₦airaland Forum

SirWarlock:
Thats the thing cos no one knows what manner of symptoms that will manifest. If people had serious symptoms before they recover maybe a few people would take it more seriously.

Also, the symptoms are quite similar to flu symptoms and winter is here. People's immune systems are already weakening because of cold and rainy conditions so they may be more vulnerable to covid 19. If someone has the flu here, people just say it's corona and move on Lol

TMKsouth:
Goodness! Even if it's mild corona it would still scare the boots off me considering it could go either way. A lot of my relatives are older than 60 so that concerns me too.

Are the people in your community facing any stigma ?

Nope, kallits don't take anything seriously. Very chilled about this thing. People are even complaining about covid19 positive people walking around like it's nothing. It's very disappointing... And ever since they started drinking, it's gotten worse. Now they really don't give a damn

TMKsouth:
Yeah, I also don't know any infected people around me here in SA but a famous News anchor today revealed he's got it. So it's hitting home.

I live in one of the hotspots and I know several people who have it. luckily most people don't have serious symptoms. I do know 1 person who died though. But I think most people don't care because they aren't really getting seriously sick.

The problem is that most people think that black and colored people in SA had nothing. The actual reason black people (all POCs) in SA don't praise white people is because we know most of what they built wasn't really built by them. Land was taken away from people. This wasn't empty barren land but these were already farms. White people came here and didn't know anything about farming in the climate. They took away the local land and made them work for them while paying them with alcohol. The white farmer had no expertise, they exploited the black people, Khoisan, malay, indians etc and claimed all those achievements for themselves.

Schools were built by black people and it was destroyed by the white rule. Black people had their houses taken away in many areas that you now think was developed by whites. Black people created so many things for themselves that were absolutely destroyed by the apartheid government. So we know our worth. We therefore get very upset when other black people claim whites developed South Africa.

I'm sorry that things aren't working out in Nigeria and I truly wish you the best, but you should blame yourselves for the lack of good governance and not the entire black race.

LeSudAfricaine:
Minxie, I got bored with this forum because of exactly that, I've been on a long hatius. Nigerians have this love affair with white people and it's a toxic one. Imagine the likes of Rwanda are picking up pieces and fixing up they are country after years of wars but Nigerians see re-colonisation as a solution to their problems. it's a shame really

It truly is a shame. Here the rest of us are trying to make Africa better so that we can respect ourselves but on this forum it's like a whole different story. I tell you, a white person can come here to get his/her ego boosted because this whole platform is a shrine to white people. Meanwhile, here we are protesting for an increase in minimum wage because our fellow Africans are being exploited for cheap labour.

LeSudAfricaine:
You have never been to South Africa my guy that much I can tell you, if you think coloured people are the reason why SA is what it is..you just fabricated that so as not to give the so-called "black South Africans" their due...you all do that in this forum

I also don't understand why people here are so quick to attribute all advancement to white people. If only they knew how their people get exploited by the white people here, they wouldn't be so quick to praise them.

I've noticed that here on nairaland they always speak ill of black people. As a colored I can honestly say that the black government has done way more than the white government ever did. If some other black people can't see themselves as capable, that's their own problem. Don't give in to the provoking comments. They want you to say something wrong so that they can tag you as xenophobic. Don't fall for it

Norman4real:
Those other movements you talk about are not given as much attention as this BLM movement. I would be inclined to support a movement that was trying to fight issues like illiteracy, divorce/single parenthood, gangs/organised crime, drug use and sexual promiscuity. Coz I believe these are issues that are at the very core of most of the problems but yet surprisingly these issues are greatly ignored, in fact they are celebrated and even encouraged within some communities.
I stand by my view that the BLM is a total fraud and only serves to exploit people's emotions and push political agendas... Not because the issues they protest are irrelevant, but because they are unnecessarily exaggerated.

Some of those issues... sexual promiscuity and divorce/single parenthood...You mean we should condemn them?

