₦airaland Forum

I see. But let the ladies use their vocal reporting voice to kick against child battering

IamKashyBaby:
Hahahaah...Baba im not talking abt porn stars ... i am talking abt ordinary men with extraordinary powers in bed

Lol. I understand, am just reacting to your suggestion about couples watching porn to improve, eh, attempting those 'snake in the monkey shadow' styles which you see them do will kill person o. As a matter of fact, you can't do that successfully without drugs.

optional1:
who are the *we*

Ahn ahn 'we' as in guys na.

IamKashyBaby:


I like my man when he's a BEAST on our bed

I learnt that those things are not real and they take drugs to enhance their performances.

optional1:
Men! Men!! Men!!!

So complicated, confusing, so hard to please..

If you try to please them, you are cheap, if you try to love them, you're to emotional
if u don't you're playing hard to get,

If you give them attention, you're bugging them... :->
If you don't you're with another man..


If you demand attention, you are nagging woman, if you don't you are not understanding..

If you're dressing sexy you're attracting other men, If you don't you're local....

If you wash their cloth and cook you're desperate, if you don't you're not a wife material 100yard ...

If you're beautiful you can't stay with one man, if you are ugly, you're not presentable...

If you're independent you're chasing men away, if you're not you're a liability....

If you're pregnant you won't to trap them
If you're not you must have damage your womb




SO MEN WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE REALLY WANT


#copied....








I am in my house in SAMBISA FOREST come and beat me

Its you we want.

IamKashyBaby:


I disagree...
When it comes to sex, its takes 2 to tango OP.. U cannot expect a man to be awesome on bed when his woman will juz lay down and open her legs like a dead log wood...

Women shud help their men to bring out the BEAST in them..
Be specific...
Demand for a CLIMAX..
Begged him to give u multiple orgasm..
Tell him to eat you, flip you and experiment new crazy positiions...

Now, if ur man still a new learner. Why not watch p0rn together..Keep sex always sexciting & keep up the mood.

Watch porn? You wan kill person?

eyinjuege:
You're still not accepting responsibility on behalf of Adam. It was under his watch, he was the one in charge and he failed at it. Otherwise, unless you agree Eve was the one God put in charge of the garden or at the very least they both had equal leadership roles in the garden/ the home.
You cannot have the sweet part of being the head alone, and then refuse to accept the bitter part/ other responsibilities that come with it.
God put Adam in charge of the garden/home. He failed to keep the home/ garden.
I see a repetition of Adam's mistakes and even attitude afterwards in a lot of men generally today. Always failing to accept responsibility, always blaming others and their women for their inadequacies and failure to put a working system in place. Maybe it's ingrained since creation? Or they just lack understanding.

Lol. Adam left the house for Eve to take care of, just for few minutes, within a short while, Eve turned the garden upside down. Yes Adam was in charge, but his assiatant was not wise enough. She fell so cheap to the lies of the serpent. Adam and men being who they are, if he had rejected the fruit, Eve will say he is keeping ''another woman'' outside even if there was none.

eyinjuege:
Anyways, Adam was on duty, and was no where to be found. That's incriminating on it's own, it all happened under his watch.
You might be a good husband, but a terrible father and vice versa. It's not compulsory for that to be mutually inclusive.
You see some men shouting that their grown up children love their mothers more. That's the general belief, but it's all cause and effect. I'm categorically telling you now that it's not enough as a father to just provide for the needs of your children. Men need to do more, and get more involved in family life. Women hit that realisation since, and have being co-providers or even sole-providers in their homes especially these days.
Anyways, we've digressed from the main topic.
My stands on that is that it's everyone's (male and female) responsibility to safeguard/ protect the children and domestic helps. It's not just a responsibility for the women.
Also, child abuse/ domestic abuse on helps is perpetrated by both male and female. It shouldn't be condoned by either. Report any spouse doing so to the police or appropriate agencies, or call the parents of the children to come and pick their children.

