₦airaland Forum

simpleseyi:
I am a Muslim, if this lady tries this nonsense in our domain, she will be tied to a true at the market square are whipped mercilessly because she has been willingly sleeping with someone and has come out to confess to serial abortion which is murder. If she tire this nonsense in any of the Islamic nations by confessing to serial abortion which is serial murder, she will be publicly executed.

If you want to ask what will happen to the man she said she has been coming murder on behalf, it is the same thing that happened to the man who was sleeping with the adulterous woman that was about to be executed by stone the Bible, the man was not mentioned

Really, so you can't express your opinion without going as far as endorsing violence against women? Why should your disagreement with a woman's choices translate into a desire to see her whipped, tortured, or executed?

In fact, come off your delusion. Who made you the judge over an equal human being like yourself? Get this straight: you are not superior to a woman, and your religious beliefs do not give you the authority to dictate what a woman does with her body or how she lives her life. A woman could decide to have up to twenty abortions if she wants; that is not yours to decide.

If you are so enthusiastic about societies that control and punish women through violence, you are free to relocate to a country whose laws reflect the system you admire. Humanity is not obligated to preserve every religious rule or cultural practice, particularly when those practices violate human dignity and individual freedom. Your preferred principles or system of punishment cannot be imposed on the rest of the world simply because you believe they have religious justification.

Women do not exist for male validation, nor are they obligated to live according to men's moral expectations. We women will continue to make decisions about our own bodies for as long as this world exists, so be assured that you will continue to encounter women making choices that your religious beliefs condemn. No amount of outrage, religious condemnation, or threats of violence will change that reality 😂🤣🤣

Montana23:
Jericho or not, to all pastors out there..am saying it with full chest..there are no real pastors in anywhere in the world..they are all liars and promoter of lies.

😂🤣🤣 It's fake. You would have wanted it to be true, right? The moment an accusation is made against a pastor, people are often quick to condemn without waiting for the facts to be established.

guobe:
The young man was not happy finding out that the wife was now married to a white man as it made him depressed.
His life never remained thesame again as he vowed never to get married.
He vowed to stay alone and care for his only daughter and give her the best of care.
The harsh conditions of the country never favoured him as he kept on struggling.
He struggled and struggled and with the little money he had,his daughter was able to travel to an obscure East European country.
She was in the refugee camp where she got the news that her dad was in the hospital battling for his life as he has fallen ill
The man died with nobody beside him on his dying bed.
One of the greatest fears of a man is dying alone.
Rest in peace.

If he was a good man, he didn't deserve it. This story is quite touching 😭

RealityKings1:
Men's method of thinking and perception, isn't the same as that of woman. Your struggles don't really matter.

It's not all of us o.

darediamond:
Assuming you have interest in Marriage and being a Wife NOT A KNIFE, that MONEY is your basis of loving and respecting HIM means there is no Marriage at all but only MIRAGE!!!!

And it is ladies with your type of mindset that are easily fooled into relationship and later Matrimony. So many baby mamas and or single mothers out there ended up in there respective state because of the same wrong views about Courtship and Matrimony as they have developed "Entitlement Mindset" towards what ought to be Partnership.

Adam whom Eve was created for, Provides for Her: Leadership, Companionship and Seed Of The Womb needed by both of them to Multiply there Race. Every other things needed by both of them which includes Food etc. have been Pre-provided by God. Today God is no longer pre-proving anything for any Man nor Woman. And that means, today Marital Union demands the Male and Female to work together to PROVIDE FOR THERE FAMILY NEEDS NOT "my money is mine, His money is ours".

MONEY for SEX ( Matrimony Coded) and RESPECT in the face of life uncertainties would most of the times result into premium tears and pains for the females with such views most especially. It is always happening like that!! Always!!

I never said money is the basis of respect. But common sense tells us that leadership comes with greater responsibilities.

The power a boss exercises over employees comes from the authority attached to their position, which exists within an established structure of responsibility and accountability. A boss is not merely entitled to give instructions; they are also expected to pay salaries, provide the resources necessary for work, and take responsibility for the consequences of their decisions.

Similarly, if a man wants to be the leader of his household, leadership must mean more than having the final say or expecting his wife to submit. It must also mean accepting responsibility for the family's welfare, security, and needs.

The traditional system did not place men in positions of leadership while assigning them the responsibility of provision for no reason. These roles were designed to complement each other and establish an arrangement in which authority came with corresponding obligations. The idea was to make the arrangement add up: if one party was expected to assume greater authority, that authority came with greater responsibilities. Otherwise, what exactly makes it leadership rather than entitlement?

