₦airaland Forum

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If the quality of men patronizing Nairaland is anything like twitter, then (by her estimation) I'll expect that only 10% of guys here would not be offended by her standards. Like she said: her world is not your world. There are truly amazing guys out there who haven't been molded by a woman; and girls are free to set their sights high. They should just make sure they have the quality to attract such men.

lowgeorge:
We have so many illiterates parading themselves as learned... That's the problem..
It's all about being insightful to understand this piece

Sad truth.

You're right. Most people prefer to be unreceptive and indignant rather than be insightful. They are allergic to all forms of criticism. So, they don't give themselves the opportunity to escape their ignorance.

This was a great read from an evidently enlightened person. Unfortunately, thoughts in long text are thoughts forever lost on a lot of today's youth.

Omoluabi16:
Talking about the law and consent, this same group thinks a 5year old can choose his/her gender. Aren't these little ones in the mix already?

You are referring to a child's legal guardian consenting to let the child have gender re-assignment surgery? Because children cannot decide without their guardian's approval. Can we first take a long moment to appreciate how far away this is from letting a child consent to having sex?..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................okay, I think this will do.


Regarding issues of health as with a select other matters, a child's parents have purview. If a child goes in for experimental cancer treatment, the mother/father signs the release forms. If a baby is born with six fingers, the parents consent to the removal of one digit. If a child is born with physical gender ambiguity (intersex), some parents agree to have surgery immediately. Sometimes without even knowing which sex is dominant. But gender ambiguity is not only expressed physically. A human being consists of many variables - biology as well as chemistry; hardware and software. If both aren't in harmony, then there is an internal crisis. A crisis that would result in confusion, dissatisfaction and maybe even suicide. If a child is in that form of crisis, it would become evident over time, and the parent would likely take him/her through psychological evaluations and counseling before considering treatment options. Gender re-assignment surgery is never done with levity. A parent's concern is for the child's well-being. Some parents (who aren't sure) wait until the child is old enough to make the decision for his/herself. But sometimes, a child's crisis is so big that they cannot afford to wait.


A parent cannot, however, give consent for sex on behalf of his/her child. As a parent you have a responsibility to nurture a child: feed, clothe, educate and generally keep in good health. Matters which keep a child and his future alive. Sex doesn't serve that end. It has serious repercussions which children aren't equipped to deal with.

I wish I could say "nice try"; but, no. This is a piss poor effort at trying to draw parallels between homosexuality and paedophilia. It only goes to show how intellectually stunted some people are; and how desperately we need to cushion the effect of words spoken by stupid people.

Paedophilia is wrong because it victimizes children (who cannot consent to sex, and should be protected by law). It isn't wrong because some guy/woman prefers little people. If they had a dwarf-fetish, that would be okay. You may find it disgusting, but it won't be against the law if said dwarves were consenting adults. But it's not about size, these sick people actually get off on the victimization of innocents. They are predators, and they are in the same category with rapists. Bestiality will be in this category as well, until said animal can give valid consent, and be adjudged to be of sound mind when consenting to be fvcked by a human. Since this is not possible, animals should be given the same regard a person would afford a "mad woman" on the streets.In both instances, effective communication cannot be assumed. Wet pussy does not equal consent.

Homosexuality shouldn't even be mentioned along with all of this nonsense.

The key word is "victim" in any given situation. The law is there to protect people; not to make life hard. If life gets hard for someone because a law protects someone else, that's bearable collateral damage. But if you're simply making things difficult for someone without the justification of a life saved, then the law is the antagonist; and it should be repealed.

A man can be a "good man"; that doesn't necessarily mean that he is good for you. Define your relationship goals and make sure that both of you are contributing to achieve them. If he's absent too often, he may be taking you for granted; and that is not healthy. A woman who is taken for granted will change her attitude towards you. It's not ingratitude or wickedness; it's the seeds you've sown.

You have to learn to believe in yourself and trust in your abilities. Self-doubt is your worst enemy when you're looking to progress, and it would sabotage even the knowledge that you do have. Just know that you can do this: be calm and improve yourself by extensive reading and keen observation. The learning never ends.

As for your current situation, figure out what you did wrong and what you should have done. Then tell your boss that you have made an error in judgement, that you should have done XYZ, and that you would never make this mistake again. Don't be afraid to be criticized, it is his job. But he will see that you have grown from your mistake, and you would be on your way towards earning his respect. A man is not beyond making mistakes; he faces up to them.

pocohantas:
Hmmmmm...