It was not under his watch.t

eyinjuege:
3.) Ps 68:5
2.) Where Adam was in the garden? Probably taking a nap. And as usual didn't take responsibility when kasala burst under his watch. Is it not the woman God gave me that put us in this trouble? In short, God caused it by creating Eve.
As a man, never dodge your responsibility and push it towards others, and always accept responsibility for your actions/inactions when things go wrong.
That's the first step in the right direction, otherwise it doesnt speak well of your values.
I repeat again, excuses don't win wars. Thats one of my personal notes to self.
1.) A huge fallacy of hasty generalisation. There's nothing like men are not wired to look after their own flesh and blood. You should see some fathers and how involved they are in the lives of their children. From changing diapers, to waking up at night to feed the child(yes, they mix baby formula themselves. You dont have to be Einstein to do that) . That your talk of a man being wired to be providers is also not working in present day.
Women seem to be holding their own in the work place, and even market place legitimately.
Being a parent entails you being actively involved in all aspects. You need to instil certain good values in your child, otherwise you're a failure. You cant do that without spending time with them, and doing things for them.
Providing for needs is just one tenth of the responsibility of a father. Score of 1/10 is a big Fail. So please never think providing alone is enough as a parent.

First and foremost, Adam was not arround when devil came, Eve could not take responsibility just for few minutes, and that almost cost us eternal life. Secondly, no one is saying men should not assist in domestic shores or thereabout, i will do that myself when i am married, that a man does not involve himself with domestications does not mean he is less than a good husband.

babythug:
https://www.nairaland.com/3625210/pastor-beats-wife-daughters-stupor#53652663

I saw all your evidences, but what you will understand is that the man is an agent of discipline. Though atimes it goes out of hand. Like parents(mothers) threaten kids with their Dad; '' when your dad comes back i will tell him'' we all know that, its quite unfortunate that its went out off hand in those cases.

babythug:
CC NaeChris

I saw all your evidences, but what you will understand is that the man is an agent of discipline. Though atimes it goes out of hand. Like parents(mothers) threaten kids with their Dad; '' when your dad comes back i will tell him'' we all know that, its quite unfortunate that its went out off hand in those cases.

babythug:
In many parts of this country the general orientation is to discipline children via beating, smacking, hitting, flogging and the likes! It's ingrained in many of us so to speak! Our culture also doesn't generally allow people to express their frustrations verbally so many people- mums included express thier pressures via abuse of their children. It's sad but I believe mostly unintentional!

The new generation of parents is trying to veer away from this norm! At least the somewhat exposed couples should be trying to do this!

Also we aren't always equipped with knowledge to be parents and so when a toddler is throwing tantrums we just lash out rather than use "scientific methods" to calm the baby down!

Economic and domestic (being in an unhappy marriage for eg) pressures also make parents abuse children physically!

I guess discussions like this will help more parents realize the errors of thier old ways

BRAVO!! Here you are justifying child battering, but you disaprove it on the opposite end where women are involved. Any african child who reports the mum to police, will be simmered with hot papper. They are aware of this, thus they keep calm.

babythug:
There have been stories like these in recent times! Even here on Nairaland I've read of men-husbands and dads being brutal to thier children, wards and maids!

Could you please tag me to just one, i mean one.

eyinjuege:
Sorry, I can't start breaking the points down, but I'll try to address them. Its gonna be a bit all over the place, as I'm busy but here goes:

1.Why are women closer to their children? Face the truth, the some men have failed in their responsibility towards their children, always pushing the children to the mother. Never wanting to be involved in child care, as if you need to have big breasts to feed your baby formula. Do you need to have big breasts to change your baby's nappy? Do you need have breasts to bath your child? etc
2. The Bible calls Christ as the husband to the widow and father to the fatherless. When you hear a widow saying that, she's just further encouraging herself with the word.
Incidentally, I think women cope better after the loss of a spouse than the men. When a woman dies, some men just dump the childcare of the children to relatives, unlike women who are there for their children despite their own loss. Some men re-marry solely to push the responsibility of raising their children on another woman who really has no vested interests in the children. That's why I feel a bit passionate about people pushing their responsibility on others(you see me shouting that over and over again).
Regarding men beating their house helps, I've seen a lot of cases personally, and even on NL. I will make it a duty to start tagging you and crackhaus whenever I see such stories on NL.
So please, remove that notion that its only the women in the homes that abuse domestic helps. Its not.
So thats why I feel you're stylishly trying to push the advocacy against child abuse on women so as to absolve yourself of every involvement and subsequent hardwork that comes with such advocacy.
You need to get involved.
Women don't like to be battered. Proven statistics/real studies have shown it that homes where domestic violence is rife also has child abuse issues by the same perpetrators. As a Dr, if you see a woman battered by the husband, its your responsibility to find out about children living in such homes because they are equally at risk.

