₦airaland Forum

Henjor48:
because na broke guy.
If he's wealthy, she dare say NO, trust me and guy won't even bother kneeling down for a none-nvirgin.

You even added "trust me" to your nonsense. Do you know her personally, or are you just one of those who think all women would say yes to a man simply because he is wealthy? Even if the females in your family are naive and think this way, you don't have to project it onto all women.

The lady might not even be at fault. Some men move things ahead of time.

My boyfriend is financially stable, but if he proposed to me publicly right now, I might say yes just to save him from embarrassment, but it might not be genuine, because we are still in the getting to know each other stage.

To be very honest, he is very generous. Some of his gestures are even quite shocking. I often decline the ones I find too extreme, so I don't find myself making decisions out of impulse or guilt.

Oh God, this is beyond disturbing 😭 The pain, the fear, the helplessness… no woman deserves this. Women risk their lives to bring life into this world, and this is how they are treated? And people still dare to question a woman's worth? It is beyond heartbreaking. 💔

Lovelink1991:
A single lady who once boasted that women can live well without men has turn back to tender an apologies after living without a man for many years, asking for forgiveness over her comments against men


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vex0uJcPla8?si=pfF7ePG4efThdoJE

Funny how some women think their feelings translate to all of us. So now, just because she is out seeking forgiveness, men are a basic need for every woman 🤣🤣🤣

franchasofficia:
Eh yaah, only a fool says there is no God!


Just as only ignorant ladies believe they can live without a man till old age.


Thank you all for your attention to this matter

Basic needs: food, water, clothing, shelter. A man isn't on the list. It is better to be without a man than to be with a worthless one who brings unhappiness, disrespect, or misery 😏.

SpencerForbes:
I totally get your point. But I’m not even judging them based on their comments alone; it’s about the kind of "diet" they consume on this site daily. Many of these married women hardly post, but marriage posts are always on the Front Page.

We already know the script. Even before you open the thread, you already know the kind of "expert" advice they’ll give. Some of them are just waiting for a thread to land on FP so they can start screaming "Divorce!" without even reading the full story.

If her mind is already configured that way, she’ll start thinking that "protecting her peace" means ending her marriage over every small thing.

Both genders are massive Red Flags. >
The only difference is that some men actually have sense, yet they will still choose to follow the nice guy route especially when they think they can get a "free pass." You’ll see many guys on this forum who prefer to support a lady’s nonsense just to look like a "Gentleman".

It’s funny because today you’ll see them screaming "Single Moms are a No-Go Area!" but tomorrow, the same guy will come and tell you he’s marrying one because "his own case is different." That’s how some men operate—they talk one thing and do another when skirt is involved.

But for the ladies? Their wiring is on a different level of "Follow-Follow." That is why they take people like Blessing CEO and that other Ponmo-mouth lady more seriously than the way young guys take Geh geh.

You are right; extreme advice, like shouting "Divorce" over minor issues, can attract several attention. But the problem isn't social media itself; it is how individuals choose to interpret it. No thread, influencer, or front page post can replace personal responsibility and critical thinking.

The idea that women "follow-follow" blindly while men are inherently rational doesn't hold. Both genders can be influenced, overreact, or ignore sound advice. The difference lies in context, experience, and personality; not wiring. People tend to absorb more of what resonates with their existing perspectives.

Social media offers countless ideas, and everyone can be selective. Negative advice doesn't magically jump into someone's mind; we choose what to take in.

Social media is far more than a platform for distraction and negativity. When used thoughtfully, it can guide and inspire. It is a source of influence and empowerment, giving women a voice and helping them grow. It also spotlights important social issues and connects people to knowledge and support. The key is to use it wisely, mindfully, and positively.

The presence of men and women offering advice or support should be seen as a positive. Often, it is simply kindness or empathy, especially for someone in a moment of weakness. For example, a woman in a toxic or abusive relationship may know her partner is wrong but lack the courage to act. A few strong, thoughtful suggestions can help her gain confidence and make a sensible choice.

