₦airaland Forum

Love can cover mistakes, but it cannot heal intentional or repeated hurts.

The first time may be a mistake; the second time raises serious questions, and the third time shows a pattern. It is simply unwise to feel obligated to stay with a repeat offender, because forgiveness without genuine repentance becomes permission.

The true test of love is not how much betrayal you can tolerate, but how much respect, honesty, and commitment you are willing to give your partner.

Love is a two-way street, not a license for one person to keep hurting the other.

That being said, I can already tell your age. Being a child means you are not ready for the responsibilities a family demands. Wait until you are grown and can fully grasp the commitment, responsibility, and consequences involved.

WatchYourSix:
lol……U like to paint a picture that majority of Yall are saints and victims of men… and yall act evil because men treat you badly… thats not true, maybe in former times but not in these modern era….unless you just want to lie to urself ….

If you understand psychology, you would understand my point better. Financial stress can make people, whether male or female, more insecure and emotionally reactive.

Some of the little things that people under financial pressure take to heart can be quite amusing: "He said this to me," "She looked at me this way," or "He asked me to do this and that." They often read too much into ordinary situations. Husbands and wives can even end up fighting over unreasonable and petty issues; things that could simply be ignored or overlooked. Some of these reactions stem from underlying issues rather than the situation itself.

There are situations and behaviours that are relatively uncommon in healthy, stable environments or when things are going well financially. I have a relative who often asks me for money whenever I am loaded, and I once wondered how he always knew. When I asked him, he said that whenever he noticed I was calm, relaxed, and not easily triggered; even in situations where I normally would be; he could tell I was doing well financially at the time. Even if somebody says something negative about me, I would not react strongly or I would simply ignore it. If somebody tries to start an argument, I usually avoid it and remain calm. He claims those are the signs he uses to know.

Emotional responses from one situation can influence reactions in another. I recall when my car was involved in an accident, I tried not to take the financial loss to heart. I comforted myself by reminding myself that it was only a material possession and thanking God that no life was lost. However, on the third day, I hit my leg on something in my room; perhaps a stool; I can't quite remember. Suddenly, all the emotions I had been suppressing came pouring out. I could no longer hold them back. I started throwing tantrums, asking God why things always had to happen to me, and expressing my frustration and anger intensely. On a normal day, hitting my leg would not have been a big deal, but the emotions that had already been building up underneath triggered it.

I also recall a situation involving an acquaintance of my family who made a scene at Kilimanjaro Eatery at Murtala Muhammed Airport. That day, my dad was travelling to Germany, and my mum, my siblings, and I accompanied him to the airport. Two family friends and this acquaintance, who happened to be a mechanic, also came along with us.
The airport was crowded, so we stayed at the Kilimanjaro Eatery while waiting for my dad's departure. We occupied several seats. At some point, a staff member approached the mechanic and politely asked him to vacate his seat. He immediately took offence and started making a scene, asking why he had been singled out.

My siblings and I were seated at a separate table eating the snacks and food we ordered, while the others were together talking. We were regular customers of that particular Kilimanjaro branch and especially enjoyed their burgers. We often visited even when no one was travelling.

The staff member simply needed someone to move first and happened to choose him. However, he seemed to take it personally. He appeared to feel that he was being judged or singled out, even though nothing about his appearance reflected his occupation or status. He was not poorly dressed or unkempt. As time went on, the staff asked other people to vacate their seats as more seating became necessary. It was clear the staff were simply doing their job and managing a crowded space.

My point is not that financial hardship excuses bad behaviour. Rather, financial stress can create emotional pressure that affects how people interpret and react to everyday situations. Sometimes what appears to be an overreaction is actually the result of frustration, worry, and insecurity that has been building up over time.

Financial pressure in Nigeria is very high and is one of the leading causes of many marital problems. Many broke people are simply overly sensitive and interpret normal situations as disrespect, even when none is intended.

jaytii:
Even If you give her the World, it will never be enough


you need her character, her loyalty, her emotional maturity, and her peace.

In today's generation, women are not capable of giving any man these things you mentioned.

The majority of women don't lack these qualities; they simply become more visible when a woman feels safe, secure, and trusts her environment. In healthy homes, these traits are more likely to flourish.

Some negative behaviours seen in certain women are even often responses to toxic environments or forms of self-protection.

RollinTNDA:
Women marry for money not love

And men marry for beauty or free domestic labour, not love

Some of you speak as if men are saints or as if they are in relationships out of charity. Any gender can be driven by self-interest.

Marriage and pregnancy are two ways many women become tied down in relationships that do not align with their happiness or wellbeing. Many women would be happier most times without marriage, so avoid marriage if you can.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSxQMRMNE/

May God Almighty, in His infinite mercy, continue to bless Pastor Emmanuel Irene for standing up against injustice and speaking for ordinary Nigerians. In a country where many people stay silent out of fear or personal interest, he chose to publicly protest and stand with Nigerians during a difficult time.

