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Phileo Love—The Love Of Best Friends
The Greeks called the second kind of love phileo. This is friendship love, in biblical process this love is more important than eros and should be sort more, especially before eros- which the world finds easier to start with first.
The Bible uses the word "companionship" several times to describe this part of a marriage relationship. In Genesis 2:18 it's written; Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” that's why the original intention of God in making woman was not for sexual satisfaction but as first a companion and a helper.

Guys want to date sexy girls but real men marry those women that are best friends, companions and helpers. So Ladies how you present yourself matters, If all what you do is post or send sexy pictures of yourself all you may get are guys trying to sleep with you, but if you take out time to care, send uplifting and encouraging messages to your male friends before you know it you will be receiving marriage proposals.

Phileo love means reciprocal sharing of time, hobbies, activities, home, games, and other aspects of fellowship. One English word that applies the Greek term phileo is our word "Philadelphia," the city of brotherly love. Phileo refers to that mutuality, that friendship part of love. Eros looks at a man and a woman as lovers. Phileo looks at a man and a woman as best friends.

Romans 12 from verse 9

Your love must be real. Hate what is evil. Do only what is good.
(NLT) Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.

Love each other in a way that makes you feel close like brothers and sisters. And give each other more honor than you give yourself.
(AMP) Love one another with brotherly love and affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.

As you serve the Lord, work hard and don’t be lazy. Be excited about serving him! Be happy because of the hope you have. Be patient when you have troubles. Pray all the time. Share with God’s people who need help. Look for people who need help and welcome them into your homes.
Wish only good for those who treat you badly. Ask God to bless them, not curse them. When others are happy, you should be happy with them. And when others are sad, you should be sad too. Live together in peace with each other. Don’t be proud, but be willing to be friends with people who are not important to others. Don’t think of yourself as smarter than everyone else.

(Love the message translation here) Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.
Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody.

(King James) Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

(AMP)
Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty ( snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits.

If someone does you wrong, don’t try to pay them back by hurting them. Try to do what everyone thinks is right. Do the best you can to live in peace with everyone. My friends, don’t try to punish anyone who does wrong to you. Wait for God to punish them with his anger. In the Scriptures the Lord says,

“I am the one who punishes;
I will pay people back.” Deuteronomy 32:35

But you should do this:

“If you have enemies who are hungry, give them something to eat.
If you have enemies who are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this you will make them feel ashamed.” Proverbs 25:21-22

Don’t let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good.

The three major types of love that we need to consider when we say "I love you" to someone.

1. Eros Love—The Love of Sexual Passion
The Greeks used the word eros to refer to a need-centered love or desire based on attraction and fulfillment. Eros is characterized by passion and sexual desire. Eros describes the aspect of a relationship between a man and a woman that is most like magnetism (let me add as well: anything or anyone that sexual excites your skin, from a Love Machine, a sex doll to a pillow, be it same sex, relative or animal). Magnets aren't choosy. Their drawing capacity remains "on" continuously, instantly attracted to any object that has the right characteristics. Men and women have a capacity for attraction that is neither under their complete control nor capable of entirely controlling them against their will.

Quick word: Marriage doesn't solve one's inability to control their sexual urge, yes it helps but you have to realize marriage doesn't make anyone automatically faithful. Because you can be in real love with someone and still be sexual attracted to others. It's interesting that this aspect of love is strong enough to make or break relationships.

If married ministers with high anointing and discipline ever open up to you, you will understand why some are very strict, why Paul said he doesn't advice for couples to separate for long.

When we get to talk about incest, homosexuality you will understand how powerful eros and sexual arousal is.

It's not sufficient to assume that no one around you is homosexual or none of your children will be, they may even be bisexual. (Before you marry anyone get to understand their sexual orientation, please don't assume)

It's the captivating nature of eros that makes many lose reasoning, control and give in that results in rapes, a girl allowing herself to be pleasured by her father or mother, boys enjoy kissing boys etc.

There's a reason scripture says flee (You need to understand how you make people feel and how certain people make you feel to be able to flee), because if it catches you it's when you awake you begin to ask yourself what happened.

Today we're living in a culture where people have so focused on the eros aspect of love that the power and wonder of sexual intimacy
has been lost. Casual sex, "hooking up," and love according to hormones have left countless people empty and longing for genuine love and lasting connection. To think that eros love can sustain a relationship is both naive and shortsighted.

Step 2: Instead of falling in love, walk in love

When a person's tries moving forward with closed eyes they fall and that's what happens when the world sells to us that "love is blind", we tend to "fall" in love but to walk and walk uprightly without staggering or falling one's eyes must be open.
You see the love the world sells is built on lies and fantasy, based on appearance and how we can sell ourselves as "perfect" while we seek those who present themselves as such. When a relationship starts with deception it is bound to fail at some point.

