₦airaland Forum

babyosisi:
Lol @ the highlighted
Nne na wa o
God help us all

Pls ma, you have a mail

babyosisi:
Thanks
And I want to make certain the young girls don't get mixed messages
That's why I won't let these odd examples slide

Lol, ok ma, I dey your back

bukatyne:
I do not agree with nannymcphee..

My hubby likes to buy pots/cook meat himself/wants Egusi done in a special manner is different from cheating or abuse

I would encourage people to work out their marriage and adapt to meet your spouse's needs but I draw a line at cheating and abuse.

CC: cococandy
madam I respect ur difference in opinion

So what will you do if your husband is having an affair? Pack out of the house?

in the case of assault, should he slap you, will you pack out?

the wrestle mania in my home was a fair fight, my dad wasn't out to cause bodily harm, neither did it result to my mum bring hospitalized

Infact when the first slap is given, my mum retaliates & the fight begins, so its not as though bottle or knife or wood was employed. Neither did my dad use the whole of his might as a man to fight, I do know with this scenario a lot of things can still go wrong


If a man becomes abusive to the extent of bodily harm being done, then I can subscribe to separation or divorce!!

If a man hits a lady & she is pleading or crying & he doesn't stop, then the beast in him is at work, a sane man shouldn't use a combination of blows or slaps or anything on a woman!!

The next question is what triggers such reaction from him?

Everyone keep hammering on the man for using his God given natural strengt/might on a woman(not an excuse o) but everyone seems to turn a blind eye when the woman uses her God given natural ballistic tongue/mouth on a man (which sometimes is the cause of the beast rising up in the man)

As for cheating, my advice is look well before u leap & if after leaping, then pray to God for wisdom in handling the matter

Not that this is an excuse, some men were pushed into extramarital affairs cos of their wives(either they had to peace at home, so they found solace in the arms of another woman or they were being nagged to death or unskillful in bedmatics or the men were being emasculated etc the list goes on)

so sometimes plugging these holes might help & then a bachelor who partied & clubbed a lot or imbibed the act of one night standsl might find that habit difficult to break in marriage, so if u got into such union thinking you will change him, well sorry for you


PS:I sent you a PM, I don't know if you got it, how can I reach you, I need to discuss something with you

cococandy:
I really didn't get your point.

But it is ok.

My point is, if things aren't working out or following the norm, don't just jump ship

Fight & slug it out, find out ways to make it work by either changing the situation or managing it without it being at ur detriment, above all patience & perseverance & an understanding of who you are with

cococandy:
What if one of them killed the other within the first 10yrs?

Good question!! It would have ended bad for my father & us the kids

My point being it worked out for us & for some other it won't.. My point being if you give up just because it doesn't fit the norm, you might loose out

I was dumbfounded when I read about ladies who got infected with HIV by their husbands, these women probably followed the norm & ended up infected but I also believe they would have also done some things to prevent such(like mandatory test or the use of condom)

I know there are exceptions but most times ladies do know when their husbands are cheating but they choose to turn a blind eye, infact before the wedding they always knew but felt they could manage or change him

so if you are married to a cheat, kindly discuss with him & give him conditions such as the tests & conforms etc cos its only God that can make a cheat turn around or a man with strong principles & convictions

No amount of war will make him change, you will end up pushing him out the more, so it pays to knows your spouses inclination before marriage, most men don't hide it, there are statements they make that will give u a hint

Even in Christian counseling, sometimes the norm isn't followed. Someone mentioned how the pastor instructed her to apologize to the husband for snooping around his phone, his crime was no longer the issue but her checking the phone

The pastor got insults,Someone else here had the same issue & her parents asked her to apologize, the truth is we here are the ones without privy background info, we are screaming based on the norm but the pastor & the other lady's parent are the one with specific knowledge of the couple or circumstances & I believe they judged accordingly

Just to digress a little, some folks see no need to seek counsel from a pastor before getting married(am not talking about see vision & the future) forgetting that the pastor probably know the person more than u or a certain challenge that the person has that u don't even know of & when it comes to light it might not be something u can handle

An individual might have some spiritual issues or even physical challenges & maybe he or she is currently being helped or counseled by a leader, knowing how big that issue is & that the person hasn't over come it, out of the blues the individual comes up to say I want to get married, if you are the minister, will you give ur blessing?

back to the issue, what works for A might not work for B, mama onegai had every reason to challenge papa onegai over the pot issue cos as rightly pointed that was supposed to be a woman's territory, but she knew what rocks the husbands boat & chose to act according to Oga's dictates. At the End of day, Papa onegai ego was massaged as The Lord,master & sole provider while mama onegai got her new pots!! (No wrestle mania, no Inlaw to settle any matter)


lets pray to God for us to find the easy path & that which will work for us!!

