₦airaland Forum

Please don't tell your daughter this nonsense. Peace of mind matters more than marriage.

Adexgentle005:
Are you a male or a female ?

Does it matter? My gender isn't the point. Making blanket statements about all women just shows ignorance.

I think a lot of the problem comes from societal pressure. Because of this pressure, people don't often give themselves enough time to think things through before saying yes; even to a big commitment like marriage.

Sometimes, it is not that someone wants to hurt the other person; they just carelessly agree without thinking carefully. Other times, the pressure comes from friends or relatives, or maybe they are just in a good, happy mood and forget to reflect on the decision properly. I have seen people start doubting whether they are really ready to marry while the arrangements are underway. Though with some push and encouragement, they still go through with it. It is not always about a lack of love for their partner; it is that the weight of the decision hits them later than it should.

You can be in love with someone and still not be psychologically ready for marriage. Transitioning from single life to married life is not easy, especially if being single is quite convenient.

If you are used to your own space, it can feel like marriage would be overwhelming. Sometimes, marriage even feels like nonsense to me because it seems like an invasion of my personal space. It is so important to think carefully before saying yes because it is a decision that changes everything.

Society might pressure you, but try to avoid agreeing to marriage when you are not ready. Even if backing out isn't intentional, reputations can be hurt and feelings can get messy.

Wonderful post. More posts like this are needed.

Just because all females in your family are doing hook up doesn't mean you should generalize this to all women.

Church game is no longer working as usual where ladies retire to church to lure an innocent man to marriage after spending up to or more than a decade jumping around the strẹ́ _ et with numerous sugar daddies, married men and other wayward men just to later look for a responsible, intentional man for express marriage

Which one is "luring innocent men" into marriage, so women are automatically the guilty ones? You actually think men are doing women a favour by marrying them? Last I checked, it is still a woman a man would marry. Or do you and your like-minded critics want to take the place of women and start settling down with men yourselves?

Because I still don't understand how a lady attending social gatherings and seeking a potential partner; or being over 20s automatically means she has a "history" to explain. Do men go from house to house searching for a wife? Isn't it the women they meet that they would select from?

If a lady was busy building herself in her 20s or hadn't yet found her potential partner, should she have just married the first man who came along?

It is good for women to have standards and work on themselves. But when a woman is ready to settle down, visibility matters too.

It is not just about intelligence, decency, virginity, or talent. Standards, self-worth, and visibility work hand in hand. Without balance, even a lady with all these attributes can end up with the wrong man. And sometimes, even without them, some ladies still end up with a good man.

I once followed my uncle to a social club frequented by top people in Nigeria. I saw a lady I knew there; she came with one of my uncle's friends. She used to be a tenant in a Lekki property I manage, with rent around 3.8 million naira. She seemed to be in her late 30s, she is a SSCE holder and she was running a small business. I have altered and kept some details vague because my goal is not to single her out. At the time, she was dating multiple men, all of whom were taking care of her, and none of them knew.

Today, she is the wife-to-be of a wealthy, caring man who genuinely loves her. From my observation, though he is very wealthy, he is calm, kind, and not the type to look down on women or treat them like trophies. I know several other cases like this.

I have met women who relocated to Lagos from other states; especially Edo ladies; specifically to find partners, and they succeeded. Meanwhile, some Lagos women still claim there are no good men in the city because of misconceptions passed down to them.

When I say "good men," I don't mean just wealthy men; good men can even be struggling men with strong character, future plans, clear goals, and visible potential. They can be excellent partners because both can grow together.

Critics like you are one of the reasons many people, including men, end up with the wrong partner.

Many women don't go out often, yet complain about a lack of options. Why not attend parties, events or other gatherings to mingle in person? Online dating isn't always the best way to meet quality men.

Forget the misconceptions online that men are scarce. Men are out there, actively looking for women. What is scarce are good women who put themselves out there.

Nightlife is a great option as well. Going out at 7:00 or 8:00 p.m is not inappropriate if you are old enough and wise enough to manage the situation.

Good men aren't going to come knocking on your door. If you want the power to choose instead of settling for what is available, free yourself, go out, and enjoy life.