My argument is not that a woman should never contribute financially to her family. It is that you cannot insist on the privileges of traditional male leadership while dismissing the responsibilities traditionally associated with that same role.

If a man wants a different arrangement in which financial responsibilities and decision-making authority are shared differently, that is a conversation he can have with his partner. But he cannot insist on traditional privileges while selectively rejecting traditional obligations.

You cannot demand that a woman respect the structure when it gives you authority and then call her entitled when she expects you to fulfil the responsibilities that come with it.

Kalatium:
IF YOUR MONEY IS YOURS AND HIS MONEY IS OURS, WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU MARRYING HIM FOR?

There is nothing wrong with a woman having money. In fact, every woman should have the capacity to earn, save, invest and build something for herself.

Financial independence is valuable. The problem begins when financial independence is interpreted as “my resources belong exclusively to me, but your resources become a responsibility I am entitled to share.”

Imagine a woman earning ₦2 million every month while her husband earns ₦500,000. She says, “My money is my money. I worked for it.” Fine. But if the same woman expects the man to pay rent, school fees, provide food, handle emergencies, maintain the car, support both families and still prove that he is “a responsible man,” we should at least be honest about the arrangement. She is not asking for equality. She is asking to retain her income while assigning the traditional financial burden to him.

Now reverse the situation. Imagine the man earns ₦2 million while she earns ₦500,000. Suddenly, many people will say, “A man should take care of his family. Her money is her contribution, not her obligation.”

Why should the principle change simply because the gender changed?

A woman earning more than her husband is not a problem. A husband earning more than his wife is not a problem. The problem is when one person's financial strength is treated as personal property while the other person's financial strength is treated as a marital obligation.

Marriage is also too unpredictable for this mentality. A man can be wealthy when you marry him and lose his business five years later. He can lose his job, suffer a financial setback, make a bad investment or simply experience circumstances nobody anticipated.

The same thing can happen to a woman. If your commitment disappears the moment your partner's bank balance does, then perhaps what you were committed to was the lifestyle rather than the person.

There are countless marriages where women contributed significantly to their husbands' success. They supported businesses, sacrificed personal comfort, invested their own money, managed the home during difficult periods and encouraged their husbands when things were going badly. They did not see their husband's success as competition. They saw it as the family's success.

Men should be capable of doing the same for their wives.

If my wife becomes the bigger earner tomorrow, I should not feel threatened. If I become the bigger earner, she should not feel entitled to everything I make simply because I am the man.

The sensible question in marriage is not “Who earns more?”

It is “Are we building together?”

Because marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a financial arrangement where one person keeps the benefits of independence while the other person carries the obligations of tradition.

Bring your money. I will bring mine. Let us decide together how to build our family, protect our future, invest, support each other and survive difficult seasons.

Money should be a tool for building a life together. It should never become a weapon for one spouse to establish superiority over the other.

If you genuinely want a partner rather than a provider, marry with the mentality of a partner too.

I think you raised a reasonable point about financial responsibility, and it would have been completely valid if things were always exactly the way you presented them. But if we are being honest about marriage, we also have to acknowledge many of the other negative aspects that can come with it.

Financial provision from many men often comes with a sense of authority or entitlement attached to it. If we are going to criticize entitlement in women for receiving financial provision, we should also criticize how provision itself can sometimes come with pride, control, and disrespect from the men providing it.

There are men who simply use provision as a basis for control: "I pay the bills, so I can treat you anyhow,", they can buy things for their wives and use those things as an avenue to control or punish them whenever they want.

They can buy a car for their wife and later use the fact that they paid for it as a reason to restrict her access to it, seize it, or threaten to seize it whenever she does something they disapprove of.

If a woman did the same thing simply because she was financially providing for her husband, people would immediately call her controlling and disrespectful.

darediamond:
I have seen this happened too.
But some Men thinks it is not significant.
They don't know that once a lady demonstrate that selfishly irresponsible attitude, it means so many disastrous things of which is that SHE IS NEVER A WIFE MATERIAL, SHE WOULD NOT MIND SEEING HER UNINFORMED OR CARELESS HUSBAND DIEING YOUNG OR UNTIMELY ALL IN THE NAME OF HE PROVIDING FOR THE FAMILY etc.
It is during Courtship that a Responsible Guy lays the foundation against such mentality and if she disagrees, if truly the guy is Responsible, He will end the relationship sharp sharp because it takes two to tangle not one ooo! So why should He become a slave to a woman because of Sex??
Ladies whose love language is Money or ladies whose respect for you is based on your provisions are Community Wives on Rental Duties to you. Ones your Rentage expires or once you are unable to provide for them as you earlier used to base on uncertainty of life, Then there conditional respect and love for you ends.