Women don't like to be battered, and have decided to speak out (that seems to be your grouse?) However, going by your analogy that its women that abuse domestic helps (its a wrong assumption btw) I expect the men to be the ones doing the advocacy then, doing walks and awareness against such. So time for men to take up placards (but i know most won't because they are guilty of abusing these helps, same as for domestic violence where some men seem to be against such advocacy because they also beat their wives).

Let me take your points one at a time.
1. Women are closer to the child and seem take care of them better because men are not wired to do that. They are two different beings, they have different duties. A man is the provider, the woman is the caretaker. Similarly, women suffer more when they venture into the duties of the man for any reason, you see the impact on the kids, some drop from school, some go hawking and what have you. When a man loses his wife, he needs a woman to fill up that vacum, he has a different purpose which differs from that of a woman. 2. Where was Adam when devil tempted Eve? Adam was busy in the bush or should i say garden, Eve stayed back to take care of the home as she or women are wired to do so, so you don't expect the man to ''breastfeed'' the baby before he can be called a good man. 3. Where in the bible is Christ called husband to the widow or father to the fatherless? please i want to know. Quote the place.I like to learn.

eyinjuege Be sincere to yourself, have you ever seen or heard where a man beat a child and apply pepper to their private part of a child?

Since these women are quick to be vocal, why not be vocal on this issue? It is just guilty conscience.

eyinjuege:
Women also are in the labour market. Infact, most families that have maids have the women of the house hustling out there. They seem to have taken over the responsibility of the male folks in terms of providing.
Ask around even on NL and you'll find out more people survived and finished school from the hard work of their mothers. So, that's no excuse.
You as a man need to stop giving excuses and start to take reaponsibility too.
Start the movt - violence against domestic helps.
The notion you have that it's only women that abuse their helps is a wrong one. Men also beat mercilessly their house helps, and some even rape the female ones.
So everyone needs to speak against it. Do something about it for once, and don't try to push this on only the female folks because it's EVERYONE'S responsibility to protect children



Excuses don't win wars.
Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. If you as a man keep quiet when a child is being abused, you are also culpable.
What marriage are you protecting in the face of evil.
I've noticed something, and it's the fact that I just see men especially on NL bringing up excuses, excuses, excuses. I think taking responsibility needs to be taught in school. It's a good idea for it to be in the school curriculum.



Again, don't push this responsibility on the children. They cannot handle abuse on their own. Even you as an adult wouldn't want to be involved with the police in Nigeria. The support and provisions available abroad for children undergoing abuse is non existence in Nigeria and you know it

If they are actually in the labour market, how are they then found wanting to such ungodly act? They are said to be closer to the children than their men. Why do women call God their husband(husband to the widow) when they lose their husband? Why is life seemingly a mess after the death of the man? ''Men
also beat mercilessly their house helps..'' how many have you seen and how many cases have been reported? Its just one out of every 10,000. My point is, IF THE SO CALLED WOMEN DON'T LIKE TO BE BATTERED, WHY BATTER THE KIDS? Go to the crime segment and see for yourself what women are doing.

The african child is timid and have no voice.

eyinjuege:
Why do you assume that women should be the ones championing the cause of rape/violence against under aged helps/wards?
What stops men from championing the cause?
Modified- I've also noticed some men also want to push that responsibility of speaking against violence against men on women, and complain that the women don't bring the awareness of such in the society.
Please, get off your butt and do something about it yourselves. Don't wait for any woman to champion your cause. You may have women as allies in such a movt against "VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN", but don't expect them to be the ones to champion it as they may not understand the challenges such men face.

The point it, the so called wicked women know they don't like such batterings yet they make the children go through such why they raise alarm. These children have no voice of their own. They are suffering.

Seriously thats why i love oyinbo children. Them know where police station dey. They treat ya f.uck up at any time. If only Naija kids will adopt that style.

eyinjuege:
Why do you assume that women should be the ones championing the cause of rape/violence against under aged helps/wards?
What stops men from championing the cause?
I believe it's everyone's responsibility to protect the children.
Don't be deceived however that domestic helps are physically abused by only their madams. Some of them suffer physical abuse by the ogas, or even rape atimes.
I believe we have agencies that deal with child trafficking/ child labor (I didn't mention anything about adult domestic helps because they can always walk out of such a situation).
If you as a man believe in pushing that responsibility of protecting children on women, that means you have got it all wrong.
Children/ wards shouldnt ONLY be protected by the madams. Infact, its usually the responsibility of the man of the house to protect everyone under his care. It should be taken seriously. No abuse should be allowed to happen under your watch.
Take responsibility.
Zero tolerance for child abuse/child labour.
As a man, protect the children under your care from abuse ( this is also the responsibility of women too, so no one is exempt from it).
Start the movement and don't wait for anyone else. You can be the change you want.
Your voice as a man will be heard more than any woman's in our society, you will be taken seriously by fellow men who are in the position to make these changes, pass laws and enforce such laws.
Lend your voice as a man.
We also have elderly abuse and abuse of disabled people. These are all worthy causes. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.
Never push responsibility on anyone else, otherwise nothing will ever be achieved. (I know the easiest thing to do is to push responsibility on others, in order to avoid the hard work that comes with it. Wrong mindset)

