₦airaland Forum

Nija is good at that.....oya!!! Mathematicians where una dey

we go still hear ham

let the bullet come first and see if a go take ham









But pls ooo..wetin she go do wey go warrant bullet?

chuks04:
Dear NL,

Pls I need an advice. I have in mind of quitting my present job n use my savings(900k) for a transportation business probably geting a 14seater bus to ply within Lagos. I also want to drive this bus by myself.

Which way can I run ds biz dat it will not affect my person.(thinking about danfo drivers attitude).
Will it b more profitable for some 1 already earning 250k per month but doesn't time for himself n family.

Pls I need some advice from u guys. God bless.

Im planning the same bro, But agbero are the problem oo.but I advice u to go ahead.

tinuolababy:
so so sad

very sad baby

following!!!!

lol....I need Ibadan own oo

Mrstan:
U are very s**p*d 4 referin 2 all pdp membaz as thug..... Na ya family membaz be thug!

Yabaleftis

All PDP members are thugs










PDP is. Breeding dogs since 1999

shyna01:
your grammar tho...

#grammarpolice

so how does that change your foolishness ?

Splendblex:
Is that love or what?

me too dnt know what to call it oo

pls let help this man

meanwhile help me tell them to stop disturbing me with the stup.id call ooo






don't need their call ok?

yuncka:
MB wasted can never be recovered.

hunnmmn,what about the space you wasted?


meanwhile GEJ till 2015

Ediskcab:
Hmmmmmmm!!!!!!!

Quite hilarious and thought provoking.

@op, hope you are ready for some e-bashing cos it's dangerous to speak the truth these days.

lol...bro you are right ooo

fear don dey catch me

Mr. Presidooooo, How are you doing?

I hope the cooks at Aso-Rock are well using our millions of Naira to prepare nice meals for you.

We really do not care if we have food to eat or not; all we want is that you are well fed so you will have the mental strength to think about Nigeria. I hope your daughters are doing so well?

Since over 200 young girls have been abducted without any plans to get them back, we do not want anything to happen to your daughters. Since you cannot keep our sisters safe, we pray you are able to keep your daughters.

I hope Abuja is still in perfect shape. Please continue to take care of it, so that it does not become like most cities in Nigeria without basic amenities.

In my city, we do not know what pipe-borne water is. I must confess that I admire your neatly-ironed dresses. Your laundry-man must be using a generator, because I rarely get electric power to iron my second-hand clothes.

Even to get charcoal to put in my grand-fathers charcoal iron is a problem because charcoal is now more expensive than gold. How is our first lady doing?

I hope she is thinking about the millions of second ladies in the country. I heard she has an office in the presidential villa. I wonder when elections into the office of the first lady were conducted.

I really do not listen to news. I have a suggestion I want to make. I hope you consider it patiently. I think you should set up a committee that will start importing caskets from outside the country.

It will help a lot. Since you cannot stop the everyday bombings and slaughtering, it will be good if you provide caskets for the burial of the body or ashes of your people. What else can you do for them?

And talking about the 2015 elections, Mr President, I know that you will not contest. I just know that you will not. I know you are a very good man. You certainly will not allow us dance naked under the sun for another four years of our lives.

Mr President, I will drop my borrowed pen here, because the owner is already asking for it (a twenty Naira pen is a treasure these days).

I hope to write you another letter when I get a pen to steal from my course-mate. You and I know that stealing is a normal thing in Nigeria. You know what I am talking about.

Tell our mama Pepey that I send my greetings o.

Till I write again!

Your pikin.

Aburo hapi birthday












but u sabi lie ooo.....28?

I PRAY MAKE DROGBA NO PLAY OOO

Fit2Rule:
Louis XIV (1638-1715), King of France, the Sun King, had an unfortunate experience while putting on a sock: his toe fell off. Was this because he was not in the habit of bathing? He built the Palace at Versailles without bathrooms and toilets, and apparently had only three [/b]baths in his entire life. It might be even worse than Senior Moments think. 'Louis's washing consisted of rubbing his face with cotton soaked in diluted, scented alcohol and dipping
his fingertips in a bowl - washing in water was considered dangerous to one's health. Relying on primary sources, he only bathed [b]twice in his life, when his doctors prescribed a bath. Louis was usually only powdered from head to toe with perfumed powder, several times a day.'
He suffered from gangrene, but refused an amputation, which is how his toe was found in his sock one day.

