₦airaland Forum

Thank you LagosShia,

I have seen these child marriages first hand in many parts of the North, and my heart goes to them, cos I cant imagine anyone doing that to my sister or daughter and I would not burn down the house.

We need many more people like you to speak up for these weak, voiceless and helpless kids being abused daily.

Dont be tempted to make it Christians Vs Muslims debate, ignore the stereotypes and Islamaphobias, let the focus be on the victims of these molestation: Those innocent girls.

I have always argue that it doesn't even matter if they are approved in all the holy books and law books of the world, if recent knowledge proves to us that it is unfair the we should do away with it, same way we did away with slavery despite that the act of slavery is approved in many holy books and was approved in many countries law book at a time.

[quote author=ShyM-X]I know everyone keeps screaming responsibility to protect (R2P). However where's your R2P against:

- Child labour in the same country.
- Poverty and bad governance.
- Extreme corruption.
- Social exploitation of kids etc. in the same country.

I bet you lot are just screaming because those involved are Northerners who y'all love to hate. However, can't you see that it takes two to tango? If the people (Northern Nigerians) directly affected by it don't care - why the fvck should I?

GTFOH! - and post more topics about the future of the country and how to take power away from the center![/quote]You are the one that hate the North and doesn't give a damm about them, on the contrary we care about those Northern kids same as our own younger sisters and daughters. You should care for those weak, innocents, helpless, voiceless girls. Give them help, strength and a voice.

I served in the North, you dont even get to see these child-brides outside or when you see them you mistake them for children of their husbands until you visit their hospitals and you see man inhumanity to children written boldly all over them. One will be heartless and as guilty as their molesters not to feel concerned.

And your arguments with other vices is weak. 2 or more wrongs dont make a right. Besides these other vises are not acceptable in law like the attempt to make child marriage legal. We only need to enforce the laws against them.

[quote author=ShyM-X]Sir, I believe in the responsibility to protect(R2P) and being your brother's keeper. However, before you can "protect" or take a stand with the next person - there has to be a form of willingness and solidarity from the affected party. We can't just fight for people who aren't willing to fight and free themselves from the shackles of medievality - else it will be counterproductive and we won't get our desired results. It has to be of collective agreement between the affected party and those willing to support their stand. Northerners have to take a stand first - then we'll stand with by them - and fight against it together.

Also, slavery wasn't stopped because the culprits wanted to stop it. It was stopped due to revolting and belligerent slaves and how they made it less lucrative. The slaves took a stand and the liberal minded folks supported them. Same with the civil rights movement, fight against colonialism, and fight against apartheid.

I know change is the only constant thing in life, however, if want to make the change a permanent one - it has to be a bottom-up change. Even if we're able to fight and make under-age marriages illegal - will that stop them from doing it? I believe prostitution, child labour, sex with minor etc. are illegal in Nigeria, however, has that stopped people from engaging in those acts with impunity? We need to start off by fighting to make our institutions (especially the judiciary and the police force) effective and helping in mass education of our Northern brothers and sisters. Then, they'll be prepared to take a stand and we can also stand next to them, to achieve the desired result. Window dressing approach will never work.

Right and wrong, good and bad, and black and white - they all depend on human consciousness and outlook to life. In-betweeners will always have it better due to their non-commitment to either side. But, some will say everything isn't black and white, and gray is more like it.

However, I believe under-age marriage is wrong based on my outlook to life. But there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. When I fight, I like to fight - to achieve results. I want people I'm fighting for/with take a stand and testify with me, however, that isn't the case here. If I take a stand, I'll look more like a Lone Ranger. And that's the crux of the matter here.[/quote]Who are these people you are asking to fight for themselves? You forgot the victims here are kids. How do you expect them to fight for themselves? Form an association of underage wives or start kicking against their aggressive randy husbands' blokos? Or do you expect their men who are the benefactors of the crime to fight for them?

No, those of us who have not been corrupted by that way of life have to stand up for them. They are Nigerians and citizens of the world. We must defend and protect them at all cost. There are many ways we can fight for them and whether you know it or not, the fight has already began with many people speaking out against it. I know the fight will not be won overnight, but if we continue the fight, naming and shaming those involve, without some voices like yours who also disapprove the practice but want these people to be left alone and continue their ways of life, soon and very soon it will stop or be reduced to barest minimum, especially when many who are currently sitting on the fence join the fight.

I know a lot of the senators did not vote, cos 35 is definitely not the majority number in the senate. Hopefully in the nearest future many of them will move against it and it will become illegal to marry underage and then we will also strive to enforce that law.

[quote author=ShyM-X]1. Sir, that isn't my point - my point is that: people should be allowed freedom to their way-of-life. The Northerner Senators voted overwhelmingly for it and no Northerner has come out to speak out against it, so why're Southerners crying-me-a-river over what has absolutely nothing to do with them? At the end of the day, they aren't forcing anyone to practise, it's just there to enable those who believe in it do what they think is right for them.[/quote]This is not about North Vs South or Muslims Vs Christians. This is about what we should accept as Nigerians. If recent knowledge prove to us that what we consider as a way of life is wrong, then it calls for a change and not allow few us to sentimentally hold on to it as a way of life. Change is the only constant thing in life and sometimes we have to fight for that change. For instance slavery was a way of life supported by many cultures and religion in the past but many fought against it in the light of its evil. The world is better for it today.

