Many individuals find themselves in unfortunate situations within marriage due to a lack of proper insight into structuring their families. Marriage is often described as a union, and this concept can be extended to financial matters. When you get married, it's as if you're entering into a partnership, but in this case, the partnership is limitless. This means that everything you own and will own as long as the marriage continues belongs to the family unit and not just to one individual.

Both partners, husband and wife, pool their incomes periodically, typically on a monthly basis, into a joint account. From this joint account, financial discussions revolve around joint investments, properties, assets, and even businesses. It's advisable to maintain a joint account for general and household expenses, while each partner retains a single personal account. Allowances for personal expenses are disbursed from the joint account to individual accounts. All other assets, investments, and savings are considered family assets rather than individual ones. This approach ensures a unified financial front within the marriage. If couples structure their finances in this manner, issues such as one partner experiencing financial difficulties and the resulting strain on the relationship can be minimized. Within a marital partnership, there should be no concept of one partner being financially down; instead, it's a collective responsibility. Everything should be managed together, reinforcing the idea that "the two shall become one," as emphasized in the Bible.

It is often claimed that women's affection for men is conditional, contingent on what they can provide. Some argue that women may leave when there's seemingly nothing more to gain. While there might be instances where this holds true, it's important to note that this perspective doesn't apply universally, especially within the context of marriage.

Most women often prioritize their happiness in a relationship, they just want to be happy and comfortable, the responsibility lies with the man to possess a high level of financial intelligence and literacy. He should take the initiative to propose how the family's finances should be structured, explain this plan thoroughly to his wife, and help her understand that this approach benefits her and the entire family. Joint financial planning extends beyond just financial transparency, shared goals, reduced financial disputes, emergency preparedness, investments and savings. For instance, in the unfortunate event of legal issues, the impact is limited because neither party individually owns these assets; they are collectively owned by the family.



If you're interested in receiving comprehensive marital counseling or financial advice, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I am also a skilled and experienced content writer. Feel free to contact me to explore these services. I am here to provide you with valuable insights and support in various aspects of your life.

Dear Opp,
She is wrong. When she finally returns, punish her for disobeying you. As a man, you are to be the leader in your home. The moment you don't assume the position of leadership and allow your wife to behave the way she wants, she automatically becomes the leader, and your personality becomes unattractive to her. Men are natural leaders; women are not. You are supposed to protect your wife, but how can you protect someone who won't listen to your instructions? If you had a bodyguard, how could your bodyguard protect you if you don't listen to their instructions? You need to assume the position of a leader in your home, or else your home/marriage will fail, and you will be blamed. When I say 'punish her,' I don't mean literally, like beating her. Let her know that you are unhappy with her attitude. Talk to her using strong words. Kindly note that your wife was attracted to you because of your manly characteristics. The moment you give that up, you become a simp and immediately unattractive to her.

Nairaland1stson:
I have suspicion that someone wants to use my account to launder money. A lady visited my shop demanding to purchase goods worth millions of naira she was so much in a hurry or desperate for someone who intends to perform such transactions. She was accompanied by a man she claimed to be her sick husband, two kids, and another young man. She claimed she needed to perform the transaction as soon as possible so she could travel down to a neighboring state for her husband's treatment.

There was no much negotiations as it seemed she was the one begging for the goods to be sold to her. After confirmation she said I should bring my POS machine so she could make a transfer, I already had suspicions on her so I told her i didn't have one and besides who would want to perform transactions worth millions of naira with a POS machine mode of payment. I suggested that she heads to the bank or make a transfer from her mobile app, which she shrugged off immediately like it was not even an option.

The young man with her insisted I get a POS vendor so that the transaction can be made which I declined and told them that there were many around the vicinity that they can go get one if they wish to. The young man left and returned a few minutes later with one, when they arrived the woman suddenly said she was scared and needed to invite the person who referred her to our place. She called this person and he arrived shortly, he was someone known to us in the past but not well known. She then requested that I get another POS vendor, which I suggested that they should get back the previous vendor they invited earlier. The young man went back again and returned with the vendor. The woman gave the vendor a debit card, which the vendor tried pulling the whole money at once, but it didn't go.(exceeded limit) The POS vendor then proceeded to split the money and it was successful. So she was only able to make part payment for the goods.

