Merry100's Posts

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Romance › Re: Poor Past Wants Rich Future! by Merry100: 9:31am On Apr 21

Dtruthspeaker:
These threads prove you are a liar.

https://www.nairaland.com/4155106/why-more-nigerian-girls-becoming#62035529

https://www.nairaland.com/1146407/men-blamed-female-gold-diggers#13607224

https://www.nairaland.com/2985435/counter-thread-why-lagos-ladies#43701461

And where before you said that women should be financially prepared to come to the table now you are trying to defend gold diggers. And you were saying that not all women.

As I always, na phu dey biliv woman

You are the one being inconsistent here. You keep shifting the claim from "every woman" to "majority of women" to "gold diggers." You are simply dancing around the actual point.

There is no contradiction in what I said. Saying women should be financially prepared is about personal responsibility in relationships. That is not the same as labeling women as gold diggers. You are mixing two different ideas to avoid addressing the actual point.

And whether you say "every woman" or "the majority of women," it is still a broad generalization about women as a group, which includes me.

To make a serious claim, you need to have actual evidence, not assumptions. Random forum posts are not data, not research, and not proof of anything beyond individual opinions. Selective links from biased discussions do not establish any population-wide conclusion.

If you want to be taken seriously, provide actual evidence; not all this fanfare 🤣

Romance › Re: Poor Past Wants Rich Future! by Merry100: 1:44pm On Apr 20*

Dtruthspeaker:
Generalization is as a result of the majority conduct, so we must generalize. And in every generalization we are aware of its exceptionalization. However, the exception is the one with the burden of proving itself.

And nonetheless your point is correct.

Your generalization is completely invalid. Assumptions, whether individual or collective, are not facts. Facts require evidence.

Less than 10% of Nigeria population can boast of having 10 million naira and above?

In the absence of widespread gold, how exactly did you arrive at the conclusion that the majority of women are gold diggers?

Given Nigeria's economic reality, there isn't even enough "gold" in circulation for most women to dig. The majority of Nigerian women don't have access to gold, so your claim is not logical. You can't accuse the majority of women of something they haven't done based on assumptions about what you think they would do.

Romance › Re: Poor Past Wants Rich Future! by Merry100: 11:03am On Apr 20*

Dtruthspeaker:
Ad hominem/ad feminam fallacy.

Fair point on tone. That said, I don't agree with how your comment came across as a generalization either. My point is simply that it is important for both sides to be reasonably prepared, especially financially, before marriage.

1 Like

Romance › Re: It Is Normal And Expected For 20 Something Year old Men To Be Broke by Merry100: 10:28am On Apr 20

Being broke doesn't mean a guy is irresponsible; there are actually broke guys with potentials. Dating while broke is fine, but the idea of people proceeding to marriage while they are financially unstable is irresponsible. Personally, I can't be broke and consider marriage.

I don't have an issue with just dating a broke guy. I recall a guy I once considered dating. He had just finished university and was preparing for his NYSC, so he wasn't financially stable at the time. I supported him financially, sending him money and airtime, even though he didn't ask for it. He eventually became financially okay, but I had to abandon the idea of dating him because I later realized we weren't compatible.

3 Likes

Romance › Re: Poor Past Wants Rich Future! by Merry100: 10:21am On Apr 20

Dtruthspeaker:
Lies!
0
Why don't you people stabilize yourself?

The problem with many of you is that you assume every woman is like your sisters or girlfriends who aren't intentional about their lives.

Romance › Re: Poor Past Wants Rich Future! by Merry100: 9:38am On Apr 20

tanigororo:
I guess you failed the comprehension part,
A ladys past is equivalent to the future of a man.

You clearly missed the point. I clarified the difference between stability and gold digging to address; and dismiss the flawed generalization.

Romance › Re: Poor Past Wants Rich Future! by Merry100: 3:00pm On Apr 19

Hypnotise:
Poor or rich, there is an element of gold digging in every woman

Some people fail to distinguish between valuing stability and gold digging. Many women simply value stability. It is irresponsible for a man or woman to enter marriage without being reasonably prepared for its responsibilities. That is why many responsible people, both men and women, focus on achieving their core goals before marriage because they understand the importance of building a good life.

