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When I bumped into a girl I used 2 say hello to and all, just asked me if I knew some1 she had slept with which happened 2 b my boyfriend @ dat time, so I found out he had cheated on me.

In as much as I agree with d above, I would still love 2 keep in touch wit my ex.

I still remember mine clearly.I think it would also be nice 2 know how those that were given the virginity, how they feel?

rockhaven:
this is a lesson to guys and babes.some lovers can only be exited to the discomfort of ur soul.when bonding has already taken place between lovers.it is best for them to remain together in spite of all defects.you beta go back to ur ex and tell him the way it is.the way u r going u may soon die.

what bonding r u talking about?

Diva1:
@Monicaa

I can relate to what you are saying. You did not heal properly before jumping into another relationship, more like a rebound relationship. Give yourself time to heal, there are a lot more wonderful guys, heal yourself before getting into another relationship.

Thanks for understanding Diva1, do u have any email,yim,msn,aim so may talk there?

Well i thought i would be understood but it's like i am not. Thank you anyways amebo no1 and 190 for ur advices.

amebo1 looking back, i feel ashamed too, sometimes when in love we act foolishly, i admit, i did a lot of silly things but this new guy i did not do anything wrong to him. This is my personal thought thinking have i lost him? we r still friends but he does not disturb me as before for an intimate relationship, that was why i was thinking maybe he has moved on. What am i doing wrong here?

190, you are talking like this because you do not really understand very well. Beg? for what? I did not do anything wrong. So my crime was being honest with him that i liked him but i am hurting too and we should take things slow for now? it was not even up to 3 months i broke up with my ex, before i met him so how is that?

The difference was my ex and I were in a relationship, this person we were not into the so called relationship. He liked me and told me, it was more like friends getting to know each other. He wanted to go so deep which involoved every emotion and i told him i liked him, i am here but this is the problem, and still sorting my head. I did not tell him to go but not to push me too much. That was all.

Maybe one day i might have to swallow my pride and ask him if he still likes me but i am scared of rejection and that would be another matter on its own if he tells me no or he has someone else to my face. That is another issue which i am trying to avoid that's why i'm holding my guard up and hope it is the right thing.

I don't blame my new lover. i was here actually asking what i should do because it seems he might have let go but i do not want to beg him or something but act normal. Beg him for what? to be with me? no. i'm only sad because i am beating myself i hope i did not lose a wonderful guy but at the same time God knows i was being honest with him and not playing him

I guess i will just have to forget him too. He is lucky i was honest and not playing him, i even told him even of we are not together, i would not want to lose him and i want to love him best way with my whole mind but maybe God has something else for me so

Maybe he loved me like he said and I think he loved me though we did not go so deep to also see his true colors. His actions did, he is a sweet guy but i was only honest to him that my mind is not really right but i liked him, that for the main time, he should be patient with me, we could do things but at the same time, I'm healing myself. That he should not push me too much like maybe saying "I love you" and all, that in time it will be better, but he kept thinking i did not like him.

190, we are not fighting. Begging him would make me look desperate. I told him how much i liked him but could not commit well because I was hurting too, that he should be here with me, that mayb with time, it would be better but it was like he felt I didn't like him which i did.

Told him we had problems, he was not treating me well, that for me to move on, I needed time to sort my head but i did not want to lose him too.

,amebo no1:
did you tell the new guy wat ur ex did to u, the cheating and co?

No i did not. I felt too humilated to tell him. I just told him we had problems and he broke up with me.

,amebo no1:
nope it is not natural to still love a man dat cheated on you, told u off ,and stores a girls pics on his fone, told u he has no feelings for u, never apologises when he offends you, IT IS DAMN WELL NOT NATURAL TO STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR A MAN WHO DOES NOT APPRECIATE A WOMAN,
monicaaa there are somethings a man will do to a woman that will make her drop d love she has for him, there is nothing like, it is natural

I do not love my ex again but I still remember him. I wish i was like you to make it easier for me. Maybe I should just forget this wonderful guy too and be on my own or, i do not know.