Visit eateries, restaurants, bars, lounges, or any spots where people gather, especially in the evening, and make yourself visible. Visibility creates opportunity, and opportunity creates choice.

Be confident in yourself. There is a good man for every woman. Many women who are even average-looking have amazing partners.

Dtruthspeaker:
If you see all the threads on relationships and marriage, you would see everything is in a defined and predictable box, having the eternal opening question of "did you not see all these things before you entered it?

Marriage and relationships ain't that complicated however, it is clear that they go twisted because some has 4ukd up the system.

Try not to attribute every pain to failure. We don't know her story or how she met her husband. All we know is that a concerned woman is sharing her experience on nairaland, a faceless forum. It is not like she is posting her husband's pictures or saying ridiculous things about him. She brought up a very valid concern. A lot of married people; not just women, are going through this. Some people stop investing once the relationship is lock in.

Don't deceive yourself: marriage is very complicated. As much as I consider myself wise, I know that if I had married earlier, I could have made a serious mistake. We are human; anything can cloud our judgment, and sometimes the signs might not even be there.

There have been times when I assumed people were good, only to discover with time that they were not. There was a particular guy I could have married in less than three months if I hadn't decided to take my time. I was over the moon for him. The first six months of knowing him felt like heaven on earth. I had fallen for him so deeply that even when he later started acting up, I kept making excuses for him in my head.

But there are certain behaviours I don't excuse, even if they happen just once. My belief is that if a man tries to hit you or actually hits you, he is toxic and is only kind of holding himself back until the relationship is locked in. It took me almost a year to realize his true character.

I don't think many women would knowingly date a man who is emotionally unavailable, unkind, or already behaving badly toward them.

Sometimes, people's true character is not very visible except with time. An uncaring person can easily pretend to be caring for a while, and emotional withdrawal can take time to reveal itself.

Many people marry within just six to eight months of courting, and I don't think one can fully understand someone's character within such a short period. Some relationships are simply based on luck.

Don't be ignorant or selfishly biased; there is pressure on both men and women. Some women are also scared and trying to avoid marriage.

Just as men often feel societal pressure to provide, women face career sacrifices, societal judgments, and family expectations.

Marriage works best when both partners communicate and share responsibilities. It is about how you set the rules for your relationship.

Marriage can sometimes be scary, but for many, it brings great impact and can even turn their lives around. If you treat your marriage as a partnership, supporting each other in different ways, you can truly enjoy it.

Dtruthspeaker:
Would you not ask what she did for her husband to cut her off, if truly she is married?

Of which I do not believe that she is married. It looks like she is crying and dying to be married but she just bent it so that one guy would come and fall for her trap of tears

This kind of thinking is narcissistic. It is like saying, "You can't have a headache because I don't," or "That is the same bank I use, so your experience can't be true." Different people can experience the same situation differently; and both can be valid.

Some people would rather protect a familiar narrative than listen to uncomfortable truths. As a result, a lot of pain goes unheard and unacknowledged. It is troubling how easily people dismiss others' experiences. Invalidating someone's feelings simply because they don't align with your beliefs is not logic; it is a lack of empathy. Pain does not need permission to exist.

Marriage does not guarantee affection, presence, or emotional fulfillment. Many people are married and deeply lonely. Some couples are not deeply connected; they are merely coexisting. Walk into the streets and ask married women the last time their husbands said "I love you," showed affection, or made intentional romantic effort. You would understand that many carry unspoken feelings.

There are times in relationships when a partner is physically present but emotionally unavailable. Some people stop investing once the relationship feels secure. This is why time matters, long-term relationships often reveal the true quality of connection.

KobolanderSegun:
I couldn't agree more.
In today's world especially if you have money getting a prenuptial agreement is the only way to live happily ever after. With a prenuptial agreement when the thing goes south the man will be happy half of his wealth is not getting taken away.

If I was a woman married to a billionaire at divorce time I will ask for just 5 percent of his wealth. The guy will be shocked and the entire world will hear about it. My name will enter all media in the world. And all men will respect me. I trust western media they will turn me into a celebrity and I will be invited to Oscars, Grammy, WHO, World Bank to attend functions and give talks.

