₦airaland Forum

daamazing:
SARS UNA DON HEAR?!

SARS is another matter for another day, their own case nor be here

bigass:
Laws of each land differ. In Nigeria it is illegal to record an officer without permission. So the issue is we need to fight against such laws.

Ok, point 1 struck off, what about other points

A video showing police officers of the dallas suburb of mckinney responding to a disturbance call at a pool party, has shown a police officer by the name of Eric Casebolt wrestling a 15yr old teenage girl to the ground despite her non resistance to arrest & also pulling a gun on two unarmed teenage kids. the video also shows him punching a 13yr old girl who tried to intervene.

This video sparked up lots of protests & in a swift reaction the police department placed the officer on administrative leave(as at the time of writing this, he has tendered his resignation)

The police chief was also quoted to have made the following statements

"Officer David Eric Casebolt's actions were
"indefensible,"

"our
policies, our training and our practices do not
support his actions."

"He came into the call out of control and the video
showed he was out of control during the incident,"

POINTS TO NOTE

1. The individual who captured the event on video was not manhandled or shot neither was his phone destroyed

2. The police department did not do a cover up, the erring officer was placed on leave

3. The police department did not spin the story around to say that the teenage girl was an armed robber or that the girl tried to beat up the police etc

4. A group has petitioned the US department to review the McKinney police department's policies in responding to calls & the use of force

The above points are worthy of the attention of the Nigerian police Force. The media is daily awash with stories of Nigerians who are constantly being harassed, brutalized, oppressed & victimized by men of the nigerian police force, the recent being the lady who was tortured for an iPad.

Before we criticize the perpetuators of these abuses, we need to ask these pertinent questions,

have the nigerian police officers been trained in upholding the rule of law?

have they been trained in human relations?

Have they been taught the rules of engagement, the use of force etc

Are these trainings regular?

I dare say No to these questions(I stand to be corrected) there have been cases where you quote a section of the constitution to the police & you are told "dey quote law when you don tire you go know"

Isn't that sad coming from a man who is meant to enforce & uphold the law!!

Back to the matter at hand, the Nigerian police should act in line with those points raised

1. They shouldn't cover up for the illegal actions of its men

2. They shouldn't brand victims as robbers or kidnappers neither should the story be turned around-this reminds me of the case where a video showed a drunk policeman assaulting a lady in a pool of water with other policemen watching, when the matter got to the station it was said that the lady was the one beating the policeman

3. when there are cases of abuse, the affected police department should revisit its policies & retrain its personnels.

If the above points are acted upon, I believe there will be great changes to the current state of things.

Nannymcphee

REFERENCES
http://news.yahoo.com/texas-city-police-pool-incident-once-lauded-survey-215601984.html

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jun/08/texas-pool-party-police-dajerria-becton-eric-casebolt-rude


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R46-XTqXkzE

CC:ishilove
Lalasticlala
ikenna351
afam4eva

A video showing police officers of the dallas suburb of mckinney responding to a disturbance call at a pool party, has shown a police officer by the name of Eric Casebolt wrestling a 15yr old teenage girl to the ground despite her non resistance to arrest & also pulling a gun on two unarmed teenage kids. the video also shows him punching a 13yr old girl who tried to intervene.

This video sparked up lots of protests & in a swift reaction the police department placed the officer on administrative leave(as at the time of writing this, he has tendered his resignation)

The police chief was also quoted to have made the following statements

"Officer David Eric Casebolt's actions were
"indefensible,"

"our
policies, our training and our practices do not
support his actions."

"He came into the call out of control and the video
showed he was out of control during the incident,"

POINTS TO NOTE

1. The individual who captured the event on video was not manhandled or shot neither was his phone destroyed

2. The police department did not do a cover up, the erring officer was placed on leave

3. The police department did not spin the story around to say that the teenage girl was an armed robber or that the girl tried to beat up the police etc

4. A group has petitioned the US department to review the McKinney police department's policies in responding to calls & the use of force

The above points are worthy of the attention of the Nigerian police Force. The media is daily awash with stories of Nigerians who are constantly being harassed, brutalized, oppressed & victimized by men of the nigerian police force, the recent being the lady who was tortured for an iPad.