They were about to leave when I reminded them that I was supposed to issue a receipt for the part payment deposited into my account. Which I did later, and they left. Fast forward to the evening same day, she called me claiming that her husband's health was demanding much, and she wouldn't be in need of what she purchased earlier that I would have to refund her immediately.

What rose my suspicions on them are:

1. The acclaimed husband of hers, whom she claimed had stroke as at when they visited the shop, I saw him earlier when they alighted from a Keke napep which dropped them across the road and he was walking very fine but when they began to approach my shop he began to limp like he couldn't walk properly and the woman held his hand for assistance (they didn't know that I had seen him earlier walking properly without any form of aid) when they were at the shop, the acclaimed husband who had stroke sat and crossed his legs, is that even possible for someone suffering from a stroke?

2. Why would they insist on only POS mode of payment (for a transaction worth millions)

3. Why would a woman whose acclaimed husband is sick with stroke decide to perform such a transaction (her pirioty should be making sure her husband is taken care of medically)

4. I know you must be wondering what it is she bought, but I will not be disclosing such for privacy reasons (Hint: it is a single item)

5. She was incoherent when I asked for the name and address that would be added to the receipt (it seemed like she was guessing the name and address)

What are your thoughts? Should I refund the money immediately, if I will, what are the measures to be taken to ensure I am on a safe side

This matter is straightforward. If she insists on a refund, wait for a minimum of 48 hours, then proceed to return the money to the same account it originated from.

I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you've faced in your relationship. It's clear that you've been through a lot, and this is a complex situation. I won't use insulting language because I believe in maintaining respectful and constructive communication.

Here's my advice:

Assess Your Feelings: Take some time to reflect on your own feelings. It's crucial to understand if you can genuinely forgive and trust her again. Consider whether you can move forward without holding onto resentment.

Communication: Have an open and honest conversation with her. Discuss your feelings, concerns, and the impact her actions have had on the relationship. Ask her about her own perspective and intentions moving forward.

Consider Counseling: If you're both willing to work on the relationship, couples counseling can be a valuable resource. A professional can help facilitate discussions and provide guidance on rebuilding trust.

Set Boundaries: If you decide to give the relationship another chance, establish clear boundaries and expectations to prevent similar issues from arising in the future. Both partners need to be on the same page regarding what is acceptable behavior.

Family and Friends: If you value their opinions, consider discussing the situation with family and friends who have been supportive. They can provide valuable insights and emotional support during this difficult time.

Trust Your Instincts: Ultimately, the decision to forgive and continue the relationship or to move on is a deeply personal one. Trust your instincts and prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

Remember that forgiveness is a personal choice, and it doesn't necessarily mean continuing the relationship. It's about finding peace within yourself and deciding what's best for your future.

Avoid using her maiden name in this context, as it could potentially create a significant issue. Even though her husband might not react strongly, the implications could be misunderstood. Considering that she is married, it's more appropriate to use her first name along with her husband's surname. This choice accurately reflects her marital status and respects her identity.

During the registration process, FRSC will reference her name using her NIN.

FRSC follows the name on your Identity card during vehicle registration. However, as an interim measure, it's recommended to procure the vehicle using her first name and her husband's surname. This approach takes into consideration the complexities of the registration process and ensures a smoother experience.

By the way, you don't need to register the car, leave them to handle the registration process.



Do you need the service of a professional content writer? Contact me on whatsapp 09081603112.

It's interesting to observe that many viewpoints are coming from individuals who might not have experienced the dynamics of marriage. Personally, my approach is different. I share every aspect of my life with my spouse, except for details about past relationships. This isn't because those details are hidden or held back deliberately; it's simply that they're not relevant to our shared goals and aspirations. If my partner were to express genuine interest in knowing, I'd have an open and honest conversation.

In marriage, the concept of "you" transforms into a unified "we." Our assets, liabilities, decisions, and actions all contribute to the collective wellbeing of our family. Every choice has a ripple effect that impacts not only ourselves but our partner as well. So, if a mistake is made or an inappropriate action is taken, it's not just an individual's reputation that's at stake; it's our family's name that bears the consequences. This is why it seems only fair that the same principle applies to both the burdens and the benefits.