Women need to understand to gain respect they have to go against the grain.

The other day Jamie Carriger made a blopper on television " that the AFCON was not a major tournament " he came under pressure by the African community and he apologized and explained himself. Now since the African community were not demanding for his resignation like how whites would have, he knows he messed up but would be grateful for the African Linient spirit.

He will forever be indepted to Africans.

Alot of the time to gain respect you don't take people to the cleaners. You show them you can and then you don't.

Punishment with Mercy is the only way to change people forever.

Structural advantages often favour men in marriage; so why should a woman be expected to ask for less in divorce? Fairness matters far more than optics.

Expecting women to "ask for less" only reinforces the very imbalance we claim to oppose. Even when both parents share responsibility for their children, women often carry the emotional and logistical weight of raising them after a divorce.

Prenups are a personal choice, not a measure of virtue. Respect shouldn't depend on how much a woman is willing to give up, nor should it be earned through self-denial or symbolic gestures.

Divorce is a serious life event, not an opportunity for branding, showcasing, or making history. These matters should be handled quietly and responsibly, especially when children are involved.

What "shameless award"? It is better not to attract unnecessary attention. Protecting your image; and that of your husband or the father of your children; is also protecting your children's image.

What most women want is stability and fairness; not unsolicited admiration for taking less.

He is probably one of those guys who just enjoys bashing or blaming women for no real reason. He brought a woman to his house, so where is the big deal? What exactly is his complaint? Did she steal his house, his car, his money, or any of his assets?

All I see is unnecessary pride and entitlement. He isn't even referring to marriage; just ordinary dating stage that is not certain to lead somewhere.

It makes no sense to expect women to owe men appreciation simply because of their assets, as if dating automatically makes them co-owners. Those assets belong to him alone, and the moment the relationship ends, she loses access to all of them.

APOPTOSIS:
I don't think you have learned your lessons.
I don't think for reaL.
We spend hours leaving out our jobs to educate you "Young Guys" on ladies to avoid and you think we are JOKERS...

I have daughters and will never watch them become Liabilities to their husbands not when I'm alive, healthy and strong. They must stand with pride and high shoulders in order to earn their respect.

Better Wake up and harken to our lectures.
No matter how good or virgin a poor girl is, as long as she is Lazy, poor in reasoning and from a poor home, please AVOID her.
Even women would dissuade their brothers from such families. It's that bad.

The issue is being framed the wrong way. Poverty is not the red flag; traits like laziness, poor reasoning, irresponsibility, weak judgment, lack of discipline, and refusal to grow or improve are the real concerns.

From his write-up, he wasn't foolish or reckless. He was trying to be responsible by setting his priorities straight. Perhaps, he didn't want to marry someone who would remain a liability, so he chose to equip his partner to see if they could grow together as a family unit. That was a wise approach and it could have worked if their values, discipline, and expectations had aligned.

He didn't fail because the lady was poor. He failed because he ignored repeated evidence that she did not share his priorities.

The real lesson here is this: Don't keep investing; emotionally or financially in someone who has repeatedly shown incompatible life goals.

Problems arise when expectations don't match reality. Not everyone (male or female) is wired for business or entrepreneurship. Some women function better as full-time homemakers, and that is perfectly fine; as long as both partners agree on that role from the start.

There is a particular place the government demolished, and they are almost done with the reconstruction. I went there today to ask about the price, and I was almost blown away but I am very determined to get a shop there. I don't know how yet, but I know I will manage because I am goal-driven and not someone who gives up. I am not even talking about ten million; I am talking about real money.

Yes, prices are much higher now compared to before, but sometimes life is not about who is in administration; it is about who God favours. There were people who still did not succeed during those periods.

Determination, hard work, and prayer are key. Be determined to succeed, no matter the administration you find yourself under.

