₦airaland Forum

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Treasuredlove:
lol...very funny. Pele. I can relate. You will get used to it

i really appreciate my nursery teachas back then.
Thanks so much.

Bro. It's not easy. I have been taking paracetamol.

I don't like teaching, but since i have applied for NNPC, EFCC, NAFDAC and they refused to offer me job. I decided to go for anything.
I applied for a teaching job, which i was called for an interview. The proprietor asked me if i can take nursery, since i need the job, i just nodded my head, smiled and said yes. He then told me to resume work on tuesday, which i did.
On Tuesday morning, i dressed, put on my shirt, trouse and neck-tie. My neigbour told me "bros i hear say you don get better job, congrat o" i raised my should walking pompously and i replied "na Godwin o, God go do una own too"
On getting to school on tuesday morning. The Head Teacher took me to a nursery class with a population of 50 pupils.
Immediately he showed me the class and the number of students, my heart sank, the little happines i had, began to depreciate. Though, i later encouraged myself with the saying "with God all things are possible".
When the head teacher left the pupils. I told them my name that my name is Modenzy. Before i mentioned my sure name, one of the pupils starting singing "shakiti bobo",i shouted at him to keep quiet, simultaneously, four of the pupils came to me saying "uncle, i want to wee wee. I told them is too early for them to go out now. Before i could notice, the class began to smell poo-poo (shit, excreta, feaces), unfortunately the head teacher blamed me for not allowing them to wee wee, poo-poo when they asked for permission. I apologised. As the head teacher left, i ask the pupils who needed to wiwi or poo-poo? Like 25 pupils respönded, for the fear of querry and the security of my job, I allowed the 25 pupils to go and do whateva they wanted.
When they got to the toilet, they fetch water and started playing with sand, moulding clay while i was in the class trying to control the class and give them work to do. After half an hour, i went out to see where the remaining pupils were, i saw them playing and the shouted at them to go to their classes, on getting to the class, i realised that six pupils were not in the class. I became worried searching for them. When the headteacher saw me, she asked me why rambling about the school premises. I told what happened and she started lambasting me, telling me i lack class control.
Later i wil tell the remaining stories. Sit down relax.

Dear money, owo, ego, kudi.
With deep respect and humility, I'm writing this letter to you for some rigid reasons.
First of all, i want to appreciate you for the fact that God has been using you to bless so many of us. Though, some people say "money is the root of all evil" but they are still using you to build their religious places of worship. with you, life is amazing. There is no living being that does not need you. Just like the Biblical statement "money answers all things". Once again thank you for being there. Secondly, I want to beg you on behalf of my guys, tosyne2much, mind44, naijasinglegirl and all nairalanders, that please we love you, please do not forsake us. Be our companion. Stay with us. Do not be scarce to us. Our pockets, purses, bank accounts should never lack you, and spending money will always be our hobby and talents. Please, money, no matter how we spend you, please still love us, always come back to us. Thirdly, Money, please for, in anyway we might have offended you, please we are deeply sorry and we regret our actions. We have so many things to do with you and in every areas and facets of our life(s).
As important as you are, you answer different names: i.e.
In church: offering
In police station: bail
in school: fees
In marriage: dowry
In banks: cash/deposits etc.
May God continue to use you to bless us richly.

Moderators, please over to you.

we have our experiences... Hmmmmmmmm. its well. I will chat u on watsapp

EastGold:
So touching.
Ngozi, you are part of our problems too

Hmmmmmmm, naija our country.

By Ngozi Okonjo Iweala Why am taking a swift from supporting General Buhari. Obasanjo endorsed General Buhari as the man to deliver this nation. I was personally shocked, when I heard the news. This is because, I was expecting Baba to stay at the touch line, and leave Nigerians to study his body language. But the masquerade could not control his dance in the public market. Hence he mistakenly flogged his own mother who is also a trader in the market. Nigerians, I am left with no option than to tell us that, these ex-generals and their boys are up to something. The issue at hand is not all about the presidential seat. But rather, the national cake (oil blocks). Less I forget, is it not the same Obasanjo who woke up and hand picked his puppet 2011, who eventually grew like Joseph the messiah of Egypt? Is it not the same Obj that told us 2011, that General Buhari is too old to rule this country? Is it not the same Obj that told us Buhari is a dictator? Somebody should have a rethink like me. We must understand the preacher’s language before decoding his message. If Obj can take a swift and prefer General Buhari to Jonathan, a puppet he dedicated his energy and resources to win 2011 election, then as an average Nigerian, we should have a rethink and ask our leaders what is so special in Aso Rock. If leadership is to serve the people, why is it that,the ex-generals finally gang up against their new recruit on account of change? If we’re to outline the sins of Mr.President, are the ex- generals not guilty of such sins? One may ask why is SPEAKER taking a swift? Everybody wants change. But I am astonished the way and manner these ex- general joined the train of change. Is it that, this is the first time they heard the word change? If NO, why did they not change this country when they were given opportunity? Why advocating for change now when the puppet body language shows he Will not renew their oil blocks licence? Why advocating for change now, when the puppet purchased equipment to monitor and reduce vandalism? Why advocating for change now, when the strong headed puppet wiped out their ghost names from the civil service payroll? Why advocating for change now, when the puppet sacked your boys as corrupt ministers? Why advocating for change now, when the puppet refused to dump Sambo for another puppet? Why advocating for change when he refused to kill Nigerians indiscriminatel y. But rather he is exploiting all means of dialogue. Unlike your Odi brutal killings and destruction. Why advocating for change now, when the puppet refused to twist governors hands with EFCC to pave his way like you did? Why advocating for change now, when at 72 years, you still tell your children of 50years they are the leaders of tomorrow? Why advocating for change now, when the puppet refused to give you the fertilizer deal? Why advocating for change now, when the puppet refused to jail your enemies? Why advocating for change now, when the puppet refused to rig election for your daughter? Why advocating for change now, when in your time railways were not working? Why advocating for change, when in your time, our judiciary could not delivered a fair judgement in favour of oppositions? Baba,Nigerians are fed up of you sitting in Otta, deciding their future. We want to decide our destiny with the help of God. We want to practice true democracy by using our votes to decide our future. Let the good works or antecedents of our leaders speak volume for them. Just after the presidential chat with Mr.President, we discovered that, you, your colleagues and errant boys, are spreading false informations to pave your way to aso rock. Lastly, I challenge you Baba, #Tinubu, #Atiku and others to tell Nigerians you don’t have oil blocks or you Generals are not fighting the last battle to protect your oil blocks. They won’t come out and speak my brothers and sisters. They want us to believe they are fighting for us. When they have their own local refineries at their backyards. R..I.P Fela: Animals wan dash me my human right.