The essence of marriage is partnership, a true and complete union. Holding back any part of ourselves, especially in areas as significant as finances, might suggest a lack of understanding about this partnership or a hesitation to be fully committed. Finances, with their potential to shape the course of a marriage, require utmost transparency. Complete disclosure isn't just about managing money effectively; it's about fostering trust, strengthening the bond, and demonstrating integrity.

It's essential to clarify that this perspective pertains exclusively to married couples. In the dating phase or within boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, the dynamics are different. But when it comes to marriage, the philosophy of open communication and full disclosure can lay the foundation for a resilient, thriving, and harmonious partnership. After all, transparency in finance doesn't just facilitate planning; it builds an unshakable foundation for a relationship built on trust and mutual growth.



Do you need the service of a professional content writer? Contact me on whatsapp 09081603112.

Tuesdays and Thursdays Guardian newspaper
I have a similar story. Ajah, Lekki, VI 2009 - 2010

It can only be God.

Over the past few days I have witness in utter dismay and despair how most Nigerians publicly declare their support for the reelection of Donald Trump. I even heard they was a peaceful match by some churches in Nigeria in support of Trump reelection. I think this support is fueled by ignorance, hypocrisy, religious sentiment and racial bias and stereotypes, without asking the basic question, which is, What will a Biden/Trump win mean for Nigeria, Africa and the world? I have asked most Trump Nigeria supporter why they choose to support Trump and the only answer I get is 'because Trump is pro-Christian, therefore, will promote Christian values and norms in the United States and the world'.
Fact check: Is Donald Trump a Christian or is he pro-Christian and even if he is, does Christianity define a better leader?
Donald Trump over the years have been accused severally of immorality, tax evasion, racism, hatred for others, sexual abuse, lies, cheating, vile comments. The Holy Bible which is the Christian's sacred scripture condemn any form of cheating, sexual immorality, hatred, including sexual abuse, lies, vile talk. Therefore, I wonder why Trump's Nigeria supporters believed Mr. Trump is a Christian and therefore will promote Christian values when Trump has consistently proven to be anti-Christ (against Christ teachings)
What will a Trump win mean for Nigeria and the World?
1. Trump Immigration Policy Reform: The RAISE Act seeks to reduce levels of legal immigration to the United States by 50% by halving the number of green cards issued. In 2018 Migrant remittance to Nigeria equaled $25billion representing 6% of our GDP with a Trump win legal immigration will continue to suffer and migrant remittance will continue to decline which is bad for Nigerians and Nigeria economy.
2. The Paris Agreement: The United States recently pulled out from the Paris Climate Change agreement. The withdrawal reduces other countries emission space and raises the emission costs, and refusal to contribute to climate change aid makes it more difficult for developing countries (like Nigeria) to migrate and adapt to climate change.
Note: The Trump administration has other policies/ proposed policies that stand to have major negative impact on the world, Africa and Nigeria.
What will a Biden win mean for Nigeria, Africa and the World?
1. Biden Energy Plan: Biden has proposed to ban fracking and focus on alternative energy because of the impact fracking has on the climate. This plan will reduce the supply of oil since the US will stop producing which might lead to increased in price which is good for Nigeria economy since our economy is still largely dependent on crude oil
2. Immigration Policy: Biden immigration policies promise to be more friendly as compare to Trump's stringent policy which will definitely increase migrant remittance, as earlier stated migrant remittance contribute between 5-10% of our GDP.
Finally, about 90% of blacks which Nigerans should consider their brothers/sister living in the United States voted against Donald Trump, this alone should tell you they are more comfortable and will prosper more with Biden as president. It is worthy to note that, Biden is a man with one wife, a Christian, have never been accused of immorality, sexual abuse, tax evasion, lies, cheating, he is not a racist, he doesn't use vile words or make vile comments. I believe this makes Biden a more practical Christian.
With these common knowledge Nigerians & Africans should know that, a Biden win will be more beneficial for Nigeria, Nigerians, Africa and the world

This post is my personal opinion.