Listen, if you wanna start a movement against illiteracy and give it emphasis, go ahead. It's a problem where you live maybe but the rest of us already addressed those issues with deep emphasis way back then so it is no longer priority number one. To us, BLM is priority number 1. So you campaign for what you think is important and we will do the same for ourselves. But here's the diffrence: if you campaign for better literacy, we won't rain on your parade. We won't call it a fraudulent movement and we won't call you lazy. In fact, we will support your cause because we recognize the problem. It may not affect us, but that doesn't mean it isn't a problem. Get it?
Just because you don't see the racism, doesnt mean it's not there. We all have our different struggles. Who are you to tell African Americans that their struggle is insignificant? If Nigerians today protest against boko haram or against poverty, i bet you the world will join that movement because we know it is important to you. Another thing, movements need publicity for them to be able to change the system. What kind of movement is gonna be effective if it takes place in someone's basement? The more people, the better. Ever wondered why protests in Nigeria are less effective? No publicity, less people. Less people, less change. Less change, more oppression.

Norman4real:
Hmmmmm, you completely misrepresented my statement. I'm not saying that you should leave America for whites and settle elsewhere, I'm saying that Blacks in America should work to better their own communities because they can. I fail to see where these inequalities that you guys speak of actually exist. The more you claim yourselves to be victims of non-issues then you'll continue to see African American communities plunge further in decay. I don't understand how you can complain about black people being killed by whites while completely ignoring the fact that the rate at which blacks kill each other is like a hundred times worse. Even if you somehow managed to bring the number of racially motivated killings to zero, you've only solved 5% of the problem. And what much of an impact does that make in trying to solve the overall problems? At what point will you turn to each other and reflect on your own inadequacies.

I understand your point but just because we solve one problem doesn't mean that we are turning a blind eye to the other problems. We are not solely focusing on white on black violence. If you look around you, there are many movements dedicated to various injustices. Just because I advocate for equality and a change in the world order doesn't mean I neglect to advocate for the development of the disadvantage. But the truth is that you can't simply build a bridge and get over what happened in the past because what happened then is still happening now. If you fail to see these injustices I will invite you to spend a week in my shoes. The thing with many Africans is that you have lived amongst only yourselves for such a long time that you've gotten accustomed to only seeing your own suffering. If someone isn't suffering the way you are suffering, they aren't suffering. You have never been made to feel inferior and unwelcome because you grew up with people who were all the same. You weren't the "other". You were the norm.

People who grew up with white people dominating their societies grew up to feel like they are insignificant. Have you ever felt so small and out of place? Racism goes beyond just things that you can see. Decoloniality goes beyond just breaking physical barriers. It's deeper because coloniality involves mind and body.

So again, BLM is one movement out of many. It is the movement that addresses the foundation of our problems. There are other movements, plans and policies being implemented to address the other challenges we face. Please read more about it. We aren't doing nothing. I can really say myself and my country aren't doing nothing.

Norman4real:
I think the real problem is Africans like you that think just because we share a skin colour then our minds should be adjusted to think the same way. If you feel the system is unfair to you then the best solution is to create one of your own that will benefit your own society, but will you do that? NO! You'd rather spend your efforts in protesting and pleading with the white man to be granted "equality" despite the fact that it already exists. You'd rather live in your own fantasy world in which you're the poor victims of millennia-old injustices. FYI, the BLM activism does not even care about your so called black lives... It's a political movement aimed at gaining power and creating cultural shifts. You're just the pawns in the grand scheme... Rather than work to actually improve black communities they focus their efforts on enacting revenge and reinforcing dangerous racial stereotypes.

The biggest mistake you make is thinking that the only thing we share is skin colour.

Yes I'd rather advocate for equality in this world that we all SHARE than create a separate one. You may find solace in running away from things but I don't. I'd rather demand what's right than accept what's wrong all in the name of stroking my ego as a hard worker. You can continue to live your life. Nobody is stopping you, i bet some white supremacists will be so proud of you.

Btw African Americans, Namibians, Ghanaians, Kenyans, South Africans etc are all working towards rebuilding themselves despite their disadvantage. another thing, in a country like the USA, created by all races, why should African Americans create a different world? They have the right to that land and they have a right to form part of that society. They are not visitors to a white only country. It's not a case of "my house, my rules " It is their house! they should be allowed to make the rules too!

