They want their cake and eat it too.

And they expect things not to change.

Yes, she can.

I think men need to start reassessing their ego. There is a difference between a "balls to the wall" hard hitting feminist and a woman who is smart, knows herself and her worth and acts like it.

Ms. Lurker:

Yes, they should go to couple's counseling. I doubt the guy wants to change, though.
This is why people need to communicate in marriage. I don't care if you don't like it or not used to it. It's not about what YOu need, it's about being upfront and honest about the situation.

The two folks in this problem.

@Gamine

Be nice.

What should his side be? What would make it okay for him to cheat on his pregnant wife?

Sorry, Leyla, be strong for yourself and your child. Let the sleeping dog lie.

Yes, they should go to couple's counseling. I doubt the guy wants to change, though.
This is why people need to communicate in marriage. I don't care if you don't like it or not used to it. It's not about what YOu need, it's about being upfront and honest about the situation.

JustGood:

What other language would you prefer that I write for you to understand?

Your statement had an error in it, darling.

I hope so anyway, or I believe you may have contradicted yourself.

All that glitters isn't gold.

PepERSprAY:

Forget the abuse part, have you noticed that ibo women have a very thick emotional chord between them and their sons. It's not as if others don't have it but theirs is a bit higher which makes me think there is an innate factor that is the sole cause of it.

I think that's African men in general.

So corruption is acceptable?

lucabrasi:

first off I'm not angry with aa s,all I'm doing is highlighting what is out there already,as for the traditional rulers,the average nigerian detests them even now for their part in evil deeds both then and now in the political sphere, nigerians have problems too but the diffrence is tat aa s have opportunities which they r not taking full advantage of,next accomplished aa s like the hip hop artistes who are actually making money in a time of near recession rather than using it to help their fellow aa s are glorifying th purchase of "bling"thats my grouse with them, houses are being repossesd and sold for less than half the values, if a p diddy or jay z or game and co all came together to form a consortium and started buyng p these neighbourhoods and turning them over to aa s at more affordable mortgages, wouldnt that be better than bling and car buying competitionis it sensible for an adult even if semi literate to rap about buying conflict diamonds when we have seen the children,women e.t.c who have died horrible deaths as a result?
what image are they projecting to the next generation of aa s

I'm sorry but it's not just AA's that have that mentality. Trust me, I think a whole chunk of people who live in America act like that and are materialistic!!

I've heard Nigerians go on about material possessions, Cameroonians, Ghanianas, Indians, Asians, Anyone who has money like "that" in US, should be able to help out but for some reason most are vaguely silent. My thing is AA's aren't the only material hungry ones. All should adjust not just one group.

I hope that if they want to bail we do that before the wedding.

carmelily:

Now that's kind of mean.

It's her husband she's talking about here, people!

Not trying to be blatantly mean but she wants this guy who is outright cheating on her. There is nothing special about a cheater. I don't care what anyone tries to say.

There are sad people worldwide not just in the United States.

if i loved him, sure

~Sauron~:

I expect you to say that. . . . .

Stillwater would explain to her kids and say, children. . . . .This is your 5th daddy.
What a legacy to leave for ur kids!!!

The way this guy is going. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't impregnate other women.

I say, she needs to do what is best for her and the unborn child NOT the man and his ego.

In my opinion. What's in the past should stay there.

igwe 1:

Wait sista, i hope you re not taking this on me.
But for the meantime i think, there is always room for forgiveness else all of us won't be here to tell these stories.
my own suggestion is she should talk things over with her husband seriously and the man has to promise in the present of their people that he isn't going to do it again.
period!!!!!
where is she running? for the man to accept to marry her for the first time, there was love in existence.
whatever happens to it should be dealt with by both parties.

No, not at all. If marriage is supposed to be about communication. Why wasn't this guy communicating with her when he was having his issues? I'm sure he didn't wake up one day and knew he was going to cheat. He should have told her from the START of his emotional quagmire not wait until he acted on it so he could properly repent.

I see nothing wrong with forgiving him. Just because you forgive a person doesn't mean that you still have to tolerate them in your space.

Besides, if this was a woman cheating would y ou guys be so forgiving?

I can see what you mean about family (in a way) BUT an entire village. I am not fond of that.

Anyway, what works for some may not work for others.

igwe 1:

Yeah he sincerely admitted, that reminds me of shaggy's song. It wasn't me.
this proves it right that you girls like it when we tell lies.

Wrong! I would thank you for telling me the truth as I quickly packed my belongings. I'm sorry next to cheating on your wife when she is sick, cheating on her when she is with child ranks just as low.

Your family should know who you are. I mean, as much as they stay up in your life, wouldn't they know that their daughter is not a LovePeddler and should be happily married. Not just married for the sake of putting "Mrs" in front of her name.

Amen, sista!

You are not a good partner or mate for me (nor I, you, obviously) if you cheat. I won't disrespect you, the same should be applied to me.

The only contact he would need to have is only in regards to our child. He and I are through.

I rather be happy and single with my child than miserable and insecure with a cheating husband.

What is there to talk about?

Dude admitted he cheated. There is no need for him to try to save face now.

That's why you take your time and figure out the type of person you are REALLY marrying,

And I wouldn't rush into the second marriage as quick as the first, hopefully this young lady will do the same.

Stop thinkng with your eyes and dick. Be realistic!

She is having YOUR child. It's not about you, right now.

Man up and deal with it. People change all the time.

There is no excuse for cheating on your pregnant wife.

sistawoman:


Leave him.

Twice in 3 weeks time she has caught him. Come on now, not in this day and age do women have to put up with this shit.

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

As much as i would die for mr. sistawoman I would not tolerate him cheating on me.

Preach, sista, preach!
I'm sorry but if he would cheat on you while you were PREGNANT with his KID shows how much of a man he really is. I don't even care if I swole up to a whale's proportions and we can't get busy - you still should not step out on me. I didn't get that way by myself!