Dear AntiChristian, knowing God and what He represents require years of painstaking study, determination, patience etc. As an accountant and finance professional, it took me 4years in the university, 4years studying with ACCA and will require an average of another 4years studying to be a CFA Charterholder, the years of study & experience prove i have relevant education, skill and experience in the accounting and finance field. This analogy also apply to knowing God. You need to painstakingly study, with patience and determination as you grow, you will have understanding of who God really represent.

Cheers

AntiChristian:

See below again it was YAHWEH who ordered the killings!

Numbers
Chapter 31
7-12
7 And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males. 8 And they slew the kings of Midian, beside the rest of them that were slain; namely, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, five kings of Midian: Balaam also the son of Beor they slew with the sword. 9 And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods. 10 And they burnt all their cities wherein they dwelt, and all their goodly castles, with fire. 11 And they took all the spoil, and all the prey, both of men and of beasts. 12 And they brought the captives, and the prey, and the spoil, unto Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and unto the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the camp at the plains of Moab, which are by Jordan near Jericho.

I wonder what Christians have to say about this? Using their own criteria against them this makes their God a false violent God.

17-18
17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. 18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves

What do Christians have to say to this? This is their God commanding Moses to kill the women and CHILDREN and to keep the virgins alive.

You choose what to believe, I have a responsibility to tell you the truth.

Cheers.

AntiChristian:


Should I believe you or the Bible?

The Bible said God told Moses, Joshua,etc to kill people, even children and women.

And you are claiming otherwise!

Like I wrote earlier, there have been misconception about God's identity for quite a long time, Jesus definition of who God is clearly show that God never commanded the Isrealite to massacre people as recorded in the old testament, for instance, God told Moses to go to Pharoad and tell Pharoad to let my people go, Moses went to Pharoad and told Pharoad that God say he should let his people go [/b]so they can sacrifice to Him in the Wilderness[b]. That wasn't the message from God.

Through Jesus we now know that many events in the old testament attributed to God wasn't actually from God.

How do you differentiate what God said and what he didn't say & what God did and what He didn't do? By knowing God's true identity, when you know God's real identity, you can easily differentiate what was God and what wasn't and can't be God.

Cheers.

AntiChristian:


What happened in those verses?

Dear Antichristian, God is a good God, He is our saviour, our healer, He is gracious, He is love, God does not have dual personality, He is not good sometimes and bad sometimes, He does not hate sometimes and love sometimes, God never change, He is constantly conatant. The Bible says every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord, again, the devil come to steal, kill and destroy but Christ came that we may have life. The attribute of the devil is to steal, kill and destroy and God's attribute is to save. It will interest you to know that God has never kill before, He doesn't kill, as a matter of fact, He does not have the capacity to kill. How do I know this? Jesus Christ is the express image of God, what Christ did not do, God does not do as well. One of the reasons Christ came was to correct the wrong perception humans had about God. Humans attributed many of what they don't understand to God, therefore, God sent Christ to correct such impression and define His true identity. That's why in the mount of transfiguration Elijah, Moses appeared, when the disciples when to build an alter for the three of them, Elijah & Moses disappear and a voice from heaven says "This is my beloved son, listen to Him" meaning whatever Jesus says about who God is supersedes every other previous writing. God is absolutely good, His mission from before time begin is to save and He has never change.

You can't message me if you require more explanation.

Cheers.

AntiChristian:


I'm a southerner!

Numbers
Chapter 31
7-12
7 And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males. 8 And they slew the kings of Midian, beside the rest of them that were slain; namely, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, five kings of Midian: Balaam also the son of Beor they slew with the sword. 9 And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods. 10 And they burnt all their cities wherein they dwelt, and all their goodly castles, with fire. 11 And they took all the spoil, and all the prey, both of men and of beasts. 12 And they brought the captives, and the prey, and the spoil, unto Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and unto the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the camp at the plains of Moab, which are by Jordan near Jericho.

I wonder what you have to say about this? Using your own criteria against you this makes your God a false violent God.