People can often distinguish helpful advice from unwise suggestions. A man or woman who lets social media dictate their decisions; especially to the point of divorcing over petty matters wasn't truly knowledgeable to begin with. Divorce may seem simple or appealing, but it is serious, often lengthy, and stressful. Beyond personal strain, it can have ripple effects on family, community, religion, and legal matters.

Marriage can be challenging, but not every difficulty calls for divorce. Divorce is more appropriate in serious situations, such as abuse or infidelity. Other issues might simply require talking things through, taking time apart or seeking help from someone both partners trust and respect; like an unbiased pastor or a responsible elder. Although small issues don't usually justify ending a marriage, your emotional well-being still matters. You might need to a step back emotionally to find peace.

The best approach in marriage is to pick a partner whose flaws don't conflict with your priorities. Observing patiently and carefully, and making deliberate choices before marriage, is far better than facing regret later or ending in divorce. It is always better to take the time to choose wisely.

SpencerForbes:
Taking a wife from Nairaland is like buying a 'Follow-Come' I-pass-my-neighbor problem.

1. The Feminist Headquarters:
Half of them are 'Woke' feminists, and the other half are currently in training. If she knows you’re an active member, forget it. Any move you make, she’ll say, 'Is it that Red Pill thread you’re reading?' You can’t even exercise your 'Head of the House' rights without her accusing you of following 'Nairaland Mentors.'

2. You Are Official Content:
Omo, you are just one argument away from being 'Topic of the Day.' Small misunderstanding like this, you’ll just see a thread: 'My husband used his left hand to eat, should I leave him?' Next thing, you’re on the Front Page, and the 'Online In-laws' are already dissecting your life.

3. The 'Judas' Advice:
I trust my Nairaland people—they don't know what 'Peace' means. Their solution to everything is: 'Dump him!', 'He is a narcissist!', 'Bury the marriage!'. Even if you just forgot to buy bread, they will tell her your destiny is not safe with you.

Living with a Nairaland regular is like living with a secret reporter. Fear Women, but fear the ones on this forum even more! Proceed with your chest in your hands!

This comment actually made me laugh because I have said quite a lot on Nairaland myself. If my boyfriend ever came across my posts, I'm pretty sure it would just turn into something we laugh about, maybe with a bit of teasing.

Honestly, social media isn't that deep; it is just a space for people to express themselves. Sometimes it is serious, sometimes it is just for fun, but either way, it doesn't capture the full reality of who someone is.

Judging a partner solely based on their online comments doesn't really make sense; unless they have said something genuinely harmful or unsafe. It is like judging actors purely by the roles they play, without separating the performance from the person.

What is even more interesting is how this suddenly becomes a concern specifically when it is a woman. Writing, sharing stories, and having opinions shouldn't be seen as a problem just because someone is in a relationship or married. People exist both online and offline, what you see is rarely the full picture; they only show you what they want you to know.

marlow1962:
In Nigeria marriage system, the only thing you can think about as a man is how to work and work till you die (except God helps you and you get married to a supportive woman).
Nigerian marriage (especially modern ones) where the lady sees it as doing you a favor.

May God help we men who really wants to have a loving family.

Society places pressure on both men and women. Both men and women should be supportive of one another in marriage. The right partner turns challenges into teamwork and makes all the effort worthwhile.

I empathize with many Nigerian women, and I deeply value and respect men who are loving, responsible, and work hard to care for their families; not those who make their wives' lives miserable or treat them with disrespect.

Brilliant; you truly understand the concept of marriage. I wish I could give this a million likes.

This came at the perfect time for me. I am actually going to send it to my boyfriend because it expresses something I have been struggling to put into words.

I used to believe that once two people understand each other, everything else would naturally fall into place. But a recent conversation changed this mindset for me.

I'm a considerate person, so I was ready to leave certain decisions; like naming our children to my partner.

Recently, during a conversation, the topic of our children's names came up, and he suggested some native names. It made me realize that understanding each other isn't always enough; you still need to talk through the details and get to know each other's perspectives.

