₦airaland Forum

MrHighSea:
You won't even realize when you've started doing those things.

You know when a man says no woman can control him, fast forward, he is running down the street to go buy his daughter her first menstrual pad.

Life is not black and white.

Those standards will collapse when she jam a lovely heart with 9 inches and veins.

Single life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. A lady doesn't have to take on the responsibilities of a married woman while she is still single. There might be times when she genuinely feels like cooking or doing certain things for her partner, and that is perfectly fine. But she shouldn't take them on as though they are her responsibility.

Dating doesn't necessarily lead to marriage, so she doesn't have to pressure her into doing things that don't sit well with her. If she is not comfortable with something, she should simply not do it.

Ladies should learn to enjoy their relationships without losing themselves

GenFunction:
See Wetin Dey hungry tailor apprentice
Broke girls and standard ehn

What is wrong with being a tailor apprentice? Isn't tailoring a skill? Everybody starts somewhere, and learning a skill is actually something to be proud of.

And being a "broke girl" doesn't mean someone shouldn't have standards. Every human being has the right to set standards for themselves, regardless of their financial situation or occupation.

Your current situation does not determine the kind of person you are or what you should accept.

Samantha125:
No one should tolerate disrespect in this life regardless of gender... We all deserve to be treated with respect.

You are making a lot of sense, but they won't get your point because some men's sense of respect is simply testing how much disrespect their partner can take.

Women rarely disrespect men. In fact, there are many women who don't even raise their voices when speaking to their partners.

But it is not as simple as not raising your voice. It is more about not objecting to decisions a man makes even without considering you, or not accepting disrespect from him.

The op list is nothing compared to what some men want but no self-loving woman would subscribe herself to everything a man wants. There are podcast videos of men saying that even if they cheat on their wives, their wives have no right to question them. It is because of people like them that there are voiceless things like intimacy gadgets, but I wonder why many of them don't just subscribe to that 😂🤣

dmgr:
To be frank, those customer care representatives dey try.. imagine a lady weh just chop breakfast and decides to use the services of the said company without success.

Omo..the customer care rep go hear am that day, all the anger and aggression would be transferred to him/her with a touch of insults here and their.

More reason why you'll have be emotionally intelligent to succeed as a customer rep, if not, you won't last 24hrs on the job.

For the toasting aspect, that one na normal thing for any female facing role. Be it sales rep, bank tellers... etc. men go surely shoot their shot.

So how did you handle the guy "HR guy" I mean the one who was interviewing you? Hope you sha revolved his complaint after all the "do you know who I'm" 😂😂

😂🤣 You don already give am HR position. I am yet to know what his complaint was. He went from "Hi" to asking for my name and state. I just ignored the part where he asked again what state I was from and replied, "Sir, please, this is customer service... what exactly do you need help with?"

Ghtgh:
This your comment no just make sense😂. So women say they were used for their body nkor? It's even worse in western countries. Over 45% of marriageable women are predicted to be single and they are miserable about it. Men dae spend, if you are broke say so 😂. Your comment is so so ignorant

He woke up on the wrong side of the bed, picked one unrelated point and started arguing with himself.

And guys would still not agree that they are the confused gender. Okay, come and bail your gender by explaining to me exactly wetin e dey talk 😂🤣

Guys wey dey even toast customer care representative. 😂🤣 I handled customer care myself this week, and some of the things I experienced, I honestly wasn't prepared for. The moment some male customers realised say na woman dey behind the WhatsApp account, na im the whole conversation dey change direction.

I started receiving complaints about my customer service, so I decided to handle the communications myself, especially through WhatsApp.

My experience with some male customers was something else 😂🤣 Na me be customer service representative, but somehow the whole thing turn around. Instead of me asking questions, na customers dey interrogate me. 😂🤣

"What is your first name?" "How old are you?" "What state are you from?" "Send me your pictures." "If you know who I am you would be thanking your stars"

Like say na dating site or matchmaking platform I dey run. The thing shock me. 😂🤣

Imagine rude customers even claiming I am rude. I didn't know this is what customer care representatives go through.

One was like, "Do you know who you are talking to in this manner?" Just because I replied, "Hi, how may I help you?" after he messaged me with "Hi."