I dnt beliv u again...

I got this on friend's facebook and I see it as real and interesting.

1.The Sadist - Most students are scared of him. He comes to class, threatens
everyone, you rarely see him smile, always serious with a straight face. He never gives an 'A' and when result comes out, his courses are always mass failure. He is usually the most hated lecturer.

2.The comedian - He is more or less a stand-up comedian. Always lively, students look forward to his laugher-filled lectures but once taken for granted, he can be shocking. He is usually stingy with marks/ grades.

3.The Student lecturers - Also known as Assistant lecturers. They usually start as errand boys to some top lecturers in the department, they mark exam scripts, invigilate during tests & exams and later graduate to helping the lecturers with some of their lectures. They are usually hyperactive, aggressive and proud which usually results into a clash with the students.

4.The Crazy Lecturer - He rarely smiles, does things in an unusual manner
including ways of speaking(with big grammar like Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon), a
funny dress sense(with long bling-bling chains like Ayo Oritsejafor). He is always REAL and serious, doesn't care what his students feels or think about him, highly unpredictable and lectures for 3/4hrs until the students complains.

5.The Fatherly Lecturer - He is always matured, homely, approachable, and
friendly. He takes his time to extensively teach his students in such a way that once you fail his course, you know that you truly deserve to fail. He is students' favourite.

6.The Lazy Lecturer - He comes to class twice in a semester(One, for course
introduction & later, for revision, a week to Exams). He doesn't lecture nor teach, he only comes to read out loud while the students listen. He doesn't care if you understand or not, and 15 or 20mins, he is done for the day's lecture.

7.The 'Runs' lecturer - He comes to class, gives shabby lectures and drop his mobile digits or his errand boy's digits(The coded students knows what to do). # 5kfor 'C', # 8kfor 'B' and # 10kfor 'A' depending on the importance or Unit of the course.

8.The Departmental dog - Woman wrapper. He takes advantage of any
vulnerable female student, it doesn't matter how young she is, the sex addict
just want to get laid at the slightest opportunity. Hide your babe, sister,
daughter from him.

9.The story teller - 90% of his lecture is the story about his days in the University and how serious/dedicated they were those days + how he still consult his 1973 lecture notebook. He talks about how bad the Gov't and the school management is, especially if he is an ardent ASUU member.
He usually receive at least 10 phone calls within a lecture.

10a.The Religion fanatic (Daddy G.O) - This type of lecturer comes to class to chip in the Gospel within his lecture, inviting the entire class to his church & mid week programmes. He is always gentle & Godly.

10b.The Religion fanatic (Mallam) - He comes to class and usually separates the female students from the male students before his lecture begins. He looks gentle and you don't need to be told before you know he is a muslim. Take him for granted and you will pay dearly for it.

am I missing any other category?

its true that Nigerians are clowns!!!

fireforfire:
lol.... its a wake up call for u . so try visit one country even if na gabon

those countries are overrated jare...


-im making my money here,have my house,car and family

-carry fyn babes here

-can walk around anytime I feel like

-no fear of deportation

why visiting there?

Jarus:
Many village travelogues have made NL front page. One guy posted his road trip to Enugu and it made NL hp some months back.

good will post mine too thankx

I will create a thread tomorrow and its gonna be 'Nairalander journey to his Village' let see if is gonna make frontpage cos I dnt understand our Moderators again,seems they recognize members travelling out of the country than we local guys.

so Nairaland is full on small pikins sa.

Let me quickly finish reading the hymn book i will come back and comment


Meanwhile Zuma should release our 9.3million dollar

Thats why I encourage sex before Marriage







But some gullible followers will call it sin meanwhile the pastor tasted his wife bfre marriage oo

Liar!!!!!!







sebi u say u bi female abi u bi lesbian

why u too no join Nairaland politic









anyway its 11:20pm
Gudbye we shall see no more
R.I.P

yes...u can kill camel for sallah but Ram is more accepted by God




but nawa for Agege people ooo una neva see rich man before or na camel una neva see bfre ni?? why so much people watching

aye nse eee