I rather wait and see. People can only hold up the pretense for so long. I rather wait a long time instead of rushing and being mad that I did.

myndofgold:

I wont say it is a "naija man" thing, I'll just say it's a man thing period. Everytime i have this conversation with a guy, they sum it up and say  "it is a man's world." well, "IT IS also 2008!" what the hell does "a man's world look like?" wars, economic depression and increasing rate of HIV amongst the women who are foolishly married to your dumbasses while you go stick it up another "man's" ass?! Bleep THAT! I resent that statement! However, I don't really blame anyone (the women who agreed with this statement as well) for maintaining this thought process which is oh so sad because as AFRICAN men especially, sexism has been inculcated into your minds and is so deeply embeded that everyone sees it as normalcy! The monopoly of domination is not as a result of women being the "weaker sex", but sadly a result of women being told over and over again that they should consider themselves LUCKY because some dumb fat dude with loads of money can afford to buy her love, and as long as he "COMES HOME" to her and her children, she ought to turn her head and pretend as though nothing else is going on! So as far as "work-ability" is concerned, well, it's sad to say this, but it is just another institution where the "male sex" which has turned to this socially constructed gender of "power and dominance" tries to maintain the ""glass ceiling" in the name of what?! "culture" is not an excuse for the oppression, dehumanization and objectification of women abeg.

It is a male thing, period. I find it most in the black populace, though. Thankfully, my dad raised a daughter who is independent. Anyway, it has to do with ego and women for so long catering to that ego. Some still do, a great amount of other women do not and men (from my opinion - only) between the two sexes don't take change really well.

Both should contribute.

I plan to not have a big wedding/party so hopefully the bill splitting shouldn't be a problem.

Not all women do.

I hope that I'll get along with mine when that day comes.

I've had female members of my beloved family hate my guts though, well, hate the thought of me. That's because they had someone already picked out for that person and they didn't want to get to know anyone else.

Gotta love it.

What's so great about this guy?

Is there something magical about him? Does he grow gold off his body? I mean, what is it?!

I think it's up to the parents.
I think my family was strict but they also knew that there were some things that they couldn't teach us. All they could do was instill in us the ways that they felt we should be able to handle things.

Have I done things I shouldn't have. Yes. But I also witnessed alot of things that forever burned into my mind what my parent's taught was proven in facts. So now, I thank them.

I don't think the family should discipline my child. If anything, they should tell me what's up and I'll handle it.

I'd like to keep mine. If he complains then I'll hyphenate.

Don Cheadle is so damn hot to me.

Awww, that's really sweet Sistawoman!

Baby Jinx:

I guess it's different in the UK because in the US, by 18 most kids are out of their parents homes and on their own two feet. This the norm that if a 22 years old is still at home, people look at him as a slacker. . . "who still in his parents basement Ewww!" ^{(Insert Valley girll accent)}

Most Nigerian parents here have begun to adopt that mentality also, that by 16 they make sure their kids have started working. I know a guy who went university out of his own pocket. . . and his parents are both here and they had the money, so it's not about having no choice. His parents instilled something in him and it took, which was why on his graduation day, his dad proudly handed him a portion of the school fees and told him to invest it.

So you see, it's about the PARENTS, not which city, which house, which room a child is raised. Parents really need to stop using "We are in Abroad" as an excuse to be lax in their duties.

Excellent! You are one of my favorite posters.

if i love you then i'm not worried about how much money you have.

spoony:

Its true that it depends on who is raising up the child and how, however the environment does play huge role also!
You might try your best to be a good parent, be example of good behaviour, but then the kid goes to school, see other mates (how they disrespect their teachers) and plays outside of school with them too and wants’ to be ‘cool’ and ‘in’ and not laughed at.
Here in Uk is huge criminality between teenagers, almost every week kid is being stabbed by other kids (London).
Most families I know is planning to send their kids to NIG when they reach 15 or so, for couple years, to get the sense of schooling/environment back home. That should give them nice lesson!
I’d miss my boy dearly but I do want him to experience his own country in his childhood. The he can go to UNI in Europe, if he’s up for it.

It still comes back to how you parent. I had friends who acted a fool too, that hit their parents, talked back and got expelled but I'll be damned if I brought that to my parents. If you raise your children correctly they won't be sucked in. I'm not saying its an easy job but it can be done.

plappville:

i think most of them are victim of unprotected sex and do hate to do the abortion thing, it's not that they are pleased to have a child out of wedlock.

Beg to differ. How can you be a victim of something that you willingly do (except for rape cases, of course).

Women need to protect themselves and not expect a man to do it for you. If you don't want a kid, make sure you keep yourself informed.

I understand it too BUT I don't understand why some people trick women (or men) into falling for them when all they want is citizenship. It's evil.

Don't get married. Save the girls the heartache.

chisomquee:

a loving husband can never cheat on his wife,besides it is in the nature of married men to cheat on their wives,it is only a man that is disciplined and have the fear of God that will not cheat on his wife.

Not sure it's nature. They just don't want to have repercussions for their actions.

If he cheats he is not a loving husband.

My dear I'm not disputing you.

I see your point.

I also think it depends on the two people involved. I wouldn't use cohabitation as a reason to split when things get tough. I know relationships are hard.

But to bring someone over that yo haven't had that much interaction with prior too OR it's been a long time since said interaction, I see nothing wrong with testing out the waters by living together briefly. You just don't know these days, unfortunately.

I think it's wrong to mislead someone.

I'm not sure how people can do that and know in their heart what their real intentions are.

I'm Christian and I before didn't believe in co-habitation but this day and age, I rather wait and see who I'm dealing with. If that means we live together then so be it. I don't want to be hitched to someone who flips on me in any type of way.

This is why I believe in waiting and living with the person prior to being married. You can't hide stuff like this when you are living together. I want to see exactly what I'm getting off the bat!

JJYOU:

for years me, almond joy and nwando have been saying same thing here.  majority of them are buy one get one trouble free.  check the thread will you take your gift back? i told my story there.  i nearly bought myself one lovely nightmares too. she is still here and we remain friends. i am thankfull to God it was only money that went

What is your story?

And if you were smart enough to dodge, why didn't frenchman's friend do the same?

Another way to see if it's more than just a chase is if he sticks around even when things slow down (which it will for EVERYONE), if it was just the chase, I'd think most men would bolt then.

But I'm not a guy, so I can't state that this is a fact.