What he did should never be forgotten in the history of Nigeria. Not everyone will understand the courage it takes to speak up in difficult times, especially in a society where many only care when issues affect them personally.

May God reward him for identifying with the struggles and pain of Nigerians. May he never lack help in his own time of need. May God continue to strengthen him, protect him, and elevate him beyond expectations.

A lot of people have influence, but very few truly use it for the good of others. Acts like this remind us that humanity, courage, and compassion still exist.

May every Nigerian who genuinely desires a better country remember and appreciate people who stand up for truth, justice, and the wellbeing of the people. May history be kind to him, and may his good deeds never be forgotten.

.

HacheNoire:
You can’t just jump into conclusion without even hearing from the man himself to see if his excuses are justified.

If you are familiar with life as an adult, some plans and trips we make were budgeted for a short time and end up taking more than we even envisaged or budgeted.

Definitely something held him there. A poor man of his kid was not in an hotel lavishing money. He def had what held him there. Hearing from him before crucifying him would have been best.

There are people who are genuinely irresponsible, though they may still be very good and caring in other ways.

Love has already gotten into her head. Before allowing love to grow too deep or get out of hand, it is best to first study people and look out for habits or destructive traits, because there are stages love can reach where it becomes difficult to let go.

There is nothing wrong with suffering with someone, as long as it is with the right person. If two people are both ambitious and supportive, they can attain great heights.

Love is good when it is with someone who can influence you positively, is ambitious, or matches your goals. There are people you cannot lift; if you try to lift them, their weight may pull you down.

I have experienced the hurt that comes from love, though not in a romantic or dating relationship. There is someone I really care about. This person is genuinely kind and caring, but she has money issues. She is the kind who can squander millions in one day.

Sometimes, I would break down in tears and explain how her behaviour is hurting me, and she would also break down as well. She often promises to change, but she never does. At times, she stops for a while and later continues the same behaviour. I have even promised myself several times that I will not help her again, but it is not that easy to turn a blind eye when someone you care about is in need or in problem. At the moment, I have been setting boundaries.

One of the most painful lessons this has taught me about life, and which I also apply in dating relationships, is that we often share in the pain of those we love, whether in friendships, with relatives, or in relationships. Rather than simply relying on emotions alone, it is better to think carefully when choosing people. There are people with destructive habits or traits that are not intentional, but they can still be harmful to you.

tunnyl:
Wonderful. Wetin man go talk bayi. As I dey swerve go left you dey swerve go right. I have kuku read the old messages but my brain is not well booted for a looooong reply i planned.

Anyways back to the topic and i will reply all in this post. See sincerely ehn my lady God never gjves you what you cannot handle and if ge gives someone a terrible partner then theres every possibility that one is able to handle him or her. Thats why this same person ends up dating the same person in a different body. There is an issue that needs to be fixed by the person in side the person or the person’s partner which the person has deliberately refused to deal with due to selfishness.

Don’t defend people you know absolutely nothing about their background. You dont know their thoughts. You don’t know their spiritual battles. Did you know that the person who plays the victim is usually the perpetrator. They know deep down that they are the reason their partner behaves the way he does towards them but they will never dare to admit it.

Did you know that everyone is privileged and exposed to the truth also. God gave all of us certain gifts that always ends up achieving the same goal. For example two people’s lufe partner are in Oyo state. God will use NYSC to carry one to Oyo state to meet the life partner and he will use Tinder for the other one to find his life partner in Oyo state. Thats how God balance things up.

You say you are exposed and privileged thats why you act in a civil manner towards your man. But there are women also exposed to what you are exposed to and privileged like you that have refused to act civil towards their partners. They know their mouth runs like water but they cannot control it. They force their partners to accept them as they are. Then there are some who cannot even see what rhey are doing as wrong. How in the hell do you hope to save these kinds of people.

All am saying is, you only know yourself and assuming all women are innocent is not the right assumption. I am not saying cheating in marriage is a good thing but that person saw the partner’s flaws before they went into relationship with them.

No one is saying women should shrink themselves. All we are saying is a woman should respect her man. And marriage is an institution with the man as the head and the woman as the shoulder. They bothe work together but one is the coordinator not the controller but the coordinator.

The problem with modern women is that they dont like being corrected or challenged.

I am actually the Nigerian definition of a "bad woman" because I love myself so much that I cannot allow any harm or discomfort to come to me. Rather than following advice about waiting for God to shape a woman into what her husband deserves, it is better to select a partner based on compatibility and discard any man that is not compatible with one's values, goals, and standards. A word is enough for the wise.

I can't keep going back and forth with you. I'll leave it here.

tunnyl:
Wonderful. Wetin man go talk bayi. As I dey swerve go left you dey swerve go right. I have kuku read the old messages but my brain is not well booted for a looooong reply i planned.

