₦airaland Forum

FINman:
I'm from Finland and you can ask me anything in this thread.

I just found this website and I'm very interested in learning about Nigerian culture and perhaps you might want to know something about my country too.

Hey...welcome to NL.

I'm curious, why do you guys come across as being so cold and standoffish?

Smeeky:
markup can be calculated in different ways. At cost price or selling price.

markup of 5%@ selling price
10000 x 5% = 500
10000-500= 9500
500/9500= 0.05263157
0.0526 x 10000= 10526
10526 x 500bags = 5,263,000ans
5,263,000-5,250,000 = 13,000


The problem is not complete

I think it is, you over complicated it...if the bag is sold at 10,526 then the owner would just about break even

@NashvilleTN
good to have you back...there wasn't anyone to give interesting scenarios...lol

ApexTitan:
Something ain't right

https://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/suspicious-nod-yes.gif

thought the same thing too...also thought their sex life must be non-existent.

Kimoni:
So, Kabonic and Netotse - what is the way forward for a working woman in this situation?

The less time she commits to looking after the home, the more the burden she should be willing to shoulder na...simples

My best friends aunt said she married later than her mates because she knew she was not ready and that when she married, one of the first things she did was hire a washman because she didn't have time to be washing any man's clothes...no need to have an argument on how busy she was or what not.

Kimoni:
Lol...housework is a waste of ur time. Kontinu

And I have to admit most men think like that but the question is, do they also subscribe to total provision? I don't get that vibe except for a very few

omo...I have used style to tell my madam several times o...I have no problem washing plates, changing light bulbs, fiddling with stuff but ask me to sweep, cook or arrange clothes and my body will start to do one kind (I understand there will be times I need to do more and that's fine).

I must admit I didn't really think that way until my Mum sat me down a couple of months back, my position has shifted a great deal.

Kimoni:
The above is a growing trend globally and I would say the situation is a bit worse in Nigeria but it is still a global trend/problem anyway.

These days, men are increasingly expecting working women to split the bills with them, which would be fine if women were also expecting men to share the housework. But this is clearly not the case and even where men do some housework, the ratio is highly skewed to the man's favor. And so working women are generally overworked but unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, we pride ourselves in being able to multitask which is good but of course, the side effects are there which are hard to cope with.

My story - I noticed this trend before I got married and I told myself, I won't be caught in it and fortunately, I hooked someone who shares same value. My solution to this is role separation. He is the Chairman/CEO and I am the COO of the house. He provides the capital and takes the final decision, I run the show and add my input according to my expertise. Simply put, he provides the basics - housing, food, shelter and I run with the resources. Like every normal situation, we are able to back up for each other temporarily when the need arises but the fact still remains that we both identify our primary responsibilities and we do not take any extra support for granted. Peradventure, I need help with my COO duties or I need an upgrade in the level of services he has provided, he has given me a free hand to upgrade or get help if required, hence, I have no excuses whatsoever in fulfilling my wifely duties. (I recognize the fact that this would not work for some families; I am in no way saying this is a perfect model for every family).

In reality, I see a lot of issues with couples over finances and home management and most of these issues, I personally trace to separation or non-seperation of family roles.

My question is this - do you agree that women are taking up a larger chunk of it all? what model are you running or what model do you intend to run when you are married. As a man, If you expect to split the bills, would you be happy to split the house chores(not cherry picking pls). Can you in all honestly say that your wife is not taking up more share of the overall job of running the home (financial et al.)? Do you think that in any way, mandating your wife to take up part of the traditional role of providing will affect her in submitting to you?

raumdeuter and Jaybee3 - I noted your comments earlier.

You have a point here...even if a couple splits the bills in half there would still be this expectation that she should carry out all the typical wifely duties.

I intend to bear the bulk of the burden financially, where possible. Especially since I think housework(cleaning, washing arranging et al...DIY/washing plates isn't housework to me ) is a waste of my time. I think your model works fine, if you ask me.

@kimoni, bodashee, 5minsmadness et al
the reply left me blank, it was an ad hominem pure and simple, all the dude was doing was showing that he has good command of the english language, he didn't make any points or pass any worthwhile message across.

If his goal was to touch something in Fayose then he missed the goalpost by a mile. For people like that(people with tunnel vision), insults don't work. It's either you defeat him with logic or you ignore him.

@TV

One question:

when you say commanding, what do you mean? the general idea of a "commanding" person is someone who is overbearing and insists on having his way everytime, I'm not certain that's what you're driving at, is it?

what is the size of the transformer? can you take a picture? what spoils in the transformer? it could just be that it's overloaded and the load needs to be reduced. A new transformer could easily be 7 figures, it depends on the size/no of customers it's meant to serve.