If you feel content in your comfort zone, go ahead with it. Myself and others will forge ahead. Rest your head on your pillow while you think about the fact that your white counterpart is earning more than you for the same job just because he is white. Rest, close your eyes, sleep tight.

khia:
1. You are a damn liar. There are sooo many unsuccessful Africans living in poverty in the US living on the welfare system and other government aide. They are ashamed to go back to their country because of their failures. Not to mention the ones locked up in prison for fraud, selling drugs, prostitution rings.

2. I don't know if you are a liar, ignorant or just plain dumb. Only blacks lives in poverty? What about the many poor whites living in the white slums of America called Trailer Parks? What about the poor Hispanics living in the ghettos called Barrios? What about the poor Italian neighborhoods?. You are beyond reality.

3. The only reason African immigrants don't complain about the injustice in this country is you are cowards, you are afraid of being deported. You will complain and disrespect Black Americans while they are fighting for a better America and you do nothing but slander them and reap the benefits.

4. What's going on in America today is the same thing that went on in the 60's, Black Americans on the frontlines fighting for your right to migrate to this God forsaken country, something your ungrateful ass has proven to be undeserving of. Your allegiance is to the white man, it has always been and will probably always be, it's in your DNA. Because of your backstabbing behavior we don't give a damn about immigration anymore that's why you never see us protesting when Trump talks about kicking you out, hell, most of you support Trump anyway.

5. Those crybabies are the ones who changed America, those crybabies are the same people who will change America in the future. America is far from a perfect country and those crybabies are what America is all about. Those crybabies are exercising their constitutional rights. I wish you would start being crybabies in your own countries and stop running to other countries where crybabies have made it possible for you to thrive. Choke on that for awhile.

You know, I'm really disappointed in Nigerians who have this mindset. They pride themselves on being "successful" in the White man's system. Pride themselves for not questioning their societies and they pride themselves for reinforcing the status quo of colonialism. It's sad and depressing. Anyone who challenges the system is called lazy. We are now lazy for demanding to be treated as humans and not the hierarchy established by colonialism. Black people with this mindset are just praising themselves for being better at being slaves. they celebrate being "hard workers" to the White oppressors.

JaceBlaze:
I hear what you're saying but do you know how long these people have been abusing Saffers for?

I know but it's just not worth it. Or at least if you clap back, don't lower yourself to their tactics. Provide them with facts and not insults. Please because right now, I'm kinda ashamed to say I'm South African.

We know we have worth and we know we don't have to oppress others to feel worthy. Don't do what they do. This isn't just a message to you but to all the South Africans on nairaland. Make us proud for our achievements and not for the lack of theirs.

JaceBlaze:
Don't you think it's funny that out of all African countries you have played with,the only one you're scared of losing a useless soccer match to is South Africa? I think there is a deep insecurity and inferiority complex sitting within.Other Africans can celebrate or mourn with you,but if for one second you think South Africans even give a damn then you are terribly mistaken.The rest of Africa is an afterthought to us.Why do you think we don't visit y'alls shithole countries?

My bru, i know you are very wound up and I agree that some things people say about South Africa and South Africans are terrible. But please don't stoop so low by joining them. please stop referring to other countries as shithole countries. I beg you. Please be better than them. Don't stoop to their tactics of oppressing others to make oneself look better. You and I know the truth about SA and that's all that matters.
If someone else sees what you wrote, they're gonna think South Africans are boastful and arrogant... does that ring a bell?
I know you are better than this.
Please understand that I am not insulting or attacking you.
xoxoxoxo

I don't understand why people say they are lazy. Must they keep quiet, sit back and allow corona to spread? They are standing up for their rights.

Is demanding the basic human right to life and dignity being lazy?

They value themselves as human beings and won't be pawns in a government scheme to test the schools preparedness for the virus. They are not test monkeys, they are humans. Let them stay at home and rather develop a strategy for learning from home that would benefit all.