Kobojunkie:
1. Contracts are vows/promises, same as your marriage is. When you don't officially define a clear prenup for your marriage, the government sets up a default contract/vow for you, which, in most cases, denies the woman all rights in marriage. So, it is in your best interest to clearly define and have signed a prenup that states what should take place in the case of infidelity, dissolution, or even the death of one of the parties.🥱🥱

2. Breaches happen, so expect them to be breached as long as you are dating a human being. Prenuptuals/Postnuptuals are meant to protect you in the case of a breach, not keep a breach from taking place. A person who will cheat will cheat... There is nothing you can do to stop or prevent it from happening. 🥱🥱🥱

Prenups don't stop people from breaking obligations, but they set the rules for what happens when they do.

Kobojunkie:
If your vows do not include a prenuptial or postnuptial contract with an infidelity clause and a financial clause, it remains outdated. 🥱🥱🥱

Prenups are legal agreements, not vows.

I'm actually a fan of prenups. They aren't just about protecting money; they also allow you to set clauses that must not be breached.

Host78:
You talk too many things that are untrue.

Regardless of psychology or politics, strength is the sole determiner of power.

Politics, religion and psychology only works when there's already an underlying physical strength.

For instance, regardless of the psychology or religion or politics of the Venezuelan president, without the strength, he's an underdog.

During the race for the atomic bomb, the world was almost at an equilibrium regardless of politics, psychology or religion. Nations possessing these deadly weapons have the strength and they make and break rules as long as their interest is ensured.

Forget those tiny games in your brain. It bears no bearing in the real world unless there are made up rules by the strong.

And queen Elizabeth wasn't a queen because of anything spectacular or because she played any spectacular games.

She was because there was long an established order by her father's and forefathers which the people have come to accept and respect.

It's much like the african kings whose sons get elected almost by nature regardless of their age.

I mean, 7 years old boys were being made kings, were they also playing some spectacular psychological games to keep the people in line?

Again, this only happens because of the consequences of 1. A long established order and 2. Dedication of the physical force (the armies) to preserve these orders.

Now in a world where the dominant force start banding together and having the same thoughts towards the female gender they should watch out.

These same strong men once band together to create the background leveled society they can play their games in (protest for rights, legislate and so on)

The same men can scatter that background and pull every right away.

It happens all the time. Look at war times.

Ordinary, you cannot kîll anyone anywhere in the world and go free. But in war time, the strong men suddenly pull the constitution away and suddenly it becomes legal to kîll.

You think anything changed other than the withdrawal of the constitution?

I use to say this to my friends "while the Christians in Nigeria are trying to be politically correct and sensible, the Muslim terrorists don't care.

And who do you think are dying?

Politics, psychology, religion etc all mean nothing without raw strength in the background holding things together.

So much delusion. If strength alone ruled, why can't a physically strong man just walk into Aso Rock and take power? Or why can't Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson stroll into the White House tomorrow and declare himself president? He can't because real power isn't muscle; it is systems, alliances, legitimacy, and strategy. Even the strongest person cannot override the structures that organize and protect authority.

Armies obey commanders, not the strongest soldier. Governments function because of laws, bureaucracies, and collective compliance. Without these systems, even the most physically powerful person would live under constant threat. Strength alone produces temporary chaos, not lasting control.

Yes, strength matters in war or self-defense but it is merely a tool. Even the most physically strong people can live under someone else's command because strength itself is not power. Tools are regularly bought, recruited, coordinated, or bent by strategy and intelligence. Resources such as networks, loyal supporters, and money buy influence, recruit allies, and direct strength. Muscle may intimidate, but strategy controls outcomes.

The idea that nature favours men over women collapses under basic reality. Every man was once a child who came through a woman. Harm a woman, and eventually her children, including her sons; become part of the social force that answers back. Power does not disappear; it reorganizes. Strength has limits. Consequences do not.

History shows that muscle rarely lasts in power. Many of the strongest were overpowered, betrayed, or killed. In a world without rules, even the toughest become prey. Civilization is what turns strength into order, rules into stability, and chaos into lasting power. Without it, even the strongest are vulnerable.

