zhike:

If you sell on the street with plans to grow your business, i can support that.
But other people sell on the street for 10 years, what do you call that?

To be honest, it also bothers me that people do it for so long without growing their business. I think it has a lot to do with culture. In SA it's not considered a successful business if it doesn't grow or expand or if it doesn't create employment or other opportunities. But I think what's preventing people from expanding their businesses in Nigeria is maybe the laws and policies.

Although I find it strange that many Nigerians in SA don't expand their businesses either even though it shows potential...

I just won't call it mediocre because we don't understand their circumstances and maybe small trading is all their circumstances allow for.

I often look in shock when many people here save up millions to leave their country when those millions could be used to start a successful business venture in Nigeria. Not a small shop but an actual company that could render services or produce food or healthcare products.

But I appreciate the fact that you are asking the right questions in order to understand.

zhike:

My friend you are promoting illegal Business that makes cities to be dirty, lastly the business that does not pay tax.
If you want to sell open a shop and pay tax.
We need to think smart is 2020.
Come with your desks to Limpopo towns such as Tzaneen and Polokwane you will be arrested. We don’t support mediocrity, we want real businesses



What are you better than South Africans with?

I think selling fruits etc on the streets is enough for survival but not for prosperity. Although it may put food on the table in Nigeria, it's not very helpful in SA where things are a lot more formal. For example: how are you gonna get a mortgage when you're a hawker? So you'll forever just sell fruit and earn the same amount of money while employing one or two people at most.

However, if you were to (for example) start a partnership or company that not only sells fruit but makes various fruit based products... now that's called prospering.

There's nothing wrong with selling fruit etc on the streets but it's just not something South Africans do much because it doesn't really sustain our living standards. I know many people who informally sell things but they do it on the side and from home as an extra income because a formal occupation is more beneficial. Or there are people who start informally but they want to become formal businesses.

I wouldn't call them mediocre, i just think that maybe it works for them in their circumstances. Although it doesn't do much for the economy...

I must say, I'm also shocked by the unemployment rate in Nigeria because when I talk to Nigerians they always say how there's no work and no opportunities.

Meanwhile i look at Nigeria and I just see so many opportunities. Especially large scale opportunities. But I guess it's because I don't know what's really going on. And by the comments, i see that these statistics may not even be true.

sbaks:
Irongalaxy I understand you clearly. It hurts to see some foolish nigerians doing businesses with so much arrogance, defrauding people too as if it's their land (I speak for nigerians now) but you guys too need to be flexible as to learn how to receive visitors in other to grow. How can you grow if you've never interacted with foreigners before? Whether you like it or not there are some positive things you've learnt in life from foreigners at least thanks to the media like tv or the internet (that's if you haven't met with any foreigner before). It's just like staying within your family without receiving any visitor or going out to see friends and neighbors. How are you expected to survive and be intelligent? We should learn from the whites who travelled all the way down to Africa, stole ideas, took it back to their lands to develop and then came back to colonize. Also the Chinese who have done same (the first phase) to the West and are doing so well. They accept foreigners too (a lot these days). The likes of Dubai, Canada, EU, etc. These guys are no fools. They know the importance of this. But you guys want to chase all out (not just nigerians but everyone out) forgetting to look at the other side and the importance. If you look well, not all nigerians in SA would be a white "ass-kisser". They could be your friends and also help in your economic growth/emancipation cos from what I hear, your country's wealth is dominated by the whites. These whites too shouldn't be much of a concern as you can encourage yourselves to carry out researches and all, develop yourselves and fight these battles "mentally" now and not physically. Physically shows you guys have given up. Physical fight shows defeat in the mental realm in my opinion. Black South Africans need to do more. I love you guys though for upholding your cultures

Im sorry for getting involved outta the blue but I really appreciate your mature response to everything. If we are able to discuss things like this without tribalism or any type of insults, it will help us solve matters.

I've read your replies and can understand your point. I do believe that we as South Africans can learn from our brothers and that was the general expectation. See, we expected to learn from your teachers, doctors, businessmen,entertainers etc. Unfortunately we got so few of them from you. I read the other day that we have a major skill shortage and we need people to fill those jobs. However, South Africa's skilled youth are still very young and inexperienced. Unfortunately, instead of us being able to rely on our African brothers to fulfill these roles, we now have to rely on others because most African immigrants come to trade or do jobs that locals do.