babyosisi:
Sorry I have to say it here in the spirit of this thread so no one gets the impression that this is acceptable behavior
It's not
I have never seen or heard of a man who takes notice let alone care about the pot his Okro and Ogbono soup came from
He is controlling,extremely controlling
That is not how to treat a woman you love
I hope when you get married,it won't be to someone who will subject you to schemes and devices to get ordinary pots bought
Things a man shouldn't be concerned about in the first place
If she had the means she could have simply gone to the market and bought herself some new cooking pots
That is a woman's territory

But ma, I think we have to recognize the fact that life is dynamic & comes in different shades

The most important thing should be finding out what works for you. I believe in the bid to fit into the norm, trouble will come

I know of two family friends, their husbands does the shopping, I don't mean grocery shopping o, your typical market, bargaining for meat & Maggie & the likes, is this normal? (If its about education, one of them is a charactered account with a reputable firm, though he is late)

I don't mean occasional shopping, it is what they do, their wives don't go to the market

here on NL, alot of folks clamor for separation on the event of cheating & physical abuse. There are women that endured such for 5, 10yrs & later things changed while for some it didn't end well

using myself as an example, there was lots of wrestle mania in my home while growing up but at a point it all stopped, until my dad's demise they clocked 35yrs of being married, the first 10yrs being full of fights. meaning the next 25yrs was that of bliss, if my mum had packed out within the first 10yrs nko, maybe I won't be here today

It is everyone's prayer that the evening stage of our lives should be better than the morning stage, is the above example not an answer to such prayer.

I'm not an advocate for assault/cheating, but stuff happens, folks are talking about men cheating & cleaning their tracks, we have had cases of men who brought another lady to their matrimonial beds while madam was at home!! Some endured & it later worked out for them, for others it didn't.

The key is to find out what works for you & not trying to copy the norm or the jones, in life there are so many things that are not supposed to be but they end up being so!!

pickabeau1:
Just to ask

Ok o, how are you doing? Just wanted to ask, hope you haven't forgotten what Aisha discussed with you? I guess the modalities are being worked out

Thanks for your time/effort

pickabeau1:
So ikani
Is there any feedback

Bros are you really expecting one?

The ship has Long sailed!!

Some people's intelligence baffles me, this thread right from page 1 is filled with doubts as to genuineness of the OP

Then this fellows comes out from nowhere in the middle of this to drop another ridiculous request, he/she couldn't open a new thread & expects a favorable outcome

I'm yet to see an Internet forum where guest can make comments without registeration or filling a simple form, some forums sef u can't search as a guest

This fellow claims he/she has been a guest for years without knowing one has to register before making comment, MSC indeed


House, Abeg I dey build house, close to lintel level:blocks, sand, cement, roofing sheet will be greatly appreciated even if its a loan

@chaircover & pickabeau1

Thanks, I'll do as u have said

Henceforth

pickabeau1:
He mentioned 36K for scholl fees

See this post below

Ok my mistake, but he told me the school fees was 35k exclusive of course reg form, departmental due etc

meaning if all this had not happened, he could have come back to ask for course reg fee, faculty fee etc

If a 300l student does not know the meaning of exclusive & inclusive, then he ought not to be there in the first place

Let him upload the original bank teller!!

Hope you have seen what ferguson wrote about EDS & no penalty fee for late payment


Whats pissing me off is not about what I gave him but that he is taking everyone for a fool & a ride coupled with his "molue jam plane stories" & dumb answers

You can piss on my face but pls don't tell me it's raining!!!

pickabeau1:
He gave a detailed break down

In his email to me

He mentioned the school fees was 27,000 with a late fee penalty of 5,000
There is a 4,000 for EDS - Enterpreneurial Development Studies


I guess if there was a delay beyond a certain date, there was an additional penalty

Ikani... do you now see the problem with lies
Everyone doubts you even when you are saying the truth

the breakdown he gave you isn't correct, the total will be 36k, he never mentioned 36k in this thread!!

secondly why didn't he state it here that it was 26k with an additional 5k late payment fee?

he also said that it was for school fees exclusively?

where did he get money to pay for course registration?

he should kindly upload the bank teller used in paying into the bank and the official school receipt (for the school fees and the late payment fine)

Infact he should also include the receipt for the entrepreneurial dev studies payment

in my school days, you take the teller and printout to the bursary unit and you will be issued a receipt.