Women like Hatshepsut ruled Egypt through religious legitimacy and political strategy. Wu Zetian rose from concubine to Emperor of China through intelligence and administrative skill. Catherine the Great seized and expanded the Russian Empire through alliances, bureaucracy, and controlled military support. Muscle didn't make them rulers; brains, loyalty, and planning did.

A child king or queen may inherit a throne, but without alliances, advisors, and strategy, they remain vulnerable. Clever individuals can create authority and sustain it without even being among the strongest. Strength may win fights, but intelligence, networks, and influence outlast brute force every time.

Even in a society without laws, clever men and women survive by forming alliances, exchanging favours, and gathering loyal supporters. Try attacking a woman who commands loyal allies, you won't be the one in control; she will be the one writing your fate. Power belongs to the one who commands strength, not the one who merely has it.

Remove laws entirely. Can you overpower a woman who commands loyal bodyguards or allies? No, because power belongs to the one who controls people, not the one with the biggest muscles. Muscle can intimidate, but great minds decide outcomes.

In short: strength may scare, but strategy, alliances, loyalty, and institutions win history.
That is why civilizations endure; and why women, whether inheriting power or acquiring it on their own, can rule, survive, and shape the world without ever throwing a punch.

Traditional Christian Vow (Outdated)

Bride
I, (Bride's Name), take you, (Groom's Name), to be my lawful husband,
to love you, honour you, obey you, and submit to you,
in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer,
for better, for worse, till death do us part,
according to God's holy ordinance;
and this is my solemn vow.

Groom
I, (Groom's Name), take you, (Bride's Name), to be my lawful wife,
to love you, honour you, and be faithful to you,
in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer,
for better, for worse, till death do us part,
according to God's holy ordinance;
and this is my solemn vow.

Suggested Christian Vow

Bride
I, (Bride's Name), take you, (Groom's Name), to be my lawful husband.

I vow to make our home a sanctuary of laughter, trust, and understanding,
where love, calmness, and care guide every word and action.

I promise to love you faithfully, honour you, cherish you, respect you, support you, and give you peace abundantly.

May our love never be broken by violence or Infidelity,
for these are the boundaries that keep our forever sacred.

This is my solemn vow.

Groom
I, (Groom's Name), take you, (Bride's Name), to be my lawful wife.

I vow to make our home a sanctuary of laughter, trust, and understanding,
where love and care guide every word and action.

I promise to love you faithfully, honour you, cherish you, support you and protect you in every season of life.

May our love never be broken by violence or Infidelity,
for these are the boundaries that keep our forever sacred.

This is my solemn vow.

Curtis03360:
Only men without adequate money thirsts for career driven ladies when a submissive woman would give you all the bliss of life and could be set up in her line of work or business…hard to see any real money bags or odogwu chief marrying a career driven woman.

Perhaps by 'submissive' you mean 'an obedient woman without her own ambitions or career'? History disagrees with you. Modern billionaires like Bill Gates (Melinda French Gates), Mark Zuckerberg (Priscilla Chan), Sergey Brin (Anne Wojcicki), Jeff Bezos (MacKenzie Scott), Elon Musk (Grimes), Mukesh Ambani (Nita Ambani) and many more are married to or dating highly accomplished, independent women.

The truth is, it is insecurity, not wealth, that makes some men feel threatened by successful women. Top men value ambition, independence, and partnership, not blind submission.

I encourage respect, not submission.

The problem with the word submission is not emotion, but definition. Submission is often used to justify control. To submit to someone is to surrender yourself entirely to them. Not all women ends up with a wise men, so submission can be a dangerous game. Imagine submitting to a foolish man. If he is cruel, jealous, or insecure, submission becomes perilous. If he says destroy your business, you must obey. If he says tear your certificates, you must comply.

If a husband chooses harm, submission offers no defense. In the hands of another human being, submission is enslavement.

Respecting a partner is not the same as submitting to them. Submission is spiritual; relationships are social. In absolute terms, submission belongs to God alone; the surrender of one's will to God, not to another human being. Human relationships are built on respect, responsibility, and accountability. What is healthy in marriage is cooperation and respect, not surrender of will.

