₦airaland Forum

These Americans can be crazy sometimes, dont be surprised if he is not preparing for any movie. The nigga might just say he prefers himself like that and everyone should fvck off

This virus is just gonna ruin this years football season all over, this is getting serious.

Just set an age when you intend to get married, before this time achieve some financial flexibility according to the means you can live with.

Mr A's level might be having at least 200k in savings and a one bed room house before marriage.

Mr B's level might be having at least 3 million naira savings, a car and a 3 bedroom flat before marriage.

Just pick a level of reach you know can fit your life.

Lastly, don't listen to those ignorant folks who would tell you that just marry now, other things would come later, alot of marriage folks are suffering in silence and hiding under the useless pride of being called "married".

Shut up Nigga!
One thing I hail Tacha for was turning down this nigga's advances in the house

Kondomatic:
I don't know why we guys always complain about irrelevant things like this.
Define your relationship from the beginning so you won't have problem later. It's that simple.

If you want sex then look for a lady that wants sex. There are millions of them out there.

Your woman wrapper is a thousand yards long, I guess you are seeking a pat on the back from Nairaland girls with this clueless comment, what a pity

Girls need to get a job please!

This is a counter thread to this one - https://www.nairaland.com/3836851/girls-how-easy-it-totally

This was the first statement by the female OP- Cinderella5 in response to her thread, she said; "In my opinion, a girl loving a broke guy is like a guy loving an ugly girl, it's tough".

Here is my own response (of which I know I speak for many guys) to this thread: For us guys, its not easy dating broke girls, because they have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to offer!

And don't even go there with the cliche that "women have nothing else to offer than sex," Even sex in no privilege offered by a lady, sex is offered by both parties (man and woman) so that "offering" is not to designated to a woman as the one doing the 'honour" or favour, no one is doing another the honour, both are engaging in a mutual act enjoyed by both parties.

Now when I see girls making a lot of noise about broke guy this and that, I can tell you something about these set of leeches(girls):

-They are students who have no source of legal hard earned income (Don't classify your runs girl hustle as legal income)
-They are mostly unemployed (Don't classify your runs girl hustle as a legal job)
-They are most definitely from poor families

So my question now is that, why would you classify a man as broke when you yourself is "broker" (pardon my neologism) than him? When you have nothing to show forth financially speaking yourself, when your family is not wealthy either, so why do you girls do that? Is that not like a kettle calling the pot black? Heck!

Where I work, the high earning ladies never rant about "broke guys this and that," But you go on Facebook and Nairaland and see these University students and unemployed broke girls having the effrontery to call guys broke.

My parting message to broke ladies, please get rich first then we can accept your statements concerning broke guys.

Happy weekend you all!

This reminds me of those HR communication tests we used to have way back in training school back then. Let me give it a try:

Dear applicant,

We appreciate your desire to work for our organisation. Thank you for the interest you have shown in our organisation and the time and effort you spent in your findings and applying.

As correctly stated by you, we lost our accountant recently but I'm sorry to inform you that we do not intend to recruit publicly for the position; as an in-house replacement exercise has been duly completed which was geared at saving time and cost.

We however have saved your curriculum vitae in our database of applications and anytime a position comes up which suits your competences and qualifications you would be duly contacted by us.

Kind regards,

Mr. John Doe,
Human Resources Manager,
ABC Ltd.,
Nigeria.

I commend his courage to talk back at the police but is it only me who thinks that in Nigerian pidgin semantics, "oboy" doesn't necessarily mean "a boy" or "small boy", its just a general term to relate to a man, and most times its used on a man whom you are friendly or close to.

I'd like to close off this thread by Congratulating Chelsea FC on their 6th EPL trophy; a feat Arsenal FC had long achieved already over 70 years ago!

Oh wait, maybe Chelsea wasn't a football club in England 70 years ago

History can never be forgotten.
THE LIST....
WINNERS - RUNNERS UP
Man Utd. 20 - 15
Liverpool. 18 - 13
Arsenal. 13 - 9
Everton. 9 - 7
Aston Villa. 7 - 10
Sunderland 6 - 5
Chelsea. 6 - 4
ManCity. 4 - 2

Who even wants to stress himself over a girl? Tell a Nigerian girl you love her; you have started owing her money automatically!