So I replied, "Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as rude. How may I be of assistance to you?"

He then replied, "My name is (proceeded to mention his first name) and I am from ___. What about you? What is your name and where are you from?"

I told him, "I am Miss ___, and I am based in Lagos State."

This man replied, "What state are you from?"

The thing weak. 😂🤣 In my head, I was like, "Wait a minute… what exactly is going on here?"

There were actually more serious-minded male and female customers than unserious ones. I am only brought up the naughty males for this gist 😂🤣 There were rude and naughty female customers as well. It seemed like some of them had just chopped heartbreak and needed somewhere to direct their aggression. 😂🤣

And some of the customers actually had justifiable reasons to be angry. Me too, I sometimes dey become a mad customer with customer care services when things don't go my way. 😂🤣

Me too hate disrespect. I love when men are respectful.

LordLicifer:
Okay, sure! I don't have the capacity to argue with you it wouldn't change YOUR OPINION or HOW YOU already feels the good thing is, i don't have to agree with your so called point.


Good luck!

😂🤣🤣 Na you create the obligation, na you still dey complain say e too heavy for your head. Na who send you work?

Best of luck to you 😂🤣

LordLicifer:
More longer story.. My head hurts trying to comprehend, You are correct, i could never comprehend a very long story like this yours.. Some people like me finds it really hard to comprehend.. Jeee!!




I am moving on

I understand. I wasn't expecting you to have the capacity to comprehend it. I wrote it to make my point, not to accommodate your limited comprehension. 😂🤣

LordLicifer:
Long story, absolute no sense made.

So why are there so many divorced couples in these countries you mentioned? Why are there single unmarried mothers? why Are there so many live in partners instead of married couples? Why are there many lesbian women in these countries you mentioned? There are more prostitute women in these countries you mentioned than in Naigeria. Yes, it may not be about money because people work and earn their own but believe it or not it is difficult to find love in these countries you mentioned than in Naigeeria regardless of what race or colour it is difficult to find love. Atleast in Naigerria men and women knows what they are looking for in each other which is usually sex and companionship.

And lastly, are you comparing Africa men with European and American men? What exactly is your point? If you are, then you are mistaken bigly! Most European and American are violent, drunk and drug taking women abusers...

Women in these countries use men also especially as the laws in those countries are on the side of women

Some people just enjoy throwing words around when they are unable to comprehend what they are reading. 😂🤣

You mentioned divorced couples, single mothers, cohabitation and women finding love difficult in developed countries, but none of those things actually addresses the point I was making. There are many genuine relationships there as well that have stood the test of time. I never said developed countries have perfect relationships or that everyone there finds love easily. What I meant is that many of their marriage decisions are based on some form of connection or the feeling of love at some point; it is not mainly from survival or societal pressure like it is in Nigeria.

Single mothers and divorced women are not shamed in many developed countries like they are in Nigeria, so people are not as scared of trying love because even if it fails, life can continue just fine. In Nigeria, there are hurtful repercussions for falling in love and leaving a relationship, especially for women.

Single mothers in Nigeria are often shamed and criticised. We often forget that the single mother was just like every other woman on the street. The only thing that changed is that she met a man who got her pregnant, but their relationship didn't work, so it ended.

Nigerian women are working these days and making their own money, so many women now feel marriage is a disadvantage. What exactly are you bringing to the relationship that would make her genuinely want you?

Many Nigerian marriages, in reality, lack companionship; that is why some women lean towards money to feel at peace with themselves. If you are not caring or romantic, at least be wealthy and be very open to spending. 😂🤣

Society is just forcing this whole marriage thing on individuals. The question should be: What are they building together? Where is it leading to? Are these relationships creating peace or helping to build selfish lifestyles?

In African, marriage can be a limitation to women. A white man would rarely tell his wife to stop working and focus on the family unless he has a better alternative or is ready to compensate her financially or provide quite sufficiently for his family. But in Nigeria, even an irresponsible man with no good source of income has the audacity to stop his wife from going to work.

The lifestyle of a donkey in olden times is far better than that of certain Nigerian women. Burdens upon burdens from them, yet Nigerian women have nothing to offer? Even going through pregnancy is already something because childbearing can be life-threatening; countless women have even lost their lives through it.

