₦airaland Forum

We will love to have a good presence of Nairalanders at the burial. If you are not in Benin/Edo axis but will still be able to go, please let us know.

And if you dont want to state it on the thread, please send us an email: nairalandcharity@gmail.com

Am not surprised at you Tunji, its the same way you have been jumping on people's well intentioned post and giving it your own interpretation like you are Mr all knowing who can also see into people's mind and motives. Your fan the amber of discord rather than killing it yet claim to be a friend of all and a peacemaker. One need not go outside this thread to see it.

Again Intelligent adviser ignore me. It is the simplest thing you can do, I don't need your advice, if I need one I certainly wont come to you. I owe jenny an explanation cause i mentioned her name, not you. If your conscience disturbs you by what i have said without mentioning your name then deal with it.

jennykadry:
It is a possibility not worth considering. Blaming people for Perx' death is unbelievable. What the hell were you thinking when you typed that? Yea you feel nothing but guess what? I am a human being and I felt something and believe me, no way on earth will I look at someone and tell them that if only they were nice in their approach a deceased person will still be here with us. No I have a conscience and wouldn't say that. See the way you put some part of the blame on me and BB but got yourself out of it by saying "You had to support her in her decision" WHY THE FUK DIDN'T YOU GET HER OUT OF UBTH IF THE CONSULTANT WHO WAS WELL KNOWN WAS AGAINST IT?

You know what, keep your write up and show it to people that would really take it seriously. Everyone apologised to perx and moved on, we apologised to perx before she admitted herself. If she still went ahead and did it then it is nobody's fault

You know what? I am not doing this, I refuse to do this.

My sincere apologies jenny if my write up come across to you like that. I really don't mean it like that and am not blaming anyone for her death. Again I state: My aim is for us to see if there are better ways/approaches we can use handling things going forward. And again my apologies if i made you feel bad, not intentional at all.

maclatunji:
Oga, "possibly, just may be" is just an euphemism for saying you want to be wiser than God. If I want to follow your route ehn, this place will be in e-flames O. Let us just let this sleep!

Why are you screaming to get my response. I saw your 2 earlier posts and I ignore them. "possibly, just may be" is simple enough to understand without your advanced oxford dictionary explanations. Why are you jumping on me? Are you the one that advised her to go for surgery? or did I mention you in any way in my post? Please let me alone, I have said my piece.

jennykadry:
Possibly just maybe if we had acted well she would still be alive, How is that different from what I said? How would you feel if I said just possibly just maybe if one of yous or all of yous had travelled down there and got her out from UBTH or if you people had insisted on her waiting for the consultant , just maybe she would still be alive?

I won't say that because I know everybody meant well and it is nobody's fault here that she's passed on, whether we put it in a nice way or not, nobody should get any blame for it

I will feel nothing Jenny. It is a POSSIBILITY worth considering/learning from for future cases.

jennykadry:
I agreed with everything you posted but this. Are we to blame now for what happened? Please read this post of yours and tell me what it sounds like in your ears.

We all need to stop apportioning blames indirectly and directly. It is nobody's fault she passed on. We all wished her well and wanted her to get better. The only problem I had was the time gap between both surgeries and she was already admitted into UBTH. There was nothing anybody could have done, it all was in God's hands and he knew best.

Not at all, dont get me wrong, am not blaming anyone. the key phrase in the part you quoted is "possibly, just may be". My aim is for us to see if there are better ways/approaches we can use handling things going forward.

Thank you CC, debrief and others who advocated for peace. And am also happy with all of you that embraced peace.

Moving forward, I think there is one or 2 lessons we all can learn from what happened with the benefit of hindsight.

I know a lot of people see jk and bb as fighters/troublemakers, but underneath those "i will say it as I see it, raw and undiluted without giving a damm how anyone feels" lies some hard truth and realities. Looking back I wish many people saw beyond other things and embrace the intelligent advices bb gave. I remember many times the consultant we got from Lagoon Hospital said she should not rush for surgery until we get to the root cause of her problem. (Which was the same thing bb was saying all along).

