₦airaland Forum

last poster was absolutely right, he/she's d shiznit

u guys are right that post is a cracker,
_{could u guys go here} https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-89552.0.html _{its not really funny but i need to hear more views abeg!!!!1}

@britgirlee
would u be a darling and not put words in my mouth(or keys on my fingers) , am all for the women(much more than u cld imagine), jst the bit where u refer to wot the church of england is doing that sets me off,

@britgirl
u cant talk about nigerian guys an then turn around to tell us wot the church of england says(feel free to mention the church in naija that will remove obey from its vows) and i'm not saying we shld involve religion in this but most naia pple to some extent have been xposed to religion so it will colour their views, (moreso when it comes to stuff like this!),

don't u kno he's my oga?

back to where?this plac is the shiznit(bwahahaha now lets see someone use that!)

read post above!

are u question oga ralvy's integrity?

joy is really important in life u know,

hey ladies wa'gwan?

k, i'm not claiming any superior knowledge here(chances are i'm d youngest person here!),
the whole thing depends on the interpretation of 'strong independent black woman' like bros debosky said i'm attracted to intellingent women(all d gels i've really liked have always been ahead of me in class) anyway sha the whole thing as far as the nigerian angle is concerned boils down to if the woman is 'smart' enough to know that irregardless of what she earns or where she works she has to respect(and to some extent obey) her husband!

mutter:
A woman with a good job , independent, that is no big deal, but ladies wipe your feet befoe you enter your home. At home you are a wife and mother.
I think it is oftern independent , strong women who cannot handle the combination, wife and career women

because thats the way our culture (and for most of us our religion)puts things, if the strong independent woman is not smart enough to know that home is very different from work then all her strength can be put down as agidi(let her use the same skills that she uses at work to succeed at home and let us see if she will not fail woefully!),

okay, lets move on,or does anyone disagree?

sis thanks for the support!

does it sound like one?

its a slang!

[quote author=]check this out! Written by mimiko.

Re: What A Wife
« #14 on: August 13, 2007, 12:57 PM »

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READ THE CONVERSATION:
oyinbo - Hello? Hi, this is Raheema calling from Hollywood Hereafter Resources. I just wanted to let you know that your phone number was randomly selected in a drawing and we have reserved a free burial space for you at the New Island Cemetery in Bridge
naijaperson- WHAT?
oyinbo - If you would just give me your name and address. I want to send you a letter to confirm the free burial space we have reserved for you
naijaperson- You reserved what for me, A grave?
oyinbo - A free burial space.
naijaperson-What's the difference?
oyinbo - Well, the word "grave" can be scary sir. You can disregard the letter if you don't want it. This is just a courtesy call to
naijaperson- How interesting. So, as a Telemarketer, you pick up the phone and cold call people to pitch them with offers?
oyinbo - Well, yes sir. We always make sure it is something of potential interest to them
naijaperson- Of course. Who wouldn't be interested in dying? I am definitely interested in a grave. I am. That is a very important decision to make before you die, right? -
oyinbo - I agree with you sir. You're so open-minded about this. A lot of people don't understand why it is so important to hand-pick your final resting place before you pass on. It ensures you get the kind of burial you want for yourself.
naijaperson-I see say na you them send come.
oyinbo - I'm sorry? Send, come?
naijaperson-Oh, they don't use the witchdoctor in the village anymore, right? They have gone nuclear and now are using Americans. Na you them send come!
oyinbo - I'm sorry sir, but I don't know what you're talking about.
naijaperson-I get fillage too o! I be proper bush boy and my mama still dey kampe for waterside. Na one phone call e go take and she go run go fillage go get me Gold Circle condom protection, you hear. Una no dey here say e better for somebody? Why na so-so make una dey spoil person own una dey like?
oyinbo - I don't understand what you're saying
naijaperson- You go understand by force. Na airmail I go take send winch to you, you hear. Una think say una know winch just because una dey do halloween. You think winch na that abracadabra una dey do for America? You think na to chant poetry and cook soup with lizard yansh and frog tongue be winch? I go show you where we dey use snake leg do ogbonge juju. Black winch, red winch, multi-color winch, For my fillage, na your eyes I go take flavor the juju. You go know betta winch when my own army land.
oyinbo - I do apologize to you if my phone call has offended you in any way
naijaperson- You have not offended me. I am not offended.Do I sound offended? Why would I be offended because you - kind-hearted telemarketer that you are - reserved a grave for me?Do you know how old I am? 32. In my country, people don't die at 32. When they die so young, it is a major tragedy! My mother and father are still alive. You want me to die before them?
oyinbo - I didn't mean anything -
You people never mean anything when you make these stupid phone calls. How dare you wish me death -
oyinbo - No, that's not what
naijaperson- I DON'T CARE! Do you know how many years I worked on getting a visa to come to America? 10 years. 10! Do you know how many laws I broke in so many countries before I found my way here? I have been here only 2 years. All the people who gave me loans to buy ticket and visa have not been paid. My mother and father are still waiting for me to perform the magic of Dollars for them in Nigeria. This telephone was just connected 2 months ago because I am just now able to afford a telephone because I cannot make good money due to my illegal alien status. And now, you want me to die before I can even begin to enjoy a little, Ah, your own don spoil o. I swear, e no go betta for you. E no, what? Na hand ya mama and papa go take bury you. And na there eyes them go take cry for you for that yeye grave wey you don reserve for yaself.
oyinbo - Are you cussing me sir?
naijaperson-Cuss you? Why should I? Why would I want to cuss someone who is offering me a grave? I am only reacting in my local English. That is how we behave when we are overwhelmed with joy in my country.
I just had a distinct feeling that you were not saying nice things about me.
naijaperson-See this wowo wey craw-craw don chop him yansh finish, Look, just as an aside, are all the members of your family reserved space in your graveyard?
oyinbo - Some of them do have
naijaperson- No, don't stop there. You should get everybody a plot. I go help you use juju finish all of them make una dey go
do whassup my dog for Hollywood, abi na where you dey call from.
oyinbo - I have to hang up now sir.
naijaperson- Before you hang up, would you by any chance know anything about a scam where telemarketers call people on the phone to assure them they have a free burial space, then try to get them to buy expensive mausoleums and crypts? What is it called? Bait and switch, right?
oyinbo - I don't know what you're talking about.
naijaperson-You get pickin?
oyinbo - Get picking? Picking what?
naijaperson-You get pickin? You don born bomboy? Mai you dash your pickin the grave now.
oyinbo - Dash picking, You' re dissing me?
naijaperson-Diss? Dis one pass diss, agaracha. Dis one na K.I.S.S., kiss - serious kiss of death.
oyinbo - I have to hang up now sir.
naijaperson-No, please wait. Let me reserve the whole cemetery for your unborn children. I will also reserve a full page in the Daily Times obituary section -
oyinbo - That's mean! You can't talk to me like that just because I'm a telemarketer. We are people too.
naijaperson- Yes, bad people, People who call me at all kinds of hours to trick me into buying what I don't need.
oyinbo-I'm going to report you to the INS! You will be deported!
naijaperson-My juju go don finish you before you reach the place! Winch pass
winch! You no go die betta, I tell you. I go make sure say them give you craze first, make you waka enter K-Mart abi wetin una dey call market for this side - before them finish you! She reserve grave, Why you no take knife come kill me yaself? E no go betta for - Hello? You hang up? Why you no wait make I finish? Why you no wait? Oloshi! Na dead dog wey get rabies go chop the mouth you take talk to me.

