₦airaland Forum

MRbrownJAY: ^^^^ so long as you are ok with sharing HIS urine and faeces, then whatever rocks your boat sista!

Since we are one...my urine and feces is HIS huh?

lefulefu: why are u vex?

Your family is pressuring you to marry for money huh?

The cost of garri went up!

Understanding men is just as complex as understanding women.

People need to keep it real.

Let me share my urine and feces with my husband since we are "one".

Kobojunkie: Privacy in marriage? WOW . . . Not even the LAW of the land, or the Good book, will hear that bunkum . . . ROFLMAO!! The book says you surrender ALL, not some, but ALL in marriage, and here is someone talking of privacy in Marriage? WOW . . . goodluck!

Look as I said . ..

If you are not going to take my word...then take the words of other married couples who are ACTUALLY married on Nairaland that have stated that they do not share everything with their partners and respect some form of privacy for each other. I don't expect unmarried people to understand what I am saying anyways..so you are excused.

You are drowning boo boo.

Most families want their members to marry for money.

No.


1trust noun \ˈtrəst\

Definition of TRUST

1
a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
b : one in which confidence is placed
2
a : dependence on something future or contingent : hope
b : reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : credit <bought furniture on trust>
3
a : a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another
b : a combination of firms or corporations formed by a legal agreement; especially : one that reduces or threatens to reduce competition
4
archaic : trustworthiness
5
a (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another
b : responsible charge or office

I was more concern with HIV, STD, and Mental status.

Kobojunkie: You lost me when you claimed that simply having access for knowing sake equates to snooping and insecurity. I don't think like that when it comes to what I believe belongs to me, and what belongs also to my spouse, so I cannot help you. That is like a woman who believes she is stealing when she goes to get money from her husband's wallet to go do grocery shopping or anything. Either you have confidence that it is yours and you have a right to take it and build a relationship where it is OK to get money from your spouses wallet, or you continue to give yourself a complex by thinking negative thoughts like that when you really don't need to, in your own home.

That there are those who snoop does not then mean then that everyone, who accesses data on their spouse, does it with the intention of snooping. If you believe something is yours, you don't snoop when you access it. IT IS YOURS! There are millions of people out there in marriages with no boundaries and these are happy people with no care of what to hide or not hide next.

If you thinking throwing them under the bus for not seeing this as you do means you are better than they are speaks volumes of the delusion you live with, not them. Not everyone has energy to hide things from those they are married to . . some don't even hide things from their kids. That you cannot handle that, is not their problem.

And not every respect or understand the concept of privacy of necessity. I know for a fact that YOU will not tell your wife everything and apparently do not know how to be honest. It is okay not an easy trait for most.

No....you lost yourself when you said that you have to snoop read text messages to get to know your partner. You failed yourself with that logic....I simply stated that if you are insecure which also means not sure you will snoop around which you have confessed that you have the "right" to read your partner's text messages.

Instead of talking to your partner about what is going on with her life...you have confessed into using her phone for your own personal gain without her knowledge because "you are one". I even asked if you think your wife deserve some respect to lt her know that you have every intention of snooping or being "inquisitive". I took the liberty of culling several definition for you because you seems to have a different ideal of such words below.

Definition of INQUISITIVE

1
: given to examination or investigation
2
: inclined to ask questions; especially : inordinately or improperly curious about the affairs of others

1snoop vi \ˈsnüp\
: to look or pry especially in a sneaking or meddlesome manner

in·se·cure adj \ˌin-si-ˈkyu̇r\

Definition of INSECURE

1
: not confident or sure : uncertain <feeling somewhat insecure of his reception>
2
: not adequately guarded or sustained : unsafe <an insecure investment>
3
: not firmly fastened or fixed : shaky <the hinge is loose and insecure>
4
a : not highly stable or well-adjusted <an insecure marriage>
b : deficient in assurance : beset by fear and anxiety <always felt insecure in a group of strangers>

These definitions aren't my own so don't attack me because it defined you after your admission of "being inquisitive" over text messages. You stated that you do it to get "updates" on your partner. It came out of your fingers not mine.

You want to change your story now?

kilimanjaro: Op, he will soon bring home second wife.

Don't say that!

afam4eva: I didn't mean it to be degrading...i need to brush up on my ludicrous English.

You could have use words such as my cherished abode, my sacred heaven grounds, or my beloved jewel.

You see the smile??

omosexy1: Your husband is cheating on you (simply put) and he even has the gut to tell you no strings attached. He must not sleep with women before the world tells him he is cheating. His case reminds me of a stupid married colleague in the office who always disturbs single ladies, requesting for BB pins, going as far as pecking them. Its so disgusting.