Anyways back to the topic and i will reply all in this post. See sincerely ehn my lady God never gjves you what you cannot handle and if ge gives someone a terrible partner then theres every possibility that one is able to handle him or her. Thats why this same person ends up dating the same person in a different body. There is an issue that needs to be fixed by the person in side the person or the person’s partner which the person has deliberately refused to deal with due to selfishness.

Don’t defend people you know absolutely nothing about their background. You dont know their thoughts. You don’t know their spiritual battles. Did you know that the person who plays the victim is usually the perpetrator. They know deep down that they are the reason their partner behaves the way he does towards them but they will never dare to admit it.

Did you know that everyone is privileged and exposed to the truth also. God gave all of us certain gifts that always ends up achieving the same goal. For example two people’s lufe partner are in Oyo state. God will use NYSC to carry one to Oyo state to meet the life partner and he will use Tinder for the other one to find his life partner in Oyo state. Thats how God balance things up.

You say you are exposed and privileged thats why you act in a civil manner towards your man. But there are women also exposed to what you are exposed to and privileged like you that have refused to act civil towards their partners. They know their mouth runs like water but they cannot control it. They force their partners to accept them as they are. Then there are some who cannot even see what rhey are doing as wrong. How in the hell do you hope to save these kinds of people.

All am saying is, you only know yourself and assuming all women are innocent is not the right assumption. I am not saying cheating in marriage is a good thing but that person saw the partner’s flaws before they went into relationship with them.

No one is saying women should shrink themselves. All we are saying is a woman should respect her man. And marriage is an institution with the man as the head and the woman as the shoulder. They bothe work together but one is the coordinator not the controller but the coordinator.

The problem with modern women is that they dont like being corrected or challenged.

Take a look at this particular statement you wrote: "the person who plays the victim is usually the perpetrator." Men who constantly advertise patience and endurance are often lobbying for their own selfish interests and gender comfort. They want respect even at the cost of a woman's discomfort.

According to your logic, every woman that complains is evil, even those who waited patiently, got deeply hurt, or even died in the process. They are suddenly "playing victim." I could have been one of those women too. Would people who do not know me personally not still push the blame on me simply because I am a woman?

Every woman should ensure she does not become a victim. Society will judge and mock women either way, so do what is best for yourself.

Not everyone is privileged or exposed to knowledge, and God did not promise that every marital decision would turn out well. People make bad marital decisions and regret them even in the Bible. Abigail regretted marrying Nabal, and Ahab's marriage to Jezebel led him into destruction.

Many things people portray as sin are simply self-righteous opinions. If I decide to end 1 million dating relationships, it is not a sin. If I never get married, it is not a sin. If I marry out of personal choice or interest, it is not a sin. If I leave a cheating husband, it is not a sin. If I leave an abusive husband, it is not a sin.

The Bible says, "My people perish for lack of knowledge." Running away from danger is supported in the Bible. The Bible teaches people to flee danger and stay away from wicked people. God cast satan out of Heaven. Joseph and Mary fled with Jesus to protect Him. David fled from Saul. Elijah fled for his life. Many people in the Bible ran from danger. Blind patience, tolerance, and endurance in harmful situations is not wisdom.

Rather than insulting my guy or saying he "runs his mouth like water," I calmly corrected him to solve the issue. A man who dislikes shouting should correct his partner calmly as well. There are both men and women who shout, so why condemn women alone for it? If shouting is harmful to mental health, then men should also stop shouting. Women are human beings with emotions too. If a man wants to lead, he should lead by example.

Respect is for men who love and value their women and do not disrespect or belittle them. My guy loves and values me a lot, and he does not disrespect me, so it is only normal for me to accord him respect as well.

Times are changing, and men need to realize that women can also have self-focused ambitions, just like men do, and still support those choices with the Bible.

The religious sentiments you used to excuse men's wickedness are not actually Biblical. Nowhere does the Bible defend abuse or irresponsibility as spiritual battle. In fact, it repeatedly warns men against treating their wives wrongly. Many biblical men treated their wives with care and respect. The Bible teaches accountability and responsibility, not cruelty.

By your logic, men should not complain when their partners cheat either, since people supposedly "see the flaws before entering relationships."

Any woman who perceives danger in a relationship should leave. Do not make another person's happiness come at the expense of your peace, safety, or wellbeing. Love yourself first.

IreMide999:
Remaining chaste is a beautiful choice for unmarried ladies.
It helps preserve purity and self-respect.
It builds confidence and self-control.
It allows you to stay focused on your goals and future.
It reduces the risk of infections and unwanted pregnancy.
It also helps you avoid emotional burdens and unnecessary pressure.
There are many benefits to living a disciplined life.
Why place yourself under a burden that can be avoided?

It is wrong to present virginity as a measure of a woman's worth. Name one woman today who is highly valued simply because she is a virgin. The people we respect and celebrate today are valued for their work, influence, achievements, and impact, not their sexual history. Virginity has no economic or developmental value.