Before we criticize the perpetuators of these abuses, we need to ask these pertinent questions,

have the nigerian police officers been trained in upholding the rule of law?

have they been trained in human relations?

Have they been taught the rules of engagement, the use of force etc

Are these trainings regular?

I dare say No to these questions(I stand to be corrected) there have been cases where you quote a section of the constitution to the police & you are told "dey quote law when you don tire you go know"

Isn't that sad coming from a man who is meant to enforce & uphold the law!!

Back to the matter at hand, the Nigerian police should act in line with those points raised

1. They shouldn't cover up for the illegal actions of its men

2. They shouldn't brand victims as robbers or kidnappers neither should the story be turned around-this reminds me of the case where a video showed a drunk policeman assaulting a lady in a pool of water with other policemen watching, when the matter got to the station it was said that the lady was the one beating the policeman

3. when there are cases of abuse, the affected police department should revisit its policies & retrain its personnels.

If the above points are acted upon, I believe there will be great changes to the current state of things.

Nannymcphee

REFERENCES
http://news.yahoo.com/texas-city-police-pool-incident-once-lauded-survey-215601984.html

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jun/08/texas-pool-party-police-dajerria-becton-eric-casebolt-rude


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R46-XTqXkzE

CC:ishilove
Lalasticlala
ikenna351
afam4eva

Pls I will like to know Dr olukoya's stance on "giving(charity works & giving to the church)"

Can anyone give me his messages/articles on this subject

CC:ishilove
semid4lyfe
omoalata

An2elect2:
How can your "good leader" teach you what only the holy spirit can?

while I was in school, my leader use to take us to a very remote place on campus to go pray

sometimes from 9pm, 12am

then we use to have early morning prayers

Then all night prayer meeting(not at church level) but At cell level

Then schedule fasting program

Overtime these things became part of me, then she was transferred off campus, I could now do these things on my own

Imagine a Christian who doesn't have such foundation with a leader guiding them


on the issue of giving, then If I don't give my offering because I didn't have, I used to feel bad then I will console myself by saying God will understand

But she taught me otherwise that you plan for ur offering, that way u will always have to give

She made me see that I don't give excuses when it comes to transport fare or recharge card money or hairdo money because I made plans for them, I was taught that u plan for it by setting it aside

It's not on service day u start looking for change or offering money cos you might have spend it during the week

She taught me how to give at my level according to how God has blessed me. Imagine a lady who bought a weavon of N30,000, phone of N40,000 etc hope u get the picture

Then comes offering & she is giving God N100, it's not commensurate with her level

If I can spend huge amount on fashion, leisure, relationship then I should spend a comensurate amount on God

On envagelism, we had scheduled times, where she takes us out to go on envagelism, from there I was guided, my confidence was built

I can go on & on, hope you get the picture of how I was taught by my "good leader" & how the Holy Spirit wasn't downplayed in any way

Gombs, maybe u can throw more light

PS:the Holy Spirit is a master communicator/teacher, why then do u need to go for courses/training programs on how to become more productive at work

Why do we go to school to learn about a trade or profession or craft

Is it that the Holy Spirit can't teach us??

An2elect2:
How can your "good leader" teach you what only the holy spirit can?

Eph 4:20 talks about the various offices for the perfecting of the saint & the work of the ministry

if u understand that those offices aren't a substitutes for the role of Holy Spirit then u will understand what role my leader played!!

I hope you are aware that most practices in Christianity doesn't become a habit easily, it comes thru diligence & practice

Most Christians know about giving, praying & envagelism, how many really do these things?? Is it that the Holy Spirit isn't there or what?

WinsomeX:
nannymcphee, I will like to know your views on the book whose download link vooks placed up there.

Ok, that might take some time, am not a fan of ebooks, get tired of reading from the screen easily

damosky12:
Sir, no spiritually matured folk will deify a man of God. But, most of the guys who do this are the "little ones" amongst the members.

Let's stop this act of jumping into conclusion. Pastor Chris is honoured as a man of God. But, not "worshipped". Do your observations right.