I must be lazy too...

needanswer:
thanks for the heartfelt apology on behalf of SA. all foreigners who do criminal activities on foreign soil should face the law. I strongly believe that.

I'll reconsider if SA is still where I want to go to after travel restrictions are lifted. the world in general isn't safe for people of colour anymore( blacks especially), just look at the racism in the US. Truly no place like home.

Agreed. Good luck on your travels and thanks for the discussion. If more people were like you, Africa wouldn't be so bad...
Well, it's been fun but I have to go sleep now. This winter is torture, 4 degrees Celsius ain't no joke.

needanswer:
I get what you mean. I'm a financial stable person, while she is a university undergraduate. Her cousin has a Nigerian boyfriend too. so her family isn't against Nigerians.

she sort of tried to justify the xenophobic attacks on Nigerians and Africans. part of the reasons I left. I later came back to formally close all my dealings in SA. it's 3:33am in SA, sorry I'm keeping you up.

No it's chilled, i can't sleep anyway. I think this xenophobic thing is getting out of hand. Honestly, the number of people who actually think bad about nigerians are very small. And trust me, we the majority don't approve of their attitude at all. Some people in this country can be very xenophobic.

Now, there is a problem with criminality. South Africans feel that one should not do in another country what you won't do in your own so when they see a foreigner doing something wrong, it get emphasised because they believe the guest should behave in the house of the host. Also, i think there's some kind of confusion. The majority of South Africans have a problem with foreigners doing illegal things. We don't have a problem with foreigners in general. For example, there's a somalian shop in my small town and we all buy our things from there because he runs an open and honest business. People respect the somalians in town more than they respect each other lol! Anyway, in another town there's another Somalian store that sells expired and fake goods and people absolutely don't like them. So what gets out is that South Africans don't like foreigners. But that's actually not the case, we love foreigners but we just want some respect for the laws. We aren't denying that our own people are criminals. Not at all, we have horrible criminals here. We just can't juggle our own criminals and foreign criminals. We don't have the capacity that the USA has so people take matters into their own hands and they try to flush out the criminals. Then you get those idiots and scumbags who take advantage of that to push their xenophobic agendas so now it looks like all foreigners are hated. But trust me, they get dealt with too.

I'm sorry if anyone has ever treated you unfairly in this country. Please, once this corona is over, come to SA and teach people about Nigeria so that they can get a better understanding of your country. Those who make a positive impact need to be louder.
Once again, i apologize for xenophobic acts against anyone affected.

needanswer:
I cant be certain if she would give a different answer, but she stressed the traditional marriage rites. I never knew Xhosa's traditional marriage rites were sort of stressful. I wouldn't want her to put me through that If she is truly a feminist. I prefer your former stance on SA women. we had an issue with xenophobia too

I'm not an expert on Xhosa culture because I'm coloured so unfortunately I don't want to say something wrong.
I know there's some slight distrust between men of a family when it comes to marrying foreigners. Even in the coloured community when you say you are dating or marrying a Nigerian, people are usually a little worried because they fear the guy might be after money or papers. It has happened to many women so they are very very careful. I speak from experience because I've seen many families being concerned because their daughters are breadwinners and successful and they think the Nigerian guy is only after that. I'm not saying it's true, im saying it's what I observed from people. In any case, it is not a South African thing. I've heard from Chinese even how their parents don't want them to marry Africans or even date them lol! I think older people struggle to do away with stereotypes.
But if a guy can show that he is successful on his own and he doesn't need papers and he's a good person but the family still doesn't like him, nah I think it's some xenophobic business going on there.

needanswer:
No, as long as you don't hold on to traditional values too. No Cherry picking, I don't support that.