Now there's nothing wrong with petty trading, but it doesn't really contribute to the economy in a massive way. It's more of a survival occupation than a development oriented occupation. Yes,there are many African professionals in SA who are helping us but this gets outshined by the ones who are working small time. A minister even once said that we don't need your petty traders, we need help to develop. There are many skilled people in Africa who can look at the skilled visa list and apply for those jobs. Unfortunately, ive noticed that most Africans prefer to work for Europe and North America to develop those countries. But more petty traders come to South Africa. It's like you are selling out the continent.

We would really appreciate the support of our brothers and sisters to help us with our country and continent as a whole but we don't need people who are gonna rely on the same few resources as us. We want real developers. You can see South Africans praising those Nigerians who do things for the country. We are even saying that government should give such people citizenship because of their positive contributions to the economy and society. We want your competition in our formal sector. We don't want you to form an informal sector. If you can come with companies that render services to millions or employ millions, that would be great. Nobody has a problem with that. However, when someone sells items on the roadside (most times without a permit) it doesn't really make our society or economy better.

SO please,if there is anyone who can positively contribute to our young country, please come to SA through the legal route. Please stop going to the very countries who call us shitholes to develop them. We need your expertise, we have our own criminals and petty traders and lazy people who just wanna sell and do drugs. We don't need more.

BigIyanga:

Are you aware that less than 25% of Nigerians in RSA who have had issues with the law were drug related? So are the drug users and buyers Nigerians too?

As much as we have a problem with youths and drugs, it does not justify the selling of drugs by foreigners. Just because Nigeria has a problem with the youth being recruited into boko haram, are you gonna take it lightly when al-shabaab decides it also wants to recruit Nigerians? There is a market for their activities, why can't they just join in too? does that seem okay to you?

In South Africa it is very difficult to arrest and prosecute someone for drugs if it is not found in their possession. It's even more difficult when suspects can't be traced.

Obviously not all Nigerians are drug dealers. But that doesn't stop the problem from being a problem. For example, just because not every coloured is a druggie, doesn't mean that there isn't a drug addiction problem in the community. The presence of coloured doctors, engineers or other professionals does not take away from the fact that there exists a drug problem in coloured communities.

If Nigerians acknowledge that there is a problem, they can work towards a solution. We as South Africans acknowledge that we have criminals and rapists and druggies etc. WHich is why you are seeing mass protests and community projects that seek to address the problem.

Please Nigeria,work with us to address this problem too.

EagleNest:


It is good and more respectful move if you ask me, assuming the motive is well intended. Now certain country or countries have been singled out for this purpose. Perhaps they are the worst in SA's assessment.

But I would still think that SA community should get across to local law enforcement agencies and report whoever is breaking the law of the land regardless of nationality. I don't like people coming to someone else land and breaking the law. It's not good. But it's equally sad when the local citizens starts generalising and destroying everything including life, just to send a message.

Tell the law officers, and they'll will bring them to justice one-by-one. That's how it's done in Western world. It doesnt matter how long it takes, they will bring them down.

I wish we were like developed countries but the truth is that South Africa is also struggling. We barely have enough capacity to deal with our own crimes, it's unreasonable for everyone to just say we must get the police. WHy must we as Africans always be policed? Can't we just behave out of the goodness of our hearts? ANd I think that's also a point that we as South Africans make. Why is it necessary for us to use our funds to provide police while everyone from outside just comes in and does whatever. It's not fair. As much as we should work on our security, our brothers must also not break laws. How would Nigerians feel if you are struggling with boko Haram, your own crime and then South African gangsters decide to make Lagos their playground? It wouldn't be fair on your already struggling security system.

This is a two-way thing. More police means more taxes. AT the end of the day it's the South Africans who will pay to beef up security while everyone just tells us: "We can do whatever illegal things, just get more/better police". DO you think that is pan-Africanism?

Where is the love when people cross the border to murder and steal and then cross back to sell their goods? As much as South Africans need to respect other Africans, other Africans should also respect us. it's only fair.

EagleNest:
I don't see any cogent reason for the hateful banters.
There is law in SA, why not enforce it thru legitimate means. Why xenophobic attack on Nigerians and Zimbabweans? Very uncivil act if you ask me.