...........I work really hard. It's the only way one earns the right to get ahead. ............

kense88:
4 eggs for just a meal, is way too much, health wise.

It's the yolk that's high in cholesterol. I do egg whites only; it's good protein, and I work out so it's recommended. Especially after a busy night session. And besides, if you see a 5-egg white omelette (it's basically the size of one pancake) it's really not that much for breakfast. There's nothing else but the veggie filling to go with it.

boyjo:
I use 6 to 8 BIG eggs because I love eggs.
Not every day but anytime I feel like.
She should leave him.

Thank you! Finally! ........God bless you joor.

WORDWORLD:
EXCELLENT!

I love the style with which you disconstructed the very core of the subject matter using the different levels in psyche, 'SELF,' as it relates to biology, psychology, sociology. What an elucidation! VERY, VERY ENLIGHTENING.

Indeed, our choice of living is a human conditioning by 'ideologies', 'beliefs', which sanctions our instincts to fit a conceptualized behavioural traits, defined by choice of 'beliefs' 'ideologies'.

Nature of course is not culture.

Now, one of the major things Hardmirror is simple pointing to is the 'MORALISTIC HYPOCRISY' exhibited by Nigerians who are mostly either MUSLIMS or CHRISTIANS when it comes to issues concerning HOMOSEXUALISM.

Fact being that, according to scriptures, using the Bible as my scripture of reference, it states very clearly:
1 Corinthians 6:9-10

"do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God".

Meaning, those who are:
1. Sexually immoral (fornicators)
2. Idolaters
3. Adulters
4. Homosexuals
5. Thieves
6. The Greedy
7. Drunkard
8. Revilers
9. Swindlers
WILL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

This 'MORALISTIC HYPOCRISY' which Hardmirror is pointing, shows it's face in the kind of out-cry HOMOSEXUALISM gets as compared to the remaining acts condemned by the same Bible which makes clear that from number 1 to 9 all share the same fate. THEY WILL ALL NOT ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD. Meaning are all going to HELL.

Now, if the whole 9 share the same very end, HELL according to this verses quoted above. Why are acts of FORNICATION, ADULTERY very much GLORIFIED in Nigeria to the point of using this acts condemned by the Bible to HELL as a means of luring people to the KINGDOM OF GOD by some Christians today, a tactic? As it is use by bloggers to gain trends. An evidence is this sort of manipulation is this thread.
https://www.nairaland.com/4588632/when-fork-pr-ck-it#68943486 (a good read)

So, except in a society that cherishes and practices such acts ADULTERY AND FORNICATION with joy, without remorse, without shame, very proud of their SEXUAL IMMORALITIESNcan such be used as a means of manipulating such a society for paltry gains.

If not, such as 'BIG BROTHER NIGERIA' performed by Nigerians and watched by Nigerians who are mostly MUSLIMS and CHRISTIANS wouldn't have been so followed in multitude by those who go to Church and Mosque for its INDECENCY. Just making anothrr example of a program that promotes SEXUAL IMMORALITY and very much loved by Nigerians.

Fornication, Fornicators, Adultery, Adulterers is, are very much CELEBRATED and not CONDEMNED on this very social media platform own by a Nigerian and mostly patronized by Nigerians who are mostly MUSLIMS and CHRISTIANS, yet another example.

Making Hardmirror's accussation of INSINCERITY, legitimate, and very Genuine.

For SINCERITY according to Wikipedia, defines sincerity as

'the VIRTUE of one who communicates and acts in accordance with their feelings, BELIEFS, thought and desires'.

Our communication and actions aint in most cases in accordance with our BELIEFS. Homosexualism is singled out for bashing while the rest is practiced with pride.

AS IF SAYING, GOD IS AN slowpoke FOR CONDEMNING ALL 9 TO THE SAME VERY END, HELL AND NOT HOMOSEXUALISM ALONE.

These so called RELIGIOUS FOLKS, Nigerians keep making a FOOL of themselves by practicing FORNICATION and ADULTERY which leads to the same end as HOMOSEXUALISM while thinking the are better than HOMOSEXUALS, self deceiving themselves if that Bible verse is not a mere mockery.

WHY THE DOUBLE STANDARD IS A POINT HARDMIRROR IS RAISING ON THIS THREAD.

If the BIBLE out cry to 'heterosexuals' against sexual immorality as FORNICATION and ADULTERY is 362 times as against HOMOSEXUALISM only 6 times?

WHY IS SEXUAL IMMORALITY COMMITTED BY HETEROSEXUALS TREATED WITH LEVITY?

