₦airaland Forum

BrwnSugar:
rawswagga- thanks for your post, I dont like long relationships either, but who knows where you meet?
Last night I tried explain it to him, and I told him most of the points here. He says he going to try more, I hope so , because I wont wait for him forever.


ego joy- thanks for your post. I have stopped complaining.

platinumnk- thank you, a week or two should be enough.

Gabry- thanks, he says he is busy but we are working on that, but I dont think meeting should be the main factor. What happens when I go back?

na2day?- thank you, I know they are plenty men, and I wasnt looking for him, he just came.

MzDarkSkin- thank you, he does seem secretive at times, I hoping that will change because I am a open person.

Busy_body- Thank you lady, i am learning from all your posts. All advice I take. Time will tell what is his purpose.
I am African American, but I work with a few nigerian ladies, who are nice.

i am going to tell u this like i would my own blood sister, run and run as fast as u can, he is playing u and once he gets that control u are done for. i got tons of AA girls for friends who are dating nigerians and other africans and i am yet to fail them in an advice. so plz run and get urself a god sent man than the loser u say u are dating

i love UTAH and DENVER, right about now

BrwnSugar:
Hello all,
I learned so much from your posts.
I was wondering what can you get from this . .
I am young, 25, and graduate, and working.  and Im involved with a older guy that I met online. We have been cool friends for several months, and he had hinted many times that he wanted more but I always told him no due to I I dont like long-distance relationships, and he lives in Nigeria while I live in New York. The Guy has a business over there and he does fairly well, and never once asked me for anything, but I never want for anything so I dont ask him for anything.
He recently asked to be serious with me because he is looking to marry soon. I finally gave him, but he is nothing I expected!
He barely calls, and even though he comes online, he doesnt email me unless I mail him.
I dont know much about his background and his people because we dont talk that much, he says hes always busy, and when we talk hes always going to bed, when I call him, ifs its at night he rarely picks, afternoon I work so i cant call him as much as I want to.
He once asked for my sisters and friends number incase he couldnt reach me, but I couldnt give it to him, because I have to make sure he is something I would introduce to my family before I introduce my sisters to him.
They are very cynical towards Nigerian men.
But two weeks he traveled to his aunts house in france and not one family member did I speak to!
I can count on one hand how many times we talked, dont even mention emails!
I told him I feel like he doesnt care, and he insists that no one cares for me more than him, but he will show it better if we meet.
How can I want to meet him, when I feel like i barely know him? I told him that I would rather be friends, because I wont have as much expectation, but as a relationship, its lonely and a bit loveless.
We argue about it everyday, and he say he will change but tommorow the same thing.
I am more of a romantic person. I love attention, and adoration. No Im not being prude, its just the way I am, and I realize that some people are different. . I don’t really like telling people what I like in a relationship because it tends for the other person to change their ways in order to please me, when in fact that it is not their typical nature. and then problems arises when the person begins being themselves again and the other person is left unsatisfied again. I dont think I'm asking too much because I have dated other people with busy careers
How can I help him know what I want, or am Im being paranoid?

there are truck loads of nigerians in the states and alot are in school or working and doing well for themselves, if u are that into nigerian men, why not fish for the ones around u where u can actually find out more abt them easily than sum1 in nigeria and still doesn't send u. "if this is the love the old folks use to warn u about, girl u are in trouble, really big trouble" on 2nd thot, i can call 911 for u

deluxecad:
Come to think of it, the many hearts that have been rent, the careers that have suffered, the emotions that have been so badly seared, the never ending suspicion and all the anxiety and questions flooding Nairaland and other forums of the same sort, is it really worth it to be in a relationship? Not to be cynical anyway. Does it make any sense to embark on something you well know might ultimately mar your good self and place you on the edge at all times? Is it not better to not give anyone your heart and just be mere friends that have nothing to lose in the end? Would you rather date when you aren't ready to settle down considering the dangers it's fraught with? Be realistic now.

short answer, NO, who needs kids?

bawomolo:
who, i disowned andres nocioni long time ago. that useless child

these yeye bulls better hold the 6th seed.

buuaaaaahhh! reality is catching up to u bah?

how abt dem mavs?

goodboybad:
I just entered my first serious relationship months ago. I've always had fantasies of how wonderful a relationship would be like, and I could not understand the why men could not just stick to one lady. Most of my friends that were in relationships told me how lucky I was to be free of women, but I did not believe them.
Anyways, I saw a pretty girl that fit most of my expectations, and I went for her, got her, and now she is head over heels in love with me.
However, I am tired of the relationship, feeling imprisoned, and I want to move on. But I have no tangible reason, the desire for her just died down, and she is noticing and complaining, which is adding to the problem.
Personally, I do not want to be the kind of man that will promise something, then live the girl hanging, we talked about long term plans, and I want to stick to those plans, but the desires are just not there anymore, (besides, Im beginning to find other girls really attractive)
So I need advice from nairalanders,
Is this what I should expect from relationships in general? (if this is the case, then is there any point in moving on?)
Should I try and work on it and try to stimulate those feelings I felt before, will it work?
what should I do?

