₦airaland Forum

@bluenubian

I remember ‘rub-and-shine’


@Eastcoast

Sorry to hear about the burns/battle scars dear – we’ve all got them for different reasons

But Eastcoast, you girls were always agile when it came to food though – truth be told . The sweetest, kindest girl often transformed into a proper dragon whenever food was involved. Chei ! I remember when the girls in my school meticulously planned an invasion of the dining hall. It was Yam-Po (Yam Porridge) night and the girls rang the bell very early, trooped to the hall and locked the doors. The guys were taken unawares. ‘Wetin dey happen?’, guys were wondering. ‘Dem wan go clean dining hall? No go oh! Dem go say make you help them’ . Little did we know that the girls had no intention of sharing dinner with us that night. Almighty Yam-Po Night of all nights. Imagine!

When the penny dropped, the guys besieged the dining hall on all sides – front, back, sides and even the kitchen entrance.  All were locked and the girls were eating! The whole school was in a state of confusion. Shouts of ‘wetin una think say una dey do?’ and ‘make una come open door oh’, rent the air. Junior boys (like me) also took the opportunity to insult senior girls through the bars in the windows. ‘Una dey craze’, ‘God punish una there’, ‘thunder fire your big yansh’, ‘see your scatter-scatter teeth like machine-gun bullet’ (we had just finished cutting grass, we were very hungry – we were not thinking straight ). Anyway, insults didn’t work so I went to the window near my assigned table. I looked through the bars, made eye-contact with the girls on my table and threw innocent looks which said ‘wetin I do you now?’, ‘me and these other ragamuffins no follow oh’, ‘abeg pity me, hunger dey finish me here’. No matter how hard I tried, those chicks were not buying my baby face. They were looking at me (and munching at the same time) as if they didn’t know who the heck I was. Imagine! Some other boys were pulling on a bar in the window, wanting to free it by any means necessary. I immediately joined in. All our Incredible Hulk and King Kong strength came out that day. Still, nothing. The bar was coming loose but it was cemented into the wall. The only solution was to use something sharp to chip away at the cement. Knives and forks started coming out of pockets. Some were pulling the bar, others were digging frantically (hunger is a powerful motivator any day). We eventually removed the bar (or weapon as one boy clearly believed) and just as we squeezed into the hall, the female prefects opened the doors. The girls had finished eating. Imagine! Luckily, I spotted my female cousin (even she didn’t tell me about the plan - imagine! ) who hooked me up before she escaped with the other girls to their dorm.

The guys were understandably livid when they rushed into the hall. Eyes were red, fists were clenched and cutlery was held in the attack position. I promptly took my illegal loot and sneaked through the window with the now-missing bar/weapon. I was grateful to my cousin but I also made a mental note never to trust her . Needless to say, no girl (on majority of the tables, mine included) ate in the hall for about a week (before nko?) as punishment. They didn’t even bother to come to the hall. They knew the score.

After our anger subsided, our respect for the girls grew significantly. Those chicks didn't mess about! The way they planned and executed their dining hall invasion was simply flawless. If the guys had planned something similar, it would have leaked for sure.

Many of us still fondly remember ‘The Great Yam-Po Massacre’. Songs were written, dances were choreographed - all in honour of our girls. Gosh, those chicks rocked!

Top thread laide o! I checked the link and all the memories came gushing. I went to a Federal School as well (Pro Unitate, baby!) and so it was easy to relate even though my school was mixed. No, especially since my school was mixed. Oh, bless.

One thing is certain. Mummy’s boys went in and came out ‘hard men’. ‘Hard men’ went in and came out near-hardened criminals. It was just the way it went - couldn’t be helped. BE SHARP OR DIE! Moreover, you had to man-up quickly enough to resist the sudden urges to throw yourself through the nearest top-floor ‘louverless’ window. In JS1 especially, these urges were plentiful.

I’d be happy to recount some of my experiences (and they are many). First though, if you don't want us to post our stories here, you need to clarify the issue of payment – amount, frequency and method. Which one be “Of course you'll be compensated later on when the book hits the shelves”? Remember say na Federal we go oh! Which kain 'jabo' be that?!

chynes:
@Larger-20
I guess eddy murphy must have had igbo ancestors too.
Afterall in coming to america, he sang one of the tracks in the movie, played at least 4 different parts.
Stop generalising man

Thanks Chynes, I was just about to say the same thing after I read his post. Let's not also forget Nutty Professor where he played a whopping 8 characters! Some people just cannot bring themselves to say anything good about the Igbo. Ignore his foolishness. It comes from a diseased place. Feel sorry for him instead.

@ToyM28 and dominobaby,

Clever aint she? She has earned her popularity as far as I'm concerned 

And the 6th way to achieve Instant Fame On Nairaland, start a thread on the 5 Ways To Achieve Instant Fame On Nairaland!

Oh Eastcoast, you clever, clever girl!