Is that the kind of a woman a Responsible Man ought to wish to marry?

This is why So many Guys have to be schooled about how to choose a Wife.

That a lady is Employed, Hardworking, paying her bills herself etc. does not mean she is a wife Material. If that lady during Courtship does not FINANCIALLY COMMIT HERSELF TO THAT RELATIONSHIP JUST EXACTLY AS YOU ARE DOING, thereby showing to you that Money is her love language and or Because you are the Man, you are supposed to be the one paying for Every Expenses, Bro, you Must dump Her quickly.

Don't even try to persuade her to change at all. She as to be dumped by you if you don't want to enter one chance Marriage called Mirage.

Women with such mindset do not deserve to be the Mother of any of your Child because Marital union with them, 99% of the time always end up in Quick Divorce. She will Nag, curse the day she met you, compares you to are ex, cheats on you or worse force someones else pregnancy on you codedly etc.

So, the definition of My Money is Mine, Yours Is Ours is Terribly Heavy and Painful if you allowed it to be Practiced on you and life uncertainties happens.

This is why Courtship is the time for you to assess the Mindset of that lady you wish to Marry not the time for sexual encounters. No!!

Any lady who practically demonstrated to you that her love language is Money is readily or a Potential Open or coded community sperm depot (PROSTITUTE) and or "Our Wife"!!!

They hardly stay with you in times if Difficulties because THEY ARE NOT REALLY COMMITTED TO YOU AND THE UNION.
Run oo,the Future Matters!!

I totally agree with this statement if it is not coming from a man that wants to claim headship of his home:

"If that lady during courtship does not FINANCIALLY COMMIT HERSELF TO THAT RELATIONSHIP JUST EXACTLY AS YOU ARE DOING…"

If that is the case, then this person must be extremely delusional.

Let's analyse this like human beings with brains, not like people whose brains society has plucked out.

A woman would take care of the home, give birth to the children, take care of the children, while the man who claims he is the head of the home would still contribute equal finances as the woman and still expect her to submit. If it is not delusion, what do we want to call this?

Firstly, let me make this clear: I am not wife material. I don't ever want to be, and I have absolutely no interest in marriage.

You talk about love and respect like they are just things people enforce on themselves or tell their brains to feel. We are psychological beings. Majority of the time, the brain does the screening. You are not the only type of guy out there. You guys seem to have forgotten that women are not just fruits you pick from a tree; we do the selection as well.

I doubt any guy I have dated would describe me as disrespectful if asked. They would probably even comment that I am respectful. Even when we had disagreements, I didn't disrespect them. It wasn't that I was perfect, but I simply never dated any guy I couldn't respect.

Whoever feeds you controls you. It is easier for someone to start treating you less when they feel you are totally dependent on them.

You don't have to be as financially buoyant as your wife to deserve her respect. What matters is the way you present yourself; sometimes, presentation even speaks louder than wealth.

You shouldn't look up to your wife to sustain you daily, even if she is much more financially buoyant than you. She can decide on her own to gift you things or even contribute the largest amount towards the home, but don't demand it from her.

If you need her financial help, you can ask her to lend you money to set up yourself and pay it back, if possible, with interest. But don't allow her to view you as a dependent and still expect her to respect you.

We are psychological beings. We all need a reason to respect each other.

jaxxy:
I have just 3 questions.

1, Do u have an OCD?
2, Have u ever fallen inlove?
3 Do u believe in love?

I know for sure getting married and having kids was the dream of every little girl to get married once shes older. This was the beautiful age on innocence till she grows to a teen and young lady and her mind has been indoctrinated or corrupted by the cares of the world.

I study and read people and basic psychology so i can hazard a guess.

😂 My love usually turns into a short-lived romance.

My relationship pattern:
It goes from love/closeness to commitment, to wanting space, to noticing flaws, to attraction dropping, to emotional numbness, to ghosting the relationship, and finally, to relief.

Samantha125:
Not all of us are like that, I personally don't like avoidable face to face arguments because not only do I hate unnecessary noise, I also hate the idea of always having to explain myself to the same person with the intention of trying to convince them otherwise... I'm only a keyboard warrior on online debates like nairaland...