17-18
17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. 18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves

What do you have to say to this? This is your God commanding Moses to kill the women and CHILDREN and to keep the virgins alive.

Salvation is not free, on the contrary it's very expensive, we couldn't pay for it. The cost of salvation was too high & mankind could not pay. Christ paid the price on behlaf of mankind.

I completely disagree with this report. If less than 150k is poor, then nobody is poor in Nigeria. No family earns less than 150k yearly.

Osnami:
What income level do you belong to?

Mine is middle class but am not comfortable with this position.

The figures there is annually (yearly) not monthly.

Zico5:
The person that prepared this shit is terribly sick. Do u want people to have HBP or how many average Nigerians earn above 150k with this current poverty in the land. Go to the street and see how PhD holders are struggling to get even part time lecturing jobs.

How can I like this comment 10x? Thank you. The way people think amazes me. Nobody said money is not important, but money should not determine how you treat people. How can people be hammering on money as if, everything about life depends on it? God!

Obingene:


You people and money, are you people totally useless without money? Because I am not and never been.

Come on, there is more to life now. I studied Economics and many a times, I have broken this thing called money. It's a reward for value, it's also a means to an end and there are so many factors that determine its availability or scarcity.

I'm tired hearing about money issues everytime. Haba! It's that why you came to earth? To make money and just leave?

Listen everyone, if money is the main resource you have to offer people, then you are just like a candle in d wind, you will be blown out soon and forgotten.

Finally, if anyone disrespects you because of money, walk away from that person.

The circular flow of income shows that money can never be at a place at a particular time, more so, now we have leaders to hoard and keep wealth meant for everyone to themselves.

I conclude with this, if as a guy or a lady, you know you would disrespect your spouse in eventuality that they become broke, please don't marry, or better still, leave the relationship.

Leave and find your pot of gold.

Comments on this thread stinks of ignorance! So may kids on this forum.

My dear MzJayY I want you to know that your husband might have his own issues but i will only address yours.

1. Understand that your husband might also be spending all his earnings on the kids school fee and accommodation and also has no saving, as a married man myself with 3 kids i will tell you that School fee and Accommodation is the 2nd and 3rd highest cost in my household, taking as much as 70% of my earning. cos it seems one of the major issue here is because you spend all you earn on your home.

2. You need to understand that marriage has issues, your case seems similar to mine, only that i am the husband and am not like your husband. Marriage is like partnership both of your got married, we most times use the word "he married me" that is actually wrong , the correct word is "WE got married"so if you have no savings, your husband is not the problem, you are spending your earnings on YOUR home. increase your earning or live below your means. You can achieve this only when you and our husband draw up a budget from whatever both of you are earning. The budget should be the household budget stating clearly all your projected inflow and expenses.

3. Always apologizing to your husband is nothing, it doesn't matter who is wrong or right, if he doesn't want to apologies, you go ahead and apologies, doing so doesn't mean you are the foolish one, it only mean you are the courageous one in the relationship. You also mention your husband don't appreciate you for your contributions. Well, who appreciates him for his contributions? Don't expect appreciation for taking care of your responsibilities. It's the responsibilities of the Husband and the Wife to cater for their home. & that is what you are doing.

4. Your marriage is still workable whoever is advising you contrary to this is an enemy or is simply ignorant, your marriage can become happy again and your financially life can turn around only when you decide to work together. Financial success and happiness in marriage require plan, frugality, persistence, understanding etc.

You can send me a private message if you need help.

Cheers.

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

What do u think will happen after? Trust me, you will live the rest of your life regretting this.

Achz:
I have a 2yrs old beautiful daughter with another woman and I haven't let her know coz it will cause a break up between us now and I don't want that. We've even done a marriage introduction but I won't tell her until we get married fully and also got her impregnated so that the brouhaha won't be much.

EternalBeing:
Someone reading this might currently be like I was in those days; being held back and feels repulsed from becoming a bornagain Christian because of the thoughts that: God doesn't want genuine Christians to be great in this World, and/or that bornagain Christianity means very dull boring way of Life.

Even worse unbearable is the thought of living in a dull monotonous eternity of endlessly humming HalleluYAH in a gloom-pavaded Heaven. Trust me, that thought is scary than hell and I don't want to go to that kind of Heaven too.