For instance, I'm not comfortable with my kids having native first names. I'm fine with native names as middle or additional names, but not as their first names. I have shared this with him, and we are still working through it.

This is why I don't agree with people who think the dating phase can be skipped. Important things need to be discussed, clarified, and agreed upon before marriage.

PresidentMUGABE:
This lady Mrs Jane Ogbonna is presently trending for coming out publicly to thank and appreciate her husband for taking her to America.

God sent you to America to reset and liberate those feminist and confused gender right there.
It's a Devine mission.

Her type do not exist anymore

Social media and iPhone GenZ will prefer to sacrifice their spouse for America freedom....


Watch her videos on Facebook

Make it make sense. How is a woman appreciating her husband shading feminism?

Feminism is about the liberation and fair treatment of women. It didn't just come out of nowhere; it became necessary because of how women have been treated for years. If women were consistently loved, respected, and treated right, there wouldn't have been such a strong need for it.

There are several real-life situations where women are treated unfairly. I remember a case where a man beat his wife just three days after she gave birth because he wanted pounded yam and she made eba instead. She explained she wasn't feeling well and didn't have the strength, but he insisted. When people came to settle the issue, they told the woman to beg him and still go and prepare the pounded yam that "men don't joke with food." She knelt down, begged, and still went to cook. That is one of the kind of mindset feminism pushes back against; where women are expected to endure anything and still submit.

I once shared a story about a woman abroad who now treats her husband badly after becoming successful. People were quick to judge her, but many didn't know that this same man had maltreated her for years and even beat her multiple times when she was quiet and submissive. That doesn't justify her behaviour now, but it shows that these situations are not always as simple as people make them seem.

Yes, some women treat their husbands badly, and that should be condemned. But men also mistreat women; sometimes very violently; and that should be condemned just as strongly.

I appreciate my boyfriend when he does things I'm grateful for. There is nothing wrong with a woman appreciating her husband if he is a good man. But the appreciation should be based on how a woman is treated, or on a real favour, not just on a man's title as "husband." The mindset that women should automatically feel grateful just for being married, as if marriage is a favour to them, must end.

Are all women actually happy in their marriages? Why the pressure on women to constantly appreciate men, even when those men are not deserving?

If we keep normalizing this mindset, we will keep enabling irresponsible and entitled behaviour.

pussyphilia:
In every relationship between two humans, there must be one who drives the relationship more. There must be a leader. Marriage is not like a business contract where you can talk about equal partnership based on amount of shares held by each partner. Marriage doesn't work that way, there must be a leader who takes bulk of the family's decisions. If you are honest enough you'll acknowledge the fact that marriage requires a leader.

Leadership in the sense of control is not acceptable in a healthy marriage. True leadership is situational and collaborative; it is about offering guidance in certain areas, not controlling the other partner or limiting the other person's rights.

Natural influence is not authority. Even when one partner takes the lead occasionally in certain matters, this does not give them absolute authority or ownership of the marriage. Both partners maintain the right to question, discuss, and challenge decisions that seem wrong or unfair.

Certain personal decisions, such as career paths, religious beliefs, or core values, are not matters of leadership. A partner may offer advice or share their perspective, but the ultimate decision belongs to the individual.

pussyphilia:
So would you like it if your husband opts to be the submissive partner while you dominate and control him. In marriage, one partner must take charge and it must not be the man. There are many successful female-led relationships (FLRs)

There will be no place for submission in my marriage. To submit is to surrender your own reasoning, even your common sense, and obey blindly; even when it doesn't make sense.

Power struggles are pointless. Recognize each other's strengths and let each partner perform in their best area. One may handle finances, the other planning or emotional matters. Pride and the desire to control are what hold families back. Instead of working together, they pull each other down; or destroy one another.

I trust my partner's judgment. In fact, he makes most of the decisions, but I question any choice that seems unsafe, selfish, or harmful.