If I tell you something for the first time it falls on deaf ears, then I remind you again for the second time and you still prove to be stubborn about it, it's fine, I'll kindly keep quiet and take action in silence... I don't repeat myself thrice because even I myself can also be stubborn and on top of that, I hate begging... I prefer actions than words.

It is as if you took the words right out of my mouth.

If this were about advocating for adequate maternity leave, affordable childcare, parental leave or policies that genuinely make it easier for parents to raise children, that would be a completely different conversation.

But advocating for job restrictions on women because society needs women to fulfil a particular reproductive or caregiving role?

That is absolute nonsense.

I said nowhere that women have nothing to do with reproduction. I simply explained that reproduction is a matter of choice, not obligation.

Yes, giving birth and breastfeeding are biological realities that involve women. That is an obvious biological fact. But biology does not cancel a woman's freedom of choice.

A woman can decide to reproduce or not reproduce. She can decide to marry or not marry. She can decide to pursue a career or stay at home. Such decisions cannot simply be imposed on her because society has decided that it needs a particular outcome.

Freedom is having the right to choose your responsibilities and organise your life, not having the government assign you a life based on your sex.

My definition of freedom is humanity.

Government cannot enforce stay-at-home motherhood, but it can encourage it by providing attractive benefits and making it financially reasonable for families who actually want that arrangement.

In this age and time, it is simply not realistic to imagine the government waking up one morning and announcing that women are limited to certain levels of education or certain careers.

You would see a flood of women coming out to protest like never before 😂

Even if such an announcement were eventually revoked, women would become extremely wary of such a government.

Remember, politics is competitive. Such a politician would immediately be branded incompetent, lose a significant number of female allies and attract an army of enemies. There are women sitting at the top of the political, economic, academic and corporate chain too.

Every woman is not the "everyday woman" you encounter on the street. Some of them can spit quick fire 😂

Your tax comparison doesn't work either.

Paying taxes is a legal obligation imposed on citizens. Choosing to start a family is a voluntary personal decision, and refusing to start one attracts no punishment.

A working mother does not cease to be a mother because she has a job.

Working women have been finding ways around childcare for generations. Having children should not automatically mean that a woman has to sacrifice her career.

And children do not remain permanently attached to their mothers anyway. By the age of two, many children have already started some form of school, whether they have a stay-at-home mother or a working mother. So eventually, someone else will still be caring for that child for part of the day.

No, you are not debating roles, responsibilities and biology. What you are doing is pushing for women to be subjected to limitations under the excuse that society needs them to fulfil a specific goal.

Parental care is a child's need, but that does not give society or the government the right to take away women's economic rights, education or occupational freedom. These are fundamental rights of every human being.

The same freedom that great and noble women worked for, struggled for and, in some cases, fought tooth and nail to achieve cannot suddenly be thrown into the mud because society feels it is failing. Nonsense.

If society feels that the only way to achieve its goals is by limiting the dreams and ambitions of women, then let society fail.

"Pretense," you say? We do not have to pretend. We simply do not care enough about such societal failures to sacrifice our freedom in order to fix them.

Women have different dreams. While some may genuinely wish to become great stay-at-home mothers, others wish to become great career women.

Women are aeronautical engineers, doctors, pilots, chartered accountants, scientists, professors, entrepreneurs and so many other things.

So asking women to simply subject themselves to limitations because society has decided it needs a particular outcome is ridiculous.

Try using logic. Imagine having a dream so high, studying so hard, sacrificing so much and working for years to become the person you want to be, only to be told, "Society needs you to stay home."

What about our dreams? What about our feelings? Why shouldn't they matter?

I cannot even imagine myself having to wake up every day just to see a bunch of children playing, shouting, jumping around and simply being children while I do nothing productive. I would lose my sanity.

Every morning, waking up to that life could make me start wishing I never had to see another day. I am too ambitious for such a life. I have already calculated my future billions in my head 🤣

Women are not octopuses that have to die for their offspring to exist. The welfare, happiness, dreams and sanity of women matter just as much as the welfare of their offspring. Children need care, yes, but that is not a justification for restricting women's freedom to work.

If you have been a very attentive student, you won't have to disagree with my lecture. You don't solve society's problems by taking freedom away from one gender. You solve them by creating a society where people can have children, pursue their ambitions, build careers and organise their families without society or government deciding that one sex must sacrifice its future for everyone else.

You talk about consequences like almost every step in life doesn't come with consequences. In fact, I would advise any woman choosing to give in to the pressure of becoming a stay-at-home wife to put a price on it because of the severity of the possible consequences.