To our surprise, a day to the day the consultant was scheduled to meet perx after series of email exchanges through us between perx and the consultant, she admitted herself to UBTH, and the doctor that refused to operate her but recommended her for treatment abroad for more than 2yrs suddenly wanted to operate her in a hurry. She told us the same time she posted it on NL and the surprise was part of the reason we were slow in answering some of the questions on the thread over that decision. In between her exchanges with us I could sense some people were unprofessionally advising her against waiting for the consultant: They thought we were trying to waste money. Then I wish there were many bb to tell her to go back home.

TeHN had no choice than to support her and pray for her, cos if we did otherwise, many of her advisers will see us as playing God with her life even though we were walking on a professional advice and some common senses.

Please don't get me wrong, I am not blaming perx; far from it, anyone in her pain and condition will want to have a solution as quick as possible, including me. But I wish perx had many bb as her advisers, just maybe she might still be alive today.

It is painful for us in TeHN beyond what many of you will understand. Tears rushed out of my eyes, when I read the comment of the consultant we got her, after he was told she passed on, he said "You guys allowed her to walk into her death". To him like bb also said, she shouldn't have been operated, just yet. So as her advisers, I think many of us might have failed her for not telling her enough truth.


Now to BB and Jenny:

People need the truth. Truth sets people free. But very few people can handle the truth raw and undiluted. That is why we are humans, only matured ones can see the truth in its raw form; though painful and hurting will still embrace it as the truth.

But I wish you ladies will change your approach of telling the truth and give a damm. What you don't know is that the truth you have might be a life saver if you properly administer it. Like many medications requiring small doses over a period of time to heal a sick.

Just think about it, may be if you ladies have used a more friendly tone in telling the truth and have avoided the bashing, possibly, just may be, we might still have perx with us today.

Thanks all. It is well.


Note: jk= jennykadry, bb=busybody and my post is not on behalf of TeHN.

chosen04:
You are right . . . .I was fully busy in Biafra guatamala then. . . . .

Its obvious that Seun enjoys such topics cos it drives traffic for his biz. . . . . . And you know that those who live in glass house shouldnt throw stones . . . . . . .I mean dont throw your VENOM on what your boss loves so much. . .

[b]So where will you be next time history happens? [/b]Welcome to the ''B'' nation , . . . . . .

I will be making history, making love and making babies with my chosen-04-babe

I will not say Amen to your request, rather I will pray God that God should remove the curse on Nigeria and clean out all the mess like He did in the past for many now great Nations.

chosen04:
You didnt even care to wash your murderatorship appointment for me ohhhh . . . . . .Sorry Moderatorship

lol @ murderratorship. . . I was looking for you to crown you as my 1st lady when it happened, but it looks like you went on sabbatical then.

So when did you get tired na? . . . .After your BOSS has succeeded in using such topics to drive traffics to this site?

all the Arewa vs Odua vs Biafra. . . . . . . .But such topics are interesting you know? If not how come most Biafran bashing topics makes it to the home page?

Well I don't moderate the home page. Only Seun can answer those questions.

Can you kindly remove the bolded from that statement 1st? . . . . . . . Before we talk? Thanks

ok, ok no vex. Too early to vex. Just assured me I wont need to apply for visa to see my inlaws. I hope I will have some citizen's right.

chosen04:
You dey VEX?

I don tire for all these threads nao, including all the Arewa vs Odua vs Biafra.

I hope you know say Biafra or not, you are still my chosen babe, and I once told you I don't want to be applying for visa to visit my inlaws. 

[quote author=ekt_bear link=topic=887083.msg10338338#msg10338338 date=1331015986]India honestly is not really a country I admire. It is just basically Nigeria.

Second, despite having many ethnic groups, they have some national things that unite them (the Hindi language, Hinduism), and have been united to some extent by history (previous empires on the sub-continent, struggling against Pakistan, etc.)