I get what you mean but as I said before, most women just do the bride price thing to satisfy families. I wonder what would've happened if you said that you don't believe in bride price... I think she would've agreed with you. Anyway, only she will know that answer. I also don't like it when people have double standards

Pelxmiye:
: .... commodity or not , when you walk down the isle and tell each other "I'm yours and you're man"...there wasn't any commas or semi colons,but then the addition of the law or legal documents backing the marriage become the adjudicator such that if any of both partners goes against the laws guiding the institution,they can divorce ,my point it's a two way thing,it's either both parties are traditionals, meaning their marriage is determined by traditions and religions, going by that ,their bodies are subject to one another,the other side to this is the law or legal marriage,one of the provisions for this is "conjugal"rights,which both parties agreed to and if there are any issues,they can always go to court,a woman's or man's body isn't a commodity in any sense ,but going by these two marital structure,their bodies are subject to one another, whether they love each other enough to reach an agreement or understanding is a discussion for another day ,which though,is also very important

Hhhhmmmm interesting point... so would you say that the husband's body belongs to the woman too? because if that's the case, i can think of some pretty kinky things to do to him that involves him bending over to "pick up soap" Hahaha remember don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you

In any case, if that's your reasoning, goodluck

needanswer:
I'm just seeing this. Now I'm at cross roads.

But is there anything wrong with being a feminist? I don't understand...

needanswer:
I didn't mean it in the sense of "attack", just in the sense of a clever twist. I don't think guys in recent decades have lead any major changes in society. Ladies have been in the forefront of social and cultural change. I'm not attacking ladies too, just twisting it cleverly in my favour.

Lol great then! im just so super careful because on naira land everyone thinks everything is a personal attack lol and I don't want to start an e-war or something!

Yeah I think men need to realize that women can't fight the battle alone. It's difficult fighting a system that's against you from the start. We therefore need the men to also stand up for something. In apartheid the black man didn't fight alone. Women were at the forefront too. So maybe next time when a girl tells you to pay her bride price, say flat out no and you'll see if she really loves you.

needanswer:
I see what you tried to do. You want to spin this on the guys... Clever. I'll spin it back towards the girls. Bride price was for an era where ladies were considered as commodities. No same lady still thinks herself as such. Ladies should fight for the abolition of bride price as it stigmatize against them as "items or commodities". Thank you

No no no you misunderstood. I'm not pinning it on the guys alone. I'm just saying that they can actually change it if they want to because they have more power in traditional affairs. They just need to all come together and agree to stop paying the bride price as a requirement for marriage. But because at some point fathers and uncles benefit from it, they don't want to scrap it. The young men should voice their opinions to their elders and they should attempt to change tradition. I'm not saying that women won't help but the problem is that when it comes to tradition, women don't really have much say. I hope you understand now? I'm not attacking the male gender, im actually encouraging them to make a difference

needanswer:
Paying part of it isn't a bad idea, I can support that if it becomes formal. But being informal the greater burden will fall on guys even though the ladies are trying to help out.

Yes I agree. And the funny thing is, the men are actually the ones who reinforce this cycle. For example, many men hate the idea of paying bride price and they think it's unfair. but if those men have daughters, they will also later demand her boyfriend pay the bride price. It's a cycle that can't end because someone always gains something from it. To be honest, nobody is forcing us to agree to tradition. This generation can all make a vow to not ask for bride price. But I bet you at least 95% of the men now who have a problem with bride price will be at the forefront of negotiations in the future when it comes to their daughters hahaha

needanswer:
Good points, I agree a wife isn't a commodity unlike money. About the bride price being or not being a form of ownership over the wife or her body.... I believe bride price cost a lot of money and one party shouldn't pay such huge sums for an equal partnership irrespective of reasons, should they?

Actually I've been reading some very interesting articles lately... these days many women actually help the men pay the bride price. It's not uncommon in SA especially if a woman earns more than the man. Because when you marry for love, you don't want something as silly as a bride price to ruin your future but you also don't want to anger your family by breaking tradition. So many girls pay the bride price themselves (giving the money to the guy) or they pay part of it

Chances are she is a feminist though. A lot of South African women are. We take pride in it because it benefits men and women

needanswer:
She is SA, xhosa tribe precisely. Maybe I was wrong though. Why are you guys different?