You need to understand the economic value of what you asked her to give up. She is giving up her income, career progression, professional network and financial independence just because just she produced offspring.

Love is beautiful, but nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. Many women have gone down that route believing, "My husband loves me, so I have nothing to worry about," only to discover years later that love alone does not protect one from abandonment, betrayal, financial hardship, the loss of a partner or a change in circumstances. A woman should not wake up ten years later with four children, no income, no savings of her own, an outdated CV and financial issues.

I am not saying women should enter marriage expecting it to fail. I am saying women should enter it with wisdom. If you are giving up your career, your income and your financial independence for the family, make sure you are not also giving up your financial security.

Be a wife. Be a mother. Build your family. But don't voluntarily make yourself economically powerless.

If you met your wife as a career woman, or while she was already pursuing that path, before marriage, and you did not discuss an expectation that she would become a stay-at-home mother, then her refusal to suddenly abandon her career because you now demand it is not selfish or disrespectful. In fact, the selfish one is you. You knew who she was. You knew what she wanted. You married her with those ambitions already existing, but all of a sudden you want to rewrite the terms.

Wow, so much confidence in ignorance. Your cry to the government is quite laughable 😂

Children have two parents. Any man who has a working wife and believes that children need 24-hour parental care should please do society the honour of staying at home to take care of the children. Society would very much appreciate your sacrifice 😂

We should be building a society where people can pursue both family and ambition according to their circumstances and choices, rather than restricting one gender simply to accommodate the expectations of another. A woman's life shouldn't have to begin and end with reproduction. She is an individual with the same right as any man to learn, work, build a career and make her own choices.

Every sane human being, especially those who have passed through the four walls of a school and encountered both males and females, can tell you that intelligence, wisdom and competence are individual qualities, not gender qualities. So that shouldn't even be up for debate.

Let me enlighten you a bit about government. Your local communities and worship centres might further fuel your ego, but don't expect such an absurd act from the government. Government is not a gender, and government is not a patriarchal organisation. It stands for humanity.

Before the government, every human being is equal. It does not exist to place the wants of one gender above another. Government exists to serve the people, which includes children, men and women, regardless of whether they are married or unmarried.

You did well in presenting marriage as a form of community service, but do not forget that community service is voluntary. Marriage remains a personal and voluntary choice. Don't expect it to be forced on people who object to it.

The beauty of life is the freedom of every human being to make their own choices.

essentialone1:
Life of a single mother

Lies.

Anyway, I have come to understand that marriage makes it easier for many people to nurture children properly.

For those of you who are sacrificing yourselves for the good of society, the nation and the world in general, may the good Lord bless your kind souls.

Yes, physical attraction comes first, it easily draws people to each other but let's not undermine the power of closeness.

Some environments, like schools, gyms and workplaces, where pride, status and social comparison can become less important, create the kind of closeness that can lead to genuine connection. Such environments simply make it easier for people to see each other as individuals rather than through the standards society has created. Shared goals, teamwork and repeated interaction can make people more familiar with one another.

Have you ever initially found a friend, classmate, schoolmate or colleague unattractive, only to become more attracted to them after spending a lot of time together? What attracts a person to someone can go beyond their physical appearance. It could be their confidence, neatness, personality, sense of humour, intelligence, kindness, the way they communicate, or simply the way they make you feel when you are around them.

Love is not simply about finding the most attractive or socially valued person. It is also about what happens between two people.

That is the part many people underestimate.

A twenty-year-old and a forty-year-old who become classmates, colleagues at work or gym buddies can become lovers because spending time together, sharing goals and experiencing life in the same environment can allow them to see each other beyond the age gap. Over time, familiarity, emotional connection and the qualities they discover in each other can create genuine romantic feelings.

There is a particular lady I know who is married to a plump man. She genuinely loves him and speaks very highly of him. She has supported him in losing weight by preparing healthy meals and helping him follow a diet plan.

I have seen many other couples who genuinely love each other despite one partner not fitting conventional standards of attractiveness, whereas many relationships based primarily on society's common checklist of what love should look like are struggling today because the people involved were never able to develop a natural bond. Instead, they are simply trying to fit themselves into the checklist of what love and relationships should look like.

The energy becomes forced and the actions become scripted because the genuine connection that allows natural affection, care and emotional attachment to develop simply isn't there.

Just know this when the feeling is genuine, many things become easier. If you constantly find yourself teaching your woman how to respect you, then perhaps there is no genuine connection between you two. Likewise, if you constantly have to teach your man how to care for you, it may be a sign that the emotional connection is lacking.