If you don't like any dubious character in your community, regardless of nationality, just report the person to law enforcement unit and follow up the case to the end. That's how it's done in civilized world.

Dont go and repeat same mistake of blanket killings and mob actions in the name of hate or rivalry or whatever.

It is your community, monitor the bad ones, get them arrested, prosecute and jail them.

Yes you are absolutely right and we are addressing the issue of mob justice. I think you can agree that mob justice is not only found in South Africa but nevertheless, we are condemning it. At the same time,the group of protesters clearly decided to take the diplomatic route by approaching the Nigerian representatives with a list of their demands. They are seeking that our African governments also take responsibility for the criminal activities of some of their people.

As I recall, when attacks broke out,the rest of Africa asked why they didn't go about their issues in a more diplomatic way. Well now they have and they are trying to involve other African leaders to solve the problem but when it comes to the lives of their citizens, generally African leaders couldn't care less.

mrblessed:
What obtains in most countries -- a fact you referenced with the example of South Africa -- is a system of education financing, whereby people are sponsored to obtain college/university degree, and pay back after they begin to work. Of course, they are certain to get jobs after they finish schooling; hence, the credit system is highly effective. It might interest you to know that president Obama finished paying his education debt just few months before becoming president.

Since every labourer needs his tools to be productive, I have to quickly disagree that the things mentioned in the article are difficult to provide by the Nigerian government. I will also reiterate that it is purely an issue of misplaced priority and lack of good governance that started since the late 1980s. The article raised the issue of poor salaries and even made comparison with other African countries that have better pay compared to Nigeria. It also showed the limitations suffered by lecturers, which hinder them to perform their job effectively, leading some of them to engage in unethical practices. In developed world, including South Africa, issues like internet connection, power supply, grant for research, etc. are things taken for granted. But these amenities are seen as luxuries to the university community in Nigeria. The Nigerian government has the capacity to provide these amenities if it is serious to persue genuine development, which is anchored by research-driven output of universities.

Nigerian politicians have successfully destroyed public primary and secondary education; their aim is to replicate same to tertiary education. This is the thrust of ASUU's perennial struggle with the government.

I agree with you that basic things especially aren't provided. I also think education in Nigeria is heavily underfunded. Im just saying that when the commitment of funding is going to be made, people should realise that they will also be expected to change things. As in higher taxes, credit system, job creation (especially the private sector), higher tuition etc. These things are all needed to make successful funding possible. WHich is why I mentioned the student debt part. The general society must realise that they have to sacrifice to make it happen. The same economic and social model can't be followed if better education is the aim.

Good luck and you have the support of South Africa. As you know, the feesmustfall movement addresses similar issues. I've always wanted to study at a Nigerian university so I wish you the best.

For those of you who are blaming this on the entire black race in South Africa, I can honestly tell you that it's a class and geographical thing.

1. In a survey a while ago, it was found that a great majority of South Africans despise the criminal behavior of some foreigners and they expressed concern about it. However, people staying in poorer areas were most likely to rise up against it because it affects them directly. For example, a rich white person can easily send his/her son to rehab if he gets hooked on drugs. A rich black woman can easily get more security at her house to combat burglary. The poor have no defense. So please stop ripping on black South Africans. They are the very same people who support foreign owned businesses, some even house our African brothers and sisters for free and employ them. The only thing is: they appreciate honest people who won't take advantage of their hospitality.

2. If you ask why these protests aren't happening in coloured areas, here is your answer: at this moment, the leading crime in poor coloured areas is gang violence. People are protesting against that. But it does not mean that they don't notice the criminal acts of some foreigners. On many occasions they have come out to protest drug selling, killing, rape etc perpetrated by some foreigners.

3. foreigners themselves complain about the criminality of some foreigners. I personally know of some Nigerians who do not want to stay in certain areas occupied by their fellow countrymen because they are scared of the high crime rates there.

4. Nobody hates Nigerians or any other nationality and nobody is jealous. We just don't like criminals. If you follow South African news, you'll see regular protests against all sorts of crime. Nobody is attacking people because they are foreign, they attack because they want to stamp out criminals. And as we all know, mob justice is frowned upon because there are always innocent ones who get stuck in the mess.