Respect allows wisdom and dialogue; submission silences them. In submission, a man could foolishly command his wife to "hit your head on the wall," and obedience would be expected. Submission easily leads to abuse. A marriage where abuse must be endured in the name of submission is not holy, healthy, or humane.

Host78:
Before now everyone say don't touch a woman no matter what.

That landscape is changing really quickly. Men today are saying "if you hit, you should be able to take back"

And this taking back is where the danger lies for women in the future.

Women have rights not because they are deserving of these rights or because they "fought" for these rights.

Women got their rights because stronger men allowed it.

Yes, women have rights because men allowed it.

They may think they fought for their rights. But there was no fighting at all.

Men simply passed laws to protect them. And these laws are not built in nature. They are merely documents protected by strong men.

And like every document, they can be torn up and thrown into the trash bins by the strongest (which are always men).

Take for instance, in democracy the government is protected by constitution which is merely a piece of paper protected by the strongest (our armed forces)

Once sufficient numbers of armed forces get together and say no to it, the president and civilians suddenly become powerless.

Yes, now the president can reign supreme, pretend to be all powerful and behave like he's the almighty.

But that's because the armies are playing the pretend game of living by the constitution.

And I think women today are pushing most men towards each other.

They are daring more men and these men are getting into the same mental space.

And more importantly, they are banding together on social media.

A few years ago, it was believe all women, today fewer and fewer men are believing women.

A few years ago, a man gives up his chair to a woman, opens doors and will stop to help if she's been attacked.

Today, no man does this.

That protective nature which made men draft women's right is getting lost and once that is completel eroded, it becomes the survival of the strongest.

Wow ... you have single-handedly condensed centuries of history, law, and human civilization into the idea that everything depends on the ego of the strongest man. Lazy ass, you simply don't understand power, society, or rights.

Let me unpack your masterpiece of nonsense: Women didn't receive rights because men woke up generous one morning. They protested, resisted, voted, and risked their lives to force societies to change. Laws weren't written out of kindness; they were written because chaos, oppression, and brute force don't work long-term.

Muscle isn't power. Real power is political, moral, and social. Without laws, institutions, and societal order, even the strongest would be unsafe, and nothing could be controlled.

Your obsession with "survival of the strongest" exposes the biggest flaw in your argument: if humans truly lived by brute strength, there would be no laws, no armies, no governments; and people like you wouldn't last long at all. Life doesn't reward ego; it rewards cooperation, intelligence, and systems. That is why civilization exists.

What we call armies would just be organized mobs if they weren't operating within laws and societal systems. Strength alone never guarantees control. Even armies are not powerful on their own, they are tools of power
shaped by political leadership, and the legitimacy that directs their use. Which is why they surrender when larger systems, alliances, or collective pressures demand it.

Rights aren't pieces of paper protected by men or fragile gifts from strong men. They are social contracts that protect everyone, including ordinary men like you. The "survival of the strongest" idea is a naive fantasy: the same laws that protect women also prevent someone stronger from taking what you have. Strip those away, and you don't become powerful; you become expendable.

Strong female leaders, like Queen Elizabeth I, ruled and survived because they understood power, laws, alliances, and institutions; not through physical strength. Strength alone never guarantees survival or power; something your whole argument completely ignores.

Civilization isn't about brute force; it's about cooperation, intelligence, and systems. Social media hasn't erased men's protective nature; it exposes insecurity in men who confuse dominance with strength and fear equality because it removes imagined leverage.

If rights only exist because men allow them, then your entire sense of security depends on pretending civilization is optional. It isn't. And if "survival of the strongest" were true, trust me; you wouldn't even survive a week.

Stop fantasizing about power and start understanding why society exists in the first place. Laws and rights aren't optional gifts; they are the backbone of civilization.

CandidNotes:
if this makes you sleep well at night, knock yourself out!

Predictable; just the usual pick-me line to dodge logic. Slow down, doll, I'm not even chasing but facts don't care.

Host78:
Do something for me please.

Place one hand on your head and lift the other one up like you are pointing towards the sky.