Nigerian marriages have been observed to create great limitations for certain women and obstruct their growth and peace. The money many men claim they provide for the family mostly goes towards the responsibilities they both created, which are the children. Many times, these women even squeeze themselves and manage the money provided.

Before you came into her life, she was just a single lady with dreams. She was quite satisfied before she met you because her responsibility was only to herself, which was easier. Meeting you changed her circumstances and created additional responsibilities that she now has.

So before assuming marriage is automatically an advantage to a particular woman, perhaps ask what she has actually gained from her marriage and be sure it is not only burdens she is getting. 😂🤣

richmanrichard:
developed countries you say? Madam travel n see & stop banking on assumptions. Women over there beg for real love and are more than willing to support it with their money. They are not like women over here that mostly leave the men to do all the hard-lifting in the LOVE business. You that is assuming, can you split the household bills the way it's done in the developed nations? Certainly not! Your money is your money and your husband/bf money is our money.

Wow, nice update: abroad, women buy their men! 😂🤣 They just select the one they want and pay for it. How I wish we could adopt such a culture in Nigeria. Nigerian men would fill the backyard of my house, especially men with big bumbum. 😂🤣

Since you guys have decided to declare yourselves the survival scheme of every Nigerian woman, then it makes no sense to be grunting when women quit relationships or retire from one. Or are people no longer free to quit or retire from a job? 😂🤣

Some of you would just be making an effort to make someone brag. And as a classy woman, bragging is not just my thing. 😂🤣

Okay, you go and observe the streets of London and Paris especially at night and come and tell us how things work in countries like that. There are a lot of one-strand there; not everything is about emotional attachment. The urge for sex is not necessarily the reason for marriage there. Nobody is telling anybody, "You would soon be fifty, you better get married." People can even wait until 120 years to find love and get married. 😂🤣

How I wish Nigeria was convenient to an extent like the USA, UK, Netherlands, Ireland and many other developed countries. Then you guys would have to confront your flaws instead of pushing the blame. While Nigerians are yelling, "No more love," many countries are still enjoying love. Women can experience attraction first before even knowing who he is or what he is worth because survival is not the biggest issue in their country. The economy situation of the country is simply what is enabling you guys to have excuses.

You guys would be shouting, "She played me. She used me. Look at how much I spent on her." How much have you actually spent on a lady? How many of you have used your money to actually turn a lady's life around? Or did you pick the lady from the zoo, forest or desert? 😂🤣 "I housed her. I fed her. I bought her cream." Useless things that people do even for strangers on the street.

If it is transactional love you want, why not just make your terms clear? There is no offence in it. People are doing it, and it is working even better than many normal marriages. All it needs is real money. There are many contract marriages or marriages of convenience out there, and they are working pretty well because the terms are clearly understood and each party plays their own part of the deal well.

The average Nigerian man's mentality is simply that money should create love for him, so he does the bare minimum when it comes to building a strong relationship.

If money is no longer the issue and the majority of people, both male and female, are living comfortably, what would you blame? Would you still stand a chance, or what would you be complaining about? Money is always your excuse for not finding love. Can you really stand among the many other guys and actually be loved if money is not even an issue? First, check yourself before you throw claims around. Do you deserve to be loved? Would you love yourself if you were the woman?

Money is one of the most inexpensive things. All some women ever want is safety and trust.

Love is easier to navigate in many developed countries because living is more comfortable in those countries, their men don't make excuses, they act. Nigerian men want to force "I am giving you some money, so you must love me," but things don't work that way.

Both men and women are conscious of being played. Just as your brain is telling you, "Is all she wants my money?" the woman is also asking herself, "Where do I stand with him? Does he see me as a commodity? Am I special to him, or am I just any girl he can purchase?"

ManknowThyself:
Merry,


Life is all about choice and happiness!!!!!!!

Never live your life in people's opinions, approval and validation.

You are the best of your kind, and no human can fulfill your purpose of destiny here on earth except you.

Happiness and bitterness all come from inside, generate your happiness from within not from approval and validation of the family, friends, church and society.

We are only the true architect of our own destiny with God grace and mercy.


In just few years from now, many both genders will regret why living theirs lives on the approval and validation of the society and people in general.



The bible said in the same book you mentioned, men love your wife and wife respect your husband.