In conclusion, South Africans and Nigerians should work together to out these criminals. Nigerians must stop the silence and speak out against their countrymen who are committing crimes. We don't hate Nigerians, we hate criminals who travel long distances to disturb already struggling communities. We hate our own criminals too. They regularly get attacked in mob justice attempts.

mrblessed:
So your point is that since the government vastly subsides education, it should be of the poorest quality that is incapable of stimulating genuine development? Or that lecturers have no plausible ground to challenge the festering rot and the criminal neglect of tertiary education in Nigeria? In all this and with particular reference to your experience, you can't compare South Africa's infrastructural development to Nigeria's. This is more poignant if one considers the depraved opulence that envelope political office holders, it becomes clear that Nigeria has misplaced its priority.

I can bet my heart and my mind that this objective, well-articulated thread will draw the ire of ignorant, clueless, and pleasure-loving Nigerian youths, who can't differentiate what is a pressure group -- that is, ASUU, and the honcho of a university, which actually runs the university -- the VC that represents the government.

No you misunderstood. I was simply saying that getting education to the level where it should be is not simply gonna come from one focus point. There are many areas that need to be fixed in order to pay lecturers more.

My point was: They will always worry about salaries because the stuff mentioned in the article (house, car, laptop etc) is difficult for anyone to get especially when using a cash based system. The comparison with what a salary can buy wasn't very thorough because most lecturers in the world can't buy those things in cash.

So even if the lecturers get a salary increase, there are deeper issues that will keep coming up. I do agree with the universities needing more funding from government especially for research. Again, im not disagreeing with the issue at hand. Just pointing out that the comparison of what salaries can buy is a bit faulty.

Very interesting article and as much as I understand the plight of these lecturers, I would like to point out the following:

1.Teachers and lectures in South Africa also can't just afford those things you listed and it old also take them ages to just buy a house or a car or a laptop. The only difference is the credit system.. which (as I recall) is frowned upon by a majority of Africans.

2. As much as our budget allocates funds for universities, students also pay a lot. When I finished university I had over R100000 student debt in my name. Im still paying it off btw.

I'm just pointing these things out so that students and lecturers can know that it isn't always rosey on the other side.

WannaHowzit:


I don't hear Nigerians speaking out against their crimes in SA. Our minister of Foreign affairs described most Nigerians in SA as being involved in crime. This is the same message we gave their president when he was in SA and he believed it because he scolded Nigerians afterwards.

My sister, most Nigerians know very well that their people are criminals in other countries but they defend that. They even celebrate yahoo boys in Nigeria itself, so we are dealing with very rotten people here, don't waste your time trying to be civil. These people worship money at any cost, that's why they call South Africans lazy when they don't do crimes like them.

So you're just wasting your time, theses people are very evil.

I must agree with you on one point though. I've rarely seen Nigerians on this platform (or any other platform) condemn the actions of Nigerian criminals in SA. They'd rather blame someone else. Be it another tribe (especially igbo) or the SA police or the government (like buhari has control over everyone) some even blame the victims of these crimes by saying they were stupid for getting scammed or stupid and lazy for using drugs. It's never their fault. ANd this is why issues in Nigeria can't be addressed properly.

To be honest, if most Nigerians spoke out against crime, SOuth Africans wouldn't associate crime with a majority of them. I find it a little bit strange that when a Nigerian gets arrested in Dubai, Nigerians condemn the criminal. But when a Nigerian gets arrested in SOuth Africa, they blame everyone else except the criminal. This type of attitude doesn't reflect well on Nigeria because it makes it look like they love what criminals do in SOuth Africa. It's Like they (a great majority)somehow approve of these criminal elements. Like Nigeria is somehow entitled to engage in crime because they supported the liberation struggle.

When those xenophobic attacks happened, the country condemned it and we were all ashamed for the actions of those xenophobic monsters. Till this day we apologize for their actions but I rarely see any Nigerian offering any sort of condemnation for the actions of their own criminal elements in other AFrican countries. The ones who do immediately get accused of being anti-nigeria. It's a very strange situation I must say

WannaHowzit:


Don't let Nigerians ruin your day, they're not worth it. If they were respected they would have a good reputation in SA but as you know they are the lowest ranked humans that live in South Africa. Everyone absolutely hates them. They are desperately trying to hit back, but how does a criminal gain moral authority? Leave him to write his long essays, it's therapy for him, no South African will give him the time of day on the streets.