Come here Kobojunkie...now OP has a motive to check her husband's phone because now she is beginning to feel she can't trust him.


Now you see the difference boo boo?

afam4eva: You're lucky that i'm not your husband. When and if i eventually get married, my wife's body will be my play thing. Afeterall it's my wife.

Now your future wife is your property Yeah I am glad I didn't married an anus licking and loving man.

Men!!

afam4eva: How dare you talk to your husband like that...he has the right to see any and every part of your husband. Infact, he's the custodian of your body.

Not the anus.

afam4eva: The question is: What will you tell your husband if he requests for it....remember he's your husband and not just a random guy.

Let me repost the same answer. I will refuse because my anus is not a proper place for intercourse, touch, nor examination since he is not a doctor.

Next question.

Ujujoan: No nah, I completelty agree that somethings are meant to be 'hidden'. Of course hubby hides his share as well!

What I don't agree to is drawing unnecessary boundaries in a marriage. I should, to an extent, be free with a man I call my life partner.

What's the point in living with someone if there's going to be rules about everything?

There are rules in marriage and especially in African cultures. Why is it different now

rule/ro͞ol/

Noun:
One of a set of explicit or understood regulations or principles governing conduct within a particular activity or sphere.

Verb:
Exercise ultimate power or authority over (an area and its people): "Latin America today is ruled by elected politicians".

Synonyms:
noun. regulation - law - precept - reign - norm - government
verb. govern - reign - dominate - administer - direct - control

Someone mentioned that the husband leave his father and mother and cleaved unto his wife as one.....then added that what rights of the husband's is the wife's and vice versa. That's a rule governed by marital institution so again why pick and choose which rule is appropriate or not

afam4eva: I want a sincere answer...

I answered your anus question numerous times...the answer is still the same.

afam4eva: Now, let me ask you a question...why will you be against your husband peeping at your anus? #justcurious

Move Afameva.....


More power to the "couples" that share [size=22pt]EVERYTHING[/size]...no wonder people break up at an alarming rate.

solomon111: lmfao!!
Facts,you say.
You probably did not comprehend what i was saying.
Have a good day.

And you didn't comprehend what I said.

Hook on phonics.

afam4eva: Do you know that some newly married women are shy to go n*aked in front of their husband? Some of these women even feel more comfortable going n*aked in front of their female friends than their husband. I don't think it's right.

What does wives not showing their body parts to their husbands have anything to do with spouses snooping?

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Yes, it's disrespectful and very wrong.

I don't get how this drivel spewed by people here...two become one...is applicable to the scenario highlighted by @poster

I was an individual in my own right before getting married, and I'm not about to suddenly loose that individuality under the guise of marriage. So, if I'm to understand what most people advocating for this trend are saying, the implication is that we must share everything??!!

Then in that case, why stop at reading each other's SMS / text messages? We might as well go a couple of steps further to prove our oneness by:

~ Sharing the same undies / boxers / under garmets...after all, we are one

~ Have one person give up their brain. Then undergo a ground breaking, major surgical operation, so we both share one brain. No need for two brains now, abi? ...afterall, we are one

~ Live in each other's pockets and while were at it, make sure we're joined at the hip. Infact, we might as well get physically absorbed into the other spouse's body. No need for two seperate bodies... afterall, we are one!

I said it once before and I'll say it again. Most Nigerians have serious insecurity issues. I used to think it was a male issue, but having read all 11 pages of the stuff here (yeah, I get time)...even the women here are just as bad!

A person bent on cheating or doing whatever dubious activity will do so, irrespective of whether or not the other checks up frequently / periodically / occasionally on their spouse's phone! Come to think of it, the day my husband insists I read his SMS / text messages, that in itself would ring alarm bells in my head. Why? 'cos it's the action of a guilty party desperately trying to come across as innocent![/quote]Excellent point.

It is sad when people misquote Bible verses and use it as a clause to prove a point to those who may not be Christians or believers.

slimyem: how and when did this topic turn around from whether or not one should read a spouse's SMS to the anus issue?
Where did i get lost?
What is the relationship between SMS and anus?

That's because they are losing battle so they resort to anus and misquoting the Bible.

ANy time a person intentionally derails a topic or debate is losing footing...then had the nerve to say my marriage is doomed because I don't think anus is a proper place for intercourse. Then he went on to say did I say intercourse? Why else would a spouse open an anus of another spouse Aroma therapy? Exercise?

It is obvious he is used to communicating and socializing with dummies.

freecocoa: Share it with him in what sense please?

Girl...i know you are not falling for his bullshit!

onila: shes intelligent. .she makes alot of money

So does Bunny Ranch hoes! They make tons of money selling toto...I guess they are intelligent too huh?