Now say this carefully, "God, please deliver me from every spirit of stůpidity disguised as wisdom. Amen"

This is why psychiatrists often emphasize that when you take them home, you ensure they keep taking their mediations.

Why daily prayers alone? What about his daily meditations?

Now, he has entered the delusional stage. See him just reciting his daily prayers to everybody he comes across. Sorry dear, where is your carer?

Host78:
As usual, these girls all think there's a special billionaire CEO waiting for them somewhere.

A billionaire who will see them, fall in love hopelessly and marry them with huge fanfare wedding.

Their wedding will be the talk of the nation and then they will jet out to some luxurious place for honeymoon.

And all this while, they have less than N50k in their personal account.

And on top of that, they can't cook or clean because in their fantasies, they just wanna "relax and be taken care of".

In their imagination, they just wanna enter Uber and say "take me home" and the Uber driver will just take them home and they will leave without paying anything.

Because, they are "queens" with standards

My question is, "where you Wan see billionaire from?"

All your life, you've not seen a billionaire before and suddenly when it's time for marriage you think one will magically appear abi?

Omo, make una dey calm down. Stop creating impossible situations in your head and reacting to it.

Even Chioma of Davido got there by cooking and cleaning.

And you wey no get urgent twokay dey talk nonsense online with your plastic wig.

Like Gehgeh always say, "most of una go marry broke guys because na wetin be una level be that"

Guys with money no just dey. The sooner you realize this and start preparing for it the better.

Peace

There is nothing wrong with women choosing comfort. Hiring domestic staff isn't a luxury; you don't even have to be a billionaire to afford help. Couples who are financially comfortable can easily spare 250,000 naira or more a month for household staff.

Not every woman is thinking of marrying a billionaire. Some women simply want a partner who is responsible, contributes to the household, and allows for a comfortable, balanced life.

Even middle-class couples can manage domestic staff if they budget properly. Comfort doesn't mean laziness; it means living in a way that reduces unnecessary stress and allows both partners to thrive.

CandidNotes:
1. There is a consequence for EVERY ACTION, good or bad. Immediately or in the future.

2. Wife not cook, wife, not maid is a ridiculous ideology; it’s a woman’s responsibility to NURTURE HER FAMILY and she should do it WITH PRIDE.

3. Don’t waste your time fighting men over who is the head of THE HOME. Your husband is THE HEAD OF YOUR HOME. Every other man around you is the head of HIS OWN HOME…

4. Sex is spiritual; life is spiritual. The Netflix and chill you are doing with that guy today, will complicate your life in the future…

5. Virginity is not old fashioned; REAL MEN will be over the moon, with a virgin wife. They’ll respect and treasure you for the rest of your life. By the way, they’ll boast to friends and family about your virginity and those people too would respect you for it…

6. MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY; if you want your husband’s respect, if you want to prevent side chicks, if you want to secure your children and your future, if you want your man to be IN AWE OF YOU, MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY…

7. Finally, but most importantly, know God, walk with Him, trust in Him. E get why…

Can you name ten politicians or billionaires, anywhere in the world, who married virgin?

If "real men" to you are just the average Nigerian men you meet on the street hyping virginity, then I hope you are not being delusional.

Virginity is simply a Biblical value, but it is not a relationship advantage. Quit assuming it guarantees a good husband. If not handled wisely, it can even become a disadvantage.

Real men value women who are confident, intelligent, and accomplished.

Cooking is not wrong, and it may be necessary in some homes, but it should not be treated as the ultimate measure of a woman. Not cooking does not send anyone to hell, nor does it destroy a woman's happiness or her home.

As the saying goes, another man's food is another man's poison.

Some men do not even want wives who cook. A friend once joked, "If I marry you, I wouldn't let you bring this your fine skin into the kitchen." When another man intruded and tried to impose his baseless standards, my friend replied, "When you marry, you can build a bedroom for your wife in the kitchen; but don't tell me how to run my own home."

Families need room to breathe. Many relationship problems are fueled by outsiders and their expectations.

I have even seen men complain that, despite hiring chefs and maids to help their wives, their wives still stress themselves too much.

