₦airaland Forum

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Konji na bastard

tosyne2much:
OP, you are so on point.. Lemme add my own to the list


9. Tight Kitty-Cat


I can't but smh each time I hear guys saying they can't date a lady whose kitty-cat is loose.. All I know is that it's not kitty-cat that defines a lady.. However, it doesn't matter whether it's as wide as Lagos-Ibadan Expressway. A lady might have a tight kitty-cat and won't make a good wife while a lady might have a loose kitty-cat and will make a good wife. This implies that the tightness of kitty-cats has led many dudes into wrong choice


10. Walking Steps

I have no atom of regard for guys who lose their right sense of reasoning when they see a lady cat-walking like Beyonce, and will wan to die on top her neck.. All I know is that it doesn't matter how a lady walks, whether she walks sideways like a crab, or she walks slowly like a tortoise; all that matter is true love

prof. TOSIN. Eku ise ooo

It's nt because of N30 but because dey abuse his personality.

lesbiangirl:
This is why you get your heart broken all the time. You're so concerned about what women want that you've forgotten what you "need" in a future partner. Take ur single life to discover yourself,love yourself,and be your own lover till love comes knocking. Get comfy in the loneliness...it's not bad unless you let ur mind tell you otherwise.

thank u miss Lesbian.

Welcomme:
All these affiliated schools are nothing but waste of time to me. It takes forever to see ur result n service sef Is a big trouble...F.C.E Zaria is not an exception to these issues.

but fce zaria is nearer to A.B. U.

I know there maybe some contradictions here, but please bear with me.
I'm a very good guy, very social but i don't drink and party, handsome, good sense of dressing, a grammarian, always neat, jovial ( self-appraisal). one thing I desire most is to be in a romantic relationship, but since when my ex got married to someone, i always find it hard to love any girl. Why? Because girls always betray me.
I need an advice: what should I do? What does a woman want?
Please matured comments.

Mr. Moderator. Over to you.

halfricanadian:
Simply
Send her a break up text message
If she is like "we not dating nau"
You now answer her that exactly!!!!!!!
We need to start dating

i dey feel U

acenazt:
7:you are a big hypocrite

thanks sir

Iam not a fan of any politician and i dont belong to any political party. am a fully blooded Nigerian. And I love my country to the core.
Below are the 6 reasons why I love Goodluck administration.
please no insults.
1. ECONOMY: Hmmmm, during the period of this man, Despite the corruption, He employed good technocrats who were able to to handle the economy: the likes of Okonjo-inweala, Labaran Maku, Sanusi, minister of agriculture, they perform to a very high percentage.
2. FREEDOM: During president Goodlucks regime, you are permitted to say your mind even against the president, there has never been any issue of media bill;
3. EDUCATION: During the regime of this man, He commisioned more than 12 FEDERAL UNIVERSITIES which 9 came from the northern part of Nigeria. Its really great indeed. God bless you sir.
4. HOUSE OF REP: whenever i watch those guys, i wish my main man was there, that is HON. PATRICK OBAHIAGBON, I love the man because of his grammatical competency and fluency, no wonder, Adams Oshiomole picked him and made him a minister. Patrick, I love your grammar,(cum gagantuan gaga,,, dismal pismal,,, sadonic, lugubrious,) etc. before i bite my tongue.
5.TOLERANCE: A gentle man who tolerate his people, you have never used any harsh word or attack on anybody, though you have bad advisers like, doyin okupe, anyim and so on. thanks sir for conceeding, you have saved many lives icluding me.
6. please add yours

Let me drop my keyboard here.
Its me MODENZY.

ladyF:
I hardly ever lose my temper. Even Proverbs 14:29 says "whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly". Anger no dey pay!

It's [size=15pt]LadyF[/size] again

LADY F.. WELDONE.

tosyne2much:
Original writer: Tosyne2much


http://tosyne2much..com/2016/02/10-statements-nigerian-guys-normally.html

oga Tosin

As a lady you may have wondered why men instinctively or not, touch their m*****d down there sometimes in public places. Well these reasons will clear your doubts.

