₦airaland Forum

It's involuntary, all normal human beings will look, only..........................., I no talk o

Someone should tell this woman to shut up and get to work..... Stop talking and surprise us... Hian

This must be Buhari's quote, this man keeps f**cking us in the $ss without even lubricant.... SMH for his supporters.

dman4mdmoon:
Me too!

You head is dia joor..

Iamlordgee:
Maybe Them da pray to their ashawo god. For better Customer like...

Well, if I was invited, there'll be no need for prayers

catlova2:
hahahaha. ashawo

This is not ashawo matter, whatever it is, it looks like fun to me.....
and I should be invited...

The mind of an Igbo man.

This tops the list for me.....

































Lawd have mercy...

jaheymezz:
is Dis shii funny?? hell naw! #dry

Maybe you don't know, but NL has a joke section, kindly visit... Thanks

Natebennyoak@yahoo.com......... 08184908598





























Just in case!!!!!

Zainey338:
Hello every one, how are you?

HI to you cc: Zainey338, I believe we are all doing great, and you?

meetmonde:
We are fine... Just thinking weda to maintain Girlfriend 7.0 or to upgrade to wife1.0

Lol, believe me, Wife1.0 is far more better than Girlfriend 7.0, though challenging, but better. I'm seriously searching for the software.

If I blame Bubu now, they will call me a wailer, but see now!!

All na hustle shaa, any which way na way.

This makes my number 1

That's a sample...

I saw this online, and it really cracked me up . But I'm afraid, only those with computer knowledge will understand.



THIS IS WHAT A MAN WROTE TO A SYSTEM ANALYST;


Dear Systems Department,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure!! In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initializations. It then monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as "Boys' Night Out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer runs, and the system crashes whenever these applications are selected.

Attempting to operate selected "Saturday Games 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run any of my favourite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend7.0", but " Uninstall" seems to not work on this particular program.

Can you please help?


Yours in distress
Weary and Worn



...... AND THIS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID;

Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the "Wife 1.0" program.

Many customers upgrade from "Girlfriend 7.0" to "Wife 1.0" thinking that "Wife 1.0" is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. It is not !!!

Actually, "Wife 1.0" is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by it's Creator to Run everything on the computer.

You are unlikely to be able to purge "Wife 1.0" and still convert back to "Girlfriend 7.0", as "Wife 1.0" was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once it has been installed.

Some people have tried to install "Girlfriend 8.0 "or "Wife 2.0" but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).

Having "Wife 1.0" installed, I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system. This is very important.

It may be necessary to run "C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME" for a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

"Wife 1.0 ", although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it, consider buying additional softwares such as
• "Flowers 2.0" and
• "Chocolates 5.0" or
• "HUGS\KISSES 600.0" or
• "TENDERNESS \UNDERSTANDING 1000.0", or even
• "Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if child processing has already started).
PS:

DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1"(Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as these are not a supported applications for "Wife 1.0 " Usually, the system will almost certainly CRASH with these or anyother similar applications

dannyreports:
Exactly,and most ladies are very shy talking about it,which is not gud,i have several encounters with ladies you sometimes shared their experience,with me,some didnt,no matter how secure i wanted them to feel sharing.This reminds of one of my former girlfriend,when we are 2gether alone in the room,she did not like taking off her clothes with the lights turned on,i later found out,she had this defect,but didnt know much about it,until now,and there is a natural way to correct the defect now.

Really appreciate you bringing this topic to limelight, I've witnessed it first hand, it causes low self-esteem to ladies, and most of us guys are too dumb to know or realize it wasn't in anyway their fault, most of our ladies are too shy to discuss this, even though they themselves can't explain it, they always fear rejection. I just wish the mods could do the needful, it deserves FP.

Hello dear, I really don't know where to start, but.

You need to improve YOU, I don't know why you don't love yourself, which brings some questions to mind... Are you over weight? Are you under weight? You don't like your skin color? Do you have a job? Are you broke? Are you educated? Are your parents still alive? Are you heart broken? So many questions that only you can answer, good news is, it is never too late to start afresh.

You need to travel more, I know what I'm saying, visit your relation, don't spend time there and visit someone else.

Learn something physical.. Like making beads, baking cake, decoration, just something you put your time into, and you see instant result.

Go closer to God, this should be your first option, but I figured, you don't know Him that well, which will require someone to make you see the need to Trust and Love God.

Then accept yourself first, no one can love you until you love yourself, when you hear people mention Self Love, you think it's a joke, you have to love yourself mehn, no one can do that for you.

I won't pretend to know what you are passing through, but it's something no one should go through ALONE, just know that someone is here praying for you, and please, under no circumstance should you even think of suicide, the devil is fighting you, because he has seen your future. I don't know you, but I Love you already.

Bro, try "Neo Medrol" I don't know what it is, in the sense that I don't know if I can call it a cream or medicine, but it has been very helpful to me.. Make sure you buy the original, because I noticed some people have started making the fake, which my brother bought that caused him irritation. I had razor bumps and pimples, I had my bath at night and applied it, and in the morning, it was like a miracle, it dried it up instantly.. Just try it, I pray it works for you as it did for me.

Wow, I had a girlfriend once, she never allowed me access to her boobs no matter what, until one day, she fell asleep and I peeped through her top, it was flat I mean Literally!!! I told her she shouldn't hide such a thing from me, as I know quite well she didn't create herself, she was very very very shy, told me her x left because of it.... Anyway she left the country, haven't heard from her since.

derespect:
Nothing but GNLD

Nothing man no go see o...
Thanks bro. If I curse them now eh.