Having open eyes first means, seeing ourselves for who we are, but when we hide ourselves so many times and fail to be honest about who we are or accept it ( who we are - based on what God says and not what our heart says, for the heart can be deceptive), we tend to lose ourselves and forget who we are.
The disadvantage of this is that you could be a 2012 Volvo try to operate as a 2002 toyota or a 2014 bmw SUV, what these cars need for maintenance and their usage will be different.

Secondly, having open eyes means seeing your partner for who they are and not who you desire them to be nor see them as who they try pretending to be.

The key here is, if you can see yourself you can see others as well but if you live in delusion you will be deceived as well. We should note that without the first step and receiving the Holy Spirit, our eyes will be closed by the deceptions in this world.

We can't walk in love until we get rid of desires that blind us. In fact, walking in love means that we love others in exactly the same way that Christ loved us - who knew us for who we are and knew what we needed.

Walking in love is about sacrificial commitment, it is giving the other person what he or she needs the most when it is least deserved, because that's exactly how God has treated you. That's what genuine love is. Love is giving the other person in the relationship what he or she needs the most, not necessarily what he or she wants the most.

So you won't be going into any relationship without first seeing what you can provide and what the person truly needs, and not just what you want and what can they can provide for you. Yes knowing what you need is important so as to recognize a partner God has sent to you, so you know what to accept and what to reject and also not to make unreasonable demands.

Walking in love is not a selfish feeling. God's way is very hard on the feelings, but it's very healthy for the soul.

Genuine love is a deliberate, intentional, honest, and even painful giving up of self preservation for another person's good (when you know they need to hear the truth that could hurt them but free them, even at the risk of losing them, instead of taking the easy way of lying to them you tell them the truth in love).
Walking in genuine love says, "I'm going to give you what you need," and then follows through. No manipulation, no games, and no power play. And, interestingly enough, it's when we love in this way that we actually fan the flames of romance and those good feelings we all long to enjoy.

When we walk in love we think, we pray, we open our eyes to what we can do for the other.

Follow link for the last step: https://www.nairaland.com/5847588/gods-way-lasting-relationship-ii#89382283

donbachi:
Love is...U rub my back,i rub ur back.

that's not love
That's business
So if your parents told you they loved you that would be your interpretation

Davash222:
A managed love is worse than Covid-19.

abeg how?

Homeboiy:
What's love?

I only use that word if am about to deceive someone's daughter.

na wa o, how you take dey deceive them

Davash222:
Beer can be managed.

you can also learn to manage "love"

Davash222:
When Beer dey

but both make you high and loss your mind

Davash222:
LOVE.. a word used by two fools to deceive themselves.

you don't believe in love?

How you define love determines how you practice it.
Because a person tells you they love you doesn't mean you both have the same definition of love.

I also have another question: Why is the process of connecting with the opposite sex complicated by so many relational risks?

How can something so natural and beautiful lead us into such unhealthy relationships filled with pain, disappointment, and dysfunction?

Does the answer have to do with our lack of perspective concerning the whole concept of love. Does our inability to clearly define love itself makes knowing when you're actually "in love" next to impossible.
Until we are crystal clear on what it really
means to love another person, we'll never be sure if what you are experiencing is real or just something like a hallucination or a fleeting feeling.

Or does the answer deal with the widespread confusion over the difference between love and infatuation.

Interestingly, I checked that there has been significant research done with people experiencing what we call infatuation. When we have this experience, we could call "falling into infatuation" (or falling into romantic interest), chemicals are secreted in the brain, causing light headedness, dizziness, and a flood of emotions that we can't explain.

But isn't that the same feeling those who say they are in real love feel as well?

I know certain people trigger that kind of response in us. We are almost instantly drawn to them. Unfortunately, this unexpected, internal condition has often been called "falling in love." This reaction to attraction, which we could also describe as a "chemically induced crush," is actually infatuation - so I heard.

But who among us has not walked into a room, made eye contact with a complete stranger, and felt an instant, unexpected rush of emotion and attraction? Who hasn't had that sudden impulse to look again?
Why these moments happen and what exactly triggers them, who knows?

But the feelings are definitely a temporary condition. The attraction is neither irresistible nor dependable. You can easily experience infatuation with people who would turn out to be relational nightmares. That's why it is so dangerous to use infatuation as a sign to pursue a relationship. If you and I don't know the difference between infatuation and love, we are destined to make some of the dumbest and most regrettable decisions we'll ever make.

Is it just me but I have an issue with the constant use of the word love, I love biking, I love eating burger, I love my Dad, I love that sick movie, I love those jeans, I love how you... etc, when it's used in so many ways for even less significant things I feel it ceases to mean much. When we use the word love to express almost all our desires and attractions, no matter how trivial, people tend to equate the seriousness of love in a relationship to love for burger. We need to proper define how we feel and properly understand what another person may mean when they tell you they love you.

So my question to you is how do you define love?

Wayne4uall:
Well said.. Keep it up bro....

thanks

Good morning have a wonderful week

Good morning have a wonderful week

Good morning have a wonderful week

Good morning have a wonderful week

Good morning have a wonderful week

Good morning have a wonderful week

Good morning have a wonderful week