₦airaland Forum

Questions for some muslims, if you were born a christian, would you still follow the doctrines of islam nd believe in it nd vice versa for the christians as well?

Having faith in things and situations that sometimes seem impossible or difficult can be very hard and a little frustrating at times, that was the purpose of this topic so people especially atheists stop doubting, but we just have to keep believing and have faith.

LOL @ the both of you, following my style?

Grey color should be the best fit?

ifyalways:
@Poster,no one can spoil or ruin ur emotional life without ur consent. . .direct or indriectly.First off,ur first love is a cheat,that rules him out. . .Unless u are willing to live with and marry a cheat cos he WONT change even after marriage.
Monicaa,Not dating does not make u less a woman ! Keep ur head up and walk tall,the right man wud come.Dont even think of going back to ur ex,it wud help massage his ego and believe u me,he wud get worse now with his cheating ways BUT however,if he comes back as a changed man,u can still give him a trail. . .u said u still have feelings for him.
Dont close the door of love,lock out urself or appear desperate,love lives in strange places.Use this opportunity to focus on ur life/career,take good care of urself,go out, have fun,meet new and intresting ppl,u surely wud attract the right man if u carry a positive outlook and carriage.

I wonder y it feels so hard but Thank u Ifyalways 4 this.


gen2genius, thank u too nd yes i agree if he did want me too, he should have tried 2 communicate with me.

Ifyalways, do u mind taking a look at some of my posts @ d romance section. u seem matured in some of ur posts. Thanks

Holly hun, thanks 4 wanting 2 see me happy

My ex doesnt drive me crazy, i just happened be in love with him so much, even if i wanted 2 go back 2 him, we r not even communicating, tha's why i'm in silence or here for advice. It was not only the cheating, he was nice nd bad at times, respectful at times too. he actually did me wrong in so many ways not just the cheating part but some guys too i'm meeting seem 2 have some of those attributes while others, i just do not have feelings @ all. if anything, it is up to him if he wants me so if it's not happening, i guess it might be a closing/closed chapter.

gen2genius:
Sorry, but aren't you being unrealistic here? How do you expect him to see her - like someone who knows what she's doing? See, this is a reality of life: whether you're a man or woman, the moment you begin to act like you can't do without someone or that it's the person that holds the key to your happiness and fulfilment in life, you risk becoming the person's slave!

@ Monica. . .I'm not saying you shouldn't go back to him or anyone else, but bear that fact in mind as you take the decision

seems true. God help me

JJYOU:
get on with your life. you are trying to make a point to yourself even if you have to lie to yourself in the process. is he really worth it?

no one is big enough to make you stop living. get on with it life is tough.

Thanks, i really need this.

pej:
dear monicaa,hw r u.i hv a question 4 u.hw do u really kno ur guy?is he a kind of a temperminded man.wel if u still love him or hv dat same feelings 4 him as u said.give it a trial,dont think or guest but make a step.i wod like 2talk 2 u on phn.my numbers 08039270871.bye

Hey pej, monicaa is ok. my ex nd I r not even in talking terms or communicating now even if i wanted to.

gen2genius:
Seriously, I don't think this is about your ex; I think it's about YOU. You're doing as if you can't survive without a man. And that's why you seem to be falling into the wrong hands. If I were you, I'd get a grip on my emotions, take my mind off relationships and focus more on myself, my career and other things that matter to me. I'd have a positive, independent attitude to life and by and by, I'd regain my confidence and self-esteem. That way, things would definitely change for the better

If you don't check that tendency to always look for some man to lean on, men will continue to take advantage of you. Forget your ex and any other man for now and concentrate on yourself. Develop your mind. Be strong!