Romance › Re: You Can Never Be Fine Or Okay As A Single Girl At 35 Or 40 Says A Lady by Merry100: 2:05pm On Apr 19

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving.

Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer.

To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. But suffering makes one unhappy.

Therefore, to be happy, one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness.

20 Likes 2 Shares

Romance › Re: If A Lady Ever Tell You That She Does Not Date A Married Man, Then You Are Poor! by Merry100: 1:43pm On Apr 19

Cum4me:
You're right broke married men suffer from those girls too much. 90% of Nigeria girls useless. The day you buy car start dressing well. You go see how poor men girls child are so desperate to have you.

Who chases something that has no value? That is like pouring water into a leaking cup.

A broke man is like a tree without fruit, standing tall but offering nothing.

A broke woman still has value; at least she can perform household responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, and washing, and also provide emotional support.

Romance › Re: There Is No Man You Say 'sir' To That Would Not Love Or Consider Loving You. by Merry100: 4:39pm On Apr 09*

Gbadugbakun:
Not just sir, she should kneel down whenever am talking to her. That's total submission.

Your dreams can only come true if you find a gullible, unwise woman. You are not more human than a woman; I still don't understand where all this unnecessary ego comes from. Why do you feel your wife has to kneel for you? What makes you so special?

What is even more shocking is that the men who treat their wives poorly are often the ones who feel most entitled to respect.

Gestures like kneeling or calling a husband "sir" are personal responses to being loved and cared for; they are not to be demanded or expected. Even Abraham didn't demand them, and God didn't command them of Sarah. They were acts of love, not obligations. Sarah was barren, yet she was still respected and cherished. Today, many barren women are insulted, belittled, and abandoned.

I don't see anything wrong in a woman kneeling for her husband or calling him "sir" or even "daddy," but if she gives these gestures to a man who doesn't love, care for, or emotionally neglects her, she is simply enslaving herself. That is what slaves do; they serve their master regardless of how poorly they are treated.

Ladies, don't be deceived; a man who genuinely loves you already feels it. Respect can deepen an existing love, but it cannot make a non-existing love appear out of thin air.

1 Like

Romance › Re: There Is No Man You Say 'sir' To That Would Not Love Or Consider Loving You. by Merry100: 2:03pm On Apr 09*

Girl, be careful with this mindset. The idea that "saying sir" will automatically make a man love or respect you is false and can backfire. "Yes sir" belongs mainly in professional or formal settings; it is not a love language.

Unprofessional behaviour has limited many women. Imagine how responsible women feel working in an environment where a boss or superior is hitting on them. Not every "I want you" or "I love you" is genuine love, and not every woman wants to end up as a plaything. It is best for a woman to set boundaries and focus on the job she was hired to do.

Even in informal settings, many men who pursue women displaying unnecessary submissive gestures aren't in it for love; they are after control and the freedom to behave recklessly.

Don't confuse obligatory gestures with real respect. Saying "yes sir" to superiors, bowing, kneeling, or prostrating for elders are just formalities.

Real respect, the kind that matters in relationships, cannot be learned, demanded, or forced. It develops naturally over time and is built on trust, responsibility, and character. If respect isn't built, it may never be real. You can't force it or fake it for long; eventually, it fades. Wise women find it difficult to respect foolish men, especially those who have been reckless, selfish, or self-centered from the start.

First impressions last. Consistency in the early stages matters. A partner earns respect by being responsible, thoughtful, and caring from the start. Once genuine respect is formed, it is hard to break; even when mistakes are made, it can persist and sometimes inspire understanding.

On the other hand, if someone acts selfishly or recklessly from the beginning, any respect shown may just be an obligatory gesture, the kind society expects women to give their partners. Such respect rarely lasts and can collapse quickly.

You are only simply misquoting the Bible "God never commanded women to submit to their husbands."

1 Like

Romance › Re: Is It True That Some Women Bring Wealth/glory After Marrige. by Merry100: 12:50am On Apr 07

No woman is bad luck. You guys just look for every possible way to blame women. Even when women have no fault, you create one in your imagination.

Ladies, some men are very selfish; they can even marry you for the wrong reasons. If your partner starts talking about you having a "star" or some special power, try to convince him that there is no such thing.