No one has to be in charge. Decisions can be made together. I don't believe in female-led relationships or submission of any kind. I believe in partnership, respect, and standing your ground when necessary.

Submission chains; respect empowers. It gives you the freedom to say no and protect yourself.

ManknowThyself:
Any woman that doesn't value peace and respect is not good for marriage!!!!!!!

Life without peace is death loading no matter the money and investment you have made.
Peace and happiness is the foundation of a true marriage and family.

Men should never be in haste to marry cos when they do the end is inevitable.

May God give you peace in your home.

Neither should a woman be in haste to marry, because there are a lot of useless, worthless men out there. They have absolutely nothing to add to society; all they do is try to shrink their partners to feel big.

sorosoke101:
Sex is also submission, but women will have to be extra submissive (i.e non sexual submission) by respecting their husbands and listening to him. Some women are so beautiful and sexually active but they disrespect their husbands, on the long run they loose their marriage and blame it on the devil. I just threw my wives things outta the house yesterday night before I stumbled on this post this morning. My wife is so disrespectful if I say a word she will reply with 50 extra words. So I got tired and threw her out.

See how this one is feeling like he is Elon Musk😂. My dear, no sensible woman would agree to be submissive. If you wish to order people around, build a company and employ workers.

Mcslize:
A disrespectful woman is an ugly woman - Mcslize 2026.

A controlling man is a useless, worthless, and ugly beast - Wise Woman 2026

Is marriage a favour to a woman? Why should a woman ignore herself and live according to the bidding of a man who is also a human being like her? Women are not dogs to be chained and controlled.

If you are a woman still falling for useless write-ups like this, you need a serious mental check-up.

Many marriages in Nigeria are built on a master-slave structure. So why are so many women suffering and unhappy? Why do we hear so many bitter stories in the media about gullible, submissive women who went through hell? Why did Osinachi die, even though she was humble?

The societal structure of marriage in Nigeria often brings suffering to women, but women can choose to enjoy their lives by loving themselves and prioritizing themselves first.

The major issue in many marriages is choosing the wrong partner. If a woman marries a man who truly loves her, she will naturally enjoy the marriage without stress. There are men who cannot stand seeing their woman in pain or suffering.

It is exhausting that in 2026, we are still hearing, "my husband destroyed my life." You could be a destiny carrier or holder of immense potential; don't let anyone destroy you. Stay away from men who want to ruin your mission and purpose. Be intentional about choosing the right partner. Your life isn't just about being a wife; you can be a wife, a mother, a professional, and a trailblazer.

Though by nature, I am not loud or troublesome, I am calm and soft-spoken; but my actions speak very loudly. When I know what is right for me, I act; even if it upsets others. I may apologize to calm the waters, but I never compromise my values or allow anyone to control my life.

If it is petty decisions like "don't go there" or "do this or that," I can let it go. But when someone starts meddling in my career or priorities, that is when they see the real me.

You see those women who shout, argue, and get emotional? They are nice. Me? I don't have the energy for physical arguments. When I know something is wrong for me and could have a negative impact, and my partner insists on his way, I quietly do what I know is right. If he finds out and makes a big deal, I might apologize to calm things down. If it happens again, I repeat the action and continue doing my thing until he learns.

Don't bend or shrink your core values. If a man wants to leave because you refuse to let him destroy your life, open the door wide and let him go. You are not a sacrificial lamb; you don't have to die, suffer, or end up bitter like so many women today.

Marriage is not a place where a woman loses herself to prove loyalty. It is meant to be a safe space, not a battlefield. It is where two people come together to support each other's dreams, purpose, and happiness; not where one person disappears.

Ladies, you are allowed to exist fully, to grow, and to choose yourself without guilt. Don't let your marriage reduce, silence, or erase you.

#YouMatterJustAsMuchAsHeDoes

I'm feeling so down and worried. My dog has mange. It was treated before and I thought it had cleared up. I was away for a while and when I came back I noticed he still has it.