If you are in that class, I want you to know that you have a friend in me cause I can relate. These are the gory pictures that the demons used to scare many of us away from being reconnected back to our CREATOR. Many don't want to be born again Christians or go to Heaven because of 2 major reassons:

1. They think they will have a dull gloomy life here and in Heaven.

2. They think they will have less chance of becoming great in this World, or/and that God is against Christians becoming great in this World.

These are the 2 erroneous thoughts that Satan uses to chase people back from giving their lives to JESUS. Because of space contraint, answer to the first shall be explained here, while the 2nd shall be explained in the concluding thread.

For years, whenever I wanted to go out to answer the alter call, a voice(I later realized to be from a chronic deceptive demon) says to me "You want to lose your fundamental right to smoke, drink, party and enjoy your life? You want to be poor forever living a boring dull life?!" The picture painted on my mind scares the hell out of me and always got me adhesively stuck to my chair. I wanted to be rich and wealthy, and very quickly too. I heard my mentor became rich by adding 6 Zeros to a Government Contract cheque, inflating contracts. I didn't want to miss such opportunity. Moreover, I was passionately addicted to the "sweetness" of Ganja and Sex. Ganja is sweeter than sex (not many know this though), I broke free from sexual addition long long before I could be freed from Ganja addiction.

When I newly started going to Church, the whole congregation were shocked when I stood up to challenge our Pastor that was preaching against narcotics to show me where it is written in Bible that "Thou shall not smoke" Now that I''ve grown in Christ, I realized that only Holy Spirit can truly convert a Soul, the preaching is just a vehicle for HIM to reach the sinners. I only, much later, stopped smoking indian hemp after realizing that I remembered my dreams clearly whenever I didn't smoke, and they came to pass. I realized that ganja empowers demons against the God's divine direction and original Purpose for my life. I know a Shaman that uses Indian hemp to summon demons. Those entities are very real, they've turned some mad permanently, they've dipped hands and diverted many other's original Destiny without the addicts even realizing it. Me and my friends used to say Hellfire is gonna be more exciting than Heaven because the likes of Biggie the Notorious B.I.G., TuPac, Alphonse Gabriel Al Capone the Scarface, Jezebel, Alister Crowley, Delilah, Gays Pedophiles, Barabbas, Goliath, Hottest Prostitutes, etc. would be there in Hellfire to rock party for eternity. Myopic mentality made us to be ready to sacrifice our Eternity because of temporary excitements.

Psalm 94:9 "9. HE that created the ear, shall HE not hear? HE that formed the eye, shall HE not see?" "Where purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable" HE that created for you the senses with which you now get excited by party, drugs, sex, is it not totally foolish not to believe what HE said?! HE has created those senses for us to know that we shall enjoy far more excitments, that are far unquatifiable compare to anything we enjoy on Earth? Satan always use fake to steal the original from Man! Satan blinds people to the reality that YAHWEH ALMIGHTY created those senses for greater far Superior Enjoyments in the first place, and HE shall surely grant us those ejoyment as reward for loving HIM more than devil's seductive offers targeted at our eternal Souls. Our CREATOR promised that "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the imagination of any man, the (exceedingly exciting) things which JESUS Christ has prepared for we that love HIM." 1 Corinthians 2:9 You can imagine, no human brain (6cm in diameter) is currently .capable of imagining, let alone know, how exciting our eternity in the New Heavenly Jerusalem is gonna be. I MUST BE THERE! I ain't gonna miss that for all the money in this decaying World. The devil blinds most humans to the fact that ALMIGHTY GOD shall reward us with excitement that is Zillion times of whatsover excitement that Satan use to enlsave people's minds to this decaying passing world.