I'm not Xhosa but I can tell you that we are different because our situations demand it. Our parents and grandparents learned a long time ago that to overcome poverty, the girl child needs to be able to provide for her own needs and the needs of her family. More breadwinners, less poverty. So we aren't taught to be housewives. Actually myself and many of my friends don't know anything about being the traditional wifey type. We are taught from a young age that we need to focus on excelling in our careers so that we can be uplifted from poverty.

Actually, we are often dissuaded from marrying early by our parents. and if we do get married, we don't want to "settle down" so early with kids. It's expensive and we therefore need to be prepared

I'd have to say the biggest difference between the wife having rights over her body and the man sharing his money is the fact that a body is not a commodity. I think we crossed that bridge when we all agreed slavery is inhumane. So, it is therefore equally inhumane to have "ownership" over a wifes body just because the bride price was paid.

I would also like to state that a man's money and a women's money should both go into the marriage. That's equality. I can't possibly have rights over your money when you can't say jack over mine.

Lastly, i think the whole bride price affair should be scrapped. I know in many cultures the bride price wasn't seen as a man buying the woman, it had a far deeper meaning (i won't go into that now). But I fear that we have forgotten about that far deeper meaning and just turned the whole affair into a transaction. Which brings me back to my first point: a human (body) is not a commodity

I can tell you from a South African side that we generally don't like to get married early. Especially when we haven't made it in our careers yet. Also, generally, we don't want many children and are open to having none or even adopting.

I don't know where the woman is from but if it's SA, she wasn't influenced by white people. The truth is that women in SA are raised very differently from women in other countries. We are raised to be career oriented and hard workers. So maybe your girl was raised the same?

RuudVanNisteroy:
I agree Nigerians leaders would have changed their governing methods. if they governed Botswana,Namibia or South Africa. The people don't allow it, but have to put up with it because the leaders control the enforcement agencies that are some of the most brutal in the world, who have no regard for human life.

I get your point... however, the world has witnessed uprisings that have been very brutal. If Nigerians were to demand better governance as a collective, the chances of mass atrocities would be slim. People have to be willing to lay their lives on the line. It's a fight for the future and not necessarily the present. Having a big uprising would be more effective than a few people protesting and getting slaughtered by military or police forces. Look at Zimbabwe, it wasnt a few hundred people. The same with South Africa. Enforcement agencies need to be outnumbered. Nigeria will only get it's respect back when the people decide to stand up for themselves.

In reply to your initial question, I think those countries would be the same as they currently are. This is simply because leadership is defined by the people. truth be told, no South African would put up with the things people put up with in Nigeria. So even if the same ministers were in power in SA, either they would have to change their governing methods or they must go. The same way most of our leaders would most likely act more corrupt in Nigeria. The people allow it.

I hope my input qualifies as progressive leadership? this thread was becoming quite derailed...

I admire and support African Americans in their cause. We are fighting to change the system here too. We must support each other to decolonize the system. I for one am sorry that we have failed black people on this continent and abroad.

Nope. She was wrong. Tweets were racist.

The thing is that people think they can just go crazy on social media. That they can just spread their hate speech and hide behind an account. Yes, that may have been long ago but it is hate speech. We don't know if she's really changed. At the time, she felt so comfortable sharing these hateful things. And when people brought it up now, she acted like it was just something that youths do.

I don't agree with that. if we accept this as just "something kids do" or "teenagers will be teenagers" then we are telling all teenagers that they can do whatever they want. Remember, we have to change thinking at the childhood level. Just because you are a child doesn't mean you can say hurtful things and claim Ignorance. We have to inform kids that racism, sexism is wrong.

They shouldn't let her off the hook. She was raised in a democracy and she should've known better. She has no excuse.

Ps. just because something isn't offensive to you, doesnt mean it's okay.

The pill is cheaper but if she's the forgetful type, don't go for it.
The injection is also fine.
Try IUD if you have some extra cash.
Anyway, whatever you try, make sure to use the birth control for a certain amount of time before having sex. It doesn't just work on the first day. The body needs to adjust. Go to the clinic or doctor to ask for appropriate ones. Take note that a certain birth control doesn't work the same way for everyone so she needs expert advice