Self-respect is based on values, character, and behaviour, not sexual activity or abstinence.

Virginity can be a personal or religious decision for both males and females, but it is misleading when it is framed as something that confers physical or social superiority or defines a woman's worth. It honestly does not.

In a religious sense, all sin is accountable before God, and no one is morally superior based on a single aspect of their life. A virgin who lives in wrongdoing is not "better" than a non-virgin who repents and lives rightly. What matters is repentance, character, and righteousness. Virginity does not define righteousness.

Health concerns should also be stated generally. Men are not immune to infections, and sexually transmitted infections are not exclusive to premarital sex. There are people that practice safe premarital sex and avoid infections, and there are also cases where women contract infections from a partner's infidelity within marriage.

Virginity should not be turned into a standard for women or treated as something exclusive to women, men can decide to abstain from pre-marital sex as well.

tunnyl:
For instance You now, you said ur guy shouts sometimes but you go silent to make him dealize you don’t like the noise. The ladies wey you dey defend online dem go join shout with their man, drag him cloth join body.

I am not better than many women; I am just privileged and exposed to the truth. I am not facing relationship stress, but I am still human, and when I see other women out there going through emotional pain and psychological discomfort, it breaks me.

A great war has to be waged against selfish and male-centered content that constantly teaches women to endure everything in silence. More content encouraging women to love themselves, value themselves, and protect their emotional well-being is supposed to be in circulation.

I will always enlighten and support women. We, the enlightened and privileged ones, cannot keep quiet while many women are still trapped in unhealthy mindsets and relationship patterns. Some women have been conditioned to see their husbands as gods, believing they must be patient and tolerate anything just to keep peace in the home, even when it destroys them physically and emotionally.

This painful video shows the kind of emotional patterns selfish ideologies create:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTfjgbATY1U?si=NMMVJId14lU2xNMp

In the video, a young girl narrated how her father killed her mother.

I will always stand against content that promotes selfishness and unhealthy male-centered ideologies, whether it affects me personally or not.

Unhealthy standard

tunnyl:
I have seen women that dont stress themselves about what their husbands are doing, they go to their workplace and return home to their man. They have beautiful conversations and enjoy with the kids till the next day. Those ones sef will tell you it was very difficult at first but they scaled through.

Healthy standard
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSxmdASEb/

tunnyl:
If thats the case then why do older women beg younger women to stay in their marriages. A case happened recently where a friend of mine left her husband’s house based on many allegations. When she moved bk to the family house everybody was supporting her and even took the husband to human rights.

This lady stayed only few months and dem don dey whisper seh she dey disrurb them. One even went to meet her that abi they should help her beg her husband.

Older women they value husbands a lot. Rarely have i met an older woman who doesn’t value her husband. Single mothers nko. They love men ehn. When you meet them and you seem like a good man they will be telling you how they wish you could stay behind forever and not leave them.

Older women used to say women dont know what they are doing till they get to a certain age. I concur though. Av met some ladies that says they are very good people in general but whenever they start to be in relationship with that same good friends of theirs that they just transform into a crazy girlfriend overnight.

A woman can brag about how she only wants a financially stable guy but will end up with a broke dude simply because of how he makes her feel at that moment. That one moment will make her project into the future what is impossible then when she wakes up she starts to blame the man.

E no matter wetin man fit do for woman. Women have different reasons they need men. It could be one very tiny insignificant thing but smart women wey dey enjoy husband house never ever comes out to ask what she needs a man for. She just simply flex the marriage as she should. I have seen women that dont stress themselves about what their husbands are doing, they go to their workplace and return home to their man. They have beautiful conversations and enjoy with the kids till the next day. Those ones sef will tell you it was very difficult at first but they scaled through.

For instance You now, you said ur guy shouts sometimes but you go silent to make him dealize you don’t like the noise. The ladies wey you dey defend online dem go join shout with their man, drag him cloth join body.

In relationships, both parties should be willing to make necessary adjustments. Demanding that women should always be the patient, mature, understanding, and enduring ones is simply a selfish and unacceptable expectation. Not every woman is willing to lower herself to that standard.

Men are not babies that should be held to lower standards of accountability or emotional maturity. If happiness and patience matter, then it applies to both genders, not just women.

If cheating is wrong for women, then it is wrong for men. If shouting is disrespectful when women do it, then it is disrespectful when men do it. Anything men cannot tolerate from women, they should stop comfortably dishing out to women. Simple.

It is funny how confidently you generalize women as though all women think alike. Women are not customized robots programmed with the same definition of peace, tolerance, happiness, love, or marriage. What works for one woman may feel like suffering to another.

There are women who love marriage and are desperate for it. There are also women who are not desperate for marriage, and some who do not want marriage at all. I am a woman, and I can boldly say I can happily live without ever getting married. I am with my partner because I want him, not because my survival depends on him. I have met older women who never married and still strongly believe marriage is not ideal for them.