Ever since the fall of Adam, we humans are born into a World that reprograms our minds against our CREATOR, right from birth. I thank God that the umerited Grace of JESUS Christ broke the veil of deception that held me in bondage, that still holds many in bondage today. I pray that any in such bondage, reading this are freed from the demonic blindness in JESUS Name. Now I know that Christian Life is the most exciting kind of life on Earth, and that Heaven is gonna be far more exciting than any kind of senseless party in this World. No matter how merry or high a worldly night party, narcotics or drink takes you, you are gonna wake up sober the next day. I chose something permanent instead. Technology is one thing that makes most to love this world so much that they don't mind losing their Souls for it here. We gonna be so wowed in Heaven that technology would be usless. If eating exist over there, Honey, Japanese suchi, Chicken and whatever that seems so sweet to you here would taste like sand by the time we have a taste of Heaven.

Whatever any man of God tells you should be a confirmation of what God has already impacted on you. You are your own best Pastor, your own best Prophet, you own best Prayer Worrior. But the ball is in your court, to remain spiritually shallow and dependent, or to focus on being permanently holy and attain your full Spiritual Potential.

Take the first step in the right spiritual direction. Give your life to JESUS Christ today and let Him restore your ability to live forever before it becomes too late.

Sinners have no life to give Jesus, as a sinner, you are already dead, Jesus is life, as a sinner, you invite Jesus to give you life.

My brother, A lot of people here are inexperience, therefore, know the advise you take.

It is completely improper for a married woman to have very close male friends who can even refer to her as "my love". whoever says that is alright is either inexperience or ignorant.

Marriage require lots of sacrifice from both partners, always put yourself in your partner's shoe. Ask yourself "if my partner behaves this way or relate with opposite sex this way, will I be comfortable? and if the answer is no, know that acting/behaving that way will hurt your partner as well.

Married people should know that when u have decide to get married, there are lot of lifestyle that require adjustment.

There are dressing that's not fitting for married people, for instance a married man sagging his trousers, a married woman dressing inappropriately is completely wrong. people should understanding that you must not dress inappropriately before you look hot and sexy. you can dress appropriately and still be hot and sexy.

Tbh, so many people in marriage today has no business being married, either there are not ready or there are not matured enough.

Note that the maturity am referring to is not age. I mean mental maturity. Marriage require lots of mental maturity.

Those things she is doing, she is way pass that lifestyle, she is now a woman, kids are looking up to her as role model. I will suggest you sit her down and school her, if she is teachable and she has the ability to unlearn, teach her with love I believe she will see reason to change her ways for good and know she is a married woman.

What's your location?

iceboy4752:
I recently came across a thread which was about the courses you won't advise anyone to study. I saw people listing so many damn courses. The question now is, what are those good courses that one can stil study in Nigeria that are lucrative? I think that no matter how bad the economy seems to be, it won't be possible that all the courses are useless.

STEM ( Science Technology Engineering and Mathematic) any course from the list is fine. Personally Medicine and Engineering will be top in the list.

Hello NLanders, I urgently need a place to stay in PortHarcourt, am looking at renting a decent self contain around Woji, YKC, Alcon, Woji Estate, Trans-Woji, Slaughter and it's environs. I can also share a decent flat if located around same area. My budget is 150k yearly.

Office resumes 3rd Jan, therefore, I need the apartment between today & 2nd January.




Lalasticalala, kindly help move this to fp, I need more NLanders to see this.

Ifedith:
Redmi 4a 2gb 32gb.... 35200k(black)
Redmi 5 plus 3gb 32gb... Black and gold... 52599

Redmi 6a 2gb 16gb... 34790(black)
Mi 8 4gb 64gb...131900(black)
Samsung galaxy s8... 4gb 64gb... I52k
Galaxy s9+... 6gb 64gb...215k
Galaxy note 8... 6gb 64gb...196k
Galaxy note 9 6gb 128gb..258k
Huawei nova i3... 4gb 128gb... 105k
Nokia 6.1plus... 4gb 64gb... 95k
Nokia 7.1 plus... 4gb 64gb... 103k
Next day free delivery within Lagos
Payment on delivery available
Free delivery to abj, ph, lag and abeokuta.
Xiaomi mi 8....6gb 128gbe...164300... Any color
Xiaomi mi max 3.... 4gb 64gb... 101139
Xiaomi Pocophone f1...6gb 128gb...104k,...6gb 64gb.. 96300
Redmi note 5... 4gb 64gb... 61400
Mi pad 4... 3gb 32gb.... 52600
No custom issues.