When people genuinely care about someone, there is often a natural desire to please them, make them happy and make them feel valued. When a bond is genuine, many things that people struggle to force begin to happen naturally.

Actually, "Good morning thanks" sounds too brief. That said, don't immediately conclude that she is ungrateful. Some people are naturally very brief over text, so her response alone doesn't necessarily tell you everything about how she felt.

Personally, I appreciate thoughtful gestures, whether they involve money or not. The last thing I am is an entitled person. If it were just a friend, I would genuinely appreciate the gesture, no matter how small the amount was.

But if it were my boyfriend, that would be a completely different situation. I'm an overthinker, so it would honestly be better for him not to send me money at all, or just send me airtime worth that amount, because a bf sending 15,000 naira directly into my account would have me wondering and overthinking everything. My expression of gratitude would probably just be mere formality because I would be too busy wondering what exactly prompted the transfer 😂. Unless he had a history of sending me meaningful amounts as gifts, I would definitely overthink it.

If I can remember correctly, I was still a minor when my first bank account was opened. From my first account to all the other accounts I have, I can't remember a time when a guy, whether a friend or a boyfriend, sent 15,000 naira into my account as a gift.

I won't be needing your services because I can beat him myself.

Here is how to beat a man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwfFXkPUu7g&utm

GenFunction:
lol
Low self esteem wan wound you
Why don’t u share ur air ticket fares too? 😂
Comedian

😂 If this is low self-esteem, then I pray I never recover. May the abundance that attracts this kind of mockery continue to overflow.

And thanks for the compliment. I'm glad I really cracked you up this much 😂🤣🤣

AntiChristian:
Are you sure Jesus is a mere lily of the valley?

When a woman says to her husband, "You are the sugar in my tea," does that mean her husband is literally sugar? 😂

"Lily of the Valley" conveys His beauty and preciousness to believers. 🌸

I just noticed the boy in the background. He doesn't look mature at all. I hope he isn't a minor, because if he is, that would be a very serious concern.

She is right, age is not maturity. There are a lot of old fools.

AntiChristian:
How is that the religion of Jesus's brothers?
The Jesus in the Qur'an is not a son of God.

It is only in Christianity that God pikins dey come to earth for copulation till they impregnate humans!

I have found a friend in Jesus,
He's everything to me,
He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul;
The "Lily of the Valley," in Him alone I see,
all I need to cleanse and make me fully whole.
In sorrow He's my comfort, in trouble He's my stay,
He tells me every care on Him to roll;
He's the "Lily of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star,"
He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul.

He all my grief has taken, and all my sorrows borne,
in temptation He's my strong and mighty tower;
I have all for Him forsaken, and all my idols torn
from my heart, and now He keeps me by His power.
Though all the world forsake me, and Satan tempt me sore,
through Jesus I shall safely reach the goal;
He's the "Lily of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star,"
He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul.

He will never, never leave me, nor yet forsake me here,
while I live by faith and do His blessed will;
A wall of fire about me, I've nothing now to fear,
with His manna He my hungry soul shall fill.
Then sweeping up to glory, to see His blessed face,
where rivers of delight shall ever roll;
He's the "Lily of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star,"
He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul.

Those of you writing superstories in the comments, you are just deceiving yourselves. 😂

There is no guarantee that a particular couple will grow old together. A wife may not want a divorce, but her husband may eventually want one or do things that lead to one.

A wife can be loving, respectful, faithful, and do everything right, yet still end up with a husband who treats her badly. The same can happen to a man. One person's character and choices can completely change the life of the other person.

One very gentle, calm, and decent lady I know contracted an incurable illness through her husband. I couldn't even hold back my tears when I heard about it. She didn't even want to get married in the first place, but eventually did because of societal pressure.

When her husband was misbehaving and she confided in some people, they told her to be patient, that the devil wanted to destroy her family. Eventually, after everything that happened, they got divorced and went their separate ways.

This is not to say that every marriage is like this. Some marriages are genuinely healthy, beautiful, and peaceful. This is simply to point out that every decision we make in life comes with some level of risk. Life is simply not certain, and that is something people need to acknowledge when talking about marriage.

If we are even being honest and comparing the risks of getting married with the risks of remaining unmarried, marriage involves greater risks because your partner's problems can automatically become your problems. You are not only choosing a person; in many ways, you are also accepting the realities that come with that person.

jaxxy:
While beauty is in the eyes of the beholder there are some who are generally considered beautiful and that lile any other thing in life has advatages and disadvantages.