For guys, here are some "Bro Codes" that define true friendship:

- Bros before hoes – A ‘hoe’ is defined as any woman that is not your wife or any other direct family.

- Whether a Bro is into sports or not, a Bro picks a team and supports them until his dying breath.

- If a bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when fully grown.

- A bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his bro’s are doing it as well.

- Single Bro’s always try and sit with one seat between them in case any ladies come along that don’t have anywhere to sit.

- If his girlfriend asks you about where he is, you know nothing – nothing at all. Keep his whereabouts to yourself, hang up and warn him.

- If a bro is unable to pitch in money for beer,
other bros shall cover him. He shall not be deprived of the holy potion.

- A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among
Bros

- A bro doesn’t get lost, he merely finds an alternate route.

- A Bro ALWAYS enhances another Bro’s job description when introducing him.

- If you catch your bro’s girl cheating you immediately tell your bro regardless of any possible shitstorm that may arise.

- If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something out of line, the other shall not expect him to take it back or apologize, that’s what women do.

- A bro never sends a birthday card to another bro.

- A Bro shows up at another Bro’s party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink.

- The mum of a Bro is always off-limits.

- When Bro’s hug, they do not close their eyes and/or rest their head on the other bro’s shoulder.

- If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his Facebook/Twitter the Bro will sign out for him, but only after many many humiliating updates.

- ALL conversations between bros are subject to “bro to bro confidentiality”

- A Bro never lets his broken hearted Bro drink alone.

- A Bro shall not damage another Bros’ chances to score with a chick.

- A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion.

- A bro never gives another bro the silent treatment.

- A bro may only ever stop a fellow bro from hooking up with a girl if, and only if, he is 100% sure that said girl is in fact a dude.

- There are four things about your bro that you must respect in all conditions – his house, his parents, his girlfriend and most important of all, his car.

- You just cannot get involved with your bro's mother or sister. It is one of the biggest violations of the bro code. A step mother whom he hates is still okay.

- You will do whatever it takes to make your bro look like a superhero in front of others. If he is bad at a certain sport you're playing, you play weak and save his image.

- When a Bro wants to do something stupid, first you try to talk the Bro out of it. If they still want to do it, you film it.

- A Bro doesn't un-friend his Bro on Facebook.

- A Bro DOES NOT choose his own nickname. A nickname is bestowed upon you by your fellow bros, either as a punishment or a reward for epic deeds.

- A Bro of a Bro is a Bro to you.

- Bros take care of their fellow bros when they have too much to drink.

- A bro never shows or tells a crazy chick where his fellow bro lives or stays, only that bro can subject himself to that grief.

- When a Bro has a kid, his Bros become honorary uncles.

- Bro’s don’t pout for photos.

- When Bro’s hug, they do not close their eyes and/or rest their head on the other bro’s shoulder.

-If you catch your bro’s girl cheating you immediately tell your bro regardless of any possible shitstorm that may arise.

- Bro’s don’t share details about their “little bro” with other bro’s.

- Single Bro’s always try and sit with one seat between them in case any ladies come along that don’t have anywhere to sit.

- A bro cannot give another bro a Teddy bear.

- When playing or responding to a prank, a Bro’s car is off limits.

- If a bro dies while lifting weights, the other bro shall add more weight to the bar before dialling 911

- At a Bro’s funeral, all other bro’s toast with the deceased’s drink of choice

BRO CODE ROCKS!

First of all, the most important question is: Is he/she listed as a next of kin on any of his/her parents bank accounts?

If no, he/she should forget the money, if yes, proceed with these to the bank:

-Parents Death certificate
-Letter to the bank manager stating your order that his/her parents funds be transferred to him/her
-Valid identification of yourself

haymekus:
Total goals in la liga:

Messi : 29

Ronaldo : 19

VERY WRONG!!

