₦airaland Forum

Call me when it reach FP

See that giant jelly fish! Shocking things ooo!

Bloggers! So the card was too wonderful to be snapped?


But come oh, why na gay men dey get HIV pass? Wetin them dey do?

OP, you are not broad at all!

Buy general newspapers, you'll be buying only sport news

Op, hope she won't Halla you?

Why?! Buhari start the bus oo, I will collect my CHANGE when I get to my bus stop.

President Michelle Of West Germany

We will stabilize oil price (you be OPEC? )

I will pay graduates 5K till they graduate and make some aspects of education free (with which money)




I love 9ja, funny leaders everywhere

Or me third to comment?

Deexxy:
[color=#1980BC]Of course you can't even boil water. [/color]

NaijaBoiy is that you?

Make I go chat with am too


Story coming....

chai, 9ja which way?!

Bibidear:
U this man,u couldnt convince ur son to play for naija abi,u try

He actually wanted to play for naija, but NFF rejected him

My state

I sure say na the papa say make he no play for Nigerian Premier League

Na Yoruba and Igbo full the list


With other ethnicities, (before them attack me)

JackErnest:
lmaoooooo...honestly, what were yhur grades in biology?

Chai! Autocorrect oo! Just read my post

PS: am an engineer, left biology a long time ago, happy learning kiddo, do well in your WAEC.

JackErnest:
It's part of the non-venomous boa constrictor family... Pay more attention in class please

He effed up for eating another snake.

Pay more attention to the meaning of someone's posts before quoting him.

See nonsense ! Anaconda you EFF up!

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's a tough life... you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."

Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way!. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, the ten dog gave back, and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."


So, that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house barking at everybody, giving orders.



#BelieveMeAtYourOwnPeril
#NaijaSingleBoy

sssshhhhuuuu! If I no see the first pic, na so I for fall for mama

LET ME HELP LAZY OP:



FULL ARTICLE: A manager close to Oliseh in Europe,
confirmed this on Wednesday that the
former Eagles captain had accepted the
job offer and would work with an assistant
from Europe.


He said,
“I can confirm that Sunny has accepted
the offer and he will be working with an
assistant coming down from Europe as
well.”


On Wednesday, the NFF confirmed they
were in talks with the Belgium-based
Nigerian to replace Stephen Keshi, who
was kicked out as Eagles coach on
Saturday. Oliseh met with NFF president
Amaju Pinnick and Austin Jay Jay Okocha
in London on Tuesday.


The NFF added that Oliseh would come
with a “foreign technical assistant, whose
job description will centre around
development programmes, and working
with clubs’ youth teams and certified
academies towards developing the game
from the grassroots.


“Current stand-in coach Salisu Yusuf will
also be in the new team, but with greater
devotion to the home-based team,
otherwise known as Super Eagles B, and
will be the interface between the technical
crew and the home boys.”


From the details of the package being
finalised, Oliseh is expected to come up
with a five-year developmental plan “to
fashion a unique playing and coaching
philosophy for all the national teams, and
will for this purpose, interface regularly
with coaches of those teams.

SOURCE: Punch

Dharniel:
what if your idiots get to read this?

that's why their names were changed and much info wasn't given.

I've met different personalities through out the course of my life,but I will never forget these three idiots, pardon my language, don't know what else to call them...

Idiot #1: Isaac, oh Isaac, Isaac is an apprentice 'software engineer' close to my company, his company is one of the best around, they even had uniforms .
So what did Isaac do? My phone went dead one Thursday morning, despite charging it overnight, boys were still hustling and that was my only phone.
I decided to leave it at home, it was when I got to work I remembered that there was a phone repair company closeby.
I decided to check on them when I close from work, I went there and met Isaac,and the following conversation ensued;

NSB: Isaac, how far na, abeg my phone no gree on and I forget bring am come work,you fit come house come repair am?

Isaac: no oo,I busy today, bring am tomorrow.

NSB: I dey go Lagos tomorrow, my flight na 2:30pm, and I no dey come work tomorrow, I want to prepare for my journey and put finishing touches on my presentation. So which time you go come?

Isaac: okay, just call me when you free?

NSB: how I go call you when my phone don spoil ?

Isaac: okay, na true, just text me or send me email, shey you get my email ?

NSB: with which phone?


Idiot #2: This happened when I went to buy my first car, I scanned around the garage and instantly fell in love with a Nissan Sentra, but there was a problem, the manager said the key and spare key were left in the pigeon hole and the car had an automatic lock, but I would not be despaired the devil was a liar, I went to call a panel beater to work the door, and bless heavens, he said he could open the doors. I decided to go eat at a restaurant across the road while the mechanic worked the door.
Alas, I came back and saw the mechanic working the driver side, I tried to open the passenger side and lo and behold, IT OPENED!, then I called on him;

NSB: oga! This side dey open oo!

Mechanic: yes, I know, I don work am, so I dey do the driver side.

NSB: SO why you no just open the remaining doors from inside instead of suffering yourself working them one by one?

Mechanic: ooohh! Na true ooo! No mind me!


idiot #3: our company was downsizing due to some financial problems, some workers had to be let go.
So the company decided to hold a sendforth for the out going workers to award them for meritorious service to reduce the pain of losing their jobs.
During the course of the party, it was time for the MD to give his speech and he started by saying;
"Wow! This is fun! We should do this more often!"

Everyone just looked at him like ''.

#NaijaSingleBoy


cc: ishilove , obinoscopy , lalasticlala

. .mhmm

2nd TC

SPACE BOOKED!

chai!

INTROVERT