@onegai et al
how do you balance work and life? there's soooo much to learn professionally if you want to be any good at what you do, that makes it easy for you to tell yourself why bother with all these "frivolities" when I can read XXXX and be better positioned for that new job or something like that.

I'd skip anything that has to do with leisure in a heartbeat(unless the missus or my friends were involved) for something that I think would position me better when it comes to achieving my goals. Of course this has its negative sides(tons sef).

I know there has to be a balance but I just can't seem to find it for myself ,

@Royalroy
abeg bros show na...used the report to mod button already

wisdomiskey:


See link below:

Lol...dude we don't roll that way on this thread, let's try to keep it on the straight and narrow.

freecocoa:
Oh! Please.

What was the need to focus on me thinking myself intelligent and trying to prove that I'm not for? Is that the topic for discussion? Abeg you people should keep your advice, I asked the girls anyways, I thought his mention was about something I said on the boy's thread but decided to give ears since he already mentioned it, instead of focusing on the topic, he was busy talking about how all my years here he's never seen an ounce of intelligence in me, talking about how I write, how I've laid myself bare which isn't a good sight, how inane my threads are, how my dilemma is worse than my friends, how the concern I supposedly showed is fake etc and you think I was being defensive? It's like you want to continue from where he left off, you are free to knock yourself out, mschew.

lol...opinions are a dime a dozen, I was just giving mine...no vex

@edwife
who uses "energy level" when discussing football?

@freecocoa
When I saw your post on the girls thread I wanted to chip in but it just didn't seem proper , I think you are/were being defensive(consciously or unconsciously) wrt TVs response, I don't have any personal beef with you but I would've said similar stuff (of which you did ask for his opinion and you got a frank one), I don't sense any ill feelings in the reply(just read it again to be sure), he would prolly have used more complex words if he was trying to insult you

@Keppyy
When someone says stuff you don't like or agree with you shouldn't throw the words away just because of that, if you're interested in improving what you should do is sieve the words to see if there's any truth in them, if there is, take it in, if there isn't, ignore and move on, the motive behind the words are important alright but they aren't the only thing to consider. If someone is telling you hard truths with a bad motive, the motive doesn't make them any less true. The people that will pull you down ultimately are the ones that will watch you make mistakes and not say anything. Feedback is one of the best things people can give you.

Kimoni:
Jaybee3, Damiso, tearoses, TV01, Sagamite, naijababe, Coogar, anybody else that can help pls

Pls who has any information about Devere Group?? Their website is nice and all but I read some very bad reviews about them online. I need information about their pay, bonuses, working conditions etc. They have been sending me some series of invites which I have ignored so far because I think there is something fishy about them but they are quite persistent. I want to know if I should bother with them at all on Friday.

Buka et al. - pls sorry to bump your discssuion. Abeg no vex. I just need to make up my mind urgently.

Stop using style to invite men to y'alls thread

tollu:
This here is just a pictorial representation of the bottom line of Kimoni's post. Like you and Netotse, attention span for debates... ... Odikwa very short.

From where I'm standing, men that take such hard and clinical approaches to choosing a mate must have been emotionally battered in the past by one aunty and love. I pray for forgiveness for that wicked geh and healing for the hurt man.

I borrow ApexTitan's acronym and say NAWALT

I have been enjoying this thread thoroughly for some weeks now but things got interestingly skewed for me this past couple of days. I'm not complaining sha since I'm not a "boys" a la "Boy's discussion thread".

P.S. FOLLOW YOUR HEART BUT TAKE YOUR BRAIN WITH YOU.
That really is all for both sides of the fence.

P.P.S
Congratulations on your graduation Keppyy

Hey long time, not necessarily battered, emotionally under developed is also a possibility.

@Keppyy
You seem like good people, you should stick around...what fun is a boys room it there are no girls to discriminate against?

An0nimus:
@netotse the ladies will be back. The thread has been through this phase before

only if we let them... . There's nothing wrong with them posting here, as long as it's in line with the purpose of this thread. It's up to us to keep this place sane.

damiso:
B

So we don't get accused of trespassing again and also because I don't have energy for typing , I agree with most of your post. my stance was more against the thought of the perfect mould it or fit is within the 'a particular age range' . I agree TV01 did say he was not being prescriptive.
Kimoni ,tearoses and tollu have also made valid points.

Don't worry we will stop encroaching on your 'zone'

lol...y'all are welcome anytime...as observers though

Kimoni:
3. It's okay for guys to sit together to discuss how to choose the best mates for their teams, very rational behaviour but remember it's not a one way thing. Your main partner is going to be leaving the comfort of her family to start from the scratch with you, she is going to abandon her beloved father's name to take up yours, both of you are going to be rearing children together but those kids will take only ur name and none of hers ...I can go on forever on the sacrifices ur team mate will be making just to make a success of this journey you are inviting her on. So my point is, during your permutation and combination on how to get the best mate, remember it's not all about you, it's not just about she fitting into your life, it's about both of you fitting into each other's lives.