The King(Messi) has 31 GOALS and not 29!

Even in Champions league Messi is still the highest goal scorer despite Barcelona being out.

Did Ronaldo play today? he couldn't even
score his famous tap in goals!

Great El Clasico ... too bad Neymar and Ronaldo didn't play

There were 81,045 spectators watching the match
between Barcelona and Real in the stadium; 81,044 other spectators plus Cristiano Ronaldo

1: On boxing day, Chelsea lost!

2: New year day, Chelsea lost!!

3: Val day, Chelsea lost!!!

4: April fools day, Chelsea lost!!!!

5: Easter day (today), Chelsea lost yet again!!!!!

This is serious! Does it mean Chelsea hates holidays and celebrations?

rayralph:
Every tom and harry with the basic cryptographic know-how should be able to calculate the algorithm used for the hardware token key combination.


NOTE: NO SYSTEM IS SAFE !!!!

Dude, did anyone state that any system is safe? So that point is inconsequential here!

And also, I'm still trying to comprehend the rational behind your rebuttal concerning hard token devices, its just like saying: "Any Tom, Dick and Harry with basic car alarm wiring know-how should be able to disable a car alarm system", so does that mean because of this fact having car alarms isn't a top security feature?


Its known the world over that hard tokens are a more secured tool and offer added security to transactions so I don't get your point here.
Or do you just feel good basking in the ambience of feeling "smart" that you just rebutted something?

Handsomebeing:
FYI I have stopped using my quickteller because it doesn't request for OTP anymore. I've blocked all online channel to that particular account. I can't shout.

@ Handsomebeing, for QuickTeller, if you have a hard token device, it would request you enter your ATM pin plus your token pin as your OTP, that's even more secure than OTP through your phone number.

Everyone should go get a hard Token device from your bank.

When you have a token device, for 99% of all online transactions I have tried out, you would need to input your ATM PIN(4 digits) plus TOKEN PIN(6 digits) as your 10 digits OTP gateway, it would be rare for someone to know your ATM PIN and still have access to your token device, someone targeting you can easily get access to your phone for phone OTP purposes but would rarely know you have a hard token device. And I hope you know token pin changes every 30 seconds.

The only thing Owerri is known for its the rise of prostitution and cultism.

Especially prostitution, young and old are into it, you would be surprised to see a woman as old as your mum touching you and saying she wants to spend a night with you, I was shocked when I experienced this!

Then the young ladies are so into it too. The University students take it as a prerequisite course or something

The boom business in Owerri is building and owing hotels/motels and you should know why this is so.

For me, the place to be in Igboland is Enugu!

Perfect city! Affordable, clean place, nice road network, efficient inter-city transportation, well-planned city.

The first time I visited Enugu I was wowed! A 5k hotel in Enugu is up the standard of a 15K hotel in Abuja/Port Harcourt/Lagos.

And if your eyes love to see those fair and lovely skinned beautiful Igbo girls with natural beauty, you would see a lot of them in Enugu as well

Enugu still has lots of fun place to go to, I never knew they even had GAME stores in Enugu.

Enugu rocks! I would go there every weekend if I can!

While at the tail-end of University, I was doing online content creation for a foreign based website targeted for Africans back then in 2009, I remember that was the first money I made by myself, it was $140, I felt so elated!

I was sent the money using MoneyGram, back then money gram paid in dollars, I got the raw dollar cash from Fidelity bank and was feeling so cool, wanted to go to Aboki (Bureau de Change) and change it but was sceptical about them swindling me of my $140 ... so I just walked into Eco Bank and used official dollar to Naira rates and changed it, the bank official was telling me I would get more with the Bureau de Change folks but I said I don't trust them and I was very okay with the N21,500 worth in Naira I remember back then my school fees was roughly 22K for the whole session, so imagine how I felt having the value of my school fees as my own money that I worked for, flexing was on point!

God has been faithful, we are moving ahead and making great strides, please don't give up, hustle hard and be diligent in whatever you do, the breakthrough would ALWAYS come!

