₦airaland Forum

Ladyhippolyta88:
My village masquerade does not extort he only goes to houses to ask for money even our age grades do same for the festival after that and on the last day they buy a goat.Nigerians like expensive things must you invite everybody to your wedding there are some things you can always do to save yourself unnecessary frivolities.T me brideprice has a negative effect it simply shows you are buying the woman and to me no amount of money can buy the worth of a human being.

Bride price does not show that you are buying her. It signifies value. Its the value that it portrays that matters.

For instance in my place, you end up giving N5 for the bride price. The official price is N1000, while N995 is given back to you. So how does N5 show signifies buying a woman.

In as much as the masquerade goes about collecting money, then it should be removed.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Personally I don't support the brideprice but I believe there are some African cultures that are archaic and some still seem relevant and I enjoy the masquerade festivals in my hometown that one should remain.Yes every country should have it's own unique identity but I believe if you see something good from others it is not a crime if you embrace such just like how Nigeria a country known for it's traditions has identified with secularism and democracy.Leaving some of our archaic traditional mentality does not stop us from adding new ones and I love the indigenous foods and languages those one's to me still have a place.

In Enugu, masquerades are used to extort money from passerbys and not for tradition. You can see small children wearing some face mask and calling themselves masquerades. The big ones flog you, damage your car if you fail to give them money. Such should be removed or moderated/controlled.

Bride price aside being high in some places has no negative aspect. Like I stated above, it is N1000 while the ladies father returns N995, leaving the price at N5. What makes traditional marriages costly is the logistics, the packaging and other things. Marriage list in my place isn't costly at all.

Nigeria has not copied anything correctly from any country. And yes, we can retain our food, language, etc.

Ladyhippolyta88:
True,but hope you are not angry?Your brain isn't broke.

No nah, not angry shaa. Went through your profile, you are active in politics section. CNN, Trump, etc. So anyone that must have opinion there must wear a thick skin, perhaps you have done that.

But don't you think they are some traditions, cultures, values etc that we should preserve. The west is not trying to be us, so why are we trying to be them. I think what stands North Korea is their zeal in defining how they should be seen regardless of worlds opinion on them.

China is building a unique value and these days, they offer scholarships taught in their language as a way to preserve their cultural heritage. We need one and I think bride price is one. It's not by the value or price but the super meaning it carries. It makes both parties understand that the new relationship is one. And both tries to enjoy the mutual relationship. I strongly think its good.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Sorry if I sounded rude.We all have different opinions I never wanted to offend anybody but I was angry at your constant mentions.Either I am sorry you have your opinion and I have mine.

Okies, no problem. This is a public forum and everyone can be mentioned with or without their approval. Its then your choice who to reply or ignore. You should have ignored my broke brain. Anyway, we all have opinions and even at that, our opinions can be challenged or even flawed.

If this guy is 21 years and Alex Iwobi is also 21 years, then something must be wrong.

I think if he is mentally fit to take care of her, manage their needs, and be the husband, then nothing stops the marriage from reaching to old age.

I wish the guy success in his marriage. Money please come fast, I need to marry.

Ladyhippolyta88:
If you are interested in Benue matters you can go there and find out.

I was asking because it seems over there you are is boiling hence your response. Anyway shaa, what do I know and who do I know self.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Read what I said before it is your own cup of tea.Maybe to you it is not wrong but to others it is and those others have done what they see fit so it is your problem not mine.Everything is constant to change simple as ABC.

Are we talking about each others problem here?

More like a ranting posts you have been making. Do you reside in Benue? Wonder what is going on over there.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Abeg leave me alone I have said my own.Talking like as if culture is static and does not evolve.

I just checked where I held you. You were making a fact-less argument. Speaking authoritatively even when there is no link to your researched papers. For the last 50 years, how has the culture of traditional marriage changed? They can be modifications as knowledge improves but sure, they won't be a stoppage of it. People are eager to pass what was passed to them unto their children. If it gives us identity, then its a culture and we will uphold it.