Why i do not want to apologise because if he really cared, he would have known i was going through emotional torture, i told him about how much i loved my ex and all and I liked him but for me to give him my all, to give me time to sort my head but maybe he did not really get that. I did not even offend him, i was honest with him. We are friends and noce to each other but it seems that is where it ends that he has accepted and moved on.

Do you all hate me? why? what have i done? I'm here talking of a wonderful guy i seem to have lost not my ex so pls advise me. Take it easy,pls.

,amebo no1:
i have told you before, this ex of yours will render your life useless, still missing a man dats cheated on you and told you that he has no feelings for you ,ís crazy

keep missing him, and may you continue to lose many good guy cos of him, until u r left old, grey, lonely and frustrated, then u will leanr to love with your head not ur heart

I have accepted I would not be with my ex again. This is emotions. do u think i like the fact i still have feelings and love my ex, no i do not like that but it is natural. Those are feelings. I want to love again but i do not want to deceive anyone that was why i told this guy to give me space to sort my head but it is like he has accepted it and moved on. I don't know if i should just forget this wonderful guy if he has or what?

Re: Is the cliche "Time Heals" really true?  https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-281050.0.html

Now the loving guy I had lost because I was still missing my ex, i seem to want him now but it looks like he does not want again. I'm so frustrated because amongst all the guys, he was the one that was able to hold me after my ex and now I feel I have lost a wonderful guy. Should I just take my mind off him and maybe have the mind for someone else entirely? Pls help and advise on what to do?

This wonderful guy has liked me since but i kept bringing my ex in the matter that i loved my ex, he could wait for me to heal my heart but now it is like he has accepted and maybe moved on. I dont know what to do.

I think it goes both ways, sometimes i wish i had never fallen in love but how can i pass through this life and not experience the wonderful feeling when it was good.

Igwe.:
If I got the post right as in when one voluntarily refused to fall in love or have anything to do with the opposite sex, then I'd say it works in two ways, some people have lost their memories or even their life out of heartbroken while some have made the greatest mistakes of their life rejecting their Mr. rights and ended up with bullies. whatever your reasons may be. in either cases, you only have to define exactly what you want in life, work towards it , it beats me to see some girls do things just out of peer pressure.
To love and beloved is cool if you 'd love with your brain but not foolishly.

Regards,

Right

It is true we learn from experiences no doubt but how about those that have not and would not be able to heal from such, some have even resorted to suicide. what can be said about them? It makes you learn but can also change your outlook on life.

I am trying to figure out of it is actually better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Look at most of the aftermath of lost love, it makes one so bitter, cruel, evil, sad, depressed, much more compared to someone that may have never loved before.

Better be ready to get played too by angry females that have gotten their hearts broken by your fellow men.

C2H5OH:
na that's just what we like telling ourselves to help us feel better .

is that so? so more like it's not true?

biola44:
yes, especially in cases u were not responsible 4 d disappointment,

True

whitelexi:
Ditto

I was made redundant in my role last yr [as a result of the credit crunch], and i thought it was all over but within a week's period in unemployment, i was offered a new role in a well respected institution [without an application] in such circumstances that i could not say no. The pay was double my previous role, the workload was like half of the previous one, there are so many perks including a free gym and anti-stress membership - now i get a massage like twice a week and i shed so much weight that i'm now slimmer than when i originally arrived the UK and silly people like startruck would readily swallow their words if they saw me now

lol congrats, a blessing indeed

In most cases, yes.I would use myself to testify. I met someone much much better than an ex of mine though i stil miss myex as a person, but my new relationship was something i neva could have imagined.

Thanks You all.

Treetop20:
it is normal to feel this way. you have to make yourself give someone else a chance
it has to be an effort you will have to make. you find out that feelings don't come as easily as they used to
you have to work on it. no other man will hold you the way he does or look at you the same way he used to
nothing he did with you will be the exact same with another man. comparing is time wasting.
I also know that you aren't sitting at home waiting for him either. you know you have to move on but how to do it
is what you are asking and you are wondering when that "complete move on will happen"

Yeah I decided to move on since, it's been a while but sometimes I feel I'm back to square one, like it was just yesterday. I have to learn to stop comparing.