She became famous by leaking a badly performed porn tape, she has a clothing brand that she shares with her two sisters, she launched a perfume moments ago, and she is part of a family reality show.

She is smart to take advantage of the fame her porn tape gave her and the guidance her older sister afforded her....but I am speaking of education and intellect.

As I said...she is a cute dummy.

[quote author=Stella_Bella]I was banned because of u
Little wuse..
Go and report me again.

HOWEVER,

I WILL NOT RETREAT NOR SURRENDER TO YOUR HORRENDOUS CLAIMS.

THE FACT THAT THE EDO GIRLS DECIDED TO SELL THIER KITTY KAT FOR DOLLARS SHOWS INTELLIGENCE
THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF PROSTITITITES SHOW..PROFITABILITY


THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE TO RESORT TO THAT PROFESSION SHOWS A BAD COUNTRY.

I AM STILL A PROUD BINI GIRL BY THE WAY




KISS MY AZZZZZ.[/quote]Damn.


I thought someone said Igbo girls are expert in that profession

TAILODUL: I am a young healty man in my early thirties, 2 yrs older than my wife, married for 4yrs now and with two kids(girl).
I have a job and I am presently running my masters prog.Sincerely, I married my not because she met my standard,(she is poor academically bc of her background but intelligent. She has passion to learn but has a very weak foundatn)but bc I met her a virgin when compared to other girls around me then, and bc she was of help to me at some point when I was in dire need. I met her an undergraduate in one of d state universities but cannot even correctly read a paragrah in a daily newspaper.
Since I realised her weakness, I made it a point of duty toalways teach her the basics, and also corrects her regulary so that she can improve. Our kids are doing well bc of the impact of thier school.
The problem now os that since my wife cannot cope with her academics (has a lot of references), and I cannot invest in it aswell bc I insist she mist get d basics, I tried to get a shop 4 her(sells wears) and equipped it to a reasonable extent, assuring her that as time goes on she will enlarge her business.
But, rathet than appreciate all my efforts, she envies me a lot, complains bitterly abt her educatn, discontented no matter what u give her even when she does not expect, nags a lot wc is frustrating and always trying to compete & compare herself with me e.g. she wants to have d no of jackets I ve though she is a business woman. Complaons when I get anything 4 mysrlf even though I tried myself as a man to please her but never satisfied, always complaint.
As I speak to u I had to leave her alone and sleep in a separate rm bc I cany cope with her complains.
Pls, matured minds, I need sincere advice. I ve tried several times to speak to her but that will only last 4 max 2wks.

From your own admission....you stated that you knew she was a virgin, has limited education, and lacks ambition.

This is what I deduced from your ramble....you were excited that she was a virgin and forego'd all the incompatibilities such as lack of education and ambition that you apparently expect in your partner.

Now that you have taken her virginity and the honeymoon stage have depleted....you come on this site complaining about the same woman that you have met before marriage and think that she will change because you married her?

This message for all the single and divorced people.....if you meet someone and she/he possesses traits that is against your liking....do not marry the person because they will be the same person after you say I do. You can't their change personality, opinions, thoughts, and mentality....they can.

jay bee: You married someone that's not compatible with you and decided to forcefully change them so as to suit your own desire.
Young man in the real world, people getting married are supposed to accommodate each other's differences/abilities once they decide to come together to become one.
You have no business forcing your desire on someone who might not necessarily be comfortable with your drive and ambitions.

Having said that though, I'm quite alarmed that you are wrongly viewing your responsibility as a man to your wife as favours cos if not you wouldn't be expecting the common thanks at the end of each single thing you do. Have you forgotten or probably don't understand the triple effect that helping your wife would have on you on the long run.

So you know, you are also helping yourself by empowering your wife.
Going forward, I think you ought to start involving your wife in decision making process, Start having an inclusive relationship and above all value her opinion. Yes we all have desires and sometimes narrow minded with our wants. The greatest mistake people make in life is to try to change the other partner in any relationship.

freecocoa: Afam what is your own with anus? Is that where you keep your important documents?

He is pissed that I won't open my anus.....I think he was fingered before.....

afam4eva: I'm single be cause that's where i wanna be. As it may not be easy for me to meet of with the many essentials of marriage which some of you take for granted. When you're in marriage, you let your guard down.

And you STILL do not understand marriage even after "studying" marriage.


Sure. Tell the lies to the birds. My middle finger salutes you.

afam4eva: For someone who can't let her husband see her anus, i doubt this very much.

Now I see why you are single.

afam4eva: My marriage lessons will change your life forever and will put you on a pedestal that's filled with joy for the rest of your life. Take my advise today and be made whole.

Read my previous post again.

Nothing like a trusting and faithful partner. To bad many will never experience such partner.