Here are a few rather hilarious reasons why men constantly check out what’s going on down there:

1. We get itchy down there

Your junk gets itchy just like any other part of your body—and when it itches, it’s every bit as excruciating. (Even worse if you have jock itch, which is athlete’s foot on the groinal region.) It’s just a more noticeable area to scratch. I could have my eyes locked with a colleague talking about project deliverables while absent-mindedly itching my forearm, and she wouldn’t think anything of it. But substitute the forearm for my balls, and all of a sudden I’m an HR nightmare.

2. To keep it in place

I started wearing boxer-briefs around puberty to keep my junk in place, but that was only like plugging a hole in a dam with a handkerchief in that it only fleetingly solves the problem. Sometimes, it’ll be slung awkwardly to the right or the left, and it especially needs some adjusting anytime you move to cross your legs. If you cross your legs and your testicles aren’t in the right position, you’re liable to tweak something or downright crush it. I actually have this interesting situation where my balls go up into my pubic region pretty often, so I’ll have to slide my hand down my pants to push them back down from my gut. (I should probably ask a doctor about that. It seems abnormal.)

3. We sweat down there

Look: Your groin/taint area in underwear and jeans is subject to what is essentially a greenhouse effect. The groin and armpits are the warmest-running areas of the body, and when they’re encased in layers of cloth that don’t breathe very well, it perspires freely. And to try and find some modicum of comfort, we’ll shift things around down there. I call that the “Swamp Swap.”

4. We get erection in the public

When you get a boner in public and you’re standing up, you really only have two options: You can stand there with your tent pitched for everyone to see, which I would say is a bad move in about 98 percent of situations, or you can do the boner tuck. That’s when you tuck your erect member up into the waistband of your underwear and jeans so that others can’t tell that you’re hard as a rock. It’s super uncomfortable but a necessity.

5. We are used to touching it

Sometimes, there’s no reason at all for us to grab our jewels, but we do it because we’re used to doing it. (It’s like when I have a beard, I can’t help but stroke it incessantly. Or how if I meet a terrible person, I will try to date them. I do it without even noticing.) One of my friends sits around with his hand down his pants almost all the time. He says it’s just his go-to way to bask in leisure, that he knows it’s there and that it’s fine, but that he just likes to have his hand on or around it. It’s like a security blanket, I guess. Except it’s a man-hood.

6. We wanna be sure if it’s still there

Our junk is very important to us. Sometimes it’s nice to just give it a grasp so we know it’s still present and in good standing.

Let me drop my keyboard here.

Moderators over to you.

Elijahrona2:
The school na college of education. That's why his hiding it

NOT LIKE THAT BRO...... ITS A DEGREE PROGRAMME.

IS IT BECAUSE IT IS BUHARI?
- By Mustafa Yahaya

I marvel at the way and manner we think in this country, worst of it the way we think in the north. It is just a few months ago that we all continually lambasted president Jonathan's cluelessness, I referred to him as the "drunken master of Otuoke", and nobody harassed me, and now because they fear the power of the media that brought them to power they want to castrate the social media, with Buhari firing the first shot in an interview with Sahara reporters' Adeola in New York, why, is it because it is Buhari?
We demonstrated against pump price increment for petrol, government of president Buhari wants us to swallow the same pill we rejected a few months ago, yet some of my northern compatriots see nothing wrong with that, is it because it is Buhari?
When three sons of Sheik Zakzaky were murdered during the Jonathan administration, El-Rufa'i called it genocide by the jonathanian army, now under Buhari more than 200 are killed, their mosque and houses destroyed under Elrufai's nose as Governor of the same state, he has not called it genocide by the Buharian army, is it because it is Buhari?
Under the Jonathan administration subsidy payments were termed as fraud, and there were hues and cries to crucify oil marketers, Buhari even called it a fraud himself, we also thought so, Six months later the same Buhari is paying for subsidy yet nobody is calling it a fraud, why, is it because it is Buhari?
We criticized Jonathan for keeping a large fleet in the presidential fleet and wasting monies on maintenance, only recently President Buhari's spokesman admitted 2 billion Naira was spent on their maintenance, when other presidents are even doing away with their jets, yet we sit down and watch helplessly, is it because it Buhari?
Fuel scarcity is biting harder, value of the Naira is going rock bottom, inflation is now on auto pilot, while profits are dropping, purchasing powers are becoming weaker, yet we are asked not to query them, is it because it is Buhari?
If we criticized Jonathan for cluelessness, we will also criticize Buhari for helplessness. While tribal and regional jingoist see nothing because it is Buhari, what I see first is Nigeria and not whether Jonathan is a southerner or Buhari is a Northerner, we. Cannot continue to be trapped in the closet of tribalism, regionalism and religious bigotry yet expect our country to remain one and grow.
Yes! we might be of different orientation and background but what is good is good any where any time and what is bad is bad, I cannot be suffering and keep smiling because "my brother" is the president.