Nigeria on the other hand. . . just some big piece of land the British conquered and smushed together.[/quote]In addition banking reforms started under Abacha, remember the failed bank tribunal.

Also there was PTF, that was providing almost everything.

Of course I don't like the guy.

[quote author=ekt_bear link=topic=887083.msg10338233#msg10338233 date=1331014887]The world unfortunately is a depressing place, hehe.

Anyway this is part of the reason I'm so anti-Nigeria. . . by its very design it is kind of doomed to failure. I don't see how this thing will end up working out well.[/quote]Seriously, I don't like to mix spiritual with political matters, I believe people should be able to decide their future and leave God to decide other things, but Nigeria Needs a MIRACLE to work and make REAL progress. Yeah its depressing.

bittyend:
What type of democracy are you suggesting? Is it the Americanesque we practice now, or something else?? Personally, I don't the system of government we practice now will ever work for us, that's just my personal opinion. PDP is not going anywhere soon, and both ACN and CPC will soon be as bad as PDP - as the struggle for power continues. All our elites are CORRUPT, period.

We need a complete overhaul of the whole system - and I won't mind a Jerry Rawlings kind of guy taking over.

This is the reason I don't like to think about the future of this country. It looks hopeless. And I don't know how a Jerry Rawlings kind of a guy will emerge in Nigeria of today and you wont have some people revolting against him as soon as they find out his name and the ethnic group he comes from.

Looks like Nigerian is still on a long journey before any change can happen. I thought something snapped during the fuel subsidy protest, but as usual things are back to status quo, all the promises,  probes and committees set up will soon be totally forgotten, and Nigerians will continue with their suffering and smiling.

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=887083.msg10337938#msg10337938 date=1331010691]Ok. So what is different about the way we selected leaders then and the way we select them now?

It seemed people chose better leaders then, albeit regionally, but now, even the regional political leaders ( reps, govs, senate etc) are terrible choices imo.

Were people just smarter pre-1966 ? Or our present predicament is all because of the military Mis-adventure?[/quote]Nigerians have always  been voting on sentiments. But the military brought corruption and poverty to an unprecedented height and 3 things happened:

1. Peoples' orientation changed. Many people are now after what they can get from the system for themselves rather than what is good for the whole community.

2. It became really difficult for honest/sincere/good people to contest and win elections

3. Peoples' vote rarely counted

Are you people not tired of all these already? What have you gained with such vain discussions like this? Let's put our energy into discussions that are meaningful, educative and progressive.

Geez!

bittyend:
What form of government is best for Nigeria, you think?

Aside from Democracy - because I honestly think it's not ideal for us at this point.

I personally think the Chinese model would be the most suitable for us; based on our nature and temperament - with different provinces. But if we insist on Western styled democracy - I think the British parliamentary system (with a regional twist) would suit us better. Imagine having Odua, Arewa, Middle Belt and Niger Delta - under the Nigerian umbrella?? Everyone will answer their father's name, but will still share the same family house - if you get the drift.

I agree with the bold. This was working well with us before the military introduced the unitary system and later dumped a faulty democracy that lacks true federalism on us. Then each region was progressing well.

Interesting discuss. Wish we have more threads like this than "who is greater or uglier" threads.

While it is ok to have a square peg in a square hole, the president should simply fire incompetent ministers and work towards cutting down the cost of running government. That to me is urgent.

Happy belated birthday.



-------> General Section

Thank you maclatunji.

Money is meant to be spent. The question we need to ask is; what was the money spent on? If he spent the money on the well-being of Sokoto people, then he did well.

aribisala0:
I hope you will give an honest answer

Please check post 2916 on this thread.
I urge you to spend 5 minutes on the posts of that character and tell us what you are doing about it!

I saw the post you reported and I did nothing to it because IMO it was his opinion/analysis (faulty, may be) and not an insult.

We do not delete posts or recommend a poster for a ban cause we think the opinion presented is faulty and biased, else we will need to delete more than 70% of the posts on NL. Faulty opinions give room to healthy debate and education which a forum like this is meant for.