Ikanium:
yeah the school fees is 26,600 it was meant to be paid on the 19th of last month after then late reg comes in which is 5,000 then other dues follows i pasted the school's calendar for this session the school resumed 5th of january they gave us till 19th to pay up that is returning students. Thanks

Maybe my Math is rusty, 26,000+5000=31,000

Where
26,000=actual school fees
5,000=alleged delay payment fee

Q3. How come u ended up paying 35k?

Ikanium:
You pay your fees and wait for the pin immediately you get the pin you proceed to the digital centre for online registration, tick the courses you offer then your course form is printed together with your receipt.......

Remember you told me that the course reg was not part of the 35k but suddenly, from ur above quote you have registered your courses!! How come

Instruction 1: upload a copy of the teller u used in paying in the bank (this was what u uploaded in ur 100l)

Instruction2:upload the official school receipt for
a. School fee
b. late payment fee

I asked for this because both items will have a receipt, either separately or together and it will be stated on it what it was meant for

The things u uploaded they are printouts!!

Even if you choose not to answer my questions, kindly upload what I asked for, cos that will show whether you have repented or a scam!!

Pls don't give me any "Molue jam plane" stories

Make it concise

Double post

the fees you are sourcing for is meant for your 300l, am I correct?

What about course registration fee, faculty dues, departmental due etc are they inclusive of the 35k

The above quote was the question I asked you & here is the link

https://www.nairaland.com/1129091/nairalander-pay-school-fees/10#30093295

you told me the 35k was just for your fees only(ie it didn't cover course reg fee, faculty due & departmental due) below is ur actual response

Ikanium:
thank you ma'am i have taught of a business that should not take much of my academic time 100lv, 200lv was really choked... What i have in mind now is importation of female shoes, bags, wrist watches just female stuff am sure it will move fast and will not affect my academic time. The 35,000 is just for the fees not that i have other fees already it just that the school fee is what i must pay fast because the more delay additional fees come in. I still have some other dues and hostel fees to pay thank you ma'am

Q1. why didnt you mention it here from the start that ur fees was 26k & that there was a delay fine of 5k?

Q2.In your response to me above you said the school fee is 35k & the more delay will lead to additional payment, why didn't you tell the house that because of the delay the 26k has bumped up to 35k & it could still increase?

But u gave the impression that the actual fee is 35k & delay could cause it to increase(another emotional blackmail)

Always tell the truth & be ready to face the consequences.

All those emotional blackmail & tales of woe's you have, package them & save them for the marines or bury them. don't bring them up here or anywhere.

I hope you have learnt your lesson, now go & sin no more!

while I find nothing wrong in sponsoring someone through school, playing on people's intelligence is what I detest.

On a personal note, I like giving people the benefit of doubt & once you default, I cut you off

Ikanuim has been given the benefit of doubt & he has been found wanting.

pls aisha2, ifyalways what I earlier said still stand regardless of what this boy has done. When u find a verified case, holla at moi

ifyalways:
May God direct us to help people that are actually in need. That's my prayers.

A very big AMEN to this

charity is one thing I want to face this year, but my main concern is being scammed & being harmed.

I would have channeld it thru church but much emphasis is on giving to church projects so I don't know if it will be used as I specify

Ikanium

on the issue of 10k, You think the lady was plucking the funds? You were channelling your funds home, was that the reason she sent you the money, yet you kept painting a picture that it hasnt been easy!

in an airplane, when oxygen mask are deployed, one is instructed that you must wear yours first before you even apply thy of your kids!

It is the man that is strong enough that can pull someone up!!

people put up funds to help you through school & not for you to send money home, the best you can do for yourself is to do well in school & graduate, when you start earning from your sweat then you can send home.

You better come back here & offer an apology for all of this & give a concise explanation for the turn of events

we all have stories to tell & things to do with money, that funds were sent to you does not mean that they were just lying around or that we don't have our challenges too

So stop the emotional blackmail

how dare you say this to someone that is trying to help you!! For your info ifyalways & aisha2 are one of the reasons I gave to you(I don't know them but I know that are active in charitable cases & their presence was here)

You have balls & no shame to have said this(pride inclusive)

Ikanium: Don't criticize what you don't understand ma'am you never walked in my shoes''

you were asked simply questions below, rather than give concise answers as you have been taught by pickabeau1, you went on an epistle

aisha2: Waiting for you to respond to somebody.

1. Did she pay your year 1 and 2 fees?

2. Did she send you monthly allowance of N10,000?

So kindly answers the above questions again in a YES & NO format, I'll also ask for how long did you receive the 10k allowance?