I don't think Nigerians are hated in SA. criminals are hated in SA. Nigerian criminals as well as criminals from other nationalities including South African criminals. It's important that we emphasize this because if you just say "Nigerians" you are doing exactly what he accused South Africans of doing and saying on a regular basis. Your actions are in turn reinforcing the "xenophobic South African" stereotype. You must draw a very clear distinction between Nigerians and Nigerian criminals.

Also don't let this platform spoil your view of Nigerians. They are actually great people, Just like the people from Africa in general, but the hateful ones make the most noise.

All of what you said about SA is the bad reputation I was talking about. Unfortunately due to the actions of a few people, other people have negative views about the whole country. Our reputation has suffered a lot because of that. ANd even though we aren't bad people and most of what you know about us are lies, the damage is done. WHat we are doing now is we are trying to correct the actions of our people. WHich is why you see movements calling for more effective policing and immigration so that the real refugees can enjoy the country like we want to enjoy it. SO instead of protests and looting, we are trying to solve it the right way. It's gonna take long to fix the reputation that we have as xenophobic. ANd even though these allegations made are really false, we understand that it is something we have to fix. As they say, where there is smoke there is a fire.

But this is what im trying to warn you against. The reason why people think South Africans are so bad is because the actions of a few. DOnt let that happen to Nigeria. Your actions of looking down on other countries and calling them lazy is making Nigerians in general look arrogant. This is the number one reason people complain about Nigerians. You proudly insulting SOuth Africa or countries with high Hiv is just gonna reinforce the already existing stereotype of the "arrogant Nigerian"

All I'm saying is that your message that you sent in this thread is confirming what so many people already believe about Nigerians. Don't give them bullets to shoot at you.

ANd you can keep insulting my people after you read this because I'm only looking out for those Nigerians who want to make a positive impact on the world. It is people like you who are stealing their shine. JUst like the xenophobic miscreants in South Africa stole the shine of the positive contributions by many South Africans.

think about it...

Disclaimer12:
Can u tell me one single contribution of a black south african toward the progress of your country? Can you tell me what you as a person contributed to the economy of your country! We are not always shy to let the world know about our experience with bad governance in Nigeria, but we can say without iota of doubt that we have never waited on anyone to spoon feed us as u lazy lads are doing! Its an advert abs probably a mistake from whoever posted it! Racism must be condemned we all know that, but we all know what you black south Africans mean by protest! Looting and anarchy! Soon it will spread to the Somalian selling in the spaza shop,it will spread to Nigerians owning a car shop,will spread to Malawian selling eggs on the street to survive! And I ask u again, what have you contributed as a black man in terms of social development and economic development? Aside making babies like hyena, drinking alcohol and sleeping all day like you competing with the dead! The only thing positive about south Africa black is their HIV certificate! Keep looting and pretending to be protesting! I wonder wbh u posting your lame stories here! U all can't just do without Nigerian irrespective of our bad you've painted us

This officially ruined my day.

As for lazy people, they are everywhere. It's not specific to a country. Just like all nigerians aren't drug dealers and all drugs are not dealt by Nigerians. Just like all South Africans aren't xenophobic and all xenophobic acts are not committed by South Africans. It has been argued by many people in your country that Nigerian youths are lazy and you strongly opposed. Yet you are quick to call another country's population lazy even when all evidence suggests the contrary.

Please, before you make these hateful statements, just know that this is the internet and when people see your post, they will assume this is the general mindset in Nigeria. Think of your fellow Nigerians and how your hateful statements affect how the world views your country. I've met quite a few people who complained about Nigerians looking down on other countries. DOnt let this be the attitude that defines you.

Because of a few xenophobic people, the whole South Africa gets labelled xenophobic by the rest of the world. We are suffering from a big image dent because of a few people. DOnt let the same happen to Nigeria.

Watch what you say and do because you are representing your country. I say this because I have Nigerian friends who regularly express their concern for the reputation of their country because people like you just spew hate loud and proud. Right now you are doing a good job of painting yourself bad.

Making fun of AIDS may be amusing to you but people are dying. All over the world. ANother country's problems shouldn't be your ego booster.