Through my nature and the way I am treated by others, I have come to understand that the "weaker" you appear, the more likely you are to be treated better. By nature, I seem small and fragile. Male friends often see me as a girl rather than a woman. They literally babysit me: "You can't carry that," "I will help you cross the road," "Oh my God, you are cold," "Why are you so pale? Are you sure you are alright?" and so on.

Although that is just how I seem naturally, it has made me realize that many women are probably treated badly because they often display too much strength and self-worth.

I know of a woman whose husband believed she had a "good star," and that is why he married her. It is very clear that he doesn't love her. Coincidentally, he became very successful after their marriage, and now he can't let go of her because of that belief. Unfortunately, she is paying dearly for it. He isn't in love with her; his only attraction is the idea that she brings him luck. He even fears that if she has an affair, her "luck" might transfer to another man. Because of this, he made her a full-time housewife and gives her a monthly allowance.

He disrespects her constantly by being unfaithful. He even has two other wives. The first wife lives in his main house, while he built separate houses for the other two wives and often goes there to spend time with them. Meanwhile, his first wife is often neglected.

Every woman deserves to be loved and treated right. It is simple logic: the more you treat others well, the more you receive good in return. God can bless you for treating your wife with love and respect. Simply marry someone you truly love and treat her right.

Romance › Re: “All Men Are The Same”… Or You’re Picking The Same Man In Different Bodies? by Merry100: 12:03am On Apr 06

I found a new coach.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZS98GFEATsvPw-3RstI/

Romance › Re: 7 Signs A Woman Has Been Conditioned To See Men Mainly As Providers by Merry100: 3:50pm On Apr 05

Brownlumi:
7 Signs a Woman Has Been Conditioned to See Men Mainly as Providers

(Not always evil. But definitely important to notice.)
What brought about this topic? Recently, I was chatting with a lady, the vibes was good and she was just daddying me, and viola! she dropped the "i want to eat shawarma, it's just 5k now..." and I'm like, this soon, moreover, I'm supposed to be a stranger to you!!!
So, First, an important disclaimer:

This is not about attacking women.
And it’s not saying every woman who likes provision is bad because let’s be honest, most adults want some level of stability, generosity, and competence in a partner.
That’s normal.
This is about something more specific:
When a woman’s mental model of men becomes heavily transactional
Meaning: “A man’s value is strongly tied to what he can provide materially.”
That kind of conditioning can come from past relationships, family upbringing, social media, friends, survival mentality, or sugar-daddy type dynamics and when it’s there, it often shows up in patterns like these:

1) She introduces money too early: This is one of the clearest signs. If a woman barely knows a man and already money is entering the conversation through airtime, food, transport, “small help”, gifts, “just 5k”, “who will spoil me?”, “I’m hungry”, “I need data” …that is usually not random. It often means she is already operating from a frame like:
“Let’s see whether this connection can produce something tangible.”
Now, some people do this playfully but playful billing is still billing and once money enters too early, it often tells you: provision is not a later layer for her — it’s part of the opening script.
That matters bro!

2) Her strongest attraction language is “what can he do for me?”: This one is subtle but very revealing. Watch how she talks about men she likes or respects. If her admiration is heavily centered on things like: “He takes care of me”, “He spends on me”, “He sorts me”, “He handles things”, “He doesn’t come empty-handed”, “He knows how to spoil a woman”…then you’re getting a clue.
Now, again, there’s nothing wrong with appreciating generosity but if the core admiration keeps circling back to: resource output more than character, values, emotional intelligence, integrity, compatibility
…then provision may be sitting too close to the center of her attraction map.
That is worth noticing.
3) She treats financial gestures as proof of seriousness: This is a very big one. In this mindset, a man is not truly “serious” unless he spends. So things like listening, consistency, emotional maturity, honesty, effort, presence,
may not fully count unless there is also money, gifts, payment or “sorting. Tha creates a dangerous dynamic because it means:
sincerity alone may not be legible to her unless it becomes material.
And that can quietly push a man into a loop where he starts feeling like he must: prove himself, keep spending, keep performing financially just to maintain emotional standing.
That’s not healthy.