Your comments (even yabs) are welcome, and I would really like it if people who have experienced this sort situation could give me some advice
(at the moment, I'm trying to see if I can re-animate that initial attraction)

awww, poor baby. how old are u first b4 i give u my advice

edwinia:
do any1 knows d whreabout of edward koleoso

cough cough! ehmmm, who are u and why are u looking for me? btw dont u know u cant be writing my real name in a public forum?

Tatian:
I find difficult to tell him it's over ,  or rather i don't know the best to tell. Cos i respect him. Why do i want to do that, you May ask . Well he's being playing me 4 too long. Pls i need your advises.

he's been playing u for too long but u respect him? i need to go and sleep, seriously

Linguist:
with all the complains, the lies involve in the poster's 'super story' u all are contributing well. NL for u.

90% of the stories on NL are false but we comment on them anywayz, so no biggie

netotse:
@unitee
i'll have you know that association with na2day? is enough to deprive you of said status. . .yes, he's that dangerous!

shatap dia!

unitee:
how are yu? miss yah

miss u too baby what have u been up to?

unitee:
I beg to differ

tell him boo

chamotex:
Oh . . that!
So what are we you going to do about it?

stay very far away from my unitee!

JeSoul:
^lol at all these conversations

You people never fail to make me laugh

As of today, I think I'm going to return to being a Celtic fan. Since I left they have reached new lows, losing to NJ at home? chai. I will be back to wearing my PP jersey during the games so as to resotre a lil bit of good karma back in their direction before everything completely falls apart.

Una hear say Al Jefferson got arrested for DUI? and I thot he was a good kid with good sense.

na jazz u chop? going back to being a celtic fan will only make matters worse for them

bawomolo:
how did jason kidd allow a rookie to score 30 pts on him? i imagine what the likes of tony parker and billups would do to him in the playoffs.

poor al jefferson has no choice but to drink away memories of the eyesore that is the timber wolves season.

like that was suppose to make sense. how many minutes did kidd play against him? and btw didnt we still win? u can score a 100 as long as the "W" is on the mavs side, who cares

JeSoul:
The same Gabe Pruitt that looked like he goes to Deeper life? na wa oh.

why will u insult Deeper Life like that now? wetin Kumuyi do u?

MzDarkSkin:
Folly in a way you are right. I do tend to get aggrivated easily.

understatement! ! !

[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=261058.msg5608765#msg5608765 date=1267466820]Yay, I can finally contribute to this thread too


Dear ex H202,


Sorry it had to end like this,
it wasn't you,
it wasn't me,
it was your bank balance
Hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me
And to reassure you, my mind is not fully closed to you, once you can pick yourself up again and can afford to meet my astronomical needs and wants again, I will be back before you can say "Jack Robinson" `
I am gonna miss you so much [/quote]breeze don blow, fowl yansh don show! so na this kin thing u bin dey do for my back ko?

unitee:
dear MY LYF LOVE

I miss you so much, you are my world

cough cough! who is this one addressed to ooo?

chiogo:
^^ They haven't even started.

And no, those were not jokes.

sorry, we might have old players but they can still play ball unlike a green team i know

unitee:
This obsession is doing mw head in honestly am nolonger feeling proud to be one

hey baby, better be proud that u are one ok, dont let folks make u do what u dont wanna do

i will assume everything i read above is just a joke. anywhoz, those yeye mavs almost gave me a heart attack

and i am ready to be the best man

chiogo:
It's a general use in the tone he used it.

that makes it right? and just for the record, in that sentence that is not a general rule, u can easily say "come on girl!" i suspect u are trying to be like ur fellow high school grads that cant make good sentences too

bawomolo:
see what? why should bulls be intimidated by teams that lose to the nets?
come on man

na woman ooo!

sweetpie23:
think what you want my dear

i did love to think but can i see?

sweetpie23:
tee hee you are not the only men on earth anyway

so technically u are ugly?