Honestly i can survive without a man, but we r human beings now with emotions, u know. But as u said, i think the best though it has been so long, is for me 2 get a grip on my emotions nd just be me. It's just that no matter what, i alws come across guys, anywhere nd everywherend don't want to lose some1 that could have been potential.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-289891.0.html

i have been writing some posts about still having feelings 4 my ex though it has been so long nd he did treat not so well in terms of honestly nd fidelity but he never laid his hands on me. i keep telling my self i deserve better nd since i am a good woman, i would meet someone better though i did, but had to end it because of feelings for my ex.

After i told my ex, i was moving on, nd hopefully, i meet some1 better, it is not happening. Instead i'm meeting worse people that r still the same, lying nd others. He doesn't know, im sure if he did, he would be laughing nd see me as d loser here.

There is a guy that has been disturbing me since only 4 me to find out yesterday he had a girl friend nd he is still denying it. Honestly im scared of being in a relationship now or sumwhat. It makes me feel that though my ex wasn't all that good 2 me, i'm still on the losing side, meeting some jerks nd some others, i have no real feelings. My ex has really spoilt my emotional life 4 me. pls any advice?

,

Hollysmile:
Monicaaaaaaaa!
Where've u been?

Hollyyyyyyyy!!
I've been here nd around. how u doin?

Thanks all that contributed.


Here is the new problem now, since my ex did me wrong nd i told him i was moving on nd would find someone that would treat me better but now I'm guessing it is wrong. There is a guy that has been disturbing me only 4 me 2 find out he has a girlfriend but im yet 2 confirm 4rm him which i would 2moro. That's d difficulty making me let go of my ex even though the relationship wasnt all dat, at least most guys r d same.

@Izeek, what if the relationship is actually long like a year or more, where does desperation come in?

Pls all in d house, I've been seeing people talk about desperation nd love. How can one tell, when a partner loves u so much nd differ it from desperation? As 4 for d guyz, we women r emotional creatures so how can u tell/know when she is being desperate and when she just loves u so much?

I remember I had an issue with an ex where wheneva I'm trying 2 express my feelings, he says I'm disrespecting him when I can't even see it whereas I don't want 2 suffer in silence. How much respect can u give a man without seeing as a doormat?

ezinne1212:
I wish you the best, i really do. You've chosen a path that i decided wasn't healthy for me. I decided to focus more on me, because if that wasn't in order i wouldn't respect the right guy if he came along and would probably choose someone like my ex all over again. I'm sure you know what you're looking for and if this is the best option for you to heal, then all i can say is thread wisely.

I quite agree with u, maybe u r misunderstanding me. I know i deserve sum1 better than him, i'm just battling with my feelings 4 him becos it's been so long n yet feelings 4 him r still there with me. i want sum1 else but not just any1, sum1 dat wud make me think less of him, mayb i'm just being impatient or skeptic about d future, but like u, i have 2 believe d right 1 wud come around.

ezinne1212:
I hate to break it to you, but by holding on to someone who you know didn't treat you right, you are settling for less. My dear, free yourself before it's to late. Don't say you're waiting for someone better, you're just making the same mistakes. Do some soul searching!

I have done some soul searching, it's been so long but he had his good side nd bad side. There r worse guys out there, when I say some1 better, i mean some1 I could love too better which i believe is d only way i can get him off my mind 4eva or close to without thinking too much of him. We know we can't force love on ourselves 2 love sum1, it has 2 come naturally.

crazykid:
If you still love him, why not tell him how you feel. . .
Why suffer in silence when the solution is right in front of you

This is some1 dat has humilated me with my love, how else can I show him, than wait in silence nd see d future.

ezinne1212:
I believe you still see an avenue open for you and your ex, i guess that's why you're undecided about still moving-on and having moved-on. My ex got another girl pregnant, and tried to run. Later i found out he was trying to stop being an asshole and be committed to me. The girl came to me knowing this , and i helped her out without saying to much and told him to take care of his child. After 2 years he called me when they were about to have their second child and thanked me for doing what i did. I smile now because at least i know that the good i saw in him, was there, life's not perfect. I talk to his wife, we're friends , such is life. Am i bitter, i was in the beginning, but i think i did good, i have no regrets, i hope for the best for us all.