4) She’s very comfortable asking — even when it’s inappropriate: This is one of the loudest tells. Some people won’t ask because they still have an internal boundary like: “No, that’s too soon.” But a woman who has become heavily provider-conditioned may be surprisingly comfortable asking for things from men in situations where many others would hesitate.

Examples: asking a stranger for money, asking early in the chat stage, asking repeatedly without much shame, framin requests as normal banter, acting surprised when there’s resistance. That comfort level is important because it often means:
the request no longer feels unusual to her.
It feels normal. And that kind of normalization doesn’t usually appear from nowhere.

5) She uses softness, pet names, or emotional tone as a bridge to extraction: This is a big one. She may not always say:
“Send me money.” Instead, she creates a mood where the ask feels emotionally natural.
This can look like: “Daddy 🥺”, “Aww now…”, “You don’t care 😞”, “Who will help me?”, “It’s just small na”, “I’m hungry 😩”, “I wish I had…”

This is powerful because it makes the request feel less like a transaction and more like:

a caring response to her emotional state.
That is how many people get drawn in. It doesn’t always mean she is consciously manipulative. Sometimes it’s just a relational style she has learned works. But either way:

softness can become a delivery system for extraction.
And that’s important to recognize.

6) Her “jokes” about money are too consistent to be just jokes: This is one many guys ignore. A one-off “my love language is money” joke means very little.
But if the money theme keeps showing up again and again through: “credit alert”, “spoil me”, “my love language is money”, “money makes me happy”, “money bouquet”, “who go sort me?”…then at some point, you need to stop saying: “Maybe she’s joking” and start asking: “What if this is actually part of her real value system?” Because often repeated jokes are disguised declarations. People frequently hide their real orientation inside humor because humor gives them deniability. So if you challenge it, they can always say: “Ahn ahn, I was joking na.”
But if it keeps repeating, pay attention.
That repetition is data.

7) She seems more energized by benefits than by connection: This is the deepest sign of all. The question becomes: What really lights her up? Is it: meaningful conversation, mutual understanding, emotional safety, shared humor, values, chemistry? Or does she come alive most when there is money,
gifts,“sorting,” material possibility, provider signals?
That distinction is huge because some people enjoy the atmosphere of being liked but are especially animated by the rewards of being valued materially.
That can create relationships that feel exciting at first but are structurally unbalanced.
And those are the kinds of dynamics that often leave one person feeling: “I gave a lot, but I’m not sure what this really was.”
Painful, but common.
So what do you do if you notice these signs?
This is the part that matters most. Don’t become: bitter, insulting, or self-righteous. And also don’t become: naive, generous-by-pressure or emotionally blind.
The correct response is:

Boundaries + observation
That means: don’t reward early extraction, don’t rush into provider mode, don’t confuse chemistry with character, don’t assume warmth equals sincerity and don’t ignore repeated money framing
Instead, ask: “Who is this person when money is removed?” That one question can save you:
time, stress, confusion, and unnecessary debit alerts 😄 Because when you remove: gifts, favors, airtime, transport, “small help,” you get to see what actually remains of the connection.
And that’s where the truth often lives.
Final reality check

A woman can be sweet, funny, attractive, warm, emotionally expressive…and still fundamentally relate to men through provider expectation.That’s the part many guys struggle to accept because they think “But she’s nice.”
Yes.
She may be nice but niceness and non-transactionality are not the same thing.
Very important distinction.
Final street translation 😄

If every road with her eventually bends toward: money, sorting, spending, or “what are you bringing?”…then my brother, she may not be building with you. She may just be budgeting you.

Imbalance and entitlement are wrong; a woman should have her own source of income rather than relying on a relationship as leverage. That said, number 3 on your list is misleading.

There is no reason to dismiss financial support; it can be a genuine proof of seriousness. Love can be expressed in many ways, and meaningful investment is among the most reliable, because it is harder to fake. A man who only wants a fling is unlikely to support a woman's vision in any substantial way. For example, only few men would invest something as significant as 25 million naira in someone they are not serious about.

As the saying goes, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Consistent investment; support, effort, and presence is a strong indicator of genuine care. Scripture reinforces this principle. John 3:16 shows that love is inseparable from giving: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son."