You are on the defensive!! you talked about maturity!! I have heard senior pastors call pastor Chris "Jesus on white suit"

I have heard, not that them say but I heard it with my ears

Will you say a senior pastor ain't mature or term him/her a "little one"

On the issue of honor & worship, the defense u put up is same with that of the Catholics about Mary but you & I know what's obtainable there


Don't put up a defense or an excuse, offer an explanation if u can & not give an excuse

Especially when your excuse will not hold water when juxtaposed with another's experience

Eg someone said he went to a CE church & was forced or taught to speak in tongues

Rather than call him an outright liar, you tell him what we really do & point it out that what he experienced isn't a CE thing & if his experience is true, the bro/sis was wrong

when a large number of folks begin to have issues & misconceptions about you, u aren't suppose to ignore but to carry out a check to see where it's coming from & how to correct it if need be

I have been a foundation school teacher, I have been to several CE churches before, I have rubbed minds with high ranking leaders(pastors inclusive:no need to mention names) so I know alot about this ministry

Some folks that are screaming here, haven't left their state chapters & they think what's obtainable in theirs is what's obtainable everywhere

you will agree with me that some of these happens when immature brethren are given responsibilities to handle & when the wrong things are done or words are used, the first timer runs with such after all, it was done by a leader( not knowing that the so call leader wasn't mature)

This ranges from dressing, to tongues, to giving, everything u can think of

as I earlier stated there are wrong practices but alot also stems from isolated actions from individuals

Winsomex you talked about marriages earlier on, do you know that pastor Chris never knew that such was going on, until he found out & addressed the situation, he is still doing that till date( there are details i can't go Into)

As I have stated in older posts, some things that are happening aren't known at the top, while some starts from the top, others either an over zealous member or leader acting based on his or her discretion.

The results are what is being pointed out on this thread

Joagbaje: TRASH !!!! . No one teaches such things in ce . Speaking in tongues can't be taught . What we can say is rather to teach you on how to RECIEVE the holyspirit . Not how to speak in tongues. Christ embassy is a sound bible teaching ministry . And satan won't stop ,manipulating propangada . To gullible ears

I will fault you here sir!! some of the things in this thread is based on a false impression of how CE is viewed based on isolated or negligible actions of few individuals in the ministry

Eg, the young men went to church & had this experience, in his mind he will think that this is what's obtainable in every CE, he might even go as as far as assuming that, the brother that briefed them is a pastor or a high ranking leader considering the fact that he was entrusted that responsibility of attending to first timers

Rather than call it thrash, you would have explained what the right thing ought to be!!

I once attended a meeting where a cell leader called folks who weren't filled with the Holy Spirit, he laid hands on them & he started to speak in tongues, telling them to just open their mouth to speak, he then proceeded to hold their arms & shake them telling them to speak

his Pcf leader walked in at that point & corrected the situation, if a first timer was there won't he leave there with the impression that CE forces people to speak in tongues (assuming if the situation wasn't corrected, even with the correction sef)

You don't know much about me, I have spent years in this ministry, will you call me a liar too?

Have you asked yourself why most folks think that CE teaches people how to speak in tongues or forces people to speak in tongues?

your quoted post sir is one of the reasons these assumptions continue to fester

The young man also wrote this

And this issue of cell leader is confusing. The brother also said we cannot approach the pastor directly.

The above is probably another misunderstanding of what was probably said, maybe the brother was trying to explain the cell system & the way the church has been structured, the poster of the opinion that you don't have direct access to a CE pastor, this again is what feeds this kind of thread or assumptions people have about the ministry, which you haven't corrected

PS: hope you get the angle I'm coming from, some of the things written on this thread is the truth, while some stems from wrong perceptions or assumptions gathered from isolated actions of individuals in the ministry

Floodgater:
A major part of the high risk she meant is that older men like that yet unmarried have issues and tend to go for younger girls they think they can easily handle, exceptions exist too. Like thorpido says, he needs a wife more than a lover hence his actions not necessary the phleg thing as phlegs love like others too. The major weight in babyosisi's statement is the age. In your heart of hearts are you comfortable with the over 10yrs difference (guessing), do you know and are you ready to go with the issues associated with such wide gap age union. As for what you fear concerning the church thing, i wrote something on page 91 about it. I still think she would not have expressly adviced in that direction if he was younger.