By Mustafa Yahaya

hiroz:
anyone in the university is no longer a kid...can't the students come together and approach the course adviser or HOD and demand to see your results,approach the office of the dean and V.C and lay you complains also..abi all of una dey fear,better speak up now and shake the department small otherwise when you finish your last year and expect to graduate,you will start hearing stories that touch....

Bro, we have done that but they keep telling us stories that it will soon be back from moderation.

viccozy:
Sorry bro....we at fedpoly oko,anambra state share ur pains.....tho nt 2 dis xtent of ur schl.

Thanks bro.

Have you ever received an email from a client, customer or coworker that was rude, irrational, demanding and unnecessary? Or had an employee make a costly mistake? Your first instinct may have been to react immediately — to angrily hit “reply” or chide your employee in front of the entire office.

Keeping your cool, especially during stressful situations, is one of the most important attributes of a good leader. These five tips will help you keep a clear head and an even temper, no matter how stressful your day.

1. Take a step back. Try to view the situation as a third party. Pretend you’re a representative of yourself and evaluate the problem from a logical point of view. An emotional reaction or angry tirade will almost never solve a dilemma. At best, losing your temper may cause an embarrassing situation and you may need to offer an apology for your behavior. At worst, you’ll intensify the situation and add to the list of consequences. Ask yourself, “Is this something I’ll still be angry about a year from now?” If not, let it go and move on. Many seasoned entrepreneurs will tell you that the things that used to upset them don’t even register on their radar anymore.

2. Be the voice of reason. When someone raises his or her voice to you, take a deep breath and remain calm. Keep your voice steady and speak at a normal pace. Most people will quickly realize they’re the only aggressor in the situation and will bring their voice and their temper back down. Some may even apologize for their outburst. At the same time, be prepared to apologize if you say something you didn't mean to say.

3. Think carefully before you speak. Once something comes out of your mouth, you can’t take it back. Saying hurtful or nasty things can be risky or dangerous to your professional reputation. It can also shatter your credibility. Watch what you say, how you say it, and where you say it. It’s best to confront someone in private, whenever possible.

4. Don’t take it personally. Entrepreneurs care deeply about their business and take extreme pride in their products and services. After all, they created the entire company from the ground up. Because of the emotion tied to your business, you may take negative feedback from customers as a personal attack. Instead, try to put yourself in your customers' shoes. You never know what kind of personal stressors someone may be dealing with on a daily basis. Try to practice patience and understanding and always treat everyone with the same level of respect you’d like to be shown.

5. Walk away. If you find a situation pushes you to your breaking point, step away until you can return with a clear mind. If you’re in the middle of an argument, simply tell the other person that you feel the conversation has gotten out of hand and you’d like to table the conversation for another time. Take time to calm down. Go outside and take a walk or take an hour and go to the gym. A break from the office and physical activity will help you relax. When you return to the problem, your fresh perspective will help you find the best solution.

6. add yours....

let me drop my keyboard here.
have nice day.

cosby02:
He doesn't need help i guess... He's just sharing his horrible experience.

SHEHU SHAGARI COLLEGE OF EDUCATION,SOKOTO. IN AFFILATION TO AHMADU BELLO UNIVERSITY ZARIA.

emmchi:
You ain't serious when the dust clears from your eyes,you ll tell us the name of the school.

SHEHU SHAGARI COLLEGE OF EDUCATION,SOKOTO. IN AFFILATION TO AHMADU BELLO UNIVERSITY ZARIA.

aylagos:
Since you are not proud of your so call School, you guys decerve not to see your results for life. Imagine a school you said you are attending and you can not tell us the name.