I hope you won't take my words as an insult because it isn't meant that way.

PEace

So what I'm getting from this whole "debate" is that:

Nigerians shouldn't get good roads or help/advice from Namibia because Namibia has white people...?

Two things I've noticed:
1. Getting help from an African country with a diverse population is frowned upon. Yet, there's no hesitation to get help from China or countries who have less or no black people or diversity.
2. It's okay that Nigeria has bad roads because Namibia has white people. So Nigerians are happy with their bad roads because at least they are all black people and not diverse like the evil Namibia.

With this logic, no wonder the roads are so bad.

BeLookingIDIOT:
I can bet it's owned by white men

You know, this comment of yours really breaks my heart.

His name is Sheldon Tatchell. Please read more about the story so that you can decolonize your mind.

matrixme:
Nigerians will never see anything good in their country. Just because someone used a good camera phone to snap some streets in their country, so we have to chop okro over it? You too snap some fine places in your country too and upload it. Chikena!!
Someone is even saying that he's not sure that Abuja has places as fine as those... This our Abuja abi? or another one....?
You must not have been around very much

Again, avoiding responsibility by blaming the use of a good camera.

The fact is that even if a really good camera was used and even if the person only walked around posh areas,why can't Nigeria learn something in terms of town planning? I see people complain about lack of sidewalks all the time on nairaland. SO why not look at Namibia and say: "We should make ours like that too". But, instead, energy and productivity is focused on trying to disprove the op's claim that these countries have organized cities.

Also, i would like to add that most suburbs have sidewalks and municipalities regularly keep streets clean in those countries. Roads are upgraded in every town or neighbourhood. development isn't restricted to their capital cities only and those places actually look better in real life than on the pictures.

naptu2:


That depends on where you are.


Innoson has distributors in Lagos. Check them out here https://www.innosonvehicles.com/archives/6242


Nord has a showroom in Lekki. You can get their address through their website (there's a link on the first page).


Bennie Technologies makes amazing designs, but I don't think they mass produce their cars (they mass produce agricultural machines). However, you can contact them on Twitter if you want to make a customised car.
https://mobile.twitter.com/bennieagro

Proforce and Obasa Specialty Vehicles mainly make vehicles for the military and security services.

I'm in SA. Unfortunately advertising and marketing haven't reached that far. But when I visit Nigeria, i will definitely check it out. Thanks

tungamaje:
Are we sure Abuja streets are even as beautiful as what I am seeing here? May be those streets were developed by white men

This right here is why infrastructural development in Nigeria is moving at such a slow pace. Attributing development to the White man sends a clear message: black people can't do anything.

This further leads to a mindset that lacks accountability and responsibility. "Why can't Nigeria have good infrastructure? Because they don't have white people. "

This further creates a laziness amongst youth because they don't see themselves as being capable of any positive development. "What's the point of doing anything when the white man is 100% better".

Which then leads to the massive migration to Europe and America and other developed Asian countries. "Let's go look for opportunities in the white man's land because they are so much more developed than us"

Finally resulting in the inability to actually develop ones own country while working at full force to develop theirs.

Moral of the story:Take responsibility for Nigeria, Develop Nigeria with dignity and pride. It's not the job of the white man.

I'm so delighted by this

I told everyone I know about Nigerian branded cars and they were like: "where can we get them?"

SO seriously, where can I get one?

This is the kind of development we like to see. Innovative, sustainable, progressive and making an impact.

OMG I officially love you!

Thanks so much for making these inspirational videos. It is great to see black excellence, as always. I'm officially one of your biggest fans and hopefully one day I will do something equally as great and star in one of your videos! Lol

But really, it's a wonderful initiative from you and you're doing great work

Kazim88:


@Poseidon000

From you both point of view, you are apparently right ..
But let me ask you a question?

In-between these 3 Ladies, who would you rather marry?

1. She loves and adore you (exclusively, i.e you don't love her and she is not domestically/maritally useful) she loves you apparently because your game is tight.

2. You love her (exclusively too.. she doesn't love you, and she has no marital value)

3. She is Martially valuable, she manages you, your children, your home, gives you peace at home, don't argue with you, always try to do what will make you happy.. she doesn't love you (but respect you), you don't really love her, all you do is provide the resources..