Interesting. Good to know.

snthesis:
1stly, I'd like to say R.I.P perx

Secondly, d manner of reporting the travails and eventual death is not professional as it creates doubt, and doubts messes up credibility.

From d writeup, all I can deduce are
1. Verification was carried out by Ify and chelsea, and it was done at the same hospital, the two links btw TEHN and perx, were d bro and nurse, and both were also responsible in announcing her death.

2. Cause of death wasn't disclosed- all dat is written is she fell into a coma and died.

3. Who verified that the 1st surgery was carried out - I'm willing to bet it was d bro or d same nurse.

4. Why would a Dr Balogun claim d initial scans sent by perx were fake.

5. Does anyone hav contact details of perx other than d hospital addy, and was it ever confirmed, cos all I read was chelsea goin to d hospital and meeting d same nurse  to confirm d death.

From the report summary, things don't add up, in other to avoid d casting of doubts, d verification process should be crystal clear, same applies to her"death". Its wat we call "lesson learnt" in other not to make d same mistakes twice. How could her "death" have been avoided if the cause of death is left to speculation.

1. The 1st verification was at her house carried out by Ifyalways and chelseabmw, we have some pictures of the visit on this thread. It was weeks after we started raising funds for her that she was admitted at UBTH, After her admission, chelseabmw went to UBTH for confirmation and he also went to the hospital after we got a phone call that she died from her family to confirm
2. Sir we do not even have the power to demand the cause of death, we are limited to what the hospital pass to the Family and what the family decides to share with us. This is Nigeria.
3. She told us herself and even posted some pictures on Nairaland after the surgery.
4. According to the information we got, the x-ray scanned-copy sent to Dr Balogun was scanned upside down, so there were some misunderstanding between them.
5. Yes we know Perx home, and we are in touch with her family members, both the younger and elder brothers.

We never claim to be professionals or have any social work experience. We are just people interested in offering help to those we believe are genuinely in need. This is about the 2nd case we are handling.

You might need to read the whole thread from start to get all the details

Thanks.

Katsumoto:
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=881517.msg10308778#msg10308778

I copied the link above from another thread; the last sentence is just too funny. I had to share to back my comment about Dede1's people settling disputes through wrestling contests. BTW, this is just for laughs.   

I cant stop laughing at that post. Please don't blame him, na too much watching of Chinese films cause am

Ozichim:
Pls. understand what we are saying. an act of wickedness is not bravery. can you point out the bravery acts of Beng. Adek,  Adekunle was so eager to distroy the Igbos do to his uncontrollable hatread. I repeat an act of wickedness is not gallantry but cheating and falsehood.
If I'm fighting your village and decide to secretly use biological weapon on them. I can single handed kill everybody in your village. Now If I kill everybody in you village with biological weapon does that make be galant/brave soldier.

It is just frustration that can make any soldier do that and it is only weaklings that do that.
Study the WW2 history and see how Americans will start feeding any territory they captured that is rule of the game by brave soldiers. Only weaklings found in the army can do such thing especially when you give them the power under frustration.

A galant soldier will even if need be, drop his gun and ask you to come out for physical fight openly.

peckhamboi:
Lmfao, the same way David Petraeus was boxing Al Qaeda from street to street in Iraq?

ROTFLMAO 

This is damm too funny,    Ozichim you are watching too much Jackie Chan, Jet Li and other Chinese films o. 

Jarus:
Why are you look for me. Do you want to kindap me? See I has moved to thisgloob .cm
I tel seun to sell niaraland to me he said no. I lauf. I want to hlep him. I help jonathan.
Merge edo oyo beniin lagos ogun ondo rivers to becom benin. Hawusa is minortiy.
See I don't lie bcaus my roommate in unilorin was tinubu's aunty. He know me. Ask seun. Wen u come to canada u will see my face

lol 

@OP

becomerich is still very much around, with a new moniker: musiwa: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=795275

Luckily for us, he has stopped intimidating us with mapology.