4. Lastly, I am not sure if love is one of the least factors that should be considered like you guys say. For me, I'll say it's actually the most important. A lot happens in marriage that you would only overlook simply because you love the person. At that stage, factors like age, beauty, wealth and other materialistic factors becomes irrelevant. Only love counts!!! You can say I think like this cuz I'm female but I refuse to believe that love affects only the female species. You can tick all my box, but if I don't love you, then it's not going to happen. And yes, I am talking from experience. In my dating days, I had guys who had everything I wanted in a man, infact, over possessed the qualities I wanted but it just didnt click and I had to let go after friendzoning for a while. I consider it a lifetime of torture living your whole life with someone you have no feelings for. Everything the person does would surely irritate me. Again, you can say I am being unduly emotional cuz I am a female but I still refuse to believe that men don't do the unbelievable for love. I read yesterday of the wedding between the richest black man in the US, a portfolio investor I think, getting married to a playboy model where is the logical correlation?? I have seen more enough to be convinced otherwise. In choosing a partner, I'll say follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Thanks for the tip on numbering paragraphs...will try to do that mentally.

You're right, marriage is about fitting into each others lives. That said, there are some things that only men can teach each other and that's the reason for this thread an example is a post somewhere on this thread where TV broke down the difference between what you need to get a girl and what you need to keep a girl, that post opened my eyes to stuff I had previously misunderstood. I've heard it said that women cannot raise a man, much the same way a man cannot raise a woman.

On the issue of love, it differs, each man will have a different ranking but you're right love is extremely important, it makes things a lot easier when your wife is the person that toggles your mumu switch. On the issue of the playboy-portfolio thing, different strokes for different folks maybe he's trying to compensate for something.

Timbuktou:
You know how women are, they gotta have a say in everything. Since, they've come to our turf to critique our beliefs in full glare of the public, we have to defend our opinions and show their credibility. Otherwise, we stand the risk of losing our men to fine-sounding but substance-lacking "progressive" arguments. Hope you're with me on that?

I agree, though, it can be regulated somewhat.

I'm totally with you on the need to engage the ladies when they appear to be going off course, I think we could move it to separate threads when it begins to get drawn out. The difference in perspectives adds to the richness of the debate but still we need to guard the purpose this thread was established for hence the need for regulation. Part of the reason things are as bad as they are getting is because we as men are starting to lose focus.

@Pickabeau1, TV01, 5minsmadness, Timbuktou, kevinberry, apextitan
I might be slightly off but I think the general purpose of this thread was for us to have a spot to discuss issues that affect us as men(husbands, husbands to be, husbands never to be etc... ), we're starting to get sidetracked o...let's keep the philosophical discussions to other threads biko.

On this here thread political correctness takes a backseat. This is the boys thread.

ApexTitan:
C'mon guys this is not true.

NAWALT

(Not All Women Are Like That)

That's the classic refrain when the underlayer of the female pysche as relates to mate selection or sexual strategies is exposed. The workings and machinations reveal a cold and merciless efficiency in achieving its objectives that it leaves many in disbelief.

It is true that women do not emerge from an evil meeting or convention where these strategies that are being revealed today were decided upon. There was no secret assembly or coven no referendums or conferences but the fact remains that all women are subject to specific biological influences that determine their behaviour in these matters. All of this operates on a limbic, organic level. It is this behaviour that informs part of the social conventions and cultures that we have around us.

The fact which Oga TV mentioned that women are strategic in relationship matters is one that rings true every time. There is no woman who is not on some level subject to the workings of hypergamy. Indeed even the fairy tale notion of love, or romantic love as some people are appealing to here, plays to the very strengths of this strategy. It provides the perfect cover for the feminine imperative to achieve its objective with the least amount of resistance because it requires it's subject to remain unaware of its calculations in the name of waiting for true magical love.

Today, for long term relationships and marriages a man who understands the mechanics at work and what is required of him stands the best chance of benefiting from it. It is this reason that "just follow your heart" can be quite a dangerous thing to do.

This understanding has to be acquired because what used to work in the past - traditions and conventions that made accommodations for these realities - are dying or being pushed to into irrelevance.

You are on point!

@edwife, damiso, naijababe and all,
let me give my perspective on the youthfulness, singlemumness and what have you thingy from a more general perspective. Caveat, I'm not intelligent enough to concentrate for long periods though, I tend to drift

As a man, being the head of the house is not up for argument, it's a fact that exists much the same way the Sun will set in the west and rise in the east. It's not something to be discussed, personally I don't get into arguments about submission and what not because for me being the head is not an enjoyable task, it's something that is expected of me. It means I'm responsible for the unit, its failures are my failures, its successes are mine as well, being the head of the family exposes you to the burden of command.