Many older women advising younger women to endure suffering are often speaking from cultural conditioning, not from happiness or peace. A lot of them were raised to see men like gods and to preserve marriage at all costs, even at the expense of their dignity, mental health, or happiness. Some endured cheating, disrespect, belittling, and abuse because culture taught them endurance was a woman's duty.

Women are human beings with feelings, not emotional dumping grounds for male irresponsibility. The same way men dislike disrespect, pain, and betrayal is the same way women dislike it too. Women are not superhumans created to endlessly tolerate rubbish in the name of marriage.

Marriage is sweet when it serves its purpose. When it becomes a burden filled with stress, disrespect, unhappiness, or emotional suffering, people start questioning its essence and regretting getting into it.

The logical fact remains that relationships can fail because of the man, the woman, both parties, or incompatibility. There are responsible men and irresponsible men. There are responsible women and irresponsible women. Human beings are different.

So this constant framing of women as the ones lacking patience and maturity while men are excused from equal accountability is biased, self-centred, and unrealistic. Relationships require the same level of accountability, patience, and emotional maturity from both sides.

Not every woman wants to become a sacrificial lamb to satisfy society's idealogies.

tunnyl:
All what you have said still boils down to what i said in my original post. A woman has to be patient to build with her partner or potential partner to be able to benefit positively from that partner.

I still reiterate that no woman likes to be alone. Its just that they want a Prince Charming. They want food wey don done. They dont want to go through the rigorous process of early stage of relationship.

It’s punishment o. You know seh woman ego big pass man own. Especially among her peers and her subordinates. Nope not all that kind of relationship is valuable. Everything is a test. The man could be playing her for her money. Also did you know that women despise men that let them do what they want. Women study everything the man does. No single thing goes unnoticed.

Look ma’am the truth of the matter is people, women aside now. People who are victimized, cheated on, treated badly. Those people you will never ever hear them complain. They wont even let you defend them.

Like i said earlier. You are rebelling against that cultural “shackles” that has benefited women. Do you know how hard it is to resist emotions?. Infact financial independence feeds women lack of self control. She opens up to everyone that seem nice to her so they mess her up plenty times. Life becomes like an office job to this kinds of women.

What do you mean no woman likes to be alone? If you mention me and marriage in the same sentence to people around me, they would immediately start laughing🤣🤣 🤣

I am a woman and I honestly cannot relate to most of what you wrote, yet you are so confident that this is how all women think and behave. What kind of projections are these?

A lot of what you are describing is not "female nature," it is simply a mindset society normalized for generations.

Not every woman is desperate for marriage, not every woman sees suffering as loyalty, and not every financially independent woman lacks self-control. Human beings are different.

tunnyl:
Hope you are aware the guy can send her packing. And now she’s single again. Now she has to hunt for guys and start the cycle all over. But the guy can just marry another woman almost immediately. Men can marry the most ugliest woman. Women are picky and choosy. Na there she go old.

The odds are against you guys my dear. At the end of the day na talk we just dey talk reality speaks for itself.

Frank Edoho's wife is a beautiful, financially independent woman. Which one is "send her packing"? How is that a punishment to a financially independent woman? Many financially independent women would even gladly let go of a cheating partner. When a man cheats, his value reduces. Better to die single than to be with a cheating man.

It is better to grow old in peace. Life is better spent in peace than in bitterness. Worry and overstress have even caused some married women to grow grey hair early and look like great-grandmothers.

Many financially stable women value men they can trust. You would find her in her feminine energy when she finds companionship in a man. She does not value every man, but she values her man. Such relationships are likely to be genuine because it is not about survival. Everything about the relationship is genuine and natural: genuine love, genuine respect, genuine desire, genuine companionship, genuine emotional safety, and genuine connection.

Women do not need men; women want that particular man who matches them. That is why there are preferences in relationships and why many women do not simply marry just any man. If women truly needed men or could not survive without them, many widows would not choose to remain unmarried after losing their husbands.

You can force people to pretend they are happy, but you cannot force them to believe they are happy.

Women that have cheating husbands are not happy. Women that are constantly being abused and hit by their husbands are not happy. Women that are constantly being belittled, insulted, and disrespected by their husbands are not happy.

There is an extent to which a mentally stable person can tolerate. Yes, marriage requires some level of tolerance, but once it turns into mistreatment, it has already crossed the line.

There are many unhappy and unhealthy marriages. Many women remain because they are financially dependent, while others stay trapped by psychological conditioning rooted in religion or societal pressure.

tunnyl:
Hope you are aware the guy can send her packing. And now she’s single again. Now she has to hunt for guys and start the cycle all over. But the guy can just marry another woman almost immediately. Men can marry the most ugliest woman. Women are picky and choosy. Na there she go old.