Whatever the case the greatest disservice a person can do to ones self is not knowing what u want or know what u want and not following through on trying to acheive it.

Make no mistake 98% of girls/women desire to to get married and while those not married will act like its ok deep down its definitely not ok but some adjust to realality rather than pusure happiness. They pursure something else to fill in the gap but that is not the original goal or aspiration.

The problem with girls the op mentioned is not that they dont know what they want, its deciding on who they want and if they can spot who they actually want.

Where did you get your 98% women data from? 😂 You can't simply put almost every woman under one umbrella. Feelings are not general or universal. Some women just love their personal space and peace. Marriage may be beautiful for some people, but that doesn't mean almost everybody wants it. People are different. What gives one person happiness may feel like a loss of freedom to another person.

There are many things that seem completely normal to many people, but I personally see them as an infringement on my privacy 😂 Immediately someone dips their spoon into my food while I'm eating, I lose interest in that food. I will just stylishly leave it for the person.

If someone touches my toothbrush, even if they only picked it up, I cannot use that toothbrush again. I'm throwing it away.

If someone enters the bathroom even one minute before I want to bathe, even if it is just to pick up something, once I enter the bathroom, any water I have already fetched, I'm throwing it away and fetching another one from the tap.

And I love seeing my things exactly the way I arranged them.

There are women that are simply not interested in compromising their freedom for companionship. Marriage is heavily hyped. Honestly, society is largely the one pressuring many people to get married, both men and women 😂🤣🤣

BigBashiru:
It amazes me the ignorance concerning the female folk some guys on nairaland exhibit. Guys please note the following salient points:

1. No woman wants to get married early out of their own free will including in the North. Voluntarily (without religion or society pressure), women only want marriage when they are older and unattractive - ideally from 28+. Those that get married before then feel they settled too early, have high cheat rates etc. Effectively, women want to maximize their vital currency (youth and fertility).

2. Women dont actually like marriage - this message is for all the guys always talking marry marry marry on nairaland - they only marry and remain married if they are benefiting something and the marriage continues to meet their selfish interests.

3. Point number 2 explains why women who have money often choose to get divorced or become baby mamas.

4. Born again type guys with "no sex before marriage" mantra are going to get disapppointed. The question is who were the girls sleeping with before they decided to get married. It surely isnt the husband. So the husband gets a bad deal - sexual and financial comparison with exes (including wen she was 18 guys used to book flights for her) - all the husband gets is baggage from her past. So all of una were dey talk marry marry - marriage institution is in need of serious reforms and renegotiation.

The research question is why have women adopted the positions above? Nairalanders more knowledgable than me should please shed more light.

Not getting married is not necessarily selfish; in fact, it is not a bad thing. Are you aware that there are notable men and scientists throughout history who never got married? Such a decision is common among people who greatly value a drama-free life. It is not only women who are avoiding marriage; some men are also seriously choosing to remain unmarried.

There comes a point in life when all you crave is peace. Do you know what it feels like to wake up every morning and go to bed every night in complete peace? You have your own space; no shouting, no anger, no hatred, just you and your peace.

You would hardly find me quarrelling with people. If I notice tension or conflict in an environment, I simply walk away. But with marriage, it isn't that simple. So I prefer to remain completely unmarried. I don't even like the idea of divorce.

And regarding your claim that wealthy women prefer to be divorced or become single mothers, most of them did not plan it that way. Divorce is not something people simply throw around. Marriages don't just break down because a woman is wealthy.

Sometimes, these women have genuinely tried and invested so much of their time, energy, and effort into making the marriage work before eventually reaching the point of divorce. There are men that also genuinely tried, invested their time and energy into their marriages, and eventually reached a point where divorce became the only option they felt they had. It is not always easy for two people to adjust to each other. Both people have their own habits, values, expectations, and ways of doing things.

Ofonimehekanem:
You are not sincere with your character. What brought or cause the beating?.Is the guy in question insane or you brought out the animal in him?

What kind of question is this? This is part of the reason the institution of marriage is considered bad. Some men have simply been wired to blame women for everything that goes wrong. What happened to self-control? What right does he even have to hit her? Is she a child or what?

Most guys who hit their partners are simply toxic. Many of them are just fond of manufacturing excuses for their behaviour. Suddenly, they could say she provoked or disrespected them.

And even when they cannot establish that the lady actually did anything wrong, there will still be one flimsy excuse or another: they had a bad day, they were going through some life challenges, or something else.