can't believe no one commented on this naijaperson i had to take the time to Behind it up so it'd be beta understood!

ah ah wot kind of question is that?

honsule like hayprof sed all fingers r not equal, dont post the thing jo!

name your own child mischievous instead!

wot is ur definition of 'fun'?

and i agree!

ilugunboy:
@netotse

Why do some poeple like you always believe that all nairanlanders are dumb, cannot compose well meaning and good stuff like what the poster did. If you cannot appreciate good stuff, then keep quiet (freedom of speech, my foot!).


For Godsake, lets give our guys on nairaland good credit when they deserve it!.

@poster, you have done well.

chiaman take it easy(e be like say complex dey catch u), y i sed dat was cos i kno d yarns!(i even used to read d scopes before, i'm prolly his senior in dat sturvs sef)came across a couple of yrs ago the writers famous in his own rights and its not bunz for someone else to claim wot someone else wrote is it?

@poster
i kno sy no be u write that thing, u can like to add d source so we dont find u guilty of plagiarism

u're right! if ders no market dey wont be stolen!

Kobojunkie:
People have been doing that for years and many have learnt the art of re-stealing those transformers back.

i saw something in the papers recently sbout an ipp deal for some industrial estates in kano sha maybe ders hope

OduduwaSon:
My God, don't they get electrocuted? Aren't they scared? Lagos & Kano States were supposedly implementing independent power supply projects with foreign companies, I wonder what happened or is happening to those projects, or is it just another scam?

they steal the stuff during outages, i heard some nepa staff collude with them(tho d instances of this shld be few)

they can do a lot, part of the reason the speaker left was cos of the media hype!, sometimes think of mailing some of the coloumnists in thisday to ask that the do an indepth piece on corruption in nepa but thing is they'll prolly mess it up! and also i dont have any standing there(no real sources)but if there were to be a serious story on it ders no how things wont happen!

true talk,
hopefully sha things'll change soon, cos i sure as hell cant work in PHCN the way it is now,

they might have, cos it wlda been disastrous if they didnt, transformers aren't anywhere near d prob, the first nd the foremost prob is PLANNING!, i think its that the pple that have the politicians ears are the crooks and thieves in the first place!(add that to the fact that the politicians are crooks and thieves themselves!!!)

share the joke!

finekids last post was somehow,

@kobojunkie
true talk! even if it is on screen we will sha watch but wot i want is for the public to kno the level of decay so that the govt'll be shamed into action!
, part of the prob is that the nepa pple demselves cant do their job! for instance part of the bad electricity supply is seasonal but instead of letting the ppl know they'll keep quiet and continue feeling persecuted, i believe with proper education on the power sector nigerians will better appreciate the efforts(however little and misdirected) and also the gas prob is anoda major factor but wot happens is that nepa gets blamed when it is not always their fault!