2. Right or wrong is subjective and also based on outlook. Beating a child and child labour are wrong to most people. However, it's normal in Africa. So who am I to judge what a person thinks is right or wrong? Also, I definitely won't allow my under-aged sister and daughter to get married because it isn't part of my way-of-life and the consciousness instilled in me by my parents. But I definitely won't stop anyone else who believes in it, from doing it. How a person chooses to lead his/her life is non of my business.

If we are honest to ourselves, what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong. We have to look at every issue objectively, consider its merit and demerit, and then hold on to what we know is true and fair to all. Fact is we are not being fair to these kids if we allow these few pedophiles to keep mortgaging their future. They are young, weak, helpless and powerless. Those of us that know the truth should fight for them and free them.

3. There are also tons of adults (old bodies with young souls) who can't handle all these as well - should we also stop them from getting married?

YES! Marriage is not for everyone. Anyone who knows he/she cannot handle it should be discouraged from going into it. And if he or she decides to go into it then it becomes his/her choice or cup of tea, cos we expect him/her to know what is good for him/her as an adult

Lastly, life is all about choices and if the people it affects directly are in support of it - why should we be ones fighting against it? When Northerners/Muslims start fighting against it - then I'll support their cause. Till then, we need to stop the distractions and focus on Nigeria, and all the unique problems in the country.

Again like I said earlier, the fight is not about North Vs South or Muslims Vs Christians. It is a fight for Nigerian young girls that are helpless, voiceless, weak and incapable of making the right choices you talk about. We need to defend them and fight for them. Child marriage must be stopped everywhere, in every religion and culture cos it is bad.

Imagine if Mary Slessor had said same about killing of twins; after all it was the choice of the community concerned and none of those concerned was complaining at the time, am sure no one will be celebrating her as they do today. My people say "Oun ti oda koda" (What is wrong is wrong).

You dont seem to get it.

It doesn't matter if any religion, culture, document/law approves it. The question is knowing what we know about motherhood and family today, is it right? Will you approve your under age sister and daughter to get married?

Can a 13/14 year old child adequately handle the pressure of pregnancy, motherhood and marriage?

If we believe these children are not even capable of deciding a good leader for the nation during elections, why do we think they are capable of making a serious decision such as marriage for themselves.

We should be fighting to remove such abuse from every religion, culture and law books and not justify or approve the abuse with them.

lalaboi: Got my codes. . ose


Suggestion ---- it would be unfair if only the winners of the other h2h make it into the main h2h. . top 3 or top 2 atleast ( 6 or 4 places). . . people dashing awoof and those that came rock bottom are plentyfull in the FA cup.

Supported. I think anyone in top 5 of the main league and top 2 of any of the other H2H should qualify for FA if not already in FA. while the bottom 5 in the last FA should give way if there is no more space.

It also serves as a good motivation for good effort.

Very sad.

kel4soft: i can't post an article for the past days. I use a mobile phone, if i click new, it takes me to topic. Help pls

Its because you have been clicking the wrong button:

Go to the section you want to post a new topic, look at the screenshot below and click on the area circled in blue and not the area circled in red you have been clicking.

and what do I call this one now? http://havearsenalspentanymoneyyet.com/

[quote author=james_ibor]Why then was sunny_bobo's post on Tinubu from years ago deleted and the guy apparently banned while this one on Patience Jonathan made the front page last month and this second one allowed to stay. Is Nairaland gradually turning to Animal farm?[/quote]Sexkillz already answered. He judged that Sunny_bobo was trolling on the said day with his other moniker: nwabobo. He was banned for trolling with multiple ids. And I agree with him. Dont forget it is against the rules to have more than one moniker.

Also the story he posted has been posted many times on NL when it broke years ago by beaf and others, and there is no national discourse at the moment that warrant opening a new thread for that particular old story. Also nothing has changed in the circumstances of that story unlike the Abati piece which was posted as a review/analysis of the new Abati and his recent opinions/statements on the subject mater which many believe have changed because of his current position as GEJ's spokesman. If there is any reason / justification for revisiting the Tinubu's story, pray tell.

In the interest of peace, I have made visible the thread but linked and locked it to one of the old ones: https://www.nairaland.com/1363216/bola-tinubus-heroin-tainted-assets-forfeiture

Demdem: Good to see the mods hid this post however let it be on record that the culprit received no ban despite his heinous crime. This will be for a future reference.

not true, he has been banned.

[quote author=Rhino.5dm]Mukina2, please let this be on the front page. Let Nigerians read the eye popping description of Patience Jonathan from Reuben Abati, the presidential spokesman.Thanks


https://www.nairaland.com/1364637/dame-patience-must-learn-control[/quote]

naptu2: Note: the Sahara Reporters post is dated July 19, 2013

Pataki: Mukina, we kindly request this thread on NL front page.

It is trending all over the internet. And more importantly, it is pertinent to have a full grasp of what has been said in times past in relation to the CURRENT Rivers crisis.

Before Sahara posted it, the same piece was posted here last month at the beginning or River's crisis and it was on home page, Titled: Reuben Abati On Dame Patience In 2010: https://www.nairaland.com/1318959/reuben-abati-dame-patience-2010.