Love is not one-sided. Women also demonstrate care by supporting their partners, including financially when needed.

Words alone are not enough. Some men are just players. How can a woman be sure of a man's sincerity without tangible proof? Has he ever risked his life for her, donated a kidney in a critical situation, or gone to extreme lengths to impress her, such as hunting a lion? It is not even advisable for a lady to just believe a guy is genuinely in love with her without clear indications.

Practical support is the clearest evidence of genuine care. Listening, consistency, emotional maturity, honesty, effort, or sweet talk are not enough on their own. Humans need substantial evidence; leave sincerity to God.

Love goes beyond words; it is revealed through consistent action. When someone truly values you, it shows in what they are willing to invest; time, effort, money, and attention. Words, poems, gifts, or flowers can be gestures for a fling. Practical support is harder to fake, so it is more trustworthy.

True care naturally drives action and leaves meaningful impressions. Even men with limited finances can show love through intention, consistency, and effort; what matters is meaningful action, not the amount of money.

Almost every relationship begins with "I love you," yet many marriages fail. Without investment, effort, or support, love is difficult to call genuine; it may be convenience rather than true connection.

It is wiser to step back when intentions are unclear rather than gamble. Relationships should not rely on words or emotions alone; they require visible commitment and meaningful action.

Romance › Re: I Dey Knack My Ex Pas Her Boyfriend (picture) by Merry100: 11:25am On Apr 02

Richarlison640:
Knack am well well your mate they count better cars them get better business, house and Investment your own na knack, oya knack all the style if you no get condom let me know we go buy for you

Romance › Re: Benue Lady Turns Down Boyfriend Proposal At Her Friend's Wedding by Merry100: 3:47pm On Mar 31

Henjor48:
because na broke guy.
If he's wealthy, she dare say NO, trust me and guy won't even bother kneeling down for a none-nvirgin.

You even added "trust me" to your nonsense. Do you know her personally, or are you just one of those who think all women would say yes to a man simply because he is wealthy? Even if the females in your family are naive and think this way, you don't have to project it onto all women.

The lady might not even be at fault. Some men move things ahead of time.

My boyfriend is financially stable, but if he proposed to me publicly right now, I might say yes just to save him from embarrassment, but it might not be genuine, because we are still in the getting to know each other stage.

To be very honest, he is very generous. Some of his gestures are even quite shocking. I often decline the ones I find too extreme, so I don't find myself making decisions out of impulse or guilt.

1 Like

Health › Re: Congolese Doctor Caught On Camera Beating A Woman Who Just Gave Birth (Video) by Merry100: 11:11am On Mar 27

Oh God, this is beyond disturbing 😭 The pain, the fear, the helplessness… no woman deserves this. Women risk their lives to bring life into this world, and this is how they are treated? And people still dare to question a woman's worth? It is beyond heartbreaking. 💔

2 Likes 1 Share

Romance › Re: A Single Lady Apologizes To Men After Realizing Women Are Nothing Without Men by Merry100: 3:59pm On Mar 26

Lovelink1991:
A single lady who once boasted that women can live well without men has turn back to tender an apologies after living without a man for many years, asking for forgiveness over her comments against men

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vex0uJcPla8?si=pfF7ePG4efThdoJE

Funny how some women think their feelings translate to all of us. So now, just because she is out seeking forgiveness, men are a basic need for every woman 🤣🤣🤣

Romance › Re: A Single Lady Apologizes To Men After Realizing Women Are Nothing Without Men by Merry100: 3:39pm On Mar 26

franchasofficia:
Eh yaah, only a fool says there is no God!

Just as only ignorant ladies believe they can live without a man till old age.

Thank you all for your attention to this matter

Basic needs: food, water, clothing, shelter. A man isn't on the list. It is better to be without a man than to be with a worthless one who brings unhappiness, disrespect, or misery 😏.

Romance › Re: Before You Married Her She Was Active On Social Media Like Nairaland, Twitter Et by Merry100: 1:06pm On Mar 26*

SpencerForbes:
I totally get your point. But I’m not even judging them based on their comments alone; it’s about the kind of "diet" they consume on this site daily. Many of these married women hardly post, but marriage posts are always on the Front Page.