The odds are against you guys my dear. At the end of the day na talk we just dey talk reality speaks for itself.

If a cheating man leaves, it is freedom to a woman who knows her value. If every woman knew her worth and value, so many nonsense things men do would stop.

Women should not allow men to treat them wrongly. Every woman deserves peace. A healthy relationship requires peace, and peace means different things to different people. That is why every woman should choose a man who aligns with her peace and clearly define what peace means to her.

There was a time my boyfriend was yelling, and I told him, "Honey, you are shouting." That day, he stopped. After that day, anytime he started yelling, I would often go silent. With time, he adjusted to the fact that I hate noise and that if we have to communicate, it should be done calmly.

Many women are not scared of losing a loser or a cheater. A woman's refusal to cheat is not rooted in fear, but in respect for the bond she shares in her relationship.

My guy doesn't live in Nigeria. The last time he visited, I noticed he was feeling unnecessarily jealous but trying to hide it. Even when random guys merely glance at me, I can sense his tension.

Though there are some guys who go too far; the moment he looks away or steps aside for just a minute, they would try to strike up a conversation with me or ask whether he is my brother or my uncle. He eventually voiced his feelings when I had a minor accident recently and a particular man was the one who helped me, and I had to make him understand that I am with him because I value our relationship and the bond we share. Many women often meet wealthier, finer, better, and more caring men than their partners who could easily capture their attention, but out of respect for their relationship, they exercise self-control and remain faithful.

I pity future relationships. If men continue to take women for granted, relationships will lose respect, loyalty, and emotional depth, and interest in relationships will gradually decline.

As society evolves and more women become financially independent, the uselessness of many men would become more obvious.

I have an assignment for you: bring out the importance of a husband to a financially stable woman. If your answer is offspring, science has made that easier. How much does it cost to get a sperm donor?🤣🤣🤣

There are many videos online where married, financially stable women question the essence of marriage.

The only thing some men can provide in marriage is finance, and a financially stable woman is not after finance in marriage; she just wants peace. Once peace fades or does not exist, she begins to question the essence of marriage.

tunnyl:
But if thats the case why are you women supporting Frank Edoho’s wife. Does it mean all women cheat on their husbands or ifs a fantasy among women

All this while men have been excusing, supporting, and endorsing cheating. Does that mean all men cheat on their wives, or is it just a fantasy among men?

tunnyl:
Yes he is right for irresponsible men. Not all men are irresponsible. A responsible man expects a sensible woman.

Exactly, you get the point, but you prefer to speak from a biased and illogical position.

There are responsible and irresponsible men, and responsible and irresponsible women.

Behaviour is individual, not gender-based.

Therefore, the issue clearly lies with individuals, not gender.

Rapmoney:
For some days, the internet has been on fire over the alleged affair between the wife of Nigerian TV personality, Frank Edoho and singer, Chike.

I am not the type of person that spends much time online following trending stories, and all that, but one thing I noticed is that each time the story pops up, and I view the comments, I feel so ashamed at some of our young Nigerian mothers. What are you teaching your sons and daughters when you openly support a cheating wife? Would you openly showcase such support if the victim happens to be your brother or son?

Now, to the young men out there, let me give you a candid advice, and this is the gospel truth. Not every man out there is as meek as Frank Edoho. Some men out there are tigers and lions that belong to various cult groups. If you sleep with their wives, they will spend their time and money to make sure that you either leave the surface of the Earth, or you lose your hands and legs, and become useless in life.

My secondary school classmate had his head butchered with a matchet, and his right leg cut off at Isolo, Lagos for romancing with another man's wife. Unfortunately, he could not make it, as he died in the hospital after four days.

Whether a man is taking care of his wife or not, leave them alone. It is a family affair. God did not create you to be providing comfort or romance for women who lack such in their marriage. Please, it is not your duty to provide succour to a woman who lacks romance or care in her home. Just because you have six packs and a handsome face. Many men have gone. Be wise!

This is not a bro code. It is a warning. There is something Warri people call 'To die kamala'. It means to die for something that is not worth it.

Stop this hypocritical nonsense. Why is cheating suddenly such a big deal? Is it something new under the sun? All this while, men have been cheating and have been cheered, defended, excused, and embraced for it. Where have you been?

Whenever stories of a wife being mistreated or cheated on come up, many men are quick to ask, "What did she do wrong?" I feel so ashamed of many men. What exactly were the men supporting cheating husbands teaching their sons and daughters? Would you stay quiet if the victim were your sister or daughter?

Women are free human beings just like men. Without religion, many useless and irresponsible men would be left without wives.

The real gospel truth is that a stronger or more influential man can also take the wife of a careless and irresponsible man, and there is absolutely nothing he can do about it.

David took Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, and had Uriah killed, yet he later repented and continued to be celebrated.

When Nabal, who mocked David, died, David married his wife, Abigail.