I really do not know your problem with a moderate bride price. I can take my girl friend out and spend 10 - 15k yet I can't pay N1,000 to officially have access to her? It seems to me that you are just arguing illogically or perhaps not wanting to consider what marriage is after all. Even if you go to registry for marriage, you will still pay about 10 -20k. And so, if we modify some traditional rites in marriages and make it moderate and affordable, then there is nothing wrong with it.

And even if they are not modified, bride price will still be paid.

Emmysteve:
I just hope so. Thanks bro. What can I do. In all these my parents are not aware. It's just my elder siblings. There are saying they will resolve the issue (which is sending the girl away) without the knowledge of our parents. I am afraid of letting my mother aware because I don't want her to think too much. She over take things serious. The only person that will understand is my dad but they don't have regard for him. My immediate elder sister is also on my side. This issue is really eating me deep. Imagine them that the pregnancy won't work. That even if she birth 10 kids for me she won't be welcome.

This guy, you are really getting me angry. Why do you want to disturb us with no issues here. Nawa for you ooo. You don't have a problem and you want to make it seem your problem is one big issue.

You are working which implies that no one is feeding you and you allow people dictate what you do with your money. Bia bros, behave yourself oo.

You got a girl you love pregnant and you allow your brothers to decide who loves her. And you are 28. You really don't want to die.

What should you do
Call your brothers, tell them that they have tried in your life and hence you have decided to move with your life. You should strive to make more money so that your brothers will want to be close to you.

Call your dad and your mum and tell them what is going on. Whoever wants to die of it should go ahead. I really do not know what stops people from taking decisions that will favour them. Will you love people more than you love yourself?


Bros, behave nah so we will see people with much problem. Go to job section and see those struggling to get a job and now you have a job and you want people to live your life for you.

Ladyhippolyta88:
I don't need to go to any village to know thatsome people are complaining about the expensive list and outrageous requirements like I said it won't remain for long and even if it does.It is not paid in my family and some other families that is how it starts.

There are things you can't stop. I really don't know what your tradition says about bride price. But trust me, though your family may be avoiding those traditions, it does not mean that the vast majority of your people are not paying it. Your family forms just a fractions of the large population of people paying bride price.


You can't modernize this, its not possible

Ladyhippolyta88:
Well maybe in your family but not in my family.And believe me in 50 years time it would be a thing of the past.

Lol. There are things that will be things of the past. Your predictions are just verbal predictions, you have not backed it up with facts or academic research.

You might consider going to the villages to see how these traditions are passed from people to people or you allow internet deceive you. I won't argue with you but do know that even in 100 years, it will still remain.

Ladyhippolyta88:
This thing still dey exist.

It will continue to exist.

In my place, bride price is N1000. After you have paid, the brides father will return N995 to the groom which signifies that he is not selling his daughter to you, hence the need to take appropriate care of her needs.

Aside the logistics in getting married, traditional marriage is very cheap in my place. There is no much requirements as the lists given is affordable.

I am seeing possible divorce from him soon.
Sit him down and discuss it or stand a possible divorce.

He really want to make it look as if he didn't marry to his brothers -hence the gap.

Fastcopy: Shares his demotion experience. From TRS to Level 2

Well, life sucks. I’ve been DEMOTED to level 2. So what happens now? Do I have to wait 14 days to get paid instead of 7?

“Maintain a 4.8 star rating, over the course of 60 days”

Really? I guess I should delete every lucrative gig under 4.8. Is that what you want?

This new system is GARBAGE.

There’s even a section called
Achieve these goals to be nominated for a Top Rated Seller

I have achieved all those goals already! But one stupid 4.7 and I get demoted.

What a joke, no respect for those of us that have been on Fiverr for a long time. Not even level 2’s get respect, some have been demoted to level 1. So what happens to the ones at level 1? Will they get deactivated.

I have earned $65,194.70 on Fiverr, so you can imagine that their 20% must be. That has no value? Whatever.

Stop screwing sellers! Without sellers, there won’t be buyers!

Lol.
I have something to say but nothing to say now