The points you outlined above are only practice by narcissistic and toxic men that love bomb you to relax your gut as woman and start treating you bad, naive and insecure.

There are empathetic men with masculinity to adore, cherish, respect and loved you for who you are not what you are.

Your past experiences shouldn't dictate your future, never live your life with the past cos every day is a fresh beginning and start.

God allows us to learn from experience but not to make us bitter and vengeful.

Marriage is not for everyone cos we can adopt kids to fill that space when needed.
Know that your enemies opinion are insignificant to who are and never believe to be in competition with them.
Live your life with choice from your heart not the shame and laugh of those not up to your standard.

People only mock those better than them, you are even the one given them opportunity by thinking about their say in your life.

Never give up on marriage except it was your destiny from God not to.

I respect your choice anyway but allow others the space to and that's my messages for you merry.


You are always SPECIAL and the best of your kind.

This looks good on paper, but be careful that Christianity does not turn you into Superman.

There is only a little God can do when it comes to a person's character and choices. God gives people free will. He can establish principles, set boundaries, and attach consequences to our actions, but He does not force us to behave in a certain way. He does not force a husband to behave a certain way or a wife to behave a certain way.

Faith should not make you careless. Wisdom is also part of living. If something is unnecessary, I simply avoid it because I don't like unnecessary experiences, pity, or situations. If it can be avoided, it is best to avoid it.

ManknowThyself:
Merry,

What i have done to you? Am grateful to have you here on this forum as a beautiful and learned woman.

Your way of seeing life and choice to live it is special, unique for you and your purpose here in life to fulfill destiny.

I'm not here for competition with you between men a women. Anyway am here to learn and pass the little positive knowledge of clarity and conviction with my uniqueness of purpose for mine destiny forever.

Life is all about choice, your choice must not lead others here to learn the truth against their own purpose and destiny.

Let's always stand for truth, the standard of life before the logic of world try to emulate God and can never be possible.

When you see a man resonating in your frequency, you will love to be hug and 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋 on your forehead every morning and night and tell you how special you are.

There's a man for everyone, vice versa is the case. Never be bitter nor negative to men cos life is beautiful when truly genuinely loving and being loved. Happiness comes from inside, generate it with positivity towards men.

Women are made to be loved by men and men are made to be respected by women.

Just want to reply today might not have the energy next time.

Check my signature below.

Good morning and sweet dreams to you Merry.

I don't even want the version of "love" you describe. I prefer respect over love. Women need respect too.

Societal standards are already part of the problem. Respect should not be something a man demands from a woman while believing he is exempt from giving it to her.

Toxic men don't always look toxic on the outside. They can appear sweet, charming and loving. A man can be sweet to a woman and still disrespect her. But when a man genuinely respects a woman, he will find it much harder to deliberately humiliate, control or mistreat her.

I don't know if you have seen the posts about Divine Queen Yada being abused by her husband. From what has been shared publicly, he appeared very sweet and loving. When she said, "I am embarrassed, I am ashamed," I perfectly understand what she means.

I have too many enemies. I cannot give them a reason to laugh over me 😂🤣🤣. I can't imagine ending up with a wife-beater and then having to explain to the public that my husband has been hitting me. The shame alone would almost swallow me up. 🤣

Being with a man can even mean more stress and headaches because society has somehow convinced many men that a woman doesn't deserve the same respect a man expects.

Here are just a few behaviours that have been normalised but are actually disrespectful:

1. Demanding that you apologise when you have done nothing wrong simply because he believes he is automatically right.

2. Changing the subject whenever you raise a legitimate concern.

3. Calling you "dramatic" whenever you object to something he did.

4. Repeatedly crossing a boundary you have clearly communicated and responding with, "That's just how I am."

5. Expecting forgiveness without changing the behaviour.

6. Apologising only when he fears losing you rather than because he understands what he did wrong.

7. Treating your independence as disloyalty.

8. Controlling who you talk to, where you go or what you wear while using religion or culture to justify that control.

9. Pretending not to understand a boundary you have explained repeatedly.

10. Making jokes about your boundaries instead of respecting them.

11. Testing how much disrespect you will tolerate.

12. Expecting you to be available whenever he wants while remaining unavailable when you need him.

13. Using threats to win ordinary disagreements.

14. Using guilt, anger, threats or emotional pressure when you don't give him what he wants.

15. Expecting you to cancel important commitments simply because he wants your attention.

16. Interrupting your work, studies or responsibilities because he expects immediate attention.

17. Wanting you to neglect your professional or career commitments as "proof" of respect.

18. Trying to discourage you from becoming financially independent.

19. Insulting your friends simply because he doesn't like them.

20. Raising his voice at you in public.

21. Sharing private details about your relationship with friends or relatives without your consent.

22. Making comments deliberately designed to make you insecure so that you become more dependent on his approval.

23. Blaming you for his bad behaviour because you supposedly "made him angry."

24. Making you responsible for managing his anger.

25. Using money or gifts to compensate for repeatedly poor treatment instead of changing the behaviour.

So what is this called; love, respect, or disrespect? Which of these behaviours would a man appreciate from a woman?

And the interesting part is that many of these behaviours have been normalised by men. Some men have been socialised to see control, entitlement and dominance as ordinary parts of being a man, rather than recognising them for what they are.

If a woman did these things to a man, many men would immediately recognise them as disrespectful. So why should the standard suddenly change when the person receiving the behaviour is a woman?

Respect is reciprocal.

I know there are good men out there, and I understand your enthusiasm about marriage. But marriage is not for everyone.

I have already created my own peace. Why would I deliberately put it at risk simply because of societal expectation?

ManknowThyself:
Merry,

What i have done to you? Am grateful to have you here on this forum as a beautiful and learned woman.

Your way of seeing life and choice to live it is special, unique for you and your purpose here in life to fulfill destiny.

I'm not here for competition with you between men a women. Anyway am here to learn and pass the little positive knowledge of clarity and conviction with my uniqueness of purpose for mine destiny forever.

Life is all about choice, your choice must not lead others here to learn the truth against their own purpose and destiny.

Let's always stand for truth, the standard of life before the logic of world try to emulate God and can never be possible.

When you see a man resonating in your frequency, you will love to be hug and 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋 on your forehead every morning and night and tell you how special you are.

There's a man for everyone, vice versa is the case. Never be bitter nor negative to men cos life is beautiful when truly genuinely loving and being loved. Happiness comes from inside, generate it with positivity towards men.

Women are made to be loved by men and men are made to be respected by women.

Just want to reply today might not have the energy next time.

Check my signature below.

Good morning and sweet dreams to you Merry.

You haven't offended me, and I don't have a problem with you personally. I responded to the ideas you put out publicly, just as you are free to respond to mine.

But I find it interesting that after writing about how women are supposedly unhappy without men, your response to my argument is to tell me that one day I will meet a man who will hug me and kiss my forehead every morning and night. Why assume that is something I am missing or I need?

I never said love is bad. I never said marriage is bad. I never said women shouldn't marry. I said a woman can be happy and live a meaningful life without a husband. Those are very different statements.

And since you repeatedly referred to God and "the standard of life," let me ask you a simple question: where exactly does the Bible say that a woman must have a husband in order to be happy?

You said, "There is a man for everyone," and "women are made to be loved by men and men are made to be respected by women." Where exactly is that stated in Scripture? Because 1 Corinthians 7 actually acknowledges singleness as a legitimate state and discusses circumstances in which remaining unmarried can be advantageous.

If marriage is beautiful, then let people choose freely; not because they have been frightened with age or loneliness.

ManknowThyself:
Life is all about choice!!!!!!!!

Why telling my sister the truth? It sounds good seeing them deliberately depriving themselves from true happiness cos of hatred for men they can never do without forever.

No woman can ever be happy in single hood and loneliness. Deep at night when you and I are enjoying our respective sleeps they wet their pillows with tears.

All we need is to encourage them till they get to 50 and menopause.

Life is always beautiful with self experience.

Although this is a case of reverse psychology to get emails from men here.

Just because some guys cannot imagine happiness outside a romantic relationship, they assume women can't either.

I would rather roll around in my bed crying over a wrong pizza order than cry over a man like he is the last slice of pizza on Earth. I would even prefer to cry over suya than a man. 😂

Cry over a man as if I even want to share my bed? Tssssss! 😒 Me, that I like my bed neat? I don't even like people rumpling my bedspread.