Anyone that thinks being the head of the family is a cake walk doesn't yet understand what responsibility is, such a person is like a soldier that is still tripped by the fact that all his subordinates snap to attention once he passes by but has failed to realize that he is responsible for their lives. In civilian terms, it's like someone who just got promoted and is tripped by the fact that his approval limit is now up to a million naira from zilch, he is yet to realize how much value he is expected to create.

If I'm going to bear that burden, it makes sense for me to choose the best team/unit possible, I need to be sure that the burden I carry will be worth it. If I'm going to have to protect, provide for and love a woman for the rest of my life I'd be darned if I choose a partner for whom my ability to give my all would be in doubt, in simple english, the juice has to be worth the squeeze. To some, it might involve youth, to some it might involve tribe, to some it might involve intellect but the fact is that the man(and of course the woman too) owes it to himself to give the union he will head the best shot at succeeding.

This is what we face as men, so pardon me if I try to analyze women down to a "T", or if I relegate the mish-mash of hormones(or what have you) we call love to the background, the fact is that I am on a mission, it would be nice if you loved me and worshipped the ground I walk on but then if that means I have to lose site of my mission then to hell with love(well sorta...lol).

Truthfully speaking though, love or whatever we choose to call it is part of the factors we need to consider and so it cannot be thrown away but the fact is that for some men it might not make the top 5 considerations for choosing a marriage partner.

debosky:
Just briefly visiting bro. . . hope you're doing good.

Yep I am...thanks , that scrubber made me a star back then o...thanks.

debosky:
Men have little to fear really. . . .if you marry a rapacious plague who just wants to extract value from you, it's all on you bro.

Besides, I don't buy all of this 'women holding all the cards' business. Whether or not men admit it, married or divorced or otherwise, women do carry out majority of the parental responsibility so why won't the person who takes care of the kids more get custody more often than not?

Men, in general, earn more, and have become socialised to think they 'should' earn more than their wives - with all the negative effects of women being paid less than men even when doing the same jobs etc.

The reality most men need to face is that there is nothing inherently higher earning about men - at least for most people not involved in physical exertion to earn a living. Your wife earning more/paying a bigger share of bills doesn't necessarily make you less of a 'man' - it's all dependent on your spouse.

If your ego can't handle it, do as TV said and marry a lower paid/lower potential woman, preferably not the type that will leave you and take your hard earned money.

boss...this one that you are posting here, what changed?

kai...I have missed o

pickabeau1:
You don see d link

yep...trying to figure the site out...

bellong:
@pick,

What is SSM?

Same sex marriage

rudebouy:
I heard solar power will be very cheap in the future?

Do solar panels generate power during rainy seasons like we are in now, say from June to August when we have high and frequent rainfall?

rudebouy:
Tisha! U didnt ansa my question abt solar panels.

rudebouy:
Tisha! U didnt ansa my question abt solar panels.

No vex...during the rainy seasons you will likely have fewer hours of useful sunlight so the amount of energy available will reduce. It's not as simple as ABC though. An internet search for solar panels rainy season will give you a ton of info on the matter let me not jam talk...Lol

rudebouy:
Okay, wot abt a 3,000 MW solar power plant? Is dat going to be impossible also?

Technically nothing is impossible, the limitation I can see immediately is the land requirement, something of that scale might be better as CSP than photovoltaic.

rudebouy:
Na wa oh! And I tot I knew sth abt power. Bros abeg ur d boss. On dis day, I annoint you as my professor on power affairs.

Why Buhari no get ppl like you as him advisers sef?

Naahhhh...I'm still learning work. I started out with transmission, learnt you can't have transmission without generation so I learnt a bit about generation, learnt you can't have generation without fuels so I started to learn a bit about gas and other fuels...also have had to learn a bit about finance because that's important. I'm just a power junke , when the bosses arrive you will be complexed. I'm a couple of years away from boss status.

rudebouy:
Okay. Sori I didnt see dat earlier. But how abt expanding an already existing gas power plant from a 100MW capacity to 3,000MW? Is it going to be at the same cost? Wont private investors be interested in such expansion projects?

Besides, why would a gas power plant be cheaper dan a hydro power plant?

100MW to 3000MW? it's practically the same thing as going greenfield so yeah the costs should be the same...investors are interested in returns, what's the payback period? what tariff will you get in your PPA? etc etc, greenfield or brownfield isn't all that important.

Have you seen a dam before? the amount of concrete you need to build one isn't beans o...plus the environmental impact assessment for a dam isn't a cake walk, it takes years to study the rainfall and potential effects your reservoir will have on the surroundings.