We already know the script. Even before you open the thread, you already know the kind of "expert" advice they’ll give. Some of them are just waiting for a thread to land on FP so they can start screaming "Divorce!" without even reading the full story.

If her mind is already configured that way, she’ll start thinking that "protecting her peace" means ending her marriage over every small thing.

Both genders are massive Red Flags. >
The only difference is that some men actually have sense, yet they will still choose to follow the nice guy route especially when they think they can get a "free pass." You’ll see many guys on this forum who prefer to support a lady’s nonsense just to look like a "Gentleman".

It’s funny because today you’ll see them screaming "Single Moms are a No-Go Area!" but tomorrow, the same guy will come and tell you he’s marrying one because "his own case is different." That’s how some men operate—they talk one thing and do another when skirt is involved.

But for the ladies? Their wiring is on a different level of "Follow-Follow." That is why they take people like Blessing CEO and that other Ponmo-mouth lady more seriously than the way young guys take Geh geh.

You are right; extreme advice, like shouting "Divorce" over minor issues, can attract several attention. But the problem isn't social media itself; it is how individuals choose to interpret it. No thread, influencer, or front page post can replace personal responsibility and critical thinking.

The idea that women "follow-follow" blindly while men are inherently rational doesn't hold. Both genders can be influenced, overreact, or ignore sound advice. The difference lies in context, experience, and personality; not wiring. People tend to absorb more of what resonates with their existing perspectives.

Social media offers countless ideas, and everyone can be selective. Negative advice doesn't magically jump into someone's mind; we choose what to take in.

Social media is far more than a platform for distraction and negativity. When used thoughtfully, it can guide and inspire. It is a source of influence and empowerment, giving women a voice and helping them grow. It also spotlights important social issues and connects people to knowledge and support. The key is to use it wisely, mindfully, and positively.

The presence of men and women offering advice or support should be seen as a positive. Often, it is simply kindness or empathy, especially for someone in a moment of weakness. For example, a woman in a toxic or abusive relationship may know her partner is wrong but lack the courage to act. A few strong, thoughtful suggestions can help her gain confidence and make a sensible choice.

People can often distinguish helpful advice from unwise suggestions. A man or woman who lets social media dictate their decisions; especially to the point of divorcing over petty matters wasn't truly knowledgeable to begin with. Divorce may seem simple or appealing, but it is serious, often lengthy, and stressful. Beyond personal strain, it can have ripple effects on family, community, religion, and legal matters.

Marriage can be challenging, but not every difficulty calls for divorce. Divorce is more appropriate in serious situations, such as abuse or infidelity. Other issues might simply require talking things through, taking time apart or seeking help from someone both partners trust and respect; like an unbiased pastor or a responsible elder. Although small issues don't usually justify ending a marriage, your emotional well-being still matters. You might need to a step back emotionally to find peace.

The best approach in marriage is to pick a partner whose flaws don't conflict with your priorities. Observing patiently and carefully, and making deliberate choices before marriage, is far better than facing regret later or ending in divorce. It is always better to take the time to choose wisely.

1 Like 1 Share

Romance › Re: Before You Married Her She Was Active On Social Media Like Nairaland, Twitter Et by Merry100: 12:43am On Mar 26

SpencerForbes:
Taking a wife from Nairaland is like buying a 'Follow-Come' I-pass-my-neighbor problem.

1. The Feminist Headquarters:
Half of them are 'Woke' feminists, and the other half are currently in training. If she knows you’re an active member, forget it. Any move you make, she’ll say, 'Is it that Red Pill thread you’re reading?' You can’t even exercise your 'Head of the House' rights without her accusing you of following 'Nairaland Mentors.'

2. You Are Official Content:
Omo, you are just one argument away from being 'Topic of the Day.' Small misunderstanding like this, you’ll just see a thread: 'My husband used his left hand to eat, should I leave him?' Next thing, you’re on the Front Page, and the 'Online In-laws' are already dissecting your life.

3. The 'Judas' Advice:
I trust my Nairaland people—they don't know what 'Peace' means. Their solution to everything is: 'Dump him!', 'He is a narcissist!', 'Bury the marriage!'. Even if you just forgot to buy bread, they will tell her your destiny is not safe with you.