Instead of advising your fellow men to treat their wives better, some of you are here making excuses and throwing threats around. Many of you are clearly not ready for change. I am loving this new development🤣

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSxB3Qh4K/
This video is clear evidence that school is not a scam. More guys need to study clinical psychology and then train other guys so the world can be a better place.

tunnyl:
Hmmm…. So if i approached you and asked you out what will your relationship status be? Single lady?. Because you are not married means you are a single lady? Does that mean you are ready to mingle? Think about that before you throw the words “single lady” around.

Marriage is an institution and men are the head of that institution but modern women seem to want to rebel against that idea. They want their partner to be their “equal” because they can both stand upright and walk with two legs. They think the man being the leader means he wants to walk over them and boss them around.

To reiterate marriage is an institution. As an institution the man is automatically the head. Having this in mind would guide every woman to make careful decisions. To choose partners who would lead with love and who listens. But thinking a man and a woman are equal when it comes to relationship is an idea that has never worked.

A man no matter how dormant and dense he appears to be can lead a family better than a domineering and strong woman. I have seen marriages where it seems its the woman that’s running everything in the house hut looking deep into that marriage you will see that there are situations where the man stands his ground to ensure that that woman doesn’t run the family to mud!.

When a woman marries a man she has chosen to surrender her leadership to that man ma’am. Because if you truly think deeply you chose that guy not because he is handsome but because he had leadership traits and you are sure that he can coordinate you towards your goal. Even though you both share same ideals you know that his contribution will propel your goals and aspirations immensely towards your desired destination.

What i think you are rebelling against is the style of leadership common in our african homes whereby the man is the lord and savior of the family. Whereby the man is a despotic leader who doesn’t listen to his wife. Its not the same in every African home.

To address your last point about women being free to do as they please. Have you seen latest podcasts and most recently Frank Edoho’s case. Look at all what they did for their wives and see how they paid them back. For some weird reason women seem to be a rebellious gender. They seem not to like order. It seems they view order as some sort of control and restrictions. If you are the type of man that leaves her alone to do as she pleases and supports her she seem to also resent you for being good to her. Modern women are messed up mehn.

All glory be to God that society has evolved and more women are becoming enlightened day by day. May God Almighty, the unracist God of Heaven, continue to bless every hand, individual, government, and agency empowering women.

With time, even job creation will be at equilibrium for both men and women. You guys have not even started crying yet, carry on with your selfish expectations, the future will tell.

Culture wey dey crazy. Culture look woman wella tell her say she belong to a man, come dey train her on how she go make man happy. Her, she be goat right? She no get emotions?

A leader leads by example. How many men can even lead? One woman decide to follow una example and cheat small, una dey cry and question her behaviour all over the internet 🤣🤣🤣

The same culture that supports and excuses men's bad behaviours, including cheating, has no right to act as moral police or limit women's freedom.

Men do not have the moral authority to criticize women.

Men never finish advising their fellow men, but dem wan turn teachers and moral defenders for women🤣🤣🤣

Some men are simply hypocrites. There are drunkards wey dey lie for gutter, throw up on themselves, pee on their bodies, display all sort of nonsense in public, but na the lady wey no wear bra be the problem to some guys.

Every man na leader, even drunkards self go dey claim leadership for their homes. Una no get problem. Carry on🤣🤣🤣

tunnyl:
Men and women are wired differently. You talk asif your orientation is modern. In the old days people look at towns and villages and the home a woman came from before proceeding to date or marry her. To avoid orientations such as yours. But because its a mixed society and your voices are louder in this impulsive internet space you think all women welcome your kind of thinking.

Societal norms and cultures are actually set up to protect the weaker gender (women) from their impulsive decisions and from stronger and domineering gender (men).

Most marriages where the women initiates the relationships usually end badly except for very few and those few they were both friends and didn’t met at random places where fhe lady goes to “toast” him.

This thing you call modern is just “impulse”. Everybody wants to do what they like. They think culture is something backwards. They think restrictions are prison sentences.

This person you are dating why hasn’t he married you?. And if you are the one telling him to marry you then trust me he doesn’t rate you at all. You have to understand how men think. Men know a marriageable woman and a temporary woman.

Also you claim to be a single lady yet you are dating someone. You are not single. You are in a relationship.

How do you u know women are stressed in marriages when you’ve never been married.

Your entire argument keeps reducing women to a man's possession instead of seeing women as full human beings with their own intelligence, values, preferences, and different life goals.

The fact that you asked a question like "Why hasn't he married you yet?" already says a lot about how you view women. Your mindset seems to be shaped by the kind of women you are surrounded by.

Marriage is a mutual decision between two adults. Women are not commodities that men purchase.

Let this stick in your skull: no matter how much a man loves a woman, he cannot marry her until she is also ready and they both agree.