Yesterday he started looking weak, and today he seems very tired. I've already called the vet and he said he would come tomorrow.

Has anyone dealt with mange that didn't clear up after treatment? What treatments or steps helped your dog recover?

advanceDNA:
But… why do yall get angry because u paid for your own meal?? Im just honestly curious . do yall just naturally feel u are entitled to a free meal because a guy wants to get get to know you??

Dont get me wrong… its fine if the guy wants to take the tab, but if he doesnt want to, why is it a big deal for you women to pay for your own meal.. ??

It is not about entitlement; it is about fairness and courtesy. If someone asks me on a date, it is common courtesy for them to offer to pay the bill. I do the same: when I invite friends; male or female to meals, I usually cover the cost because I am the one who extended the invitation.

Why would paying for my own meal even be a big deal? It is not like I don't visit eateries and restaurants on my own.

My dear, I treat myself very well and eat well.

Hanging out is about company and connection, not free meals. I don't accept every invitation, especially if it would be pointless.

I don't take advantage. I stick to what I usually order. Often, it is the other person who suggests upscale options or encourages extras.

If spending is a concern, the person extending the invitation should discuss it beforehand or choose a simple spot.

If someone is still a stranger to me and I don't see things going further, I keep it modest; usually no more than 20k.

Ruth15:
Good day everyone.

So there's this issue that has been bothering me since yesterday and it has left me in a state of bafflement.

I met a guy on Thursday and I gave him my number. On Friday,he asked me if we could hang out and of which I obliged to. Mind you, before I agreed to go out with him,I told him I'd be coming with two of my other female friends and of which he said no problem. He even jokingly asked me if my friends were single and I told him yes. He then jestfully promised to hook them up with two of his other male friends and we both laughed over it .

So ,on Saturday which happened to be yesterday,we finally got to our agreed destination. I ordered for three bottles of coca cola and three fish pies,while my friends and I were awaiting them. Eventually they showed up and we were vibing. When it was time to pay for what I initially ordered for,I was expecting this dude to be a gentleman and go and pay for all the stuffs we bought on his behalf. But unfortunately,he wasn't making any move. So I stood up and wanted to pay. Unfortunately my bank was having network problem. But guys,guess what happened next. This dude and his friends stood up and left us stranded. Like they actually left, without thinking about what we'd be subjected to. Had it been I didn't have the money or went unprepared,that would have been an entirety different case but for goodness sake,it was just an ordinary bank network problems. And it was just ordinary 5k,and not something too big for a girl like me to pay without a blink of an eye. Omo,everything became blurry and I was wondering about what guys are turning into nowadays. Could this be a sign of being an alpha male or should I call it stoopidity? Because I was really embarrassed and I don't think I'd ever blame ladies who tend to be brutal to men from henceforth because I don't just understand what young men of these days are turning into.

Please guys,did I do wrong at all?

Obembet Dominique mynd44 Seun nlfpmod.

Sorry about your experience; that must have been really embarrassing.

That said, courtesy usually demands waiting for the other party before ordering food, especially when you are still basically strangers. You could order drinks while you wait; it is only when the waiting stretches too long that ordering food or snacks is okay.

Personally, if a guy buys food before I arrive, I would take that as a red flag.

ebubeson:
If a lady above thirty has in mind a dream wedding that is expensive and only a very rich guy to marry, then she may not be serious.
A lady above thirty, especially not in very early thirties should work out these.

(1) Inform parents before hand that your bride price should not be expensive but affordable to anyone that wants to marry you.

(2) Make up your mind for a cheap wedding if advanced wedding doesnt come forth.

(3) Marry a comfortable person if no very rich guy is coming.
If sugar daddies have made you to look at guys who earns 500k as broke, then you may be delayed finding a partner.

(4) Hasten the wedding process if you are sure you are with your God-given partner.

So let me get this straight: after thirty, a woman's standards are irrelevant, her desires a luxury, and she must just rush to marry the man who shows up. Society, aren't you tired of these outdated philosophies? What is this, the 80s, when women were expected to settle without questioning?