SHEHU SHAGARI COLLEGE OF EDUCATION,SOKOTO. IN AFFILATION TO AHMADU BELLO UNIVERSITY ZARIA.

missKiffy:
What's the name of the school

I HAVE MODIFIED IT

This issue keeps bothering me in particular, i have been in this school right from my level 100 till date I have not see my results. They keep telling us different stories that our result is on moderation. Now that we about to start our first semester exam of 300level, we dont know if we have any carryover to write..... we belong to one of the affiliated school in the north. Am bothered. Am educational discourage.

SHEHU SHAGARI COLLEGE OF EDUCATION,SOKOTO. IN AFFILATION TO AHMADU BELLO UNIVERSITY ZARIA.

please mods move this so that those guys will see it and try to release our result.

abuaoyen:
I agree with you

Thanks.

m guy....... nice write up

Femco2016:
9ice piece....that of first love taught me alot...i now have a complete self control,unlike when we started...it was, why you didn't pick my call?why this why that,but now i can now go on for a long time no hearing from each other and yet the bound is still strong.

YES BRO.... NICE 1

This are the list of people you should always remember to thank God for bringing them to your life, God is above all human beings. He is the giver of life, and that is why i didnt put him on the list, He has supremacy over the world.
let us go straight to the, because there is no time.

1. PARENTS: let us always appreciate our parents whom God has used to bring us to this world. lets appreciate our mum for it is not easy for our big heads to come out of that place...... . they take/took care of us from childhood to adulthood. Don't forget their prayers, good deeds, their encouragements, pocket money etc. if you have not been appreciating, please start today.

2. FRIENDS: I know we have different kinds of friends, but both the good and bad friends should be appreciated. that is why I like my bad friends "FABULOUS", DENZINO etc, though they are bad but i have learnt never to follow their footsteps. some bad friends are good in other aspect, so let appreciate them.

3. CRITICIZERS: I love this people, they will push you do extra ordinary things. They have been my source of encouragement: I remember when they mock me for not knowing mathematics, because of the critics I have to study mathematics night and day. Thank God i had "A" grade

4. PASTORS: Thank God for my pastor; despite our sins,womanizing, drinking, fraud, corruption etc., He will still pray that God should bless the church member. let us appreciate our men of God.

5. FIRST LOVE: always appreciate your first love even if you are not together. She has open your sense of hormone, she taught you everything, i.e how to kiss, s*x,and so on.
6. YOUR NEIGHBORS: Nobody lives in isolation, sometimes when we are in an abnormal situation, we tend to seek for the help of our neighbors and they are also ready to help when the need arises.

I NEED TO DROP MY KEYBOARD HERE.

LALASTICLALA ARE YOU HERE?

tosyne2much:
Brilliant and wonderful write-up.. OP, I throway salute oooo


This one wey my name follow feature for ur list

TOSYN, you na my guy....... anyday any moment.. arire barase

ifeomaekol:
Lack of money cn also cause one an embrassment----- wen u dnt hv money to do little things n everyone is like 'bring ur own na'------porverty is a disease.

IFEOMA.... THANKS

olulove:
.[email] . STEALING: when i say stealing, it is not related to picking someones property. therefore having sex without marriage is stealing, why? because you stole her vagina and used it. Did God permit you she shameful aspect of it is when you are caught Unclad... ask tosyne2much, i know he might be probably caught when he was in the world..... smiling.[/email]

Did she not steal tooo...

yes she did

ChappyChase:
I avoid number 2 like ebola, that thing can fall hand die... The rest I did very well including stealing! But you see exam malpractice, am so scared of doing it, even when a teacher gave me expo during my waec, I was so scared of writing it I ended giving the "chips" to a seat mate.... Well I had C6 in mathematics, *no ask me how I take do ham, cause I no know!*
As for bad grammar, I used to tell people "if you no sabi speak good english, speak pidgin!! Nobody go laugh you when you dey speak pidgin cause in pidgin, everything goes!"

you are right my guy

libertyfather:
I thought number 1 will be MONEY..... information uncompleted

OK BRO. THANKS