*Note, am 100 % STRAIGHT who shares a view with Hardmirror's TRUTH. The problem is very much about 'HYPOCRISY'.
If Charlyboy's daughter should share a tape of lesbian acts. On NL, the trend will go KABOOM with number of views.

This thread below may interest you to read too.

https://www.nairaland.com/3097462/homosexualism-humanity-collective-hypocrisy

You are absolutely on point: the issue is hypocrisy. You've said it all. And you have said it well.

pocohantas:

..........What, too many? It's still under 300 calories. Less, since I use only the whites. I refuse to be shamed

Well, they are your eggs so you have a right to tell her how many she can have from your fridge. But don't think you can tell a person how many eggs are too many to eat. When I make an omelette, if the sizes are small, I could use as many as five eggs (3 if they are large). This is even a standard serving; six inches in diameter.

HardMirror:
illiteracy has a lot to do with it and insincerity

I think you meant to say "ignorance"

Many people are ignorant about the biological, psychological and sociological aspects of the human psyche (or soul), and how they influence each other. The id, ego and the superego. The id latches on to the body and is concerned with doing everything the body needs to be "happy". If you're hungry, for instance, you should have food. If you're Hot, you want sex. That's the reaction of the id. The psyche of a baby is 100% Id.

As we get older and get the opportunity to be nurtured, the superego (sociological aspect) is developed through interaction with the world. We are taught the values of our society; and these values often put the id in conflict with the superego. If you're hungry, for instance, and someone next to you has a plate of food, your id simply wants that food but the superego tells you that it would be wrong to take the food away from that person. So the body must suffer for a bit even though there is food in the vicinity. However, It's not a hopeless situation. The superego knows that you could ask the person for the food, or hustle for yours. And when you're Hot and there's a naked girl in the vicinity, your id wants to fvck her right away. Your superego tells you that it would be wrong to rape her and you must maintain self-control or obtain consent.

The superego doesn't do this to be nice to others but, instead, to protect a person from social repercussions. If the superego is broken you become a sociopath, but you'll still live. When the id is broken or suffocated, you'll be dead.

With homosexuality, the id has desires which the superego does not sanction. In this case (unlike with being hungry or Hot) the id's desires aren't even negotiated; the superego simply attempts to shut the id down which is actually impossible to do (without compromising a person's ability to be content). Two things can happen: the id can refuse to be suppressed by the superego and risk the consequences; or, the superego can suffocate the id, and the person commits suicide. It isn't really suicide, it's murder; because the superego is society's assassin.

Stealing (unless you're referring to kleptomania), raping and sometimes even killing aren't desires. They're acts to fulfill desires/needs. They are the result of satisfying the id without conscience (superego). The id's hunger is, however, not denied; a person is just not allowed to satisfy himself at the expense of another person.

Homosexuality is a specific desire (of the id), just as much as a liking for a particular food is. The superego protects the id from society by internalizing homophobia but it does so at the expense of the id because it doesn't give it an alternative way to be content. When this happens (when laws attack the id) then there is something wrong, because without the id the superego will not survive (or be necessary). But laws are flexible for this reason: we don't always get it right the first time. Individual expression should only be stifled if it threatens another person. That way, the worst case scenario would be "a life for a life" should a person decide to kill himself over suppression of the id.

But more than ignorance, I think "hating" is one of humanity's favorite pastimes. Wherever human beings can get "guilt-free hate", they cash in (And religion makes the hatred for homosexuals not only guilt-free, it glorifies it!). That's why there will always be prejudice. The need to dislike anything different from you, probably stems from individual vanity. Prejudice will come down to personal differences, but before we indulge in solitary hatred, we would enjoy it as a group activity. To drag yourself out of this base human tendency, you have to find enlightenment of the mind (and make a conscious effort to tolerate the differences of others) or you must have let your heart be touched by the genuine love of God. In that case, you will not find it in you to be hateful to another human being who has done you no wrong.

Some of these parties where girls get free entry are usually the ones where the ladies are perceived to be the attraction/entertainment/dish on the menu. It's not a favour or preferential treatment, it's simply a tactic to get lots of girls in to make the party more attractive to guys. Because guys aren't likely to patronize pool parties where there are only naked guys; and if it isn't awoof, most girls would stay home. So, the organizers are just being as smart as they know how to be. More money is the bottom line; so if they can get women to pay by playing on their sentiments (while also being the entertainment) why not give it a shot by targeting feminists?

Petty.

