₦airaland Forum

bronzegoddess:
Quite a number of us ladies are in this situation. That guy comes along, is caring, God fearing, hard-working and all, but we don't get that romantic vibe with the person. I'll say keep him close, not necessarily date him, just keep him close



Y'all are allowed to read whatever meaning u want to this ^^

so in other words lead him on..... Thats wicked

@ freecocoa.... Herbalist have a manual. If not for anything, the transference of knowledge from one generation to another.

For those clamoring for season 2. Sorry to burst your bubble.... The story ends here. Why don't u share yours?

vjsmiles:
SO FATTY ACIDS CAN MAKE SOMEONE FAMOUS

Ordeh of the highest order

Topeakintola:
All these sponsored articles/ stories are getting boring by the day.

GEJ and his supporters are becoming paranoid to the extent that anyone that legitimately criticizes his administration is automatically an enemy.

This is the key issue- If GEJ delivered on his electoral promises, no amount of plotting will sway Nigerians from voting for him.

We need PDP sponsored articles to explain why the Dollar is now N201, we need explanations why the army failed in curbing BH in the last 6 years and less than 6 weeks to a postponed election, they are miraculously making inroads into BH controlled territories. We need insights as to why corrupt allegations against his Ministers have being ignored.

The truth is that Nigerians are tired of GEJ, we want change! The only alternative we have is Buhari

Sai Baba

#Gbam

DETAILS,People details, makes it more juicer

I haven't been there before but I always tear up each time my mum narrates hers and she's done that over a million times.


Missy B,you can still share your mothers own, Lets hear it.

Hello people,
Dec 15 2009,i lost my spouse, but ever since then i can't help but think about death.The whole experience has changed me,kinda made me indifferent to death.Am not scared of it,if anytime am so ready for it,not that i'll go kill myself or do any thing stupid,but if its time,then its time.so back to the topic.Have you ever been in a situation or circumstance that you knew without a doubt you were going to die,You know the kind of situation that u didn't need a soothsayer to tell you,this is death,but miraculously u survived it.also u have never forgotten the incidence, so if you have ever been in such a situation,kindly share but lemme start by sharing mine,then 2 other ones of two buddies of mine.

Way back in my uni days(GREASTEST OSUITES ), I went home so on my way back, i took a bus from Idumota to Oshodi.funny enough i was sitting in front with the driver.just as we climbed the bridge past the other bridge that will take you to IDDO and we were about to make the curve,the driver lost control of the bus,what happened i do not know, the bus slammed into the railings of the bridge, by this time the conductor hanging on the door was thrown out, the driver frantically returned the bus to the bridge but the bus had a mind of it own,it went back to slam on the railings but this time it revved so much & with so much power it wanted to climb the railings & fall below,infact the folks sitting under the bridge had taken off thinking the bus was going to fall on them.Finally, it came to a stop with the front tires already on railings.the engine just stopped.And yours truly was sitting in front of the bus.if the bus had gone ovver the rails, i knew there was no way i would have survived it,cos it wud have gone head first.i had to climb the window out of the bus.i was shaking till i got back to skool.In my heart, i knew i just saw death, & survived


My friend went to that muslim sec skool in Randle avenue surulere.Nice but notorious guy. so being a bad guy during skool hours, he jumps thru a window in to the bush behind the skool. Guess, wat home boy jumps on?, a snake.Massive mother of a snake,in 1 sec the thing wraps around his leg for like 5 mins,but God in his mercy made homeboy to stand so still as in the guy was frozen in shock.so all this while his friends that they sneaking out together are calling out to him but homeboy cant move.so after like 5 mins,i think when the snake noticed no movement from the guy,it just unwraps itself from his leg & goes off, as homeboy was telling us the story, we all knew it was God,he could have died,so many variables of wat could go wrong wat if the snake had gone up into his pants,




My last friend believes that anytime he is flying,is always a near death experience for him, paranoid bro.

So share yours if you got any,

Life continues,no shaking

if you must exhibit your ignorance in public must it be  naira land.Orde

A lady friend told me that when a lady is having her period as in menstrasting and she makes love,that the love making is more intense as in sweeter than normal. My question is-is it true.

Just there,

infact if studio no yab,then cocks will grow teeth, lol. infact yabis is the order of the day in nairaland.if you, studio no feel the joke am sure some other person go feel am. So get with the programme, relax,read it again, am sure it will get to you sooner or lera. just that your system never boot,for some its spontaneous, for some others, weeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllll, sooner or later they'll get it.