Living with a Nairaland regular is like living with a secret reporter. Fear Women, but fear the ones on this forum even more! Proceed with your chest in your hands!

This comment actually made me laugh because I have said quite a lot on Nairaland myself. If my boyfriend ever came across my posts, I'm pretty sure it would just turn into something we laugh about, maybe with a bit of teasing.

Honestly, social media isn't that deep; it is just a space for people to express themselves. Sometimes it is serious, sometimes it is just for fun, but either way, it doesn't capture the full reality of who someone is.

Judging a partner solely based on their online comments doesn't really make sense; unless they have said something genuinely harmful or unsafe. It is like judging actors purely by the roles they play, without separating the performance from the person.

What is even more interesting is how this suddenly becomes a concern specifically when it is a woman. Writing, sharing stories, and having opinions shouldn't be seen as a problem just because someone is in a relationship or married. People exist both online and offline, what you see is rarely the full picture; they only show you what they want you to know.

1 Like

Romance › Re: How To Have Important Conversations Before Marriage by Merry100: 3:25pm On Mar 24*

marlow1962:
In Nigeria marriage system, the only thing you can think about as a man is how to work and work till you die (except God helps you and you get married to a supportive woman).
Nigerian marriage (especially modern ones) where the lady sees it as doing you a favor.

May God help we men who really wants to have a loving family.

Society places pressure on both men and women. Both men and women should be supportive of one another in marriage. The right partner turns challenges into teamwork and makes all the effort worthwhile.

I empathize with many Nigerian women, and I deeply value and respect men who are loving, responsible, and work hard to care for their families; not those who make their wives' lives miserable or treat them with disrespect.

Romance › Re: How To Have Important Conversations Before Marriage by Merry100: 1:07pm On Mar 24*

Brilliant; you truly understand the concept of marriage. I wish I could give this a million likes.

This came at the perfect time for me. I am actually going to send it to my boyfriend because it expresses something I have been struggling to put into words.

I used to believe that once two people understand each other, everything else would naturally fall into place. But a recent conversation changed this mindset for me.

I'm a considerate person, so I was ready to leave certain decisions; like naming our children to my partner.

Recently, during a conversation, the topic of our children's names came up, and he suggested some native names. It made me realize that understanding each other isn't always enough; you still need to talk through the details and get to know each other's perspectives.

For instance, I'm not comfortable with my kids having native first names. I'm fine with native names as middle or additional names, but not as their first names. I have shared this with him, and we are still working through it.

This is why I don't agree with people who think the dating phase can be skipped. Important things need to be discussed, clarified, and agreed upon before marriage.

Romance › Re: Meet The First Woman Who Publicly Appreciate Her Husband For Carrying Her To USA by Merry100: 12:19pm On Mar 22*

PresidentMUGABE:
This lady Mrs Jane Ogbonna is presently trending for coming out publicly to thank and appreciate her husband for taking her to America.

God sent you to America to reset and liberate those feminist and confused gender right there.
It's a Devine mission.

Her type do not exist anymore

Social media and iPhone GenZ will prefer to sacrifice their spouse for America freedom....

Watch her videos on Facebook

Make it make sense. How is a woman appreciating her husband shading feminism?

Feminism is about the liberation and fair treatment of women. It didn't just come out of nowhere; it became necessary because of how women have been treated for years. If women were consistently loved, respected, and treated right, there wouldn't have been such a strong need for it.

There are several real-life situations where women are treated unfairly. I remember a case where a man beat his wife just three days after she gave birth because he wanted pounded yam and she made eba instead. She explained she wasn't feeling well and didn't have the strength, but he insisted. When people came to settle the issue, they told the woman to beg him and still go and prepare the pounded yam that "men don't joke with food." She knelt down, begged, and still went to cook. That is one of the kind of mindset feminism pushes back against; where women are expected to endure anything and still submit.

I once shared a story about a woman abroad who now treats her husband badly after becoming successful. People were quick to judge her, but many didn't know that this same man had maltreated her for years and even beat her multiple times when she was quiet and submissive. That doesn't justify her behaviour now, but it shows that these situations are not always as simple as people make them seem.