There's no such thing as "ideal body count"

Some guys want virgins;
Some guys want a number under five
Some guys want any number as long as it's less than theirs
Some guys don't care

.....it's all a factor of your own self-esteem and/or your cultural disposition. Real question: where do you belong on that list? Don't be afraid to follow your individual convictions. If you're desperate to belong to the majority, ask yourself if the majority of people are happy.

......well, three people have liked your post, so you might be speaking some people's truth. Maybe you're suffering from the "Charles Marlow syndrome". A reference from She Stoops to Conquer.

It's hard to tell if you've never been a cotton bud.

MISEDUCATIONS:
dont compare the 8 health risks o gave you to getting malaria or AIDS. you're being dumb. those are risks of life not risks of body size. your fat angels are at risk of car accidents, malaria etc PLUS :

I'll do me; you do you. And that guy in the OP will do him. Don't quote me again, you and I have nothing to discuss.

MISEDUCATIONS:
you think personality cant be lost? you think Eve was created corrupt?
just tell me 2 benefits of dating a fat woman.
i'll tell you 5 tragedies of dating fat women:
1.fat women are prone to high BP
2.fat women are prone to sugar diabetes
3.fat women are prone to heart disease
4.fat women are peone to low self-esteem and deppression
5.fat women die far ealier than in-shape women.
6.fat women will divorce their partner if they lose weight
7.fat women are on average less intelligent than slim girls


you cant argue against facts just coz your GF is fat.

This is your problem: you cannot interpret "...prefer to prioritize personality over weight." She is kind, smart , funny, fits me to a tee. So what if she's fat? I would be stupid to pass on a gem of a girl because she's carrying around a few extra pounds. If her BP becomes an issue we will handle it. For now she's healthy as a horse. I have a slightly high BP (it runs in the family) and I am not fat.

All of your points suggest an increased risk factor. Heredity, smoking, unhealthy diet may also increase risks. And please don't think that all people who are thin have a healthy diet. Fat people who have low self-esteem would find that their self-esteem would still be low after they lose the weight. Self-esteem comes from self-acceptance and contentment, not from tailoring yourself to meet public expectations. There have been "in-shape" women who have died before their fatter counterparts. For instance, through AIDS, respiratory infections, Malaria, Child birth, car accidents, the list is endless.

Your last point is utterly baseless; and if you don't know it I'm truly sorry for you. Anyway, I relate with people on an individual basis; not with a blanket bias that says all fat people are this, or all black people or that. Your point that a fat girl would seek divorce if she lost weight suggest that she didn't have self-esteem. That's a chance I would have to take. Women take those chances every time they marry a poor man who's got the possibility of becoming rich eventually.

And yeah, personality is a product of nature and nurture. It endures. The only way you lose it is if you have dementia, Alzheimer's, or any of those illnesses that attack the psyche.

Like I said, stick to skinnies, it is your prerogative. It does not, however make it a universal preference. And guys who are in love with girls who are big should not be criticized for their choice. Everyone has the right to decide what's most important to them in a relationship. I hope this is clear, and that we are done.

MISEDUCATIONS:
just stop. fat is fat. and fat will die young. no matter how you feel about it.
missy elliot even lost weight to live longer. so did Rick Ross. meanwhile Big Punisher died as a direct result of being over-weight. stop defending unhealthy people. just stop.

You just said it: Missy lost weight. So has Star Jones, Lepacious Bose and many other fat people. Fat can be lost. Which is why some men prefer to prioritize personality over weight. I for instance would chose a heavy happy girl who is kind and who fits my personality to someone who is aesthetically appealing with a shiit personality. There is no diet plan that can fix that. Let the guy be, he knows his shiit. To use your words: Just stop! You are free to avoid fat girls, just don't assume every guy must. And by the way, stop pretending that being fat is the only way to be unhealthy.

MISEDUCATIONS:
why would a guy that hits the gym, eats healthy doesnt smoke or drink and goes to great lengths to live long wanna hook up with a fat pig that will die before 40 of high BP, sugar diabetes and heart problems? why have children who'll grow up with a bad role model in terms of health? there is a reason rich people and celebrities dont date small elephants.

How do you know he doesn't smoke or drink? Assumptions. His commitment to health would be more believable if he didn't have tats. This here seems to be a commitment to aesthetics, not health. Anyway, this is only a picture so assumptions would be made. You have seen her own, you have not seen his. It doesn't mean it's not there. Imagine that he were a crack head whose life expectancy was diminished by his lifestyle and the risks he takes; imagine he were deaf, dumb and had a micro-dick, he wouldn't be that popular with the ladies. My point is don't judge the situation because you cannot see the full picture from a snapshot.