Modified- I've also noticed some men also want to push that responsibility of speaking against violence against men on women, and complain that the women don't bring the awareness of such in the society.
Please, get off your butt and do something about it yourselves. Don't wait for any woman to champion your cause. You may have women as allies in such a movt against "VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN", but don't expect them to be the ones to champion it as they may not understand the challenges such men face.

The men seem to be ''to busy'' to notice these things. Most times even when they witnessed any, they try to avoid wahala with their wives just to protect their marriages.

jhudit:
Sad one...
Now we understand your grievance.

Op, you can help us champion the case.
Someone has to bell the cat.
The women that beat their helps are wicked...
The men that watch their wives batter their helps,
What do we call such men?

Don't even go there. The men won't stick arround to stop that, cos they are out there in the labour market. Atimes these wicked women are smart enough to resist such satanic influences before their husband and the househelps can't be bold enough to report.

RadicallyBlunt:
Women are naturally selfish and self-centered. That's why they compete with their children over demand for care. Believe me some even get jealous of how their husbands gets to d heart of the child than she does. If they do any little thing, they'll demand for worship.

I happen to be a child of such women. I love my mother but I can't pray for her type as wife. She has never experienced what it means to submit to a man all her life of being a single mother. Now me being the first man to make her realize how a man shd be treated is just a child to her. Why would she bliv anything i say. She battered me while growing up under her...what I would term maternal abuse. She was demanding gifts from me at 100L when I didn't even have enough to feed let alone hand outs.

I had to starve myself and depend on a neighbour for food just to save to buy her Ankara and shoes..Shes a well-paid senior civil servant o. I still don't think a woman can ever love selflessly.

My wife must be better than my mum thats for sure. She is trying but i need and improved woman as wife. No stagnancy.

"Why often, concern is raised on domestic violence against women. But little attention is paid to domestic violence against children especially by the same women who advocate against that meted to them by men." Why is this so?

Saintsammurai:
lol exactly bro, you said it all..

Baba truth no dey sweet, but we need to talk am.

Thats the reality with a realistic example. Broke girls attracts broke guys and vice versa. From observation and survey, more than 80% of Nigerian ladies in particular depend on their guys for almost everything (whether na cause i noo know), this implies that such percentage of ladies are indeed broke. How would you know them? They avoid guys who are working towards financial buoyancy and stability, from their statement you know them. Eg, ''say no to broke guys'' etc.

Lubyna:
Thanks sis. I am patiently waiting for the male refuters to arrive.

I get your point. Its not a bad idea to maintain such standard, but a logical being must not be rigid, atimes, you have to bend based on certain circumstances and situations mostly where love is present. Being rigid will make you spend more time looking for your match, but remember TIME IS FAR SPENT.

sexybbstar:
Mais, Je comprend

Hmm Interesant

sexybbstar:
Happy new month Lalas247, Lalasticlala, McBrooklyn, tosyne2much, shinarlaura, lefulefu, redbeans, deguynextdoor, Toks2008, seun, oyindidi, Aderola15, Tarah, makydebbie, sonofLuci, Victornezzar, greyboy5000, Fadiga24, msroe, thepussyhunter, sekxy, iweecureyou
, jamarifox, Maxi112.



And to everyone I couldn't remember their names.

Happy new month Sexybbstar, Nickzoe

Dhykotomy1:
Looking at the picture, shows the guy is an andicap with only one leg, the girl took advantage of that.

Then he is very stupid knowing he is handicap and fighting.

Hmmm. That guy is less than a woman. Not in this life or life to come make woman beat me. Even if she dey take martial arts lessons. Na just 2 minutes she don dey cry.

debspauly:
lolz. you mean say no be true life story..

The cause of the problem actually happened in the dream. She pour person acid, damaging both breast and one eye of A YOUNG LADY for that matter. Think am na. Not that she snatched her husband in the real sense.