₦airaland Forum

Prevention is better than cure, use my shoulder once and be sure never to be depressed again. ever. Money back guaranteed. Serliouslylmfao

Nope, my gal will give me sex whenevr i get out of jail. meanwhile she is having sex by herself cos Im not around.
But if u want sex, Ill give it to you for bout a day or two, Im sure my gal wont mind. But beware sex is a bitch.

spenchuks:
its soooo sexy!
i wish i could hav sex too

Since Im in jail now because of sex and cant have it anymore, you can have it since my babe still has sex.
lol.

ogorluv:
Did u consider th fct that her child might actually be a monkey.

yes. Stranger things have happend. jst yestday, 1 woman on my street actually gave birth to a snake. . Tru2goz I was there to witness the whole thing. I actually saw the baby snake come wriggling out.

If u doubt me ask my brother, he was there too.

Guess what? As I dey come back from work today, I see 1 fine gal like that so I ask who she be, them talk say na the snake wey the woman for my street born day b4 ystday, but tyhe gal fine pass the babe for tim picture and I love am, in short I wan marry am, but I dey fear small, abeg make un a advice me.

No seriously, whose naming cemony are we attending. Is the fathers name by any chance Lucifer. is it the devils own spawn from hell? I mean 2am ceremonies, partigipants dressed in red, got me running scared.

Temivict:
I hope your so called Dog SEx will not put into trouble one day

You must be a prophet cos the bitch actually did. The full story is on another post,
ME AND MY DOG.
Enjoy!

bastrin:
great one n please when de let you out I know sex will not be there again for you so try n get a Mouth Action.

Don't worry, tho I hear from jail tht sex is now with other men, bt thats a big lie, actually sex is still with my babe.

How do you know if you're in love, lust, or marriage?

LOVE when your eyes meet across a crowded room
LUST when your tongues meet across a crowded room
MARRIAGE when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care

LOVE when intercourse is called making love
LUST all other times
MARRIAGE what's intercourse?

LOVE when you argue over how many children to have
LUST When you argue over who gets the wet spot
MARRIAGE when you argue over money

LOVE when you share everything you own
LUST when you think twice about giving your partner bus money
MARRIAGE when the bank owns everything

LOVE when it doesn't matter if you don't climax
LUST when the relationship is over if you don't climax
MARRIAGE what's a climax?

LOVE when you phone each other just to say "Hi"
LUST when you phone each other just to organize sex
MARRIAGE when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts

LOVE when you write poems about your partner
LUST when all you write is your phone number
MARRIAGE when all you write are check's

LOVE when you show concern for your partners' feelings
LUST when you couldn't give a rip
MARRIAGE when your only concern is what's on TV

LOVE when your farewell is "I love you darling"
LUST when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE when your farewell is silent

LOVE when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner
LUST when you only ever see each other in the bedroom
MARRIAGE when you never see each other awake

LOVE when your heart flutters every time you see them
LUST when your groin twitches every time you see them
MARRIAGE when your wallet empties every time you see them

LOVE when nobody else matters
LUST when nobody else knows
MARRIAGE when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows

LOVE when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel
LUST when it's just the same mushy old crap
MARRIAGE when you never listen to music

LOVE when breaking up is something you try not to think about
LUST when staying together is something you try not to think about
MARRIAGE when just getting through today is your only thought

LOVE when you're interested in everything your partner does
LUST when you're only interested in one thing
MARRIAGE when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score

Which kin pikin u dey name by 2am. And what are u naming him, ANTI-CHRIST?
I'm not comin.Period.
For the ponderers, stop ponderin and decide not to go.

Did u consider th fct that her child might actually be a monkey.

yep. Stranger things have happend. jst yestday, 1 woman on my street actually gave birth to a snake. . Tru2goz I was there to witness the whole thing. I actually saw the baby snake come wriggling out.

If u doubt me ask my brother, he was there too.

thnks segun, but I'm still pissed @ him.
Anyways, I'm not surprised he thinks its old because, all he does is sit there all day pounding away on his computer keyboard. Nerd.

thnks segun, but I'm still pissed @ him.
Anyways, I'm not surprised he thinks its old because, all he does is sit there all day pounding away on his computer keyboard.

.

ituen:
old

Same as u dude. Kill joy.
*hisses and walks away in disgust*

food

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. , Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. , I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. , I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

@Poster
You tried,
everyone superior to you in an organization is an asshole right?
[quote][/quote]That can't be right cos I know some assholes among us that are in no way superior.

Funny joke tho.

then what happened?
Is this where I'm supposed to laff?

zelaws:
ogorluv
na mountain that thing be o if u get faith like mustad seed u go tell am make e vanish and e go vanish so go back to your kneels fast and pray for a miracle the tin go vanish

I've been praying since yesterday and during my prayers I got a revelation telling me that there was no solution to my problem. bia bia comes from God and therefore, I have decided to embrace nature and not shave again, so that I'll resemble the prophets of old.

[url][/url]Guys, I need som advice as well on that issue, I used to fast and pray about getting the bia bia, but now I hav it, the damm tin won't stop growng, hav too use a lawn mower every 2 days. be careful of what u wish for folks, u just might get it, abundantly.

Bouqee:

i forgot to laugh

some people just don't have a sence of humour. Find another section nd leav the jokes room if u can't appreciate a good 1.

I just get tired of all these people forwarding stupid mails to my box and tellin me if I foward to 12people in 10 minuites I woud get 5 days of goodluck. Supid, really stupid.

I don't wanna talk to u again, I don't wanna see you aggain and this is forever.Don't call text or send people to beg, my decision is final. This is what failure is saying to you so embrace success cos thats ur new best friend.

There are no standard lines in my expirience. All you need is to catgch her attention, get her interested and keep her interested. you could get her attention in many ways, comment on her hair, clothes or even by ignoring her(specially for the real hotties).

If you want to know more, let me kow.

[b][/b]I am sure that most of you guys have been recieving some really funny emails, I don't know where they come from but here is how I answer them:

Thanks to my friends who have been sending me such informative emails. It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform! I'm sure you wish to thank me for the same!

Because of you:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out from you that it's good for removing toilet stains. I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you said it causes cancer. I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, because you said that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone because you said that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover.

I stopped consuming several foods because you said the estrogen they contain may turn me gay.

I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because you told me they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can - you said that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

When I go to parties, I now don't mix with anybody - you said that someone will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick girl that was about to die in the hospital. Funny thing, she never seems to get any older.

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, in anticipation of the $15,000.00 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program. It's weird, though, that my new free cell phone never arrived, and neither did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.

But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.

PS: If you don't send this by e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, a bird will shit on you tomorrow at 3:00 PM!