ONYENMA:
Good day All, I sincerely need a genuine advise,
I frequently catch my hubby flirting with girls, He apologises though, and I let go, I don't cheat on him and he knows that, but recently he has started accusing me of flirting around, He lives abroad and does not have a job over there, I send him money for upkeep and visit him often, he now threatens to divorce me after all my sacrifices based on this his false accusation, we are from different tribes, I love him so much and he professed same to me and showed it that was why I married him, One fault he has is he is Mummy's puppet and just recently his mother was denied a visa to go and see him, and she has called me names on that and threatens to deal with me, what do I do, we don't have a child yet, I'm deeply in love, Pls help with your advise.

let me take a deep breath here. OP u dey craze, thunder fire u! dem curse u?   i dey go pray and fast on your behalf, God must to deliver u from this foolishness. I go pray say make God smack u hard with some common sense and a very healthy dose of reality. kill urself over one yeye man u hear, nonsense!   - - - - - - - - - FYI: i seriously think this post is fake and i hope it is bcuz if it is remotely true i go come back curse u some more

[quote author=A-40 link=topic=344420.msg5603690#msg5603690 date=1267397288]Thank me Later! Preferably after your Bulls miss the playoffs [/quote]LMAO!

MrCrackles:
Ugly and Fugly girls dont deserve my love, i am sorry!

LOL, isnt that discrimination?

akseptself:
just to be clear, your first post was to show us your pic?  Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

Was that all you understood?

and that u are very tall and very plenty  anywho, i like your stands but just make sure u work on urself in terms of attitude and what u look for, i am sure there are alot of men that will want u without premarital intimacy  what is ur yahoo id?

Naijagal12:
I've been dating a medical doctor for almost 2.5 yrs and he hasn't given me any reason not to trust him. Our relationship is built on love, trust and mutual respect. I also understand that there will forever be temptations around him but that goes for any other man. As far as romance (he's no prince charming), I'm more of a romantic than he is but he does compensate in other ways.

well try me and u will leave that unromantic bf of urs and for the 6 figure salary, there is nothing 419 can not bring

akseptself:
I don't consider myself to be ugly. I do not look like the average gal. I am tall 5'11, heavy set, heavy in thighs and bottom, I wear a size 13 USA shoe.  I don't get any dates due to men being very superficial. All they want to do is use me for intimacy, because to them I'm not good enough to have a relationship with because I don't fit their description of beauty. So, that leaves me to live a sexless and lonely life, because I refuse to allow my body to be used that way. They may not respect me, but I will respect myself. But it is their loss because I am a beautiful caring, giving and loving person. It is my loss as well because I'm left in life being alone and lonely, but I'm learning to accept my lot in life, that these conditions exist.  Accepting doesn't mean I have to like it, but that I don't have to become angry and bitter lashing out at God or everyone around me who is not experiencing my pain. Accepting just means I gonna do everything I can to live a fulfilling life while dealing with these conditions. Accept they are there and get on with my life as best I can. There is so much in life to be enjoyed.
I live alone. I travel alone, and I plan to travel the world. I've been as far as the Philippines.  And as I go I meet very nice people. Though our meeting are short I accept whatever joy God allows me to have in my life even if it short lived.
Acceptance and respect for yourself is the key.

just to be clear, ur first post was to show us ur pic?

ifedy:
Hope no be Tuface dey inspire you sha

na who bi tuface? hin fine reach me?

ifedy:
Seven seas kpere, she suppose add seven mountains join am

i didnt count the mountains as a big deal, i actually climbed nothing less than 14

Mhismole:
Oh honey iv been looking for you! yday was soo dry,

yday i slept all day for some strange reason but i have had my neck deeply buried in books but hopefully i will get a breather soon

ifedy:
Even if I no wan slow my roll before, Jamo disease no go gree me. 
Go away with your heart of hearts oh, I cant afford to be wasted by jamo disease now.
Abeg no kpeme, we still need you now she is yours oh
Biko, how heart of hearts you even get sef.

nne, the number suppose plenty na my african heritage i dey try practice but this particular one is very special ooo, i go through 7 seas just to get her, ko easy ra ra 

hausaman10:
I am avaiable, I currently reside on the east coast part of the U.S. am 30 and am ready for marriage so guys help me out.

do u know how many girls in kano that have been waiting for u?

iice:
[color=#9900ff]As a doctor. . .yes
As for the other two. . .i wouldnt know [/color]

2 out of 3 is not a bad score, i still have hope