Can I get the bolded today in Port Harcourt?

ShamsBarack:
I have some questions for you.

1. Is this your first job?
2. Is this the line of career you want to pursue?

The reason why I'm asking is because as someone who has been working for quite sometime now, I know that at different times, my boss has taken direct credit for some of the new ideas that I brought into the department. Some other times, I get to get the credit. Since this seems to be the only thing that you've introduced into your organization, I'll advice you simmer down for a while. Trust me, a golden fish usually has no hiding place. With time, and maybe not even too long from now, the bosses will know who actually brings all those ideas.

Just continue doing your work and focus less on who takes the credit. With time, it'll definitely be clear who does the work.

Well its not my first job its my third job in 8yrs. & yes its in the line of my chosen career. Though its the first coy where office politic is so fierce. Many thanks for taking time to contribute.

osuofia2:
Op I no how you feel but just simmer down a bit. This is Nigeria.. Just maintain good relationship with him you did be surprise that he will recommend you during appraisal's for promotion... If you show your self you go hear am.. Mind you he can go snitch on you by telling the GMD about you by then you won't be there. Never outshine your master.. Rule no 1

I absolutely agree with you. Thanks for your contribution

Wtfork:
Op , its a good thing you brought this issue here.
I actually experienced this same situation some time ago and I'll just share my experience with you. My boss was so lazy that he never did any work in the office. I was always the one doing all the work and he was taking credit for the good performance. To make things worst , my office had a structure that works in the local government and report to the headquarter. So there was no way the head quarters would be aware that I was the one doing the work and not him. However I still had to work for my own personal growth and build up my file.
When things got Worst it resulted to a case of monkey they work baboon De chop.
I could not bear the pain anymore I just had to damn the consequences and let things spoil.
My brother na so we de look each other face for office o.. after about two months of consecutive poor performance the management at headquarters noticed and had to sanction him. Nobody told him before he seat up. He started work and doing his part , at least my work load reduced , I don't even care if he takes all the credit as long as we are doing the work together .
My suggestion, I think you need to reduce your inputs and the kind of energy you put in at work, your boss will finaly realise that things have changed and start respecting you more thereby giving you some accolades . However , be ready for a battle you also have to conquer because he will start seeing you as an enemy or some sort of competitor.
After this, he will realise he actually can't do without you!! That's my story ..

Thanks for your contribution

Agbaletu:
Take it cool. It depends on the policy of your company. Where I work, a manager dare not say "we". He is responsible for whatever happens in his department. He must always say "I". Whatever he gets at the end of every appraisal will also get to his subordinates.

thanks

samuelchimmy:
I think I can give my own migre quota....
Sir first of all this is a job,and not your personal business
Do not resent your boss,believe me 'most' bosses are like that
Keep doing your best- don't decide to do lesser than you can do because of your boss..
You never can tell how you will shine. ..
Lastly your boss is your friend ,you can ask for favours (don't know if that's ethical though)

Thanks for taking time to contribute.

BellaV:
My dear, I totally understand that feeling. You need to understand that he is the head of your department so technically any success and progress from his team is a win for him. The Oga’s just want result not who contributed to the result. Ask yourself? Are you there to work, gain experience and contribute to development of the organization or you are there to get a pat on the back for a job welldone? As long as you are good at what you do and you do it diligently. Your light can’t hide. Your time will come.

Don’t ever be on your boss bad book even if he’s a slowpoke. Don’t. Let your boss so depend on you that without you he can’t get results that way he will start giving you the respect and acknowledgement you deserve. Asskiss with wisdom.

I completely agree with you. the boded is key. Thanks for your contribution

nastyesco:
A lot of good advises which I certainly agree with has been earlier posted and if I may add, pls never try to outshine the team, its called a team for a reason, your drive for recognition is stemming from this. Addressing ur GM may even turn out to be a disaster as he will sense ur hunger for recognition and take it as a lack of team spirit. I understand ur pain but ur time will come, keep improving yourself and you will grow, ur ambition should be global not local. A lone wolf never catches game.

Lots of good advise indeed, thanks for your contribution