Moral of the story for you, my chapter is closed. Now i trust my instincts and i'll keep going till i'm with the one meant for me. Dig deep and ask yourself if that's the same for you? if it's not, don't deceive yourself, finish what you started regardless of what happened, else you won't ever open your heart or mind to someone else.

U r a strong lady nd I commend u for such, I want 2 think dat way but so fa d people I've dated rnt beter than him yet, nd i don't want 2 wait 4eva. I really still love him but if it's not meant 2 b, then i guess it wouldn't be, but I really don't want 2 settle 4 less 2 make me let go of him completely.

topup:
[color=#008855]
Well, I believe you should start with honesty. It isn't a crime to admit that you are harbouring feelings that a lot of people here will judge you for. Hey!! You're only human. However, what are the reasons for you wanting to re-consider the relationship??

Is it because you haven't found another guy to replace him??

From your posts (if I remember correctly) - he deserved to be let go, you did the right thing, and we here on Nairaland were ready to offer support for you to restore yourself, so it's a little confusing.

I don't want to be a hypocryte, because I've been there before, but in all honesty, you should try and make a decision, don't waver too much because even he won't take you seriously. Make your decision, make a list if you must, of why you think the relationship was better broken off and why you think it'll be all worth the hassle stress and confusion to try and re-open the healing wounds.

I think if you're honest, you'll be able to rationally convince your heart that bit longer that you are better off without him.

Everytime you feel weak, come on Nairaland, I'm sure others will advise you on ways to move on.

Alternatively, if you discard everything and decide to do a U-turn, you can just follow your heart, because I doubt anyone here will be able to give you a rational reason as to why you should go back to a failed relationship.
[/color]

[color=#008855]Things like this confuse me, because the impression I got was that you made a rational decision in breaking-up with him and that you knew deep down inside that you were better off. Yes, that feeling fades over time, but the reasons should still be there.

If you feel like you've misrepresented the guy or your relationship and you believe it was really special and definitely worth fighting for, this is your chance to convey that, but until you do, most people will say the same as what's above (iice & ezinne1212).
[/color]

Honestly, I haven't seen someone that can replace him yet, much better, as much as I loved him, I don't want to settle 4 less. I want something much better than him, that's the only way I feel I might get over him, but it just hasn't happened, making me think nd believe he might have been d best.
I know the relationship was not all that great nd I deserve better, like u said, I should not deceive myself, I love him but i know if I meet someone higher than him, it would fade away making me believe that's d only way I can let go of him.

I really wish he did, but at this point, it's sad 2 say it's true, he's really dead (sobs)

@alfchye, thanks 4 ur prayer lol. I have moved on I think.

@ezinne1212, I'm moving on or have moved on, but I still gat love 4 him.

@Iice, u cud be right I haven't moved on, but it's been long nd I've dated sum1 else nd still meeting pple but it's like he is still @ d top. U said once a decision is made, it's made but y do sum couples reconcile nd get back afta breaking up? I don't think in all cases 1ce a decision is made, it's made, sum things cud have been said @ d heat of d moment.

@ezinne1212, it feels gud 2 kno dat u hav been in d same situation I'm in right now. I am moving on nd dated others but my ex is still @ d top, d only one I've truly loved even though we didn't end on gud terms mainly caused by him.

Though I am really moving on or moved on because it's been long, I know I still have feelings 4 my ex. I sumtimes wonder even "IF" it was possible we cud get back 2geda or work things out, how possible is that? After I had told him I was healing nd moving on? How likely/possible is that? Wouldn't he already think I'm moving on nd may not want 2 consider again? Pls anybody with sum thuts?

If this is true, Thank God. He belongs to heaven, let him finally rest in peace.

After Michael's death nd so much catastrophies, I feel maybe endtime is near or sumthing. Does any1 feel me on this?