Wealth may impress, but character sparks true connection. Women want successful men who are responsible and aligned with their values, not just anyone with money.

Being rich isn't the same as being successful. Some rich people aren't successful, and some successful people aren't rich. Success means different things to different people.

A lady won't just feel like dating or marrying a guy just because he is successful. Not all love is romantic; some love comes from respect and admiration. There are people I admire so much that just being around them makes me happy, but marriage; never crossed my mind. I see them as mentors, role models, senior figures, or inspirations. Honestly, if they asked me out, it might feel awkward because I hold them in such high esteem.

Success can earn respect and admiration, but it doesn't mean every woman with integrity will want you just because you are successful. True admiration comes from a combination of qualities. There are other traits women value, such as integrity, responsibility, kindness, and more.

Men who are successful but irresponsible or full of bad behaviour are more likely to attract deceivers.

essentialone:
J.D.P.

Just Dey Play

Facts don't need validation

essentialone:
You missed the point. That acronym shows that ladies are generally lazy and disgusting, and their only value is their Yanch and everything related to it.

It is easy to tell when a guy has independent sisters; they tend to be more mature and respectful toward women. Don't use the lifestyle of your sisters to assume that all women are lazy.

Hard work and laziness are individual traits, not gender-based. I have seen women who are extremely hardworking. Some women are even the breadwinners in their homes.

No doubt, there are lazy women, but it is not a gender thing.

I know a man who refuses to work. His wife is even the breadwinner of the family. When offered a job, he declines.

I also know a particular woman who doesn't want to work. She often asks me for money, but when I offered her a job, she declined, saying that starting work at 7:30 a.m was too early. I even introduced her to plantain and potato chips business, bought everything she needed, showed her how to run it, and even taught her a helpful hack to make slicing easier but she complained it was too stressful and gave up on the business.

The plantain and potato chips business was actually one of my first small ventures; my humble beginnings. I still make them at home occasionally. Presently, I am frying some sliced potatoes. I prepared some as a side for the meal I prepared for my friends during the festive season, and one friend liked it so much that he asked me to make some for him again.

It is possible you are only surrounded by lazy ladies, but in general, women are hardworking.

We were just unnecessarily worked up. We would actually be asked to declare our incomes ourselves; it is not like it would be taken it out of the accounts.

Many people earning close to or above one million monthly might move their primary accounts to foreign banks, and the government will have limited ability to stop this because many politicians also have foreign accounts. Lower income earners would also find ways around it.

I think many people are just quietly waiting to see how things will play out. Even God did not demand 20% of our income. They didn't even start at 5%. How many people can conveniently forgo 20% in a system like this? It is very likely to lead to protests if people are unable to find a way around it. Anything over 5% is too much in this economy.

They should not just touch the 10,000 naira that would remain in my account.

BigYash:
If they say go protest now,you no go come out. So make everybody bear am.. If everybody don tire , everybody go cry out..

If there is a well-organized protest like the EndSARS movement, I don't think many people would mind joining. I went to EndSARS protest, and I even shared shawarma and drinks with some other protesters I met there. Some of them mentioned and tagged my brand on Twitter. The protest was well-organized, but later some hoodlums were probably sent to cause problems.

femi4:
Comprehension zero

If you like name the dog kiddaz and shower together daily ..the fact that my background n cultural practice sees them as barbecue won't change the way I would react when I see your dog

Kiddaz might be your pet but it is food to me. Don't blame me, I was wired like that until I come to a point I can unlearn n re learn

Whether in your culture dogs are seen as barbeque or pepper soup, it doesn't change the fact that you should respect other people's boundaries.

Just like someone who doesn't like kids shouldn’t marry a person with kids, if you cannot tolerate dogs, the responsible choice is to avoid them or their owners, not harm or mistreat someone's family.

Those dogs you might eat on the street are one thing, but coming into my home and hurting or referring to my family as barbeque crosses a line.

This is why it is good to have big and brave dogs like German Shepherds or Dobermans as well, anyone unfamiliar with them cannot just misbehave toward them.

Maltreating my pets is the same as maltreating my family, my pets are family. That is a huge red flag for me.