I thought turning 50 and experiencing menopause were biological facts for both single and married women. I didn't know they were something to be scared of.

Anyway, let's put your assertion to the test.

Married or single, ladies, let us know with an Amen if this is truly something you are afraid of. 😂

"If you don't want to reach 50, simply say Amen. If you don't want to grow old enough to reach menopause, say Amen."

If no woman is saying Amen, then I don't see the threat. 😂

See why I am still single
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSVpAurgQ/

Cum4me:
All this information are invalid without money. Women fear and respect money

'Women love money, women love money'. Imagine if there was nothing to love about you people.

KingAzubuike:
The girl isn't wrong. She was just trying to be professional as per what she has learnt during her training I.e , it's okay to address people by their first names in a coporate environment. She definitely looks like someone who wouldn't call him Tony outside that settings.

Tony on the other hand doesn't even know what he wants. You're saying someone can call you TOE but not Tony. Which is now worse and what's the difference?

Tony just brought culture into a coporate settings which is very very wrong and sets a bad example.

Some of you simply don't understand professional etiquette. This isn't about cultural worship of elders. If it were, the expectation would be something completely different; bowing, kneeling, or other traditional forms of deference. Asking someone to address you as Mr. Elumelu, Chairman, or by another preferred professional title is simply a matter of how you wish to be addressed, and he is well within his rights to make that preference clear. Even in the small ventures I run, my employees don't call me by my first name.

First-name culture is perfectly acceptable when it has been established or invited. What is not necessarily professional is assuming familiarity before it has been established. Calling someone by their first name is not inherently disrespectful, but neither is it a universal entitlement. The most professional thing you can do is simply observe the context, respect the hierarchy, and let the other person determine how familiar the relationship should be.

Professionalism does not exclude common sense. You must recognise when you may be overstepping a boundary that has not been opened to you.

If I am meeting a senior or reputable professional for the first time, with no prior relationship and no invitation to use his first name, I would address him formally. If he says, "Call me Tony," then I will. It really is that simple.

Even customer-care interactions recognise this principle. MTN representatives, for example, often ask whether I prefer to be addressed as Miss or Mrs. Why? Because how a person wishes to be addressed is not irrelevant. It is part of courtesy and professionalism.

I don't even see this as a battle between "old Nigeria" and "modern Nigeria." It is simply about knowing how to read a professional environment. Confidence does not mean assuming familiarity with everyone. Confidence is knowing when to be formal, when to be informal, and when to allow the other person to determine the level of familiarity.

Codes151:
Can the woman not earn money too?

Of course she can, and many do.

Logically, she is right. Let's even say a guy earning ₦100,000 plans to manage ₦10,000-₦15,000 per date, perhaps by just ordering meat pies, a few other snacks and drinks. How many dates can he go on with a lady before a significant portion of his ₦100,000 is exhausted, even if they both agree to split the bill?

Unless the guy has actually discussed his financial situation with the lady and they both agree to meet somewhere that won't cost money or significantly cut down on outings: perhaps going out once every two months; he would only be draining himself, and that wouldn't be her fault.

A disagreement between spouses should be resolved through communication, boundaries, counselling, separation where necessary, or lawful intervention; not physical violence.

There was this baffling case of domestic violence I came across online:
A self-acclaimed Uztaz was reportedly arraigned and interviewed on Brekete Family over allegations of severe domestic violence. During the interview, he reportedly claimed that he had a religious right to beat his wife even if she died as a result, attributing her death to allah's destiny.

According to reports, the abuse was reportedly recurrent and involved various objects. The matter eventually went to court, and the marriage was reportedly dissolved/nullified. Yet he reportedly maintained that he did not recognize the authority of the court or law enforcement and that nobody could separate him from his wife or stop him from beating her.

His justification, according to the account, was that he believed that, Islamically, he alone had the authority to divorce his wife and that beating her was a religious obligation. Such harmful beliefs that justify or normalize violence against women are not peculiar to one religion or culture, they exist across various religions and cultures.

What is this fixation on saying that Islam allows it about? If a woman goes to her pastor and tells him that her husband beats her, he may simply tell her to pray about him or try harder to please him to avoid being beaten. So what difference does it make?