For the record, my choice is always number 3... I am not sure I am a man that sees value in human kind of emotional love.. Marital value is priceless and it cost money not flowers.

Easy peasy: I won't marry.

It's really quite simple. See, I've noticed a trend on this forum where marriage is seen as a must and an end goal. You'd compromise your complete happiness for the sake of being married. If you don't love her but she respects you, you are 60% happy because deep down, you know there's no love. Why compromise yourself just to achieve 60%? You deserve 100%. Which is why I'd rather hold out until I find 100% than live my life at 60%. This will encourage all of us to give 100% in a relationship. You give 100 and receive 100.Wouldn't that be amazing?

ALso, let's address the issue of respect. Here's something that bothers me: why is there respect without love? WHy do we think so little of ourselves that we feel we can't be respected out of love but rather out of money and power? You are not your money, you are not your power. You are a human being capable of love and of being loved. As soon as we realise this, it can eliminate so many problems on this continent.

Finally, I'd choose none of those girls.

Brachaa:


You just kept Merry-go-rounding.

Your opinion though. Doesn't apply to everyone including mua!.

You must be a love poet.
Nice romantic poem. Kudos.

Yeah it doesn't apply to everyone which is why I said please don't generalize to make it seem like African women in general are prepared to sell themselves to the highest bidder. It sends a message that we are objects that must be pimped out and that just western (white) women's virtue must always be protected.

I think love can't be bought. So if you pay for someone to be with you, it's not love. There's nothing wrong with giving gifts to the one you love. But the moment you use that gift as compensation, it's not love.

Love and peace

Brachaa:


O yeah? So all the above mentioned can be gotten with sand and not money??

If you had based your argument on flowers only, it would have made a lotta sense since flowers can easily be gotten from trees and any random garden and not make you come across as "selling yourself to the highest bidder". But @ the bolded has defeated that purpose because those things are even more expensive than some calculated cash gift. So??... still same same.

I must've misunderstood... I was under the impression that we were talking about the perfect gift. Those things I listed are things that carry more sentimental value. Also note how I said time and attention are more important. If I give a gift to my guy for his birthday or valentines day or whatever, I'll give him something that shows that I've paid attention to him. For example, if he says he loves to watch football I would buy him two tickets to a match of his favorite team and he can take me or a friend to enjoy the day with him. That's a gift that requires thought. it requires me to show interests in his likes and dislikes. I won't just give him money because that shows that I don't really care what's in his mind and what he likes. Similarly, I like balloons and candy and theme parks. Therefore, instead of just giving me money, it shows that he actually cares about what I like if he goes with me and we spend a day at the themepark.

not that I wouldn't help him financially if he's ever in a bind, I just think that giving someone money is a lazy gift and shows that you don't know him/her well. It's very superficial. Often strangers give money as birthday gifts because they don't know what the person likes. It's impersonal and when you give your man or woman money as a gift or a sign of appreciation, it's like a pay off situation.

lilmonarch:
women from which continent?

Africa, the one with the most resilient women.

Brachaa:
On a more serious note, what will I do with Flowers? If You must gift people stuffs, let it be what will appeal to them and earn their appreciation. Not what they won't value. I mean... What value can flower add to me as an African lady Still trying to figure it o.

The whites know what it does to them. I can't say. But any African babe forming she prefers flower over money, its a big fat lie. We know how they like to copy the white man in everything but las las they're not satisfied.

Be yourselves girls.

I prefer flowers, balloons, candy, chocolate, teddybears, a picnic at the beach etc.

Please don't generalize by making all African women look like we'd sell ourselves to the highest bidder. We don't just dispose of our dignity like garbage.

Besides, it's the little things that matter. Like time and attention. The women I know will get extremely offended if you give them money.

Please don't generalize

khia:

Actually real feminists would support this. I'm not talking about the fake feminists like the ones on this forum who will scream equality but expect for a man to provide everything for her, even a simple dinner date she won't pay for.

Thank you!
I'm starting to think that people on this forum have very little knowledge of feminism because most girls who clam to be feminists are just sooooooooooo not.

So adorable! they both look so happy. I would probably just start crying while I propose Lol


btw gender equality is what feminists strive for. Someone who does not agree with this proposal is clearly not a feminist. Puhleeez don't get it confused.