₦airaland Forum

A newlywed bride and groom who had sex with another couple on their honeymoon say swinging has brought them closer together since they tied the knot.

Lee Blackley, 31, and Terri Blackley, 27, got married in May after three years of dating and say their wedding day was the happiest moment of his life.

The cheeky couple, who began swinging while they were dating, said they have no plans to stop their illicit encounters with other couples and their 'unicorn' - a woman who they sleep with together.

The Blackleys, from Lowestoft, Suffolk, say swinging reinforces their relationship - and they even enjoyed a four-way dalliance on their honeymoon in Spain.

But the pair do have strict rules on what they can and can't get up to with strangers while in the bedroom - including no kissing.

Terri said: "We were on our honeymoon and found another couple.

"We talked a bit online and met them on the last night of our honeymoon. We thought 'let's just do it'."

Factory worker Lee added: "For me, I want to know that another man's wife means as much to him as mine does to me.

"The fact that we're married probably makes us more attractive to other couples."

After the couple tied the knot, they decided they would continue swinging, meeting up with another couple on the last night of their honeymoon.

Lee said that the night of passion acted as a kind of 'blessing' for their new marriage and that after their first post-marital "swing" the bond between the two felt stronger.

Lee, who works in manufacturing, said: "Before we started, we thought that swingers were just old people who had massive orgies.

"But the truth is there are a lot of young people who are swingers, which a lot of people don't realise.

"There's a lot of stigma towards it but there shouldn't be.

"At the end of the day, it's something that takes place between consenting adults behind closed doors. What's the problem?"

Lee says it was Terri who first introduced him to the idea of swinging, which the pair describe as a 'social exercise'.

After she suggested a party, they began speaking to an older woman online.

Eventually, after weeks of talking, the couple met the woman in a hotel bar for a date.

Terri admitted despite her initial enthusiasm, she was worried about sharing her husband with another woman.

But Lee said their first swinging experience brought them closer together.

Terri said: "I suggested a party as an idea and we got talking about it more and more.

"We joined a swingers website and got talking to a lot of people. We talked to a woman who was a bit older than us.

"Before, I kept thinking that he wouldn't love me and was wondering if he would still find me attractive.

"But, our partner for the evening was great, there was no pressure at all.

"When we got to the bedroom I started kissing her and then it just escalated from there."

Lee said: "We met her to see where it went. Sex wasn't guaranteed. The date was really good, she was really good company.

"She asked us to come up to the room and we looked at each other and said 'let's do this'

"It was our first time so obviously we were nervous.

"When it was over I looked at Terri and thought 'I love you'.

"It was very uplifting. When we got home we had the most passionate sex we'd ever had.

"Being with another person made us appreciate one another even more."

Now, Terri and Lee say they want to continue swinging while married but have jointly imposed strict rules about what they can and can't get up to in the bedroom.

They also meet up with their 'unicorn' - a bisexual woman who the couple swing with - once a month as well as occasionally other couples but tend to pair up with couples who they know.

Lee said that wearing condoms and regular STI checks are also a must and that the couple have decided never to 'swing' at home.

Terri said: "We don't kiss other people. I only kiss my husband.

"Sex is sex but kissing is something that happens just between the two of us.

"Drink and drugs are also an absolute no.

"When we're with another couple we make sure that's everyone's comfortable.

"We also know when we look at each other if we're feeling OK. We always have a code word too."

Lee added: "We don't have swingers in our home, we go to the other people's home or a hotel.

"We have dinner and drinks before we start, it's a very social thing.

"We go to clubs and have perfectly normal conservations about everyday things, we don't just talk about sex all the time."

The pair, who have children from previous relationships, said that they haven't yet told them about their swinging.

They added that while they're not afraid to discuss swinging openly, they have encountered prejudice from some people and even fallen out with family members.

Terri, who produces a podcast on life as a Player said: "We won't talk about it till they're older.

"I think they'd would be open and honest and that they would understand.

"We love each other more than we can say. Swinging is just something we do and something that we enjoy.

"People always have assumptions and judgements.

"We want to get rid of the stigma. We're open and very sexual people.

"We've got no shame and shouldn't have to hide who we are but at the same time we don't thrust our lives into people's faces.

"We live in a small town and people do talk. It shouldn't be something that's taboo.

"At the end of the day, swinging is no different to normal everyday sex."

The Catholic Church has distanced itself from the Spiritual Director of the Adoration Ministry, Enugu, Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka, over his perceived politically charged statements.

In a video that has since gone viral, Mbaka was seen telling the vice presidential candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party, Peter Obi, during the annual harvest and bazaar celebration of the church on Sunday, that neither the PDP presidential candidate, Atiku Abubakar, nor President Muhammadu Buhari of the All Progressives Congress, would win the 2019 presidential election.

Addressing Obi in Igbo, Mbaka said, “(Former) governor, listen, so that we won’t be deceiving God. As you are standing in the presence of these children of God, tell God what you will do for Him. It means you don’t want to do anything for God.

“Let me believe in fear, but this is a political statement. God hates stinginess. What I am saying is not for your pleasure. I am saying what will save your life, otherwise you and Atiku will fail. The way you and Atiku are moving will end in shame.”

But the Director of Communications, Catholic Diocese of Enugu, Rev. Fr. Benjamin Achi, in an interview with The PUNCH, said the diocese was not in support of the cleric’s remarks.

When asked if Mbaka was still a member of the diocese, Achi said, “He is.”

He, however, noted that it was wrong for priests to make political statements from the pulpit.

Achi said, “The diocese is not in support of any priest making political statements.

“The church is supposed to be apolitical and the Bishops’ conference has said that repeatedly.

“We are not supposed to make any political statements from the pulpit within the context of Mass, that is, church service.