l

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Davido, remember when your baby mama said you should follow her to Dubai: you told her " No be by force to go Dubai, abi na wettin cause the fight" anyway, I just like that track..
I forgive and I forget, Papa God knows the best, your papa just buy jet you about to take off everywhere ooooo

CaptainEColeJnr:
I also wrote uniben post ume .. August last year.. mine went smoothly except for bastard idiots that called me while I was bouncing in BDPA ,probably they knew I was a post umite, so they probably wanted to milk me,and a generator happened to be missing in the hostel where I lodged,so any new face was a suspect, and here I was being a potential 'suspect'.. .. and one was threatening to break my leg.. and here was four guys trying to accuse me of stealing the Gen .. lol.. as a sharp guy! I held my cool.. cuz na Confra guys, and I know they just wan intimidate me,but thank God sey na my Nokia 210 dey my pocket, dem no fit take am 4rm me cuz the fone na scrap.. after so much interrogation, dem just give up because I show no fear

At the end of the day.. I kuku buy gala for them and I wrote my post ume and ran back to Kano. lol

ksslib nice one!

Kano man, with this your sharpness, e be like sey you be sabon gari base

ellahzy:
Daddy's boy

# no be by force to go Dubai, my Papa just buy jet

I like that verse..... .......am about to take off everywhere oooo

ellahzy:
Daddy's boy

# no be by force to go Dubai, my Papa just buy jet

I like that verse..... .......am about to take off everywhere oooo

tosyne2much:
Let's be very frank here, it's indeed a man's world.. These things you listed does not only revolve around Nigeria alone but other countries.

A very sane person knows that this life is based on stereotype and prejudice

oga Tosyn, ure right

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Dele momodu, I hop ure not forcing saraki to go to Dubai

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Kaylexzy:
Oga, u couldn't handle it ni

Folks dat do worse and still graduate with a distinction plenty well well
Sha, u no get extra year, which is good. Lol

no extra year. Thanks.

I am glad to be an ABUsite, am proudly and ABU graduate, from the department of BUSINESSES EDUCATION.
I enroll into the degree programme as an innocent and the only male child of my mother. I was so determined that will always be a 4.pointer; In my first year, I was very studious, from class to fellowship then back to night class for reading. fortunately, I made the a GPA of 4.78, I was so glad. we were four that made such point in that department, again the only male student, the rest were babes.
To summarize the story, my name rang throughout the year, lo and behold, when we resumed for second semester, I cannot forget this faithful day, I was in a class reading and This beautiful lady in my department (name withheld because she is married to an evangelist). she came to me and began to ask me questions on pitman shorthand and I answered her, we exchanged contacts and we began to communicate even at night when others were sleeping; we fell deeply in love: she lured me into having sex and she took away my virginity. since the day I tasted sex, I knew the sweetness and I became a sex addict. as time was going, I had 55% for studies and 45% for kisses, 4play and sex everyday. I never knew the days were counting. when our results came out, I received the great shock of my life my cumulative point dropped to 3.43. but before final year, I came out with 3.60 which is 2nd class upper but my other determinant colleagues came out with 1st class.
learn from my lesson, especially those in school.
I love you all.

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I wil beat them to hel

God please, pick my call.

You are correct. Mine is pre-intimacy, i dnt do it on sundays!

tosyne2much:
At least somebody married Ambode/ Adams Oshiomole

oga Tosin. Hope you wil soon b a politician.
Nice answer

We have seen the change remaining the balance.

missingrib:
to be a graduate no b bean....the suffering pays if u graduate with a good G.P

exactly, GPA matters so much.

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Konji na bastard

tosyne2much:
OP, you are so on point.. Lemme add my own to the list


9. Tight Kitty-Cat


I can't but smh each time I hear guys saying they can't date a lady whose kitty-cat is loose.. All I know is that it's not kitty-cat that defines a lady.. However, it doesn't matter whether it's as wide as Lagos-Ibadan Expressway. A lady might have a tight kitty-cat and won't make a good wife while a lady might have a loose kitty-cat and will make a good wife. This implies that the tightness of kitty-cats has led many dudes into wrong choice


10. Walking Steps

I have no atom of regard for guys who lose their right sense of reasoning when they see a lady cat-walking like Beyonce, and will wan to die on top her neck.. All I know is that it doesn't matter how a lady walks, whether she walks sideways like a crab, or she walks slowly like a tortoise; all that matter is true love

prof. TOSIN. Eku ise ooo

It's nt because of N30 but because dey abuse his personality.