Yes, some women treat their husbands badly, and that should be condemned. But men also mistreat women; sometimes very violently; and that should be condemned just as strongly.

I appreciate my boyfriend when he does things I'm grateful for. There is nothing wrong with a woman appreciating her husband if he is a good man. But the appreciation should be based on how a woman is treated, or on a real favour, not just on a man's title as "husband." The mindset that women should automatically feel grateful just for being married, as if marriage is a favour to them, must end.

Are all women actually happy in their marriages? Why the pressure on women to constantly appreciate men, even when those men are not deserving?

If we keep normalizing this mindset, we will keep enabling irresponsible and entitled behaviour.

Romance › Re: A Common Mistake Many Ladies Make In Their Relationship by Merry100: 11:30am On Mar 19*

pussyphilia:
In every relationship between two humans, there must be one who drives the relationship more. There must be a leader. Marriage is not like a business contract where you can talk about equal partnership based on amount of shares held by each partner. Marriage doesn't work that way, there must be a leader who takes bulk of the family's decisions. If you are honest enough you'll acknowledge the fact that marriage requires a leader.

Leadership in the sense of control is not acceptable in a healthy marriage. True leadership is situational and collaborative; it is about offering guidance in certain areas, not controlling the other partner or limiting the other person's rights.

Natural influence is not authority. Even when one partner takes the lead occasionally in certain matters, this does not give them absolute authority or ownership of the marriage. Both partners maintain the right to question, discuss, and challenge decisions that seem wrong or unfair.

Certain personal decisions, such as career paths, religious beliefs, or core values, are not matters of leadership. A partner may offer advice or share their perspective, but the ultimate decision belongs to the individual.

1 Like

Romance › Re: A Common Mistake Many Ladies Make In Their Relationship by Merry100: 1:25am On Mar 19

pussyphilia:
So would you like it if your husband opts to be the submissive partner while you dominate and control him. In marriage, one partner must take charge and it must not be the man. There are many successful female-led relationships (FLRs)

There will be no place for submission in my marriage. To submit is to surrender your own reasoning, even your common sense, and obey blindly; even when it doesn't make sense.

Power struggles are pointless. Recognize each other's strengths and let each partner perform in their best area. One may handle finances, the other planning or emotional matters. Pride and the desire to control are what hold families back. Instead of working together, they pull each other down; or destroy one another.

I trust my partner's judgment. In fact, he makes most of the decisions, but I question any choice that seems unsafe, selfish, or harmful.

No one has to be in charge. Decisions can be made together. I don't believe in female-led relationships or submission of any kind. I believe in partnership, respect, and standing your ground when necessary.

Submission chains; respect empowers. It gives you the freedom to say no and protect yourself.

Romance › Re: A Common Mistake Many Ladies Make In Their Relationship by Merry100: 9:09pm On Mar 18

ManknowThyself:
Any woman that doesn't value peace and respect is not good for marriage!!!!!!!

Life without peace is death loading no matter the money and investment you have made.
Peace and happiness is the foundation of a true marriage and family.

Men should never be in haste to marry cos when they do the end is inevitable.

May God give you peace in your home.

Neither should a woman be in haste to marry, because there are a lot of useless, worthless men out there. They have absolutely nothing to add to society; all they do is try to shrink their partners to feel big.

Romance › Re: A Common Mistake Many Ladies Make In Their Relationship by Merry100: 8:58pm On Mar 18

sorosoke101:
Sex is also submission, but women will have to be extra submissive (i.e non sexual submission) by respecting their husbands and listening to him. Some women are so beautiful and sexually active but they disrespect their husbands, on the long run they loose their marriage and blame it on the devil. I just threw my wives things outta the house yesterday night before I stumbled on this post this morning. My wife is so disrespectful if I say a word she will reply with 50 extra words. So I got tired and threw her out.

See how this one is feeling like he is Elon Musk😂. My dear, no sensible woman would agree to be submissive. If you wish to order people around, build a company and employ workers.

Romance › Re: A Common Mistake Many Ladies Make In Their Relationship by Merry100: 8:52pm On Mar 18

Mcslize:
A disrespectful woman is an ugly woman - Mcslize 2026.

A controlling man is a useless, worthless, and ugly beast - Wise Woman 2026

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