“So, it would be wrong to stand at the pulpit to make any political statements.

“There is a document issued by the Bishops’ conference to that effect.

“So, he just spoke on his own, not representing the diocese.”

“We are not expected to come out openly to support a particular candidate for any reason. The church law does not accept such a thing. So, it would be wrong for anybody (priest) to come out and give an endorsement to a particular candidate.”

Achi noted that if necessary, disciplinary action against Mbaka would be carried out by the priest’s administrative head.

The Anambra State Police Command on Saturday night raided a brothel on Ring Road, Enugwu-Ukwu in the Njikoka Local Government Area of Anambra State.

The policemen arrested underage sex workers allegedly being patronised by old men in the area to catch fun.

The brothel, which the operators allegedly disguised as a restaurant, Southern City News gathered, was raided following a tip-off by concerned indigenes of the community.

A community leader in the area, who pleaded anonymity, told our correspondent, “We can’t be here and allow such iniquity to be happening under our watch. You need to see the level of sins these young girls and old men commit in that place on a daily basis.

“That was why we alerted the police. The brothel was sealed after the raid, while some suspects were whisked away to the state Criminal Investigation Department, Awka, the state capital.”

Southern City News learnt on Sunday that the raid followed a joint petition by the Enugwu-Ukwu traditional authority and the Enugwu-Ukwu Community Development Union to the police headquarters in Awka decrying the activities of the brothel and its patrons.

The petition stated that passers-by on the Ring Road, Enugwu-Ukwu, were being harassed and embarrassed by underage commercial sex workers.

The President-General of the union, Bonny Ozo-Nkwuaku, who supervised the raid, warned that Enugwu-Ukwu had no place for such an illegal act.

He said the development had bred criminality and moral decadence among the youth in the area.

He stated, “Enugwu-Ukwu people are known for their industry and enterprise. We live very decent lives and we are law-abiding. We cannot tolerate such an illicit business in our community.

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“We have also discovered that most of the commercial sex workers and their patrons are not from Enugwu-Ukwu; we can’t allow them to come here and soil the name of our town.”

The National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control says it has destroyed substandard and falsified medicines, unsafe drugs and unwholesome food and chemicals worth N3bn in the last one year.

The agency also revealed that it had seized tramadol with a street value of N198bn and would set the products ablaze soon.

The Director General, NAFDAC, Prof. Moji Adeyeye, said this while delivering her speech at an event held in commemoration of her one year in office in Abuja on Friday.

Adeyeye said through the support of the Presidency, Office of the National Security Adviser and her incessant awareness campaign about the implications of absence of NAFDAC at the ports, NAFDAC was returned to the ports in May 2018 and improvements were soon recorded.

She said, “The agency has seized and destroyed substandard and falsified medicines and unsafe drugs worth over N3bn that included unwholesome foods and other unregulated products in the last one year.

“We intercepted and destroyed 25 containers of tramadol worth N1.7bn

“There is a plan underway to destroy more than 30 containers of tramadol and other unregistered products worth more than N198bn on the street. Three persons involved in the distribution of the banned tramadol have been arraigned at the Federal High Court in Lagos.”

The NAFDAC boss said had the tramadol infiltrated the Nigerian market, it would have caused a national security issue as youths addicted to the substance would have taken to violent crimes such as armed robbery and insurgency.

Adeyeye said when she took over at NAFDAC a year ago, the agency was in debt to the tune of N3.2bn, mainly due to the non-payment of withholding tax to the Federal Government.

She said the agency was able to clear the entire debt within one year due to proper financial management.

The NAFDAC boss added, “Our Ports Inspection Directorate had been able to recover N533m of evaded administrative charges from stakeholders unpaid from 2014 to 2017.

Adeyeye said NAFDAC under her leadership was able to clear a backlog of 6,000 applications for registration of products.

She said the agency would on December 15 begin online registration for drug and food approvals.

Many women who are single and in their mid and late 30s today never saw it coming. They had a plan: finish their first degree, masters, a job, a promotion, make money, be independent and settle down by 30, latest 32. Of course, nature always laughs back at their fantastic attempt to dictate the pace of their lives.

Over the years, they turn down potential husbands, go on a partying spree like they have frozen time, only to arrive at 37 with nothing to show for it other than money in the bank, a car, and sometimes a child from a relationship that never quite worked.

So, now they are stuck in a phase where they will never find a man of their dreams and have to settle for any man who will be gracious enough to even suggest marriage. By now, all those flimsy and shallow standards they used to have are gone, humility is their second name.

I have seen many women in their 20s buy into the misguided, feminist belief that men and marriage are bad for their academic and career advancement. What feminism does not factor in is that the older a woman get, the less a chance she stands of marrying someone desirable. It is a fact of life, not a chauvinistically inspired thought.

Very few men would marry a 35-year-old woman who is independent and opinionated when we live in a highly hypergamous (act of marrying someone wealthier than you) society. There are plenty of young and hot beautiful women ready to settle into a marriage where they play the second fiddle as long as the man provides.

It is good to be ambitious, even better to break the stupid glass ceilings, but at what price? Bottom line, at some point, you will need a man in your life. Granted there are lesbians and some who are not interested in marriage, but my experience with older single women has proven that they mostly live a life full of regrets.

This might sound crazy but over the years, I’ve realized that I don’t really mind if a guy cheats as long as he still loves, respects and performs his duty as a partner. It is something I’m going to discuss with my husband in future. I don’t like secrets. Unpopular opinion.

This is not even about self esteem. Far from it. And yes, someone can love you and still have sexual inter course with another person. And I still need his attention. That is the most important. We still have to retain the attention we give one another. My opinion please.

I didn't win #6 rings like @jumpman23 , but I won at life with her, so she deserves #6 Rings to choose from.