Your posts are always insightful!! It will be easier to read if you employ the use of paragraphs

Thanks

There is a perversive demand for money in the church, to the extent that member "sow" all their possessions and money to church. It is not uncommon to find members begging people for money to give for offering

Enshrined in the second stanza of the believer love world anthem is

"believer love world, all we know is a life of giving"

So giving is a way of life there, are there irregularities? YES are there abuses YES

It doesn't means that's what is being taught or its obtainable in all CE churches!!

Stories of people defrauding their companies to give to church abound in the dailies. The atrocities are endless.

This also isn't taught, folks who got involved in such got carried away, no one told them to go defraud or steal or prostitute to give in Gods house

Did anyone tell them not to read the bible, these things are clearly written in scriptures

I also have to acknowledge that be because of the abuse & irregularities in teaching of giving, has led to the above quote happening too

The biggest proof of the cult of CEC is the freedom they deny their members. Members cannot critique Oyakhilome. If you do, the threat of a curse is issued

This stems from the teaching of "ministerial infallibility" & the "touch not my anointed"


All you have stated are prevalent in most Pentecostal churches & the panacea is understand of Gods word & maturity

mention one church that hasn't missed it in one area or the other

winsomex: .

long time, compliments of the season!!

Gombs my love , compliments too

I will like to address this in this manner. You already know my stance with respect to CE

Chris Oyakhilome is effectively the prophet and god of the Christ Embassy cult. His members consider him infallible and the anointed one, their Christ. I am told by an old member of nl that Joagbaje, a leading CE member on nl, used to refer to Chris Oyakhilome as "Pastor Christ", instead of Pastor Chris, as he fondly called by his followers.

The above is true & happens in certain circles but that doesn't make it right. Firstly "pastoral or ministerial infallibility" is widely propagated in the Pentecostal circle & not just CE alone, hence the reason for the above belief by members

The examples attributed to jogbaje, well I don't know if he truly said that but I have personally heard of other variations by other members including pastors, that doesn't make it right either & also doesn't mean everyone in CE subscribes to it

Sexual immorality is the order of the day among CEC members. They revel in it. My investigations reveal that married people are even known to date other people's wives and husbands in church.

This happens everywhere & not just CE, if you examine most choirs in other denominations, they won't be spared of such. I dare say the latter part of ur quote is an exaggeration

Other proof of the cultic nature of CEC is their violence and hate. There have been numerous occasions in which people have tried to investigate the church and have ended being beaten black and blue. A lady who supplied screen to their recently concluded ministers conference was beaten because she demanded to be paid for her services.

This also happens everywhere & one scenario isn't enough to come to such conclusion that the members are marred with hate & violence. We have had several cases in other denominations where violence erupted. The maturity of those Christians have to be factored in, that there was a fight doesn't mean the whole church is involved in it

CEC members all talk like Pastor Chris; they dress like him; they copy his gesticulations and style. They seek to be like Chris Oyakhilome and not Christ.

I will paraphrase, Paul said follow me as I follow Christ & Jesus said, it is sufficient for student to be as the master.

That being said, it is a natural human phenomenon to copy those u look up to & u see this playing out in every facet of life, this can't be separated in church

That being said, there is a level of maturity u attain, you begin to do things the way you want it to be done & not according to someone else

Not everyone in CE, dresses or speaks or acts like pastor Chris including pastors

Have u seen buchi or frank Edward dressing or speaking like pastor Chris?

I understand that CEC members read mostly Oyakhilome publications

well this is true, when u were a baby, u could only eat in ur house or a home permitted by ur parents but when you grew up, you now knew who was who & in whose home you could eat

Same with church, when you become matured, you will know where to worship & whom to read & watch & listen to, until then kindly listen to what you are told to do

Members marry only members

This is wrong!! At the beginning yes, this was almost true but now is no longer the practice

Yes, marriage in house is more appreciated & encouraged but if you choose otherwise, no problem

There are even cases where a brother has to go wed in the sisters church

though its tougher to marry outside if you are a pastor or a high ranking leader but its not impossible

GoldenDr:
Many girls they find guy like that, no sex policy. Some of them are either impotent, have sexual disorder or medical sexual issue. I once met a guy who told me he is not crazy about sex and girls left him.

So how do you differentiate the above from guys who share the No sex policy due to religious beliefs?