What is so special about being a married woman? What is so special about being called a wife? What value does living with a man bring? If you are happy and fulfilled while single, and marriage threatens that stability, why choose it? If marriage offers no real benefit, why enter it at all?

Many marriages today are more like two people living together like roommates, sharing space and access to each other's personal lives and belongings. In some cases, one even bullies or suppresses the other. Marriage should give as much as it takes. If it only takes, only demands, only drains; then it is not marriage. It is a society-approved roommate arrangement pretending to be sacred.

Basic human needs for survival do not include the need for a partner. Our essential needs are food, water, clothing, shelter, safety, and the freedom to live authentically. Beyond survival, humans thrive on autonomy, self-respect, purpose, and meaningful connection; none of which require a spouse. We are not each other's oxygen. Men and women can survive, thrive, and find fulfillment independently. Aside from the natural process of procreation, we may not even need each other.

Marriage should not be about simply having someone or sharing space. It should enhance your life, complement your growth, and bring meaning. A true marriage is an exchange; give and take, strengthen and support. Anything less is a compromise of your life, energy, and identity.

This is not hatred toward men. This is about clarity, self-love, and recognizing that society is often wrong.

I have seen many responsible men; in fact, my bf is one. When we first met, I remember telling him I didn't want to ever get married. He said that with time, I would realize the benefits of marriage and be open to it. Now, I can comfortably refer to him as my husband to be because he embodies the qualities I admire, understands me deeply, and has the potential to be both a good husband and a devoted father.

Ask yourself: what is the benefit of my union with this person? Does he strengthen my life, bring peace, inspire my growth, or support my purpose? Or is he simply a label, a title, a societal expectation? If you cannot answer these questions; if you cannot see why he is necessary in your life; then don't marry him. The last thing you need is an empty presence; he would just become a burden that is hard to let go of.

Many marry for approval, not for alignment with their soul; and that is a trap. Marriage should be chosen consciously, not imposed by society, fear, or habit. It should be a space where life is shared, not surrendered. If it does not elevate you, challenge you, and complement your existence, it is not marriage; it is merely a society-approved lifelong contract to coexist.

Remember: survival, growth, and fulfillment do not depend on a spouse. Your happiness is yours to claim. Your life is yours to live fully. Marriage is an option, not a requirement. This is the liberating truth.

When women are empowered, families become stronger, communities flourish, and society benefits from the contributions of everyone.

May God bless every good and responsible father and husband in Nigeria (excluding irresponsible ones). Women need understanding, encouragement, and real opportunities to thrive; at home, in their careers, and in leadership.

Dpsychologist:
He who uses sugarcane as a walking stick will soon eat it. And you cannot keep a monkey and a banana in the same place.

Let’s stop pretending. A man and a woman cannot be besties for long without emotions getting involved — especially when they’re constantly together, talking daily, sharing secrets, and soothing each other’s emotional wounds. You can call it “pure friendship” all you want, but biology and human nature have never signed that agreement with you.

Every emotional bond carries a seed of attraction. And when that seed is watered with consistency, vulnerability, and comfort, it will germinate. That’s not temptation — that’s science and psychology teaming up against your denial.

When your girlfriend has a male bestie or your boyfriend has a female bestie, you’re not being insecure for feeling uneasy. You’re being observant. History has receipts, and patterns don’t lie.

It always starts innocently — a late-night chat, inside jokes, venting about the main partner, “we just vibe differently,” and before long, they’re emotionally entangled. Then one weak moment later, it becomes “it was the devil’s handwork.”
No, it wasn’t. It was poor boundaries wearing perfume and smiling.

Let’s be honest — emotional intimacy is more dangerous than physical touch. When someone knows your deepest fears, insecurities, and dreams, they gain access to your heart’s password. And the moment your partner finds that comfort in another person, emotional betrayal has already begun — long before any physical line is crossed.

So no, it’s not paranoia to draw boundaries. It’s wisdom.
Because prevention will always be cheaper than damage control.