Smh, people judging the dynamics of this relationship simply because she's fat. Being physically fit and healthy looking doesn't automatically make you a "catch". Everyone has got their issues. And some issues would make obesity pale in comparison. For all we know, this dude could be the lucky one here. His mother could be booking thanks-giving service on this matter.

Let them be. If they are happy together, then they are perfect for each other.

......and somewhere in Ekiti state, a man was sentenced to death for stealing 7 bottles of beer. Thief of beer - death penalty; thief of human being - 20years. I guess Nigerian lives don't matter as much as beer to these people. Shame.

Let her go; you seem to be no good for each other.

Okay, this is Africa; let's not pretend like some men don't carry 18year old girls from the village to "make" them into compliant wives. And let's not pretend like some women don't let themselves be molded for men who would look after them. On that premise: The next time you look for a wife to "train" be mindful of the fact that every human being has an ego regardless of gender, and as such they should be treated with respect. Even if you get someone from the village who is used to a different way of doing things, don't assume you can simply bark orders like "Shut the toilet door! Don't you know this is the city?". You have to be kind when "training" your wife to suit your purpose. I'm saying this because, from your story, she closed the toilet door as soon as you asked her to, but she was still upset. I believe that you might be condescending when "correcting" your wife-in-training. That would explain her reaction. And it would also explain why you would want to make her apologize for her mistakes after the toilet door was closed upon your instruction.

Not all women might be teachable, but not all men are good teachers either, and vice versa. Which is why some people just find compatible mates and prepare themselves to live with the quirks. But, if you are the type of man who doesn't want to make adjustments yourself in order to blend with a woman who is already refined, learn skills to train your wife. Even dogs get rewarded with treats, which means that their will isn't taken for granted, what more a person. Learn to "correct" someone with love and see if the lesson won't take. Just ask yourself: if this was me, how would I want to be told? Empathize!

In her mind, she may not just be keeping malice, she may actually be thinking "I'm done! what does he want? I cook, clean, support him, and still he treats me like trash". And when you come begging, she's thinking "He's not so bad after all, let me give him another chance". It's all a matter of perspective. So, while everyone seems to be calling her names, I'm saying check yourself too.

That's good to know. Just know that feminists are the ones who have given you a choice in the matter. You are exercising the gift they've given you and you don't even know it. They've opened the cage door and you can decide to fly out or stay inside; nevertheless, you won't feel trapped. In the old days this tweet would have been redundant or even downright disrespectful because it implies that your husband's position as the head of the family was ever in doubt. Nobody would ask you what you want or what you think, it's irrelevant.

.

Two people must first come together in love before they can grow in love. It is a substance that grows. A seed grows into a plant; and if that seed is not there, there will be no growth of anything; it doesn't matter how hard you water the ground . Not every coming together of two people has the potential of growing into a loving marriage. Compatibility is important. That's why the Bible talk about the dangers of being unequally yoked.

Smh. The man, the boy, and the donkey. You're a fool whatever you do, because everyone will have a different perspective of things. By your reasoning, if your girl had paid for the stuff, you would be happy to carry the load? Think about it: she pays and you're left holding the bag by default? I don't think so.

It's probably a very tiny bag; whoever bought it doesn't need a "bag-carrier" for it. You can relinquish it only if the other person offers to "help".

Ignorance.

Parents want what's "best" for their children. In our society largely still, what's considered "best" for a girl child is finding a good husband and getting settled in family life. In order to do this, a girl's reputation usually needs to be impeccable because no man wants to be shamed by a woman who isn't "virtuous". Most men have an inexplicable fear of ridicule; no man wants to be laughed at. Least of all, over the fact that the woman whose head he has paid bride price on has slept with every guy in the room for free. This is one of the reasons why virginity is so dear.

And as long as that's the case, parents and care-givers will consent to methods that give their daughters a better chance at keeping their "virtues". Women might have many virtues (for themselves they have the capability to live a happy life, and for the society they can add value through their vocation) but, unfortunately, they are still valued by the value they bring to men. Snipping a woman will kill her interest in sex. Hopefully. Therefore, she's less inclined to pursue sexual gratification for her own sake. But in marriage, because women are taught to be "dutiful" wives, they would still have sex even if it doesn't give them any pleasure, in order to please their husbands. That way, they get to keep their marriage intact.

FGM is vile and it has to be stopped, but if we only attack FGM without addressing the values that necessitated this practice, we would only be putting a band-aid on the sore while the gangrene continues to fester. A woman should be valued for her personality and character, not for her purity as if she were a sacrificial lamb to be presented unblemished before a god.