By differentiate, how can you tell tell if his stance is due to medical reasons or religious reasons

oliverjiad:
madam i explained to this man if he want me to pay him back in business term i would i wonder why he'll have to still put this on here as if i run bad job at him

I have been following this thread, pls I have to ask are you a Nigerian or from a francophone country? I ask because ur written English is difficult to comprehend

You have no legitimate grounds to clear a 2004 corolla for 470k!!!

pls for those mentioning compromised duty, what does it mean?

I thought the shipping manifest or bill of lading normally reflects the model & year of car, so how it possible for it to be undervalued?

BritneyStacy:
Don't know exactly what to call it; rude awakening or shocker of my life!! I stumbled on photocopies of my husband's pension's scheme form, Life Insurance form and will.

As I went through the forms, I saw that my I am not my husband's next of Kin or beneficiary!! His younger brother is!! It hurts to realise that for a house that Ђåvε̲ made more than 60percent contribution to, per adventure something happens tomorrow, I will be left at the mercy of my brother in laws!!!

I haven't confronted him yet because I don't know how to. But I intend starting a secret saving account for myself because as at now, he access to all my bank accounts. I have also decided to stop contributing a dime to the house because I don't Ђåvε̲ any stake in it!

Are my thoughts in order? Please I need suggestions...what do I do? Married men why on earth would your wife not be your next of kin?

when were those forms filled? I ask because there are cases of men who forgot to change their next of kin even after the birth of their first child

so this could be your husbands case

There are also some men, who feel that their siblings will do a better job taking care of their family upon their demise, they do this out of brotherly trust, they find it difficult to believe that their brothers can betray them

There is also the Traditional Class, who believes that putting a woman as NOK will give her enough reason to kill them and inherit their wealth, so its best its left in the care of their brothers

There are those who dont even know its full importance or implication, they just fill the column for filling sake

which ever class your husband belongs to, rather than feel betrayed or angry, discuss with him calmly and find out which category he
belongs, advise can then be given based on his response

As of now, dont just jump into conclusion

tgirl1986:
...

thanks would have argued more but I'll take a pass.

the intended recipient of my original post got my point. Thanks once more

blaizze:
I know the thread was meant for wives and Intending wives. I just wanted to let someone know about what am going through. am not close to my mum or elder sister and I can't tell my friends about this cos they will laugh at me.
Sorry if I went off but I appreciate the advice I got here . Thanks.

My dear let me touch more areas

You are still very young & I will advise you to get close to your elder sister & mum. If this guy knows that there is an authority figure in ur life that knows about the relationship, there are certain things he won't try

But most ladies love this dating in isolation, don't tell anybody, it's between me & you kind of thing, then he will misbehave a lot & get away with it

little by little you will get there, if you can't then look for a female authority to get close to, it will help you a lot in life not just on relationship matters but in life affairs

On the relationship matter, leave this boy & I'll advise you stay clear of relationships for now, you are still very young(20) with lots of choices before you, you don't need the extra baggage of relationships

After this one, remain single, make friends & leave it there till u clock 23/24, it will give you clarity. That every Susanna & Morganna is in a relationship does not mean you should be in one cos that's one of the reason most undergraduates go into one. Trust me 3 years from now you will ask yourself what was I even doing with that guy? Why cos you now know better

the best way to know someone is at friendship stage, not relationship stage cos there will be a whole lot of pretence, if you had been friends with this guy before dating him, you would have spotted this trait in him!!

I repeat stay clear from relationships for know, a lot of ladies got damaged or did things they would later regret because they started too early & most time you will always start with the wrong guy

Imagine having commited abortion maybe like thrice or having ones womb removed in the process or having lost count of how many guys you have slept with or flings/one night you have had, these things later bring regret at ones later stage in life or devaluation of one's self worth

tgirl1986:
They pray to Jehovah in the NAME OF JESUS. say what you know.

Thanks but care to expan ? How do they Start their prayer or end their prayer

The typical Christian starts by saying in Jesus name or father in the name of Jesus then ends the prayer in Jesus name

Or starts the prayer without mentioning Jesus but ends it in the name of Jesus

funarosho:
I'm also in D's kind of stuff ooo. she b Jehovah witness and I'm a living faith member . we av both talked abt it and we both agreed to go for wateva we want but d children will choose who to follow .

recipe for disaster!!!!!!