A woman is not a therapy centre. If you are angry, walk away. If you are frustrated, communicate. If you cannot control your emotions, seek help. Hitting another person is not an acceptable way to deal with anger, frustration, jealousy, insecurity, or conflict.

I still remember how a guy reacted badly to me, and after he realized he was wrong, he excused himself by claiming that he had bipolar disorder.

No matter how calm, patient, or easygoing a woman is, it won't stop a toxic man from being toxic.

A person's behaviour is ultimately their own responsibility. Let's stop encouraging bad behaviour.

GenFunction:
In a bid to sound woke people sound stupid.
Pls dont sound like that girl.
Who said she shouldn’t set standards?
Jus be wise and sensible
Comprehension is a big deal for you.

You are not the standard of wisdo,m, so why are you emphasising be wise and sensible like it is your thing? 😂🤣 I should have noticed there was an underlying problem when you insisted that I have low self-esteem simply because I posted a picture of two plates of Chicken Republic rice and a plate of turkey pepper soup I bought from a vendor. Even after I explained that I was only illustrating that some of us eat out, you still held on to your assumption.

Something that, even sometimes, I buy breakfast - dinner worth up to 40,000 naira from Chicken Republic in one day for myself and my pets. Life doesn't revolve around your assumptions and feelings. Sometimes, take correction 😂🤣🤣

You never can tell this lady you referred to as a "tailor apprentice" might even be doing better in life than you 😂

GenFunction:
lol,so ‘comprehension’ na big word for your side.
You get low self esteem na why u rush post picture of food,only God know Wetin u wan prove 😂
U go call ‘low self esteem ‘ big word now

Okay, accepted. I posted the food because of low self-esteem. I just wanted you to know that I have food in my house.

Now, no more distractions, let's go back to the lesson. Say after me:

"Every lady has the right to set standards that protect her peace, regardless of her financial situation or occupation." 😂🤣🤣

The difficulty in many relationships isn't that people don't love each other; it is that they have different ideas about what love and respect require.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSq24u42X/

GenFunction:
I have seen comprehension and understanding is your major challenge.
If you refer to being dirty,not helpful as setting standards,na em be say u cant be helped
I didn’t belittle her,just be realistic ehn

Another long epistle 😂

You keep saying comprehension is a challenge, as if you are even using big words 😂. What exactly is in your comment that is so difficult to understand?

I responded to what you actually wrote. You called her a tailor apprentice and mocked her for being "hungry for" her standard, while also calling her "broke," as if being tailor means she is not allowed to set her own standards. She is free to decide that she will not cook or clean for her boyfriend, just as you are free to believe that a woman should cook and clean for her boyfriend. But if your actual concern was her decision not to help her boyfriend with chores, you could have addressed that directly without mocking her occupation or financial situation.

I remember a case of a university dropout here in Nigeria who eventually employed the best graduating student from the set he was supposed to graduate with, offering a salary of 500,000 naira at the time. People had seen him as a dullard because he had dropped out after struggling academically, but he saw himself differently. Instead of returning home to tell his parents he had dropped out, he stayed back and used the school fees his struggling parents sent him, as they believed he was still in school, to start selling items and foodstuffs to students. While others were in class, he was doing business, and he eventually grew to the point of establishing companies.

The lesson is simple: someone's current situation does not tell you what they are capable of becoming. Let's learn to encourage legitimate startups and businesses rather than mock people who are still building themselves.

Respect to those still hustling legitimately. Almost half of the Nigerian population, especially young men, have lost interest in legitimate businesses and resort to other means of making money.

You can decide that she isn't the kind of woman you want without using her occupation to mock her.

GenFunction:
Learn to read and understand before quoting with this your long epistle.
I was talking about her not helping out with chores,you come Dey type all this one’s 😂
Abeg why u snap that food send to me?
U wan show me say tailors Dey chill?
E be like u go get low self esteem o

Gbam! I am not even a tailor, but I run a fashion designing school located on Oba Elegushi Avenue, Ikate, Lekki, Lagos, Nigeria 😂

The moment you belittle one woman you have belittled every woman. You took it upon yourself to belittle a woman simply because you felt she had no right to set standards, but you are wrong. I am not speaking to just you but every male coward that do such. Every female child must understand that she has the right to make her own decisions, regardless of her class or background.

That is just Chicken Republic rice and turkey pepper soup; literally the last thing I would brag about. 😂 I posted it simply to illustrate that some of us outsource our meals. But you were too busy looking for something to mock that you completely missed the point.