The focus should simply be on the social and cultural structures that allow domestic violence to persist. There is no significant difference in how these issues can be handled across different religious and cultural communities. Across different religions and cultures in Nigeria, there are beliefs and practices that have historically subjected women to male control. That is the bigger issue that needs to be addressed.

Such behaviour is ultimately individual. A toxic man is toxic, whether he hides behind religion or culture to justify his behaviour or not, while a non-toxic man will not use religion or culture as an excuse to mistreat his wife.

I have encountered toxicity in relationship, and if I'm being sincere, I have never personally experienced bad treatment from a Muslim man. In fact, the Muslims I have encountered have mostly been very kind; sometimes to a fault. If it weren't for my religious background, maybe I could have been married to a Muslim.

Many women are mistreated by men because some men are socialized to believe that women are inferior or that they have unquestionable authority over them. This becomes particularly serious when a woman is not financially stable or independent. Her options can become very limited when her husband has significant control over her life and decides to make the home unbearable.

jubrilELsudan:
LIKE SEY YA KÙKÚÑÁSÉ STILL GET FEELING

Aww, baby, stop crying already. I will buy you a crayon, okay? 😂🤣🤣

jubrilELsudan:
I JUST HATE NIGERIAN WOMEN WITH PASSION

The feeling is mutual

floss:
All these lines you spent roughly 20minutes achieving nothing... Another sharp guy will use 5 minutes 21 seconds to arrange for her to follow him to his car and get a well arranged BEEJAY.....

Rule number 1

Don't appear a prince or a lover boy for a Nigerian girl, that thing you want is also what she wants but she's also broke and can't feed herself

Why make such a broad generalisation? What do you mean by "a Nigerian girl"? Nigerian women are individuals, not a single species with identical motivations. You don't even know this lady in question. How do you know what she wants? How do you know she is broke? You don't know her, yet you have decided that she is looking for someone to "feed" her simply because she is a woman. You created an entire story in your head.

You just want to reduce an entire gender to one imagined script: if a woman doesn't respond to your advances, she must secretly want what you are offering but be pretending otherwise 😂

Nigerian women are not some hungry species looking for someone to feed them. You guys had better respect yourselves and stop pushing such ridiculous narratives. I could start posting receipts just to humble you guys. 😂🤣

I still remember a post about a guy who embarrassed a lady over a mere ₦12,000 food order. That post generated a lot of ridiculous comments from some guys here.

You guys talk about Nigerian women as though we are some hungry species. Just yesterday, I got these buckets of chicken from KFC for ₦41,000. KFC was running a "buy one, get one free" promo yesterday, so I got two buckets for the price of one. There are women like me who spend quite a lot on themselves and often eat well. I can't imagine a guy asking me to get into his car merely because he paid for my meal or whatsoever reason. Bro, there are 365 days in a year. You can't pay for one day's meal and start behaving like you are a means of survival. 😂🤣

Many times, women even turn down invitations to outings simply because they don't feel like going or because they are uninterested. So if a woman accepts your invitation, it is often simply because she likes your company or thinks highly enough of you to spend time with you.

aswani:
OK I am with you now as I had to look at what I posted to see how it had developed arms and legs.

Have you explained how genuine victories are clear yet as I can't see that?

I also said a lot of people think Yayi is an interloper from Lagos so he is a poor example, all you have said is a lot don't, and I should ask market traders etc. This is the same thing I can say and is not addressing the fact that some think Yayi is an interloper like I said, it doesn't mean others don't.

Anywhere, I might not have much time to respond moving forward as I have Obidients to (man)handle verbally.

By "genuine victories are usually clear," I mean that when a candidate genuinely enjoys substantial support and wins a properly conducted election, the result should not be detached from the candidate's actual support on the ground. You should ordinarily see some indication of that support through grassroots acceptance, campaign reception, public enthusiasm, turnout, and ultimately the true votes cast.

If a few people somewhere hold the wrong view that Yayi is an "interloper from Lagos," that doesn't by itself make him a poor example. Those few opinions would hardly determine the outcome of an election. What ultimately matters is what the majority truly believes and, more importantly, how that support translates into votes.