Jehovah witness believes Jesus is not God but he is the son of God

living faith believes Jesus is son of God and God at the same time God

they dont pray in the name of Jesus

they dont celebrate birthdays

amongst all other things!!

imagine junior telling that to your face or that the Holy spirit is not God but a force

you better have a rethink!!!!!!!!!!

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

firstly, its a common knowledge in Nigeria that the lady moves over to the husband's church

secondly, whats the name of his church and yours?

I ask because a member of Christ embassy will have issues with a member of deeper life or scripture union because of differences in idealogy.

hope you get the picture, u can replace CE with any new generation church

the person from deeper life will probably take the actions of those from christ embassy as sin while the other will take their action as being old
fashioned.


I'm not viewing this from the submission angle but that of ideology. if you know you dont like his church and you cant win him over, well i guess u know what you should do

if you insist on going to your church, what happens when junior shows up, which of the church will he go to?

do you think a man that attends a pentecostal church or even the catholic church, will allow his wife to continue with white garment church or allow her take the kids there?

pls do not misconstrue my post, my post has not in any way shown the supremacy of denominations or which is church is real or fake, I'm just painting a picture of the commotion that can occur

finally,

1.you said boyfriend & not fiance, should i take it that you are still young and marriage is not in view at all

2.the things that are considered norm in the Nigerian culture, should you have a difference in opinion kindly make sure your spouse has such mentality like yours

Dont just come up with your own way of life which is against what is normally obtainable and be surprised when you meet opposition

Preternatura1:
Yes, I'll be 25 in April.

Why?

Just asking dearie, to the typical Nigerian family, you won't be a good wife, lazy bla bla bla (it's almost assumed that since you are this young & single, you don't do house chores, what then will you be able to do in your matrimonial home)

so make sure your fiancée doesn't have that typical Nigerian mentality & if he doesn't, then ensure he can protect you from inlaws.

This ain't Yankee, we don't marry in isolation here!! How many folks(resident in nigeria) have you read here who completely cut off from their inlaws

Preternatura1:
You make cooking sound so fun, I won't lie, sometimes I get frustrated, I started respecting my girl more the day I made okra for the first time, I had never eaten it till that day, the kitchen was messed up, he said it would be better if I did everything on my own with him there guiding me ofcourse, it wasn't funny at all but he scored me 70/100.

Pls I want to get something straight, you are a single lady who lives alone & you reside in Nigeria & you have a maid. Am I correct?

pls what's ur age range?

My apologies for not quoting your whole post, I hope what I quoted will not be taken out of context.

Compatibility issues comes to mind here, some are minor & can & should be overlooked while others are major & should not be overlooked

You have a particular class & I will advise you go for that class because with the quotes below, if you go into marriage with him without reaching a genuine compromise(not the one he will agree to ur terms now, meanwhile planning a different thing for you after marriage)

Preternatura1: No, his english is not bad but his accent isn't all that

I just kinda want my kids to not speak like him, he sometimes pick offense, when I try to correct him.

he would rather eat with only a spoon than with a fork/knife which is not really a problem for me, but what about my kids?

Should you go ahead with the wedding, you will resent him & alienate your kids against him, imagine u scolding junior for eating loud & his defense will be that's how daddy does it, you find urself correcting him, you are indirectly telling him daddy is a bush man

The above secenerio will play out in other circumstances

I think kids shouldn't be flogged, he thinks otherwise, I like to tip always, he thinks it's me being wasteful, I can and actually prefer to eat out instead of cooking, he thinks that's just absurd(I can count how many times I saw my mum cook,we had people do it while I was growing up, most times my parents ate out),I pay someone to do house chores and that's something he doesn't understand, things like these is what I mean.

Here again, compatibility, these issues you raised above can cause serious issues, should junior misbehave you can't tell him not to spank or flog his own child!!