I'm disappointed that not much has changed in terms of your intelligence, I stumbled on this page this year, right from the inception of this thread your posts have been filled with unintelligible responses, starting with the account name discrepancies to Eco bank nuban number drama & the other guy who was talking rudely(you're begining to sound like him) etc

you HAVE to offer an apology to the house!!

I now understand why Seun refused to create a charity session:he doesn't want to create a platform where people will be scammed or taken undue advantage of

Double post

have u considered the things I listed before, I didn't get a feedback on that

Barbing saloon & business center(students will always cut their hair & make photocopies & type projects/assignments)

Excerpt your campus is already saturated with these two.

importation might be dicey(I stand to be corrected)

I have instructed someone to pay in 5k just now. Kindly confirm receipt

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00KYFEB24/ref=pd_aw_sims_1?pi=SS115&simLd=1

I need 4 pieces


http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00DY2IMBK/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?qid=1422351774&sr=8-6&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&dpPl=1&dpID=314b2gzsGQL&ref=plSrch

I need 2 pieces


total breakdown pls including delivery cost to Benin city

ifyalways:
How far,IKanum?

Have u not raised anything? You sef, you appear to be too dull. A hustler would have been able to raise something or not even come back here after the first year. According to you, a nlder gave u a laptop which you sold for year 2 fees, does it mean you've not been working and saving?

Back to the matter, how far now?

Hello ma'm, I sent you a PM, you haven't responded, I noticed you are an active participant in charitable cases like these, I will appreciate if you mention me in any other case that has been verified from time to time.

Thanks

CC:aisha2

I was a student & I know how difficult it is to sponsor yourself in school

the fees you are sourcing for is meant for your 300l, am I correct?

What about course registration fee, faculty dues, departmental due etc are they inclusive of the 35k

you started this journey in 2012, have you been able to identify a business u can do that will fetch you money on a consistent basis(recharge card sales, barbing saloon, business center-photocopying & typesetting, photography )

If you have, what is it?

it's not just about helping you with funds thru school, you need self sustaining outfit , this is what will help you thru post university life, even after you get a job


So if you don't have one, think of one now & put it up? Folks will be more willing to help u set it up

kotias003:
I'm hardly ever on nairaland. Would have helped with your question. Not only do they teach how to sew, they have an excellent curriculum.
Check out L'authority Ideas Fashion Academy. They are situated at Adebayo, Ado-Ekiti.
Or call 09034911773.
Best of luck.

Thanks, I'm grateful

deborah777:
Just for curiousity to understand CE more. I do not plan to join with them.

Well I can't be of help then, firstly it's not wise to wash dirty linens in public

One thing I can say is this, if you are focused on God & his word while there, you will grow, I said this because you will see a lot of things that will distract & discourage you.

if you are fortunate to have a good leader, then your growth will be fast but if not, sorry for you

I was blessed to have a good leader, taught me how to listen to messages, taught me how to pray, how to give, how to go for evangelism etc

during take off or landing, If you are experiencing pains in your ear, kindly do ANY of the following

1.pinch your nose(block ur nostrils) & blow out breath with ur mouth closed:this is known as Valsalva maneuver
2. chew gum
3. Swallow your saliva repeatedly

If you are with a child or toddler, give them gum to chew or a sucker to suck.

When my plane was descending, my ears almost popped out, I didn't know any of the above then, I firmly closed my ears all to no avail

Just a piece of advice

during take off or landing, If you are experiencing pains in your ear, kindly do ANY of the following

1.pinch your nose(block ur nostrils) & blow out breath with ur mouth closed:this is known as Valsalva maneuver
2. chew gum
3. Swallow your saliva repeatedly

If you are with a child or toddler, give them gum to chew or a sucker to suck.

When my plane was descending, my ears almost popped out, I didn't know any of the above then, I firmly closed my ears all to no avail

SenatorJames:
So sad.


May God heal her perfectly

In Acts 4, the apostles prayed the prayer below, take note of the bolded

Acts 4:29
And now, Lord, behold their threatenings: and grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word,
By stretching forth thine hand to heal; and that signs and wonders may be done by the name of thy holy child Jesus.


They prayed that God should stretch forth his healing hands & in the next chapter below , it is stated that signs & wonders were wrought through the hands of the apostles(but their prayer was that it should be thru Gods hands)


Acts 5:12
And by the hands of the apostles were many signs and wonders wrought among the people; and they were all with one accord in Solomon's porch.

So sir, the healing can come thru your hands, it is said that God works thru the hearts of man

Together we can do something that will make this lady say " there is a living God"