Your question is sincerely degrading to women. A woman's worth is not tied to a man. A woman's worth exists whether she is single, dating, married, or entirely uninterested in marriage. You are probably used to desperate women, but they do not represent every woman.

My partner wants marriage, but we are not in a race, so we are not rushing anything. We are approaching that stage naturally.

Let me clarify this: a "single lady" generally means a woman who is not married. This is basic knowledge but I understand you might struggle with logic and such definitions because your mindset is simply shaped by outdated standards.

You are even arguing obvious things just to defend outdated ideas. How exactly are you asking whether women experience stress in marriages as if reality is invisible? There are documented cases of domestic abuse, emotional abuse, controlling marriages, and even women being killed by their husbands. So yes, unhappy marriages do exist.

And tradition does not automatically equal wisdom. Historically, many cultures did not "protect" women; they limited women's independence, education, finances, freedom, and choices. Thank God society has evolved.

tunnyl:
Mehn this your response is long o. Well, You are well aware that among humans are narcissists. They could be men they could be women but they have similar behavior. At the core of their behavior is selfishness and jealousy. They know how to spot selfless empaths with bright light easily and become their partner. When an empath starts to date a narcissist the first thing the narcissist does is try to diminish the empath‘s light through different nefarious voodooistic means. They want the empath‘s light for themselves or they become irritated by the empath’s light so they corrupt it. Then this empath becomes a useless person in the relationship. They lose all motivation and they become dull.

These narcissists they know it’s because of the voodoo they did or are doing to this person thats making this person act this way but still they do not care. They will continue to do that evil to that empath. Then they will start to complain and rant and gaslight the empath about how he or she lacks motivation in life and how they are incompatible. They use this excuse to run away after they have messed these empaths up. Then when people ask them why they left, they tell them that it’s because the empath lacks motivation and doesn’t want to work.

Most of the time in the relationship the narcissist is always the woman and the empath is the man. There are rare cases, say like 25% of the time where men are the narcissist. Those are the men you mentioned.

Now back to compatibility. When you ask a woman to define those things you call standards, goals, values, etc. You will observe that she attributes those things to material things. However very few men gain those things at an early age all he has below the age of 40 or below 35 are his potentials and his small or meager salary. Women who have been patient with these kinds of men are the ones who enjoys their marriage more than women who goes out hunting for men that fits their goals and lifestyle.

Wait! What would you do if you see a man who matches your ideal?, you will walk up to him and do what? Show him how low value you are by asking him out. Also best believe that the man that already has his goals and aspirations figured out in life is not looking for a woman because he already has one or doesn’t want the stress that comes with women.


And nope! Ma’am single ladies are not happy. Women are sentimental beings. They need their surroundings to make them happy. They like the idea of having a comfort zone where they cam rest their head. Even though when they get it they usually try to mess it up but you see that idea of having a comfort zone it keeps the single lady going out everyday hunting for a partner and if she is a single mum it keeps her up at night crying her eyes off.

What a dilemma. The guy she is dating has his own girlfriend and doesn’t want to stay the night with her. He loathes the idea of marrying her but leads her on. He knows all she is good for is nice conversation and the other rooms but his comfort zone is with his wide or his babe. Imagine having to beg a guy to stay the night with you.

Have you seen girls nowadays. They trip for any fine guy. Small thing they are rolling their hair. You are talking about standards when girls nowadays will sleep with you for free. You seem not to know how bad the situation is with this generation.

So much nonsense. You sound mentally stuck in the 60s, not in today's reality, and I honestly don't even want bother trying to convince you otherwise.

You keep speaking as if all women think and behave the same way, which already shows how unrealistic your mindset is.

Some women are simply single by choice and are doing perfectly fine.

How exactly would you know single ladies are unhappy? Are you a single lady? I am a single lady, and I wake up every day happy and at peace. I don't have anyone stressing my life, disturbing my mental health, or bringing unnecessary drama into my space. I focus on my business, my goals, my peace of mind, and I am dating someone who values my peace.

And that "low value" idea is honestly ridiculous. We are in 2026, not the 1990s where women had to sit quietly pretending they had no interest in men just to appear "valuable." Value is not determined by who approaches first. Value is tied to personality, character, mindset, qualities, emotional intelligence, and what someone brings into a relationship. I know people personally, including family friends and acquaintances, where the woman was the one who approached first, and they are in healthy and stable relationships today.

Why the unnecessary moral panic? What exactly is wrong with women being attracted to men or "tripping" for fine guys? Men also do the same for women they find attractive, so why is it only an issue when women do it?

You also claimed that successful men do not want women or relationships, which is completely false. Many successful and accomplished men are dating, married, or actively building families. I am dating one myself, and he was even in a relationship when we met. Your narrative does not match reality.

Your entire write-up is simply a mix of stereotypes, online gender theories, and personal assumptions rather than facts.

Your claim does not even align with psychological findings. Men actually tend to score higher in narcissistic traits.