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][b][b]You were so ugly at birth, your parents named you Shit Happens.

You're so ugly, you have to put a bag on your head to get your dog to hump your leg!

You're so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.

You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.

You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.

You're so ugly, your doctor is a vet.

You're so ugly, when you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped your parents.

You're so ugly, you stuck your head out of the car window and got arrested for mooning.

You're so ugly, your pet name is Scooby-Doo.

You're so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.

You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor your father went into shock.

You're so ugly, when we play peek-a-boo - first I peeked, then I booed.

You're so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies.

You're so ugly, they call you Taco Bell, when people see you they run for the border.

You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

You're so ugly, the tide wouldn't bring you in.

You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.

You're so ugly, farmers use your picture as a scarecrow.

You're so ugly, every time you go out you get chased by the dog catcher.

You're so ugly, they call you Moses because every time you step in the lake, the water parts.

You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back. [/b][/b][/font]

@ goggles thanks for the encouragement,

@ kunbee, watever!!!!

the thing is that i was lil uneasy when i wanted to post the things cos nairaland pipis canb yab, so am kinda waiting for the yabis to flow but bottomline is that i just want people to read & enjoy a good laf.

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.

"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man,"And you, what do you do for a living?"
And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"




An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City Building, when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over, farts and says,
"Broccoli. 49 cents a pound!"






Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus, with a huge bundle of toys.

Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.

Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated, and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The question is: Who was the survivor? Scroll down for the answer.


















The perfect woman survived. She's the only one that existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and no such thing as a perfect man.

***Women stop here. That is the end of the joke.
***Men keep scrolling











So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving, and that explains why there was a car accident.


By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.








How To Impress a Woman:

Compliment her
Cuddle her
Kiss her
Tease her
Comfort her
Hug her
Send her flowers
Wine and dine her
Listen to her
Care for her
Hold her
Support her


How to Impress a Man:

Show up naked,  with beer.





A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.

One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.

Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"

The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your butt, didn't it?"

(He lived, and, with a great deal of therapy, he might walk again.)



A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Sally raised her hand and said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.

Johnny said loudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons."
The teacher said, "That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence."

Little Johnny continued, "But her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight!"

To all of you saying that IBB is beginning to make sense,i ask so what,ave you listened to the devil? He makes perfect sense that appeals to our logic,so that make him GOD,

Why is it that some women use sex as a way of getting back @ their husbands.what is their mind set?when they do this thing & the bobo seeks the thing outside his marriage,i ask who is to blame?

Yes. Women cheat too, and No, we don’t always blame it on the alcohol. It’s amazing how society thinks men cheat more than women. On the contrary, women cheat as much or maybe even more than men. And although there are supposedly 3 women for every man, the opportunity still presents itself for the woman. Here are some reasons why women cheat. (all my opinion, no particular order)

Number One
Lost Sparks
Maybe because the relationship has lost it’s spark and it’s just dull. Maybe the partner is absent emotionally, and the woman has the opportunity to find it elsewhere. Next thing you know, the classmate with whom she was supposed to study becomes her study date and they eventually end up pulling an ‘all-nighter’ (pun intended)

Number Two
Feeling Neglected and Unappreciated
She cooks, she cleans, she even soaks your dirty drawers. Yeah, the one with the mud stains and holes running through the crotch she never gets a “Thank you honey, for washing my fruit of the looms” or even a “Babe, do you need help with the dishes? I know you must be tired after cooking that spectacular meal” Instead she gets nothing but a cold shoulder as you watch your football games. If you don’t pay her as much attention as you pay your favorite sports team, she may be the next “wide-receiver’ kicking it with a new ‘tight-end’ and trust me. When it goes that far, there will be no ‘Running Back”

Number Three
Revenge Revenge Revenge
Although this is not the best method of revenge, it definitely is one of the most enjoyable form of stupidity. She’s constantly tired of seeing lipstick stains in front of your jeans, tired of you smelling like “Irish Springs” when you come home from work, knowing damn well you guys use “Dove unscented body wash”. When a woman’s fed up, there is little to nothing to be done about it.

Number Four
Your Emotional Withdrawal
When you both were dating, you used to stay up on the phone, talking till five o’clock in the morning, now it’s a miracle if you even greet each other “good morning” Emotional neglect is a sure fire way to have any man or woman looking for a way out. Unfortunately, the way out could be through the arms of another man…or woman.

