's?

Is there a pattern that raises confidence or warning signals?



Note: I won't advice you to break off a relationship because a few tests don't fall in your favor, at times we need to mature and grow a relationship for there to be true love in it and not just feelings.


12. The Test Of Delayed Gratification
A couple in genuine love is not indifferent to the timing of their wedding, but they do not feel an irresistible drive toward it. An infatuated couple tends to feel an urge to get married instantly.

Two Bible couples offer us a sharp contrast of these two approaches:
Amnon and Tamar (whose story is told in 2 Samuel 13) and Jacob and Rachel (whose story you will find in Genesis 29:1-20).

Amnon represents a guy who couldn't wait. He had a case of consuming infatuation; he was obsessed with Tamar. When he took by force what he thought he wanted, his "love" vanished like smoke. He couldn't wait, and it spelled destruction in his own life as well as Tamar's.

Jacob was attracted to Rachel almost immediately. Yet he had to work seven years in order to marry Rachel. That's five years beyond the typical lifespan of infatuation.

Do you think his love understood stability and delayed gratification?

The Bible says that the seven years "seemed like only a few days." Why? "Because of his love for her." It wasn't about his lustful needs; it was about something really worth waiting for.

As you enter into a potentially serious relationship, ask yourself if your pace is based in fear or faith. Don't let pressure from people push you or pride make you lose patience.

Is your pace based on anxiety over deprivation and physical drives, or is your pace the result of a desire for careful and thorough preparation for marriage?


All these tests were taught in MDM biblical teaching group.

How many of these tests have you taken previously or do you believe is absolutely necessary for you right now?
Celebrities / Re: Logan Williams Died Of Fentanyl Overdose At The Age Of 16 by Mdmelijah: 8:51am On May 19, 2020
shocked
Religion / Re: COZA: How To Prevent Your Pastor From Raping You by Mdmelijah: 9:11pm On May 18, 2020
Whatsapp group for christian single ladies Relationship, love, sex. God's way No nudes, no porn, no creeps, no hook ups
Thank you Do check my signature 08120136979
Romance / Re: . by Mdmelijah: 8:37pm On May 18, 2020
The group is filling up fast
I appreciate cheesy cool
Romance / Re: . by Mdmelijah: 8:37pm On May 18, 2020
The group is filling up fast
I appreciate cheesy cool

1 Like

Family / Re: Are Best Friends Worth It? Mine Abandoned Me In The Streets Of A Foreign Country by Mdmelijah: 8:35pm On May 18, 2020
There are relationships we have because we don't know how to handle them we don't see the benefit of having them.

If we did we would be grateful for who we met and rejoice about those who leave.

Check out my signature
Politics / Re: NCDC Bill: Gates Denies Offering Reps Any Incentive by Mdmelijah: 4:34pm On May 18, 2020
Really shocked

The lies undecided

Nothing breaks a relationship like false rumor, join the best WhatsApp group on relationships.

Check signature for link
WhatsApp Contact 08120136979

4 Likes 2 Shares

Romance / Re: I Never Wanted To Have Sex With Her On The First Visit by Mdmelijah: 2:57pm On May 18, 2020
Naughtysite:


She loves you but you don't yet love her.

These are the reasons you don't love her.

1. She gave you sex on the first day, so you take her lightly for that act.

2. She didn't play hide and seek with you for long. If you had spent 2 months toasting her, you should have loved her by now.

3. She accepts anything you do.

She actually loves you. That is my verdict.
that's not love that's infatuation

1 Like

Romance / Re: I Never Wanted To Have Sex With Her On The First Visit by Mdmelijah: 2:54pm On May 18, 2020
goodman41:
I met her when she came for her IT at my place of work. One day I collected her number but I didn't call her till she finished her IT and went back to school.

One day I called to inform her that I will like us to go into a relationship which she accepted. I told her that l'm not looking for a girlfriend but a wife. I asked her if she has a boyfriend but she said yes but she will never marry the guy because there are some things she will consider in terms of marriage.

I called her to visit me but she was doing promise and fail. I told her that I'm not inviting her for sex that sex is nothing for me. She said okay, that I should send transport money, I tried using my phone to transfer 2k for her but it was not going, so I told her that it was not going she said I should go and use ATM but I told her that I don't have that time that she should borrow from her roommate and come or she should forget about coming until when I will be able to use my phone to do the transfer. So that evening she called that she will come the next day being Sunday that she borrowed money from her roommate.

When she came on Sunday I put movie for her and kept my self busy with my laptop, she started feeling sleepy which I told her to go and sleep on the bed which she went, after I was through with my laptop I asked her if I can join her she said yes, I now joined her in the bed before we knew it we started kissing and romancing each other and we had sex.

After the sex she said that but you told me you don't like sex I told her I like sex but I don't take it serious. She said okay I understand. I now took her out spent like 3k, the following morning I gave her 4k for her transport and she was happy.

After one week she called that I should send her airtime I told her that am not sending she said okay without being angry, when she visited for the second time she asked why did I refuse to send her card I told her that I don't like sending card to people she said okay. So am seeing her as people, i told her don't worry any time I feel like I will send to her, but she said if i send it that she will send it back to me.

I asked her about her boyfriend she said that she has ended the friendship but my mind is telling she is lying, she cleaned my house and cooked for me before going back to school that she doesn't want me to be eating outside, she asked me to give her money to do hair which I gave her 3k for both her transport and the hair, she said the money is small but she Will add her own so she collected it without any issue.

Am not the type that use to call every day but she asked me to be calling her every day to make our relationship grow stronger, she was telling me the other day that she will visit me one day without telling me to see if I have another girl.

Please is this girl really serious with this relationship or she just wants to use me?
this kind of relationship won't last, no real love inside. From what I have read you will soon lose interest in her.

No real feelings or understanding was built first, you both just jumped into sex. She doesn't trust you, she asks for material things from you. She's basically immature and your relationship with her will develop a lot of problems the signs are there already.

Check my signature on the right way to get into a lasting relationship that leads to marriage.

1 Like

Health / Re: Dokpesi And His Son Clash Over Comment On COVID-19 by Mdmelijah: 2:39pm On May 18, 2020
Check my signature
Religion / Re: God's Way To A Lasting Relationship II by Mdmelijah: 2:38pm On May 18, 2020
Hello
Romance / Re: Why Some Cheat?! by Mdmelijah: 2:38pm On May 18, 2020
Hello
Romance / Re: Jointhegist: Does A Guy Need A Stable Job Before He Has A Stable Relationship? by Mdmelijah: 2:37pm On May 18, 2020
Hello

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (of 17 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 73
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.