He might not be the type that will eat food not prepared by you but you on the other hand grew up with maids

It's not like I'm ashamed of him but I wouldn't like a situation where my family or friends will be asking why he needs to fill the glass to the brim or why he doesn't chew with his mouth closed, the first time he was in my house(dad's birthday), my niece asked him to please be quiet(he was on the phone laughing) because she was watching her show, he didn't find it funny, said the kid is spoilt and wouldn't take it lightly if his child did something like that

it appears you are living as though you are not in Nigeria(there is nothing wrong with that per say, just look for someone that shares same traits)


No Nigerian adult will accept that from a younger one to be "quiet", that's akin to shut up

You obviously didn't see that much of a big deal, I know kids abroad tell their parents to shut up either jokingly or seriously depending on the context & most don't see it as a biggie

you talked about the gown part, he was taking you to his mum & you couldn't agree with him on what to wear, haba

I'm not married o but I'm sure the average married woman dresses according to the husband's taste(make una correct me o)

my dear look for a good man amongst your class & save yourself from unnecessary heartache, continue with him on the grounds that you have reached a "genuine compromise" or he shows & proves that he is willing to change to your way of living

Most Nigerian men don't believe in changing for a woman, most times just to win her, they do so but after marriage, Ghen Ghen!!!!

GoldenDr:
By nannymcphee(f):

Someone sent this piece to me, I decided to share.

.

Kindly edit, I'm not the author, it was a broadcast message on whatsapp

cococandy:
Well I guess this post answers your own question then.

Lol, it does kind of, I'm not an advocate for divorce, though the dynamics of today's living has forced us to deviate from what was obtainable in our parents days

Then again we learn everyday, this thread has taught me a lot, reading mutter's story & the other cases of ladies who were infected with HIV, I don't know how I would have been able to tell them "hang in there, work it out, patience & perseverance etc"

I can only pray that I don't find myself in such circumstances

Someone sent this piece to me, I decided to share




A wise man once told me dis story of the frog some time ago. Was just pondering beyond the scientific nature of an ordinary frog, and then try to apply it to our every day life....

"Put a frog in a vessel of water," he said, "and start heating the water . As the temperature of the water rises, the frog is able to adjust its body temperature accordingly ... The frog keeps on adjusting with increase in temperature...Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog is not able to adjust anymore... At that point the frog decides to jump out...The frog tries to jump but its unable to do so, because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature, then the frog dies".

What a tragic tale! But then we need to ask, What killed the frog? Many of us would say the boiling water... But the truth is what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when it had to jump out. We all need to adjust with people and situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when we need to confront/face.

There are times when we need to face the situation and take the appropriate action...If we allow people to exploit us physically, mentally,emotionally they will continue to do so... We have to decide when to jump !!!!Let us jump while we still have the strength....Have a blessed day.

babyosisi:
Some inlaws are better called outlaws wallahi

Thanks ma, once again you are a beacon of hope but in the bid for one's individuality not to be lost what will you do if your husbands individuality will cause yours to suffer? will you allow him have the way because he is the man?

in the spirit of peace, ego massage & submission, will you agree with your husband over a decision he is about to take that you know will not turn out well? even after presenting ur arguments he still insists that's the next course of action

Women are very intuitive, so we can sense danger even if logic doesn't prove there is any imminent danger, if indeed you will let him have his way & it turns out bad, do you taunt him with the "ntor, I told you so or warned you so"

PS: I looked for your shortest post, there is no need to repost where you explained individuality

babyosisi: I said are you kidding me ( under my breath o)
How dare you( under my breath too)
I reluctantly followed

Ma, can you throw more light on submission & loyalty as it ought to be for a woman, it will be wonderful if you can use real life examples

You seem to giving me two impressions, one being you don't take trash & you know where to draw the line with your husband in saying NO or going against his dictates(no offense intended) while the other being a lady who takes Mazi azubuike as her Igwe


PS:I'm particularly touched that this is coming from a lady in the US, because when you juxtapose all this with the trend of stories on NL & the media of how ladies abroad seem to have lost it esp those in the medical profession because of the financial status it offers, babyosisi then becomes a beacon of hope that all is not lost & there are still wise, educated well to do women who are loyal & submissive to their spouses!!!

babyosisi:
Nannymacphee I found you in my junk mail
Lol
Reading it now

Lol, thanks will let you know how it goes

babyosisi:
I responded to a couple of emails just now,perhaps one of them is yours

Just checked, it's isn't there