Number Five
A Cold Bed

If the sex was like the energizer bunny in the beginning , but now feels like a house chore, then it’s a problem. YES women have libido and a “sex drive” too. (Men just have a stick shift) It’s good to keep the love making spicy, and not monotonous.

Number Six
The Exit Strategy
Maybe to her , she feels that infidelity is the only way out. Perhaps you have refused to break up, or maybe she doesn’t want to be the person to initiate the break-up. Either way, some women may feel that breaking up as a result of her cheating is the easy way out (#EpicFail)

Number Seven
Its in the blood
No offense, but some people just can’t stay committed. No matter how much of a sexpert slash super hero slash successful angel you are. Some women are just like that. Nothing personal. When you have a woman like that, just know when to let go.

Number Eight
Self-Esteem
This should be self explanatory. It’s the slippery slope we commonly know as low self esteem. People with low self esteem are thirsty for a booster, craving attention etc. Although this is not always the case, and I’m not saying that all women who have self esteem issues are going to cheat, it is definitely one of the causes. ( Men are not excluded either)

Number Nine
The Bad Girl Syndrome
Like a wild beast unleashed from captivity, some women may cheat when unleashed after experiencing some life changing events like major weight loss, new job, new friends, mid-life crisis, etc. Keep communication free and open and you might not have to deal with this issue.

Number Ten
Sex but No intimacy
Yes we like to cuddle, we like to be told we are the most beautiful creature ever to have descended on planet earth and surrounding areas. You may have great sex, but if the intimacy is not there, forget it! She might still cheat on you. Find a balance between sex, love and intimacy and you may not have this problem.
What do you feel about this post? Am I missing anything?Leave a comment and

I lost my spouse last year Dec. In our bed room there are 3 Ward robes, & before her demise she was using the last ward robe, we share the middle 1 & i use the 3RD one.since her demise, i just locked it up nobody goes there,i mean nobody.in fact i stay alone except for my cousin who does not enter my room. also there is nothing valuable there. so locked it up. so some 4 DAYS AGO, I GO TO bed & i wake up in the morning her ward robe is wide open.before u can open it, u need to turn the key & pull the door, so its wide open.it really spooked me & i can't tell my cousin cos am scared it will spooke him & he will run away.though i still sleep in the room cos am not easily scared,& i also know that she loved me too much too hurt me.the thing is that i can't get it out of my mind since.As in is she trying to tell me something from the othre side,are ghost real, am a xtain & i know its appointed for man to live,die  & then judgement once.PLS CAN SOMEBODY OFFER ANY HELP?hAS ANY ONE BEEN IN THIS KIND OF DILEMA BEFORE.PLS ONLY SERIOUS MINDED PEOPLE

[i][b]Hello, i get to listen to a lot of radio esp on my way to work in the mornings, i normally don't know who to listen to btw DAN FOSTER Of inspiration Fm or OLISA ADIBUA Of beat Fm,  just for curiousity reasons who is the better presenter & why is he better?strong & weaks points

Long time coming . His case is like the proverbial goat that the owner wanted to roast,then goes to rub kerosene on its body.The acting president has been embarrased enough,remb they deployed soldiers to the airport without the knowlegde of the commander in chief,if it was a coup that would have been it.GOOD RIDDANCE

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Something is fishy.is he a citizen,does he need you for his papers?etc.tread carefully & if you can move out,they mighty hurt you or your child if u pose a threat to em.BE CAREFULL.

very nice indeed

Why do you want to know? Tell us who taught you? am sure na your house girl

Hi,i just lost my wife & we've not had kids yet but the loneliness & boredom is killing me.i need female friends to talk to.Male or female I don't mind.i just want friends.Pls only serious posters pls.sms or call me on 08098689433,07023157080.

why wouldn't we all love d movie Avatar?Soup wey sweet na money kill am.do u know d movie cost 300 million $ to make.they even had 2 INVENT a new camera to take some shots.awon Oyinbo yen ti lor.i wonder what our budget is in Nollywood.2 james I duff my hat.

this guy is seeing the wrong things.Marriage can be a bed of roses even though roses ave thorns.irrespective its a beautiful thingy.

homos are demon infested.i will keep my kids & family away from them.influence is a very powerful thing.i ave a divine mandate to protect my family from devilish perversion.

My question is do u intend to marry ur galfriend.if yes,kick ur sistas pal to the kerb,if No & u are still sampling then guy njoy thyself, u only live once.eat ur cake.