While at the tail-end of University, I was doing online content creation/creative writing for a foreign based website targeted for Africans back then in 2009, I remember that was the first money I made by myself, it was $140, I felt so elated!

I was sent the money using MoneyGram, back then money gram paid in dollars, I got the raw dollar cash from Fidelity bank and was feeling so cool, wanted to go to Aboki (Bureau de Change) and change it but was sceptical about them swindling me of my $140 ... so I just walked into Eco Bank and used official dollar to Naira rates and changed it, the bank official was telling me I would get more with the Bureau de Change folks but I said I don't trust them and I was very okay with the N21,500 worth in Naira I remember back then my school fees was roughly 22K for the whole session, so imagine how I felt having the value of my school fees as my own money that I worked for, flexing was on point!

God has been faithful, we are moving ahead and making great strides, please don't give up, hustle hard and be diligent in whatever you do, the breakthrough would ALWAYS come!

Whatever happens in this match would favour Arsenal fans or the entertainment level of the EPL

If Chelsea beats City, its all better for Arsenal as Arsenal tries to do catch up with a win over West Ham

If City beats Chelsea, then it would make the title race more interesting because Chelsea would be just 4 points ahead of Spurs; which Spurs should definitely their game at hand.

Its funny that we are silent about the fact that Dino is an academic fraud in two other proven cases when he claimed he is a graduate of Harvard and London School of Economics as seen on his various profiles on social media, these aforementioned schools all denied he is NOT a graduate of their institutions, yet that is being swept under the rug.

An academic fraud as a legislator and you think our country would move forward with people like this? How pathetic!

What a country!

Its not strange to have price increase for services offered but my issue with DSTV is their unapologetic stand NOT to activate pay as you watch in Nigeria as it is in South Africa.
They know they are robbing Nigerians and that free money is sacred to them.

Our legislators who are supposed to force these thieves called DSTV to implement such can't, what do you expect when themselves are certificate forgers and corrupt politicians, what a country!

For me, in respect to my over 15 years of experience with handling female boobs, I can authoritatively tell you that 99% of girls boobs are not the same in size. One is always a little bigger. Especially the girl's left sided boob
.

Don't ask me how I got the experience please

I wouldn't bore you with the usual "she is a nice lady to tell you the truth" bla bla bla and all.
True, she is a nice person to tell you but I would tackle this issue from your aspect, 80% of men can't stand remembering being aware of someone who had sexual contact with a woman they truly have feelings for let alone a lady that would be your wife soon.

Can you live with remembering this fact? If you are strong enough to delete that from your mind its ok, but if you can't please pause things, because the person she had this illicit affair with is not just a random guy but a cousin, her family member whom you would surely have to cross paths with one time or another.

So this boils down on you, if you belong to the few percent of men who delete such from their minds easily then you can go ahead with her, if your natural temperament is not suited for such then have a rethink.

First of all let's understand the meaning of the word "vagabond"

Vagabond;
1. n. A person with no fixed home
2. n. An idle wandering beggar of thief

Madam does any of these meanings of that word have any correlation with you? If none has then please disregard hubby's rant as gibberish and move on.

Thank God you have resurrected them from "being dead" as you claimed

HungerBAD:
Loser.

Exactly why ladies should never ever, no matter the story he says,or how in love you are with him or even how convincing he is.

Alllow him take nude pictures of you or make you send one to him, or make a tape with him.

Only girls with inferiority complex send nude pictures.

Ladies should also be careful who they date. Please and please it is 2017,and I advice ladies to take their time to look for somebody mature in " Mentality" to date,and not some kid.

When a lady really loves a man she can do anything at that moment so most of your advise would not hold water.

I remember an old girlfriend of mine who saw a raunchy but not an unclad photo of a girl in my phone, the girl was just a friend though, she(my girlfriend) then later sent me some of her nudes, I just laughed though, and asked why she sent it, she said she felt insecure that the other girl sent me a raunchy photo and wanted to make me know she is the queen by sending me her nudes, just imagine that type of reasoning, so just know that when a woman is in love, common sense and logic are rarely in her dictionary.