If you understand politics, you would understand that it is virtually impossible to find a political candidate who hasn't had propaganda pushed against them. But no matter how much propaganda their opponents push, it doesn't automatically determine how people will vote.

So my point remains that a candidate's broader support among the people should ultimately be reflected in the election result.

Choose your hell wisely

Choose your hell wisely

aswani:
Read my post again, this time slowly and clearly, you will see that a lot of what you have said is superfluous to your response to it.

Whatever battle you are fighting with whomever over Yayi in Ogun state, I am not interested. Take it to them, don't bring it to me as I have the small matter of Obidients to attend to.

Focus on what I posted, then respond directly to that if you feel the need to.

😂 I read your comment very well. In fact, I responded to your misinformation, not some imaginary "battle" over Yayi.

Your point was that my statement that "genuine victories are usually clear" was somehow invalid because a lot of people consider Yayi an "interloper from Lagos." I simply challenged that assertion because it does not reflect the reality on the ground.

I simply used Yayi as an example, and you responded by calling him a poor example. I naturally responded to that claim. Don't turn around and pretend I dragged you into some debate about Yayi. If you don't want to discuss Yayi, then you shouldn't have referred to him as a poor example in the first place.

My point remains very simple: the issue is not whether APC, PDP, or any other party wins. A credible election should reflect the actual choice of the people. 🗳️

aswani:
Fine, so explain in a bit more detail how "Genuine victories are usually clear."

By the way, a lot of people in Ogun state think Yayi is an interloper from Lagos so a poor example there.

Who is this comedian? 😂 You better not go around saying such on the streets of Ogun State. Imagine calling Yayi an "interloper from Lagos." This is really hilarious! 😂🤣🤣

This is probably a narrative you and other uninformed people like you have cooked up. Oga, you really need to leave your comfort zone once in a while. Ogun State is bigger than the people you discuss politics with.

Go around the communities and talk to ordinary people. Talk to market women, drivers, farmers, ordinary residents, and students in higher institutions. You would be surprised to discover that Yayi's visibility and grassroots work did not suddenly appear because he declared interest in the governorship. He has been known and active in Ogun for years.

I don't entertain propaganda. If you have evidence that he has no legitimate political roots or connection to Ogun, just bring it forward.

If you are so convinced that he isn't the people's choice, I'll make it easy for you: name the candidate you believe is more popular, more connected to the grassroots, and more capable of doing a better job. 😂

aswani:
Another one of APC loses, free and fair, APC wins, it's rigging.

This is not about APC. Genuine victories are usually clear. When an election is genuinely free and fair, the result should reflect the will of the people.

For instance, if Senator Yayi wins Ogun State, even as an APC candidate, nobody would be surprised because it is obvious that he has strong support among the people.

When people genuinely support a candidate, you can see it in the enthusiasm, grassroots support, and overall acceptance of that candidate.

aremubabs:
There is something called nepotism, and there is no justification for it, except in Nigeria where corruption is your people's surname.

I am sure Trump has competent Trumps in his family. But he knows better than to put them in his government.

One or two Adelekes is OK. But 10 Adelekes, many of them biological with only one or two related by marriage, and you don't see anything wrong with it in the name of competence?

They even squeezed Davido into the government.

OK O.

You said there are 10 Adelekes "running" the Osun State Government. Fine. List all 10. Give us their exact positions, their relationship to Governor Adeleke, and the evidence that each appointment amounts to nepotism.

Comparing Governor Adeleke to Trump doesn't prove anything. To establish nepotism, you have to show that these appointments were made solely because of family connections rather than competence, qualifications, or suitability.

And sharing the same surname doesn't even prove relationship either. Are you related to everyone who shares your surname? 😂

Don't just go around spreading lies and propaganda. Get your facts right.

millionboi:
wait oo before telling him to look for another job,is it only me that ready the part he said he earns in six figure,is that not about a million naira,does it mean he had no investment and was only wasting it on her?

Six figures doesn't start at ₦1,000,000. I am today years old when I discovered that. I used to think that only the zeros counted. 😭

May what one doesn't know not make one seem like a liar. 😂

Someone was asking me about a particular project, and I told the person that it went well and that I made six figures from it. The person was shocked to hear that, and that was how I discovered that I had been using "six figures" incorrectly all along. 😭