If you don’t want chaos, don’t build the stage for it.
If you don’t want to “blame the devil,” stop giving him rehearsal space in your friendship.

Men and women can be friends — yes.
But best friends? Constantly close, emotionally bonded, and always available? That’s not friendship anymore — that’s a slow-motion love story waiting for the right mistake.

Boundaries are not mistrust. They’re respect for reality.
Because as long as blood flows through veins and attraction remains a human instinct, no one is immune to the fire that emotional closeness can ignite.

So before you say “it was the devil’s handwork,” remember — the devil doesn’t force hands. He just creates opportunities.

#BoundariesSaveRelationships
#PatternsDontLie
#PreventionOverExcuses

It is reasonable to limit chatting or outings with the opposite sex while in a relationship in order to avoid unnecessary jealousy and to respect your partner's feelings. But that is about consideration and boundaries; it does not mean that friendship between a man and a woman is destined to turn romantic or sexual.

The idea that emotional closeness between a man and a woman will automatically lead to sexual attraction is not biological and does not reflect everyone's reality. If that were the case, relationships between even opposite-sex siblings would frequently become romantic; which clearly is not the case.

Many friendships feel more like sibling relationships than romantic ones. If someone even begins to develop feelings, adults are capable of recognizing the change and creating distance or adjusting boundaries. Intimacy does not simply happen by accident; it involves conscious choices from the people involved.

Attraction is personal and experienced differently by each individual. Not everyone thinks about sex or interprets emotional closeness as sexual. Personally, sex is not something that naturally sits at the front of my mind when interacting with people. Even when my bf says romantic things like he can't wait to kiss me or talks about marriage and having kids, my first thoughts are often about how awkward physical closeness feels. There are many things I personally find awkward, I even find it uncomfortable to eat from the same plate or share utensils with someone, whether male or female.

Everyone experiences friendship and closeness differently; friendship doesn't automatically lead to romance.

Chicious:
You won't even recognize what a "real man" is even if he was standing right besides you. What you just described is a form of a human being from your own imagination or fantasy.

Quoting scripture on this doesn't make your description or definition stronger; it only exposes your ignorance.

If your version of manhood requires women to shrink so you can feel bigger, then what you are describing isn't "manhood." It is hypocrisy and control; wrapped in religious language to make it sound sacred.

Fearing God is not a personality trait, it is just a belief system. It does not automatically produce integrity, kindness, or emotional maturity. A man's character is revealed in his daily behaviour and most of all in how he treats those around him, including his wife and children.

Let me be clear: women were not created to be supporting characters in a man's divine storyline. You are simply confusing culture with God's principles. A woman can have her own mission and calling in obedience to God. Deborah led both men and women under God's direction. Husbands are not spiritual gatekeepers to women's relationship with God. Women in scripture were prophets, leaders, business owners, and disciples. They had direct access to God.

Being "God-fearing" does not guarantee you are a good husband. There are unbelievers who love sacrificially, and there are believers who weaponize religion to dominate and silence.

In simple words: a real man doesn't need to suppress or control others to feel secure. He earns respect and authority through integrity, responsibility, accountability, and how he shows up in his family, his career, and his community; not through entitlement, demands for control, or hiding behind religion.

Chicious:
All these real men this, real men that no longer works anymore, this is unsubmissive modern women ways of CONTROLLING men.
Men knows what to do when they see a woman who truly loves, reverence and submits to them, you as a women do not tell a man what he ought to do, afterall he is a leader in the relationship and ought to know the direction to stir it in according to his vision, the woman is there to help him in it and do all she can to bring it to fruition.

Relax. I wasn't addressing your category. I was simply describing real men who naturally earn respect. You insecure ones who think having chromosomes entitles you to respect were simply just mentioned for contrast.

Chicious:
Typical of a modern woman. Always more interested in the wedding day itself than the marriage and how to properly build a home.

Interesting logic; so enjoying a beautiful wedding day even when I have the ability to do so, automatically cancels out my ability to have a happy and healthy marriage? Some people really think over-management or choosing to suffer are virtues. You better limit this useless logic to your partner.

Both of them are wrong. And they are not even meant for each other, they aren't compatible, and their goals and values doesn't even align.

Communication is not yelling, insulting, or turning every disagreement into a shouting match. That is toxic and immature. But communication is also not making major decisions in your partner's absence and then presenting them as a final verdict. That is equally immature.

Even if you believe in leading your home, this is not how leadership works. You might make most of the decisions, but important matters; especially those that directly affect your partner's life; must be properly discussed, not downplayed. Taking initiative or leading financially is fine, but the moment you make major decisions that deeply involve her without consultation, it stops being leadership and starts being control.

Marriage requires emotional regulation, accountability, and teamwork. Right now, they are both failing at that.

Introduction is not a solo mission. It is not something you adjust like you are editing your personal budget. It is a cultural ceremony that involves her, her family, and her dignity. Slashing the budget from 170k to 76k without prior discussion is not a "minor adjustment." That is more than a 50% cut. Anyone would feel blindsided and disregarded.

Feeling disappointed is not the same as being unreasonable. Accountability matters. If you make a decision that affects both of you without discussion, you don't get to act shocked when your partner reacts. That pattern is a serious red flag. Today it is introduction money. Tomorrow it could be career decisions.

At the same time, constantly reacting with yelling instead of calm conversation is also a major red flag.

The truth is simple: they are not even mature enough for marriage right now. And their values, financial expectations, and communication styles are clearly misaligned. If they rush into marriage, it won't magically improve; it will escalate. He needs to stop making unilateral decisions and then playing victim.

She needs to stop responding with aggression.

If you see repeated red flags before marriage and still jump in hoping love will fix everything, that is simply gambling.

.

Dtruthspeaker:
She is angry that her plans are still scattering even after they had almost worked

My 'angry' era tastes just amazing.

Today's Bunch for me and my pet dogs: Extra-large pizza, Item 7 Go shawarma, Cold Stone ice-cream, A bucket of chicken, Burger, Sandwiches, and Krispy Kreme donuts.

Wow, it tastes so lovely to be angry.

Dtruthspeaker:
All you women today are very veri batd things. And funny how you people like wearing red.

I like wearing blue, not red

I just noticed I wrote infertility rather than infidelity.

Saybal:
Men in all you do avoid this type of bitter woman and it will be well with you in your marriage or relationship

Assumption is the problem here. Some people just assume they are men and start deciding for all men. The funniest thing is that the real men don't even consider certain types of species as part of them. Being a man is not just about having XY chromosomes.

I am not marrying rubbish, so your prayer is not needed. Reserve your prayer for your daughter or your future daughter because if she ends up with your kind, she would need your prayer and fasting a lot.

Oops, with patience, I have been able to find a man I can consider my peace, and he also sees me as his peace 🤣. A few days ago, he was telling me, "You are just so soft-spoken and respectful. Ladies like you are scarce." This is one of the ways you know a man who also prioritizes your happiness, not just his. He totally avoided the word "submissive" without even knowing I hate the word. I even pulled his leg to make him use it, but he was like, "Babe, it is a chained dog that can be excited with control. As a human being, you have a mind of your own. Not everything I want will sit well with you. And if something doesn't sit well with you, the proper thing to do is to sit down and have a proper discussion together before concluding."

He even shared stories about controlling men, laughed about their ways, and referred to them as users. He concluded with, "Babe, you know what? I always want you to be happy. Please allow me to make you happy." Did you hear that? Allow me to make you happy; not "If you want me to be happy, do this and that." Their list no dey finish. Uselessd set of things.

Every career woman needs to avoid some kind of species. It is even better for them not to marry than to have a worthless thing in their life.

That is how a woman who happens to be a medical doctor was asked by her husband to resign